Wednesday - April 20, 2005

Good News & Bad News

The good news is I just found out that my favorite comic strip is being made into a movie for release in May, 2006. The even better news is that Bruce Willis is doing the voice of “R.J. Raccoon”. The bad news is that William Shatner is doing one of the voices. The best news of all time would be if Shatner is doing the voice of “Zippy The Air-Head Squirrel”. Or maybe Whoopi Goldberg would be better suited for that part. Hmmmmmm ....

Launch photon torpedos, Mr. Sulu ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/20/2005 at 08:55 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Saturday - April 09, 2005

The Lion King Is Dead

Sony Corp. yesterday stepped in with a consortium of other companies and bought the remains of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM). They will divide up what remains of the once great movie company and it will disappear forever. Sam Goldwyn and Louis B. Mayer are crying in their graves. Say a last goodbye to “Leo” .... ROAR ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/09/2005 at 11:16 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Wednesday - March 16, 2005

Typical Liberal

Warren Beatty (I can’t stand the son of a bitch) has his knickers in a twist because Governor Schwarzenegger is not paying attention to him.

Beatty wants Arnold to raise taxes on the rich in order to fund God knows what.

How typical of a socialist bastard---if he’s so concerned about the financial situation of the state of Californicators, then why doesn’t he just write a check above and beyond what he owes?  Furthermore, why isn’t he on the stump trying to convince all his fellow bedwetting liberals to do the same?

You know the answer, right?  Go on, I want to hear you say it.

OBTW, he also got a political award!  WTF?  Because he PLAYED a politician?  They say it was for a lifetime of political work.  I say it’s because he sucks Donk dick. 

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/16/2005 at 06:29 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Hollywood •  
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   Friday - March 04, 2005

You Know Things Suck For You When…..

When Rollingstone writes an article stating that MoveOn.org is ineffectual at what it tries to do and then ends it with this:

Like so many other Internet start-ups, MoveOn has raised—and burned through—tens of millions of dollars, innovating without producing many concrete results. Any reasonable analysis shows its stock may be dangerously overvalued. Those banking on MoveOn had better hope it is more Google than Pets.com. Because should the group flame out, the Democrats could be in for a fall of Nasdaq proportions.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!

In more bad news for Hollywood’s elitist assholes, I bring you this little choice snippet which says that American moviegoers are rejecting left-wing crap films from Hollywood, preferring more patriotic fare.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/04/2005 at 07:00 AM   
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   Thursday - March 03, 2005

Hollywood Just Does Not Get This

A few days ago I heard a woman call in to a talk show and start ranting about how Hollywood was going to take the Looney-Tunes characters and demonize them.  The host was caught off guard wondering what the hell she was talking about as she, herself, was sounding a bit Looney-Tunes (if you get my drift.)

Well, she’s right.  Hollywood plans to do just that. Imagine a nasty looking Bugs Buggy or Daffy Duck or Elmer Fudd all doing nasty things.  Somehow Hollywood thinks it’ll be a great way to “modernize” the old classics.  it’ll make them “hip”, “fresh.”

But no parents have been asked whether or not this would be appropriate for children given the level of violence on TV today.  Not only that but what else might Warner Brothers be trying to do?  How about showing Bugs in a romantic tryst with Elmer where they end up in bed?  Or maybe have Bugs undergoes an operation to “transform” himself into a female, permanently?  Yeah, don’t even get started on me about how Bugs used to plant big smackeroos on Elmer or even cross-dress.  Somehow it never entered our child minds that this was real back when we were kids.  Today, though? Given what kids learn in school---as opposed to what they SHOULD learn.......................?

Hell, look at the Simpsons.  One of the aunts is going to come out of the closet and declare she’s a carpet muncher.  Why?  What purpose is served in doing this for programming directed at kids if not to desensitize them?

The author nails it with this quote:

While the Simpson producers often say the show is not for kids, Fox knows better - which is why they run the show at 8, when more kids are likely to be watching.  Note to the producers of the Simpsons: if you want to pretend The Simpsons isn’t for kids, don’t make lunchboxes.

