Thursday - August 11, 2005

Sympathy For The Devil, Baghdad Style

At this rate, we’ll never figure out the Iraqi people and how to help them. Sunnis, Shias, Kurds, all are squabbling over who gets what and who gets to do what - and that’s just the three main divisions in the Iraqi population. Yesterday’s parliamentary session was interrupted when one minister and his followers protested the somewhat negative attitude of the rest of parliament toward the devil, whom they worship as Lucifer ....

BAGHDAD (AFP) - The Devil looked in on Iraq’s parliament when an MP upbraided Prime Minister Ibrahim Jaafari for speaking ill of Lucifer. Kameran Khairi Said, a Kurdish MP and a member of the minority Yezidi community which worships the peacock angel, also known as Lucifer, angrily interrupted the prime minister during a parliamentary debate.

“Mr prime minister and ministers, my speaking out might seem strange to you but we feel insulted when you repeatedly use the expression in your speeches and statements ‘God protects us from the Devil’. “Each time the word is pronounced, my colleagues turn towards me as if I were a representative of the Devil,” he added amid guffaws from other MPs.

Yezidis follow a pre-Islamic religion, which some believe was founded in the 12th century by Sheikh Uday bin Masafel al-Amawi, although many scholars trace its origins to the Zoroastrian religion of ancient Persia. Sheikh Uday was born in Damascus but died in the town of Lalish, in northern Iraq, where his tomb has become the Yezidis’ holiest shrine. The community is still largely based in the foothills north of Iraq’s main northern city of Mosul and in the Sinjar mountains on the border with Syria.

But followers of the faith can be found throughout the Kurdish diaspora, in neighbouring Syria and Turkey as well as the former Soviet republics of the Caucasus, or in Germany and Britain. “There are 600,000 to 700,000 Kurdish yezidis and they feel insulted whenever you use that phrase and we call on all those in a position of authority to take account of this,” Said said. The Yezidis do not believe in heaven or hell, and do not regard Satan as evil. In fact, they worship him—but dare not say his name.

Posted by The Skipper     on 08/11/2005 at 08:43 AM   
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   Wednesday - July 27, 2005

The Religion Of Peace

The Religion Of Peace ....

“Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.” (Matthew 26:52)

“Jesus answered, My kingdom is not of this world: if my kingdom were of this world, then would my servants fight, that I should not be delivered to the Jews: but now is my kingdom not from hence.” (John 18:36)

“Peace [be] to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 6:23)

Not The Religion Of Peace

“Fight in the cause of God those who fight you . . . slay them wherever ye catch them . . . But fight them not at the sacred Mosque, unless they (first) fight you there; But if they fight you, slay them. Such is the reward of those who suppress faith . . . And fight them on until there is no more tumult or oppression, and there prevail . . . Let there be no hostility except to those who practise oppression” (Sura II.190-193).

“Fighting is prescribed for you . . .” (II.216).

“Then fight in the cause of God, and know that God heareth and knoweth all things” (II.244).

“Let those fight in the cause of God who see the life of this world for the Hereafter. To him who fighteth in the cause of God, whether he is slain or gets victory – soon shall we give him a reward of great (value)” (IV.74).

“Those who believe fight in the cause of God, and those who reject Faith fight in the cause of Evil” (IV.76).

“Fight them on until there is no mor [sic] tumult or oppression . .” (VIII.39).

“Apostle! Arouse the Believers to the fight . . . they will vanquish a thousand of the Unbelievers: for these are a people without understanding” (VIII.65).

“. . . fight and slay the pagans wherever ye find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war)” (IX.5; cf. 12-13).

“Fight those who believe not in God nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by God and His Apostle, nor acknowledge the Religion of Truth, (even if they are of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya [a tax for those who do not accept Islam] with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued” (IX.29).

Memo: As LC Rat Patrol reminded me in the comments for this post, I am the Good Cop and Misha at Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiller is the Bad Cop. You see, I soften the MOOS-LIMS up with kind, educated comparisons like the one above and never do anything meaner to the MOOS-LIMS than make them wear panties on their pointy little heads. Misha, however, breaks out the guard dogs, guns, bullwhips, electrocution, etc. and proceeds to just beat the living shit out of the raghead fuckers. Reference this post: “Hey, You Islamic Pig Molesters!” Note: our beloved BlogFather do tend to get pissed at the “pig fuckers” so send the kids out of the room before you read. Hee-hee ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 07/27/2005 at 10:06 AM   
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   Sunday - July 17, 2005

Imams being told to ‘put a cork in it’

Radical Kuwaiti Imams Drowned Out in Pro-American Protests by Local Worshippers

“The Imam of al-Jabiriyah preached against the Americans and the Worshippers shouted ‘O’ Allah, make America stronger!”

Oh yeah, this is the sort of thing that will turn the tide.