TRUE!  How many 14 year olds do you see taking lunchboxes to school?  Zero, right? They are all 6,7,8 year old kids who DO watch the Simpsons.  Again, don’t give me any shit about parental control and how parents can turn the sets off.  I don’t want to hear about it and may even delete your comment if you piss me off enough to display the stupidity of not understanding the argument is not about that but about the blatant lies, hypocrisy and disingenuousness of studios claiming one thing in public and doing something totally different to pervert/subvert our kids.  (yeah, this one REALLY pisses me off enough I’d do so.)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/03/2005 at 07:03 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Hollywood •  
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   Monday - February 28, 2005

Notice Anything?

Like a veritable paucity (nay, an absolute dearth, I tell you) of any commentary on the Oscars on this site?

Because I think they suck (oh, yeah, and the people involved in the process also suck----each other off for nominations.)

Of course, having opened this Pandora’s box for you, I expect many will jump right in.

Sad.

Let the sociological experiment begin!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/28/2005 at 09:42 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Friday - February 25, 2005

BMEWS Oscar Preview

This Sunday night, the Hollyweirdos will gather in front of the TV cameras, dressed in all their fancy designer clothes and massive jewelry collections to pat each other on the back and engage in the world’s biggest circle-jerk in front of all the great unwashed masses in “flyover country”, who will be glued to their TV sets jealously wondering who will win the coveted Academy Awards .... or maybe not. Personally, I have more important (and more entertaining) things to do Sunday night .... like trimming my toenails and cleaning out the most recent science experiments in my refrigerator (what the hell is that gray stuff that grows on tomatoes after only two weeks in the fridge?). For the full list of nominees, click here. Anyway, in the “For What It’s Worth Department”, here is my take on the pictures and “actor-persons” nominated this year. Let me know how I did on Monday.

Best Picture:

“Finding Neverland”: I’ve seen all of the nominated pictures except this one. I (mistakenly) thought it was about Michael Jackson’s home and when I saw it starred Johnny Depp, I crossed it off the list. However, some people who saw it say it was pretty cool. However, “pretty cool” doesn’t win Oscars. Dark horse candidate at best.

“The Aviator”: Somehow, the image of Howard Hughes with Leonardo DiCaprio’s high squeeky voice just didn’t click with me. Alan Alda played a fairly convincing evil Congress-Critter and Cate Blanchett did an impeccable impersonation of Katie Hepburn. The story was fairly accurate but DiCaprio pretty much ruined it for me. His interpretation of Howard Hughe’s descent into madness left a lot to be desired. The kid just can’t act. For a better view of a man’s greed and disintegration into insanity rent “Treasure Of The Sierra Madre”. DiCaprio could take several lessons from Bogart.

“Sideways”: Make no mistake about it, guys. This is a “chick flick” in disguise. Two men go on a trip through wine country in California prior to one of them getting married. The only problem is the guy who is about to get married wants to use the trip to bed as many women as possible before getting hitched and the other guy is a neurotic, nutless basket-case who hasn’t recovered from a recent divorce. That pretty much sums it up. Of course, they get their nuts in a wringer with some chicks they pick up and by the time the credits roll, you’ll be squirming in your seat wondering how in the hell you let your girlfriend/wife talk you into paying $20 for two tickets to watch this embaressment to guys everywhere.

“Million Dollar Baby”: this is one of Clint Eastwood’s better movies. I admit I thoroughly enjoyed it .... up until the ending (which I won’t disclose). Unfortunately, it is that ending that will probably keep it from winning an Oscar (there is already quite a controversy brewing over this ending). The overall acting was excellent and Hillary Swank will steal your heart away. She should get Best Actress for this one. Clint already has an Oscar for “Unforgiven” so the Academy will probably pass over him this time. I do urge all of you to see this flick though .... just have your crying tissue ready for the ending.

“Ray”: You all know I’m a huge fan of Ray Charles so you can understand if I say I was prepared to absolutely hate this film. I was prepared for another of Hollywood’s glossy, piss-poor tributes to an artist. I was wrong. The movie delves into Ray Charles’ life and pulls no punches .... but does so in a tasteful, honest manner. Jamie Foxx gives the performance of a lifetime and deserves the Oscar for Best Actor. I think Ray would be proud of the movie and the actor who played him .... even though it brings up moments in the great soul singer’s life that he would probably rather never have happened. A fine tribute .... and my pick for Best Picture. Hell, you should see it just for the soundtrack .... What’d I Say?

Overlooked Picture: Finally, what would the Academy Awards be without one picture that everyone should see but received no nominations. Last year, I said that picture was “Secondhand Lions” and this year I have another fantastic picture that somehow escaped Hollywood’s attention .... “Ladder 49”. It is a beautifully made tribute to firefighters everywhere and Joacquin Phoenix displayed outstanding talent in the lead role. John Travolta also starred in this magnificent movie but Phoenix is the character to watch .... until the ending. Sometimes life just sucks .... especially if you have a dangerous workplace.

So there you have it, troops! Let me know what you think and if you stay up to watch this overhyped four-hour extravaganza Sunday night, drop me an e-mail to let me know how my predictions came out. In return, I’ll give you an update on my attempts to grow penicillin in my fridge. Do we have a deal?

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/25/2005 at 01:57 PM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Friday - February 18, 2005

Liberal Asshats In Hollywood

One of our readers notified me of this yesterday and I also saw it on Fox News last night but couldn’t find any news organization that covered it online or anywhere else (go figure!).

Anyway, to make a long story short, it took the asshat liberal turds in Hollywood less than a day to vandalize the signs put up by Citizens United thanking Hollywood for helping re-elect George W. Bush. I guess the Hollyweirdos just couldn’t appreciate the kind thought extended to them .... ya think?

I’d like to find the little pea-brained forons who did this and .... never mind, I’m just having a really bad vision of boiling oil, splinters, racks, whips, baseball bats, knives and other assorted implements of torture - and I’m not talking Abu Ghraib - I’m talking the REAL DEAL, sweetheart!

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/18/2005 at 05:21 PM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Thursday - February 17, 2005

Late Night Bashing Wacko Jacko

Letterman and Leno are all over Michael Jackson .... figuratively, of course ....

■ Good news today from the hospital - Michael Jackson’s condition has been upgraded from nutball to weirdo.

■ Here’s my question - how do you know when Michael Jackson is sick? Does the color suddenly return to his cheeks?

■ Actually, if you saw the press conference, doctors in the ER examined Michael for over an hour. They said it was like an episode of alien autopsy. None of the organs were in the same place ...

■ But the good news is, they said this is the first time Michael Jackson could actually go into a hospital and come out with the same nose he went in with.

■ Have you heard about this? This is true. For some reason I’m being called as a witness in the Michael Jackson trial. Actually, they told me I’m a minor witness. As opposed to most of the witnesses, who are minors.

■ Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital yesterday due to the flu. His condition has since been upgraded from serious to creepy.

■ Michael Jackson checked into a hospital yesterday for the flu. But he’s doing fine now. Today he was dangling his doctor from a balcony.

■ Doctors say he will be fine and back to freaking people out within 72 hours.

■ The trial has been delayed because Michael had to be rushed to the hospital due to the flu. No word yet on his condition, but I bet we can rule out “stable.”

■ You know Whitman’s chocolate? They’ve come out with a special commemorative Michael Jackson candy. It’s lovely, it’s delicious – it’s white chocolate with a nut inside.

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/17/2005 at 11:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Monday - February 14, 2005

Outrageous!  True!  And Funny As Hell!

Chris Rock told what I consider to be the truth.

What do you want to bet that the Hollyweirdo elitists and homosexual crowd will go ape-shit demanding retractions and apologies?