“The Al-Siyasah newspaper has received news that several mosques in Kuwait have begun to exhibit a new phenomenon manifested in the rejection by worshippers of extremist prayers expressed by some of the Imams during their Khutbah [friday prayer].  These prayers included invitations to fight the Americans and to become more hostile towards them.  An example of this [phenomenon] was when Nabil al-Awadi, who is an Imam at one of the mosques in the southern region of Al-Surrah, began preaching against the Americans in his last Friday Khutbah.  As a result, the people at prayer cut off his speech and demanded that he stop talking.  Additionally, the worshippers at the mosque of Aisha Shabib in the Al-Jabiriyah neighborhood shouted, ‘O’ Allah, make Islam and America stronger’ in response to what the Imam of that mosque had said during friday prayer about America and the current war [in Iraq].”

Let’s all hold our breath and wait for this to be reported by the MSM.

(Thanks StinKerr)

Posted by Drew458     on 07/17/2005 at 04:28 AM   
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   Wednesday - June 29, 2005

Addendum

_{Bob Gorrell, National/Syndicated}

Posted by The Skipper     on 06/29/2005 at 05:57 AM   
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   Monday - June 27, 2005

No Ten Commandments

Well, SCOTUS has handed down its decision on display of The Ten Commandments in public places like courthouses, city halls, etc. ....

WASHINGTON - In a narrowly drawn ruling, the Supreme Court struck down Ten Commandments displays in courthouses Monday, holding that two exhibits in Kentucky crossed the line between separation of church and state because they promoted a religious message.

The 5-4 decision, first of two seeking to mediate the bitter culture war over religion’s place in public life, took a case-by-case approach to this vexing issue. In the decision, the court declined to prohibit all displays in court buildings or on government property.

The justices left themselves legal wiggle room on this issue, however, saying that some displays — like their own courtroom frieze — would be permissible if they’re portrayed neutrally in order to honor the nation’s legal history.

But framed copies in two Kentucky courthouses went too far in endorsing religion, the court held.

“The touchstone for our analysis is the principle that the First Amendment mandates government neutrality between religion and religion, and between religion and nonreligion,” Justice David H. Souter wrote for the majority.

“When the government acts with the ostensible and predominant purpose of advancing religion, it violates that central Establishment clause value of official religious neutrality,” he said.

Souter was joined in his opinion by other members of the liberal bloc — Justices John Paul Stevens, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen G. Breyer, as well as Reagan appointee Sandra Day O’Connor, who provided the swing vote.

In a dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia argued that Ten Commandments displays are a legitimate tribute to the nation’s religious and legal history.

“Government officials may have had a religious purpose when they originally posted the Ten Commandments display by itself in 1999. But their efforts to dilute the religious message since then by hanging other historical documents in the courthouses made it constitutionally adequate”, Scalia said.

He was joined in his opinion by Chief William H. Rehnquist, as well as Justice Anthony Kennedy and Clarence Thomas.

“In the court’s view , the impermissible motive was apparent from the initial displays of the Ten Commandments all by themselves: When that occurs: the Court says, a religious object is unmistakable,” he wrote. “Surely that cannot be.”

“The Commandments have a proper place in our civil history,” Scalia wrote.

Posted by The Skipper     on 06/27/2005 at 09:36 AM   
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   Tuesday - May 31, 2005

Bohemian Rhapsody

Mae, at Bohemian Conservative, has had a religious epiphany and it scares “epiph” out of me because it smells suspiciously like another religion’s “master plan”. Go read it. BYOK (Bring Your Own Kiwis).

But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
for me ..
for me ....

Note: Yes, I’m finally back home after a rough weekend. I’m catching up on e-mails now.

Posted by The Skipper     on 05/31/2005 at 11:44 AM   
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   Monday - April 25, 2005

The Golden Phone

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and began working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read “Calls: $10,000 a minute.”

Seeking out the pastor, he asked about the phone and the sign The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Tulsa, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived at a small church in Brady, Texas. Behold- he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: “Calls: 35 cents.” Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, “Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in many churches I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?”

(I love this part............................)

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, “Son, you’re in Texas now......It’s a local call.”

Thanks to my buddy Robert

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/25/2005 at 06:21 PM   
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Freedom Of Religion

Question: what do Saudi Arabia and our nation’s school systems have in common? Answer: group prayer to a Christian God is illegal. Yep, the ragheads in the Kingdom of Saud still insist that praying to any other god than Allah within the borders of their kingdom is against the law. They recently arrested 40 Pakistani Christians for the horrible crime of group prayer in their house. To make matters worse, the “criminals” actually had in their possession weapons of mass resurrection, i.e. Christian books and tapes.

In a rare official rebuke of a close ally last year, Washington accused Saudi Arabia of severe violations of religious freedom. “Freedom of religion is not recognized or protected under the country’s laws and basic religious freedoms are denied to all but those who adhere to the state-sanctioned version of Sunni Islam,” the State Department said in an annual report.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/25/2005 at 08:00 AM   
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   Friday - April 22, 2005

Eggs Benedict XVI Recipe

I made these this morning. It is a pretty involved process, but quite tasty. Which reminds me of the old joke:

What do Eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

They are two things that you never get at home.

There are four basic ingredients needed here:

Poached eggs.
German rye bread.
Sauerbraten.
Hollandaise sauce.

The Sauerbraten takes the longest time to cook so start it first:

Quick Sauerbraten

2 tablespoons of oleo
4 beef cube steaks
Salt & pepper to taste
2 tablespoons of chopped onions
1 cup of water
1 package of brown gravy mix
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
1 tablespoon of red wine vinegar

In fry pan, heat oleo, add milk and brown on both sides. Season with salt and pepper. Add onion, cook until tender. Stir in water, gravy mix, brown sugar and vinegar. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until mixture boils. Cover and simmer 10 to 15 minutes until meat is tender.

The hollandaise sauce is the second most labor intensive ingredient, so start it second.

Hollandaise

3 egg yolks
1 teapsoon water
1/4 teaspoon sugar
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Pour 1-inch of water into a large saucepan; over medium heat, bring to a simmer. Once simmering, reduce the heat to low.

Place egg yolks and 1 teaspoon water in a medium mixing bowl and whisk until mixture lightens in color, approximately 1 to 2 minutes. Add the sugar and whisk for another 30 seconds.

Place the mixture over the simmering water and whisk constantly for 3 to 5 minutes, or until there is a clear line that is drawn in the mixture when you pull your whisk through, or the mixture coats the back of a spoon.

Remove the bowl from over the pan and gradually add the butter, 1 piece at a time, and whisk until all of the butter is incorporated. Place the bowl back over the simmering water occasionally so that it will be warm enough the melt the butter. Add the salt, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper. Serve immediately or hold in a thermos to keep warm.

Finally, you need to poach four eggs and toast four pieces of German rye bread about ¾ of an inch thick. If you do not know how to poach eggs or make toast without a recipe, please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE EGGS BENEDICT XVI.

Put the toast on a plate, put the sauerbraten on the toast, put the egg on the sauerbraten and top it all off with the hollandaise sauce and a little bit of chopped parsley.

Yum, yum…

I am off to Fort Worth today, so someone else needs to pick up the slack and bash Florida today.

Later…

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/22/2005 at 08:25 AM   
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   Thursday - April 21, 2005

John Paul II: Comedian

According to National Review‘s latest issue (April 25, 2005, Page 34), Pope John Paul II not only helped defeat Communism and rejuvenate the Catholic Church but he had quite a sense of humor. Here are two humorous anecdotes from John Paul II ....

Once someone asked John Paul II how many people worked in the Vatican. To which he replied, “about half”.

In one informal dinner at the Vatican an American asked John Paul II whether he knew what people in Poland were saying was his favorite joke. His eyes were quizzical at first and then he replied, “I was supposedly asked ‘What is the solution to the Polish crisis? There are thirty-nine parties in next month’s elections, including ‘the Beer Drinkers party’ and cynicism is rising’. To which I am supposed to have said: ‘There are only two solutions to the Polish crisis, the realistic solution and the miraculous solution. The realistic solution is: if the Lady of Czestochowa should suddenly appear, with Jesus and all the saints and solve the Polish crisis. The miraculous solution is: if the Poles learn to cooperate.’”

Ya gotta love it .... and the man. How many men could bear the burdens he bore for a quarter of a century, helped bring Communism to an end in Europe, steering the Church through American priests’ troubles with liberal concepts and pedophilia, increasing the Christian faith in South America and Africa .... and still maintain a sense of humor. The man was a saint.

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/21/2005 at 10:28 PM   
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Eggs Benedict XVI

Who didn’t see this coming? You just lose the English muffin and Canadian bacon and substitute German rye and sauerbrauten. They kept that damned French hollandaise sauce in the recipe however. It seems to me that they should have just soaked it in beer.

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/21/2005 at 03:12 PM   
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Email the pope

The Pope has an email address now. Can you imagine the amount of spam he must get. A million Viagra and penis enlargement ads a day I bet. Click here to email the pope.

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/21/2005 at 03:02 PM   
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   Monday - April 18, 2005

Not Much to Report, But We Are Reporting It Anyway

All the mainstream TV news networks have a Sistine Stovepipe Cam in a corner of my TV screen today. I wonder if it will stay there, if the election drags on. The reporters are having a hell of a hard time coming up with something to say. All the parties to the election are, after all, locked up and sworn to silence. However, the networks are doing a pretty good job of filling up airtime with speculative drivel. I hope the Cardinals elect somebody pretty soon, so that we won’t be forced to listen to this harangue for an extended period of time.

That would be the Christian thing to do.

Posted by Yellow Dog     on 04/18/2005 at 12:16 PM   
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   Monday - April 04, 2005

Homecoming

^{Tab (Thomas Boldt), The Calgary Sun, Alberta, Canada}

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/04/2005 at 05:14 AM   
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