Hell, he should get a “Truth Telling By A Hollywood Star” award for having said that only homosexuals watch the Oscars.  I do not understand why any self-respecting guy would waste several hours of his day watching this pap filled with self-aggrandizing statements and chock-filled with stupid commercials when he could be in the garage building something or reading the excellent articles in Playboy.

How can you argue with a man who says:

“Awards for art are f---ing idiotic.”

I can’t help but wonder though:  he gets asked to host the Academy Awards and then makes the above comment
without anything to show that he turned the host gig down.  This leads me to assume he accepted the invitation especially since the limp-wristed Hollywood set is demanding he be removed as host.  So if he accepted isn’t HE the one calling himself idiotic?

BAH!  Go read it yourself and see.  Maybe I missed something.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/14/2005 at 06:23 AM   
Filed Under: • Celebrities • Hollywood •  
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   Sunday - February 13, 2005

Just Too Weird

We’ve heard about “The Terminator” but what about “The Whizzinator?”

Apparently actor Tom Sizemore is very familiar with one of these false penises.

Hat tip: Joe

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/13/2005 at 07:42 AM   
Filed Under: • Celebrities • Hollywood •  
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   Saturday - February 12, 2005

Billboards?

A couple of weeks back mention was made of an effort to plaster billboards in Hollywood with a message from President Bush thanking them for helping him win.

Needless to say, Hollywood is not pleased.

If you want to see what they look like and want to contribute, click here.

And yes, they have been put up.  I saw a picture at some news site but can no longer find it.  If you have one of an actual billboard in Hollywood, let me know and I will post it.

Thanks to Oldcatman, here’s a picture of one erected.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/12/2005 at 06:52 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Thursday - February 03, 2005

An Excellent Read

I almost did not read this as I am sick and tired of Michael Moore.  But I printed it out and sat down with a cup (or two) of coffee to do so.  I am glad I did.  Lowell Ponte has done a great job pointing out what a hypocrite Moore is.  You’ve heard some of this stuff but Ponte takes you from Moore’s childhood (where the lies began) through 2004.

You’ll find out:

--his agent is the brother of Rahm Emanuel, former operative for Bill Clinton.

--Moore’s parents were affluent, not as “working class” as you’re led to believe by Fatass Moore.  They lived a life of leisure p[aid for by unions

--he’s a quitter who loves to rant and rave at those he disagrees with

--he’s undependable

--he hates capitalism and loves unions but will not hire his own workers at union scale

--he hates guns but his own bodyguards get arrested for unregistered possession (the poor can’t defend themselves but apparently Fatass can afford to hire body guards to protest his lard ass)

--most of his movies are full of inaccuracies

I could go on and on.  This REALLY is a great read.

Conclusion: the guy is a real pus-bag, barking moonbat who needs to be put down like the rabid batshit he is.

The link is printer friendly so hit “print” and enjoy.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/03/2005 at 06:28 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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   Tuesday - February 01, 2005

Narcissistic Bastards!

Hollywood is populated by a bunch of self-idolizing idiots.

It is the only conclusion I can draw from having read that they awarded a 30 year old actor a “LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD!!”

Yep!  DiCaprio got it.  What happens when he gets old?  Better yet, since he got one already can we just kill him now and get it over with?

To show how ridiculous these assfarts are, Jane Russell was beside herself with praise for DiCaprio’s quest of authenticity in preparing to play Howard Hughes.

What was it he did?

Spent a day with her.  ONE DAY!  And she’s about to orgasm over how wonderful that was and how prepared it made him.

These people are sick.

Hey!  God!!  You’re a bit overdue on that earthquake, aren’t you?

One more thing, God.  Remember, if you don’t destroy Hollywood soon you will owe Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

One more thing:  don’t tell anyone in Hollywood this but apparently in England they suspect that cosmetic implants on lips and cheeks may cause humans a form of mad cow disease.

SHHHHHH!!  Don’t tell them!!  Now, to find a doctor who’d go there and offer the service for free!!  Then God would be off the hook for a while.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 02/01/2005 at 06:35 AM   
Filed Under: • Hollywood •  
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