Tuesday - March 02, 2010

slowly sinking

We got hosed again at bowling league. Dammit.

I think we should change the name of our team to “Season’s Best” as that’s what everyone on every team we play seems to roll. I mean, come on already. Is the ENTIRE league full of sandbaggers? It can’t be. Can it?

We were up against one of the lowest performing teams last night. Straight ball rollers. 3 women and a guy, and the guy has been absent for ages, so his “big” 160 average got flatlined for a 150 absentee score. We gave them 87 for handicap, so with him being out they netted 77. And they slaughtered us. One of them had a 110 average, and was throwing 200s. 80 - 90 over, all night. Another one was rolling 50 - 65 over. Geexz. She lofts her little 10 pound ball almost to the arrows, it hits, skids most of the way down the lane, gets about 3 rolls in, and hits the headpin square on. Strike. WTF???

We bowled just a little over average the first game, and lost by 40. We came back as best as we could in game 2; I shot 197 and Mike pulled a 249 from somewhere and we won by 20. We had a poor showing in the 3rd, but they just got better, and creamed us by 150.

We all had a helluva time getting the balls to hook. Oil pattern must have been very long and wide, with lots of carrydown; even when throwing out to the 7 board we weren’t getting much of any turn. Tried going slow, tried putting more spin on the ball, tried going to balls drilled super aggressively. Didn’t work. All sorts of sick leaves, like 2-8-10 and 1-4-9 and the nasty 4-6.

USBC is talking about this Red, White, Blue oil pattern for leagues. If there is only one or two of each pattern per color, that might be a good idea. I’m getting a bit tired of random conditions from week to week, anywhere from bone dry and dirty to a wall to wall flood. It sucks. Even the pros only roll on one of six or seven patterns, and they know what those are in advance. I would rather have a difficult but predictable pattern than the weekly mystery crap.

Posted by Drew458     on 03/02/2010 at 09:47 AM   
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   Monday - January 11, 2010

Curses, Foiled Again

Another bad night for my team at bowling. Another great night for me though.

It didn’t start out that great though. I couldn’t find my line during warm-up. I threw about 10 balls and didn’t make a single mark. But when the games began I cleared my head, relaxed, and just tried not to care. Then I made sure I went as slow as I could go, focused my eyes on the second arrow, and focused my awareness on getting my thumb out at the right time. And by golly, it worked. As my arm swung forward to my offside heel my mind said “thumb. turn. snap. lift” and my hand did exactly that, getting my thumb out, turning my hand towards the 7 pin as my swing went towards the 10 pin; snap your fingers up as the ball rolls out of your hand and lift the arm up while snapping up the elbow to an “answer the phone” position. And the ball sailed out a couple feet, right over the 2nd arrow, spinning like a top laid on it’s side, sliding most of the way down the lane to the break point where it caught traction, turned, and then accelerated. Right into the 1-3 pocket for a smashing big hit. Strike. Then I did it again for the 2nd frame. Boom! Strike! And for the 3rd frame. And the 4th, and the 5th, and the 6th. Six in a row to open the first game. I thought that for the first time I would finally know what a 150 in the 5th frame felt like (300 in 10 frames is a perfect game, but to be perfect at the halfway point you actually need to roll 7 in a row because of the way the scoring works). I was feeling a bit nervous in the 7th, and most of the way through the approach I knew something was a little off. I guess I turned my hand too much and came around the ball, because I threw it so far inside my line that it arced over to dink the 7 pin. Crap. Which gave me “merely” a 141 in the 5th. So instead of freaking out, I just found the zone again, and gently rolled the ball the right way to make the 9 pin spare. I struck again after that, then finished the game with a mixed bag of hits, winding up with a 238. Which for me (168 average) is a damned good game. Our team won the first game by about 50 points.

The folks we played tonight got 28 points worth of handicap from us, but as so often happens, they bowled their seasonal best series against us. I managed a respectable 189 in the 2nd game, but the rest of my team was stuck in flub city. So we got smeared, not only losing that game but losing it by almost 70, so we were behind in pins going into the 3rd. They managed a bit of a rally, but the other team was on fire. Conditions were breaking down as they always do - the oil gets pushed around on the lanes by all the balls rolling over it, and the balls absorb a bit of the oil which causes them to lose a bit of traction - and I was a little slow making an adjustment. I opened with 2 strikes, then Gumped a couple frames until I figured out that I needed to move over a board and throw the ball a little harder. After that I was back on track, but the damage was done. I finished up with a 177, giving me a 604 series; this was only the 2nd 600+ series I’d ever rolled. But the guy on the other team shot a 654 when he finished the 3rd with a 237. And my teammates were sucking wind. Mostly. Ok, my wife finally got it together in the 3rd and pulled out a 160-something, but our team went down in flames again and we finished the night 2-5.

We had a fun night, and I turned teammate Anne onto TheOatmeal.com, because she’ll appreciate the twisted humor there. Especially since she has horses and he has a bit on How To Ride a Pony and one on Why Horses Suck. I read the latest ones today, Printers Were Sent From Hell and Why I’d rather be punched in the Testicles than call Customer Service and they nearly killed me. Perfectly aligns with my juvenile sense of twisted humor and my appreciation of crappy cartoon drawings. You can have lots of fun at TheOatmeal. Be sure to read everything, and check each page for new links at the bottom, because it isn’t always well organized.

Posted by Drew458     on 01/11/2010 at 10:41 PM   
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   Tuesday - December 01, 2009

Practical Tactical

We had a blast at league last night, and wound up winning all 7. This makes 4 weeks in a row that we’ve taken all the points, and should lock in solidly into 4th place for a while.

We’re about a third of the way through the season, and the team points earned are starting to clump. It’s always that way on any good sized league; you get the top 3 to 5 teams that are way out ahead, then a gap, then the upper middle clump, another points gap, the lower middle clump, another gap, then the 3 or 4 teams at the bottom.

We really are a standout team in this league. Quite a few teams are really serious. They all bowl in deadly earnest, hardly speak to the other team, get all stressed out when the oil conditions are difficult, etc. Not us. We’re out there clapping and shouting, cheering the other team on, doing the Happy Pony dance when we get strikes. We have fun. Our opponents have fun when they play us. Too bad leagues doesn’t have the Miss Congeniality award, because we’d win that one hands down. But we also bowl as best as we can, if we need to.

Last night we didn’t need to. We played a not-so-serious team, and they’re mostly beginners. We gave them 57 pins for a handicap, but they were having an off night. So we let ourselves have an off night too, but while our “off” was stable, theirs just got worse over time. No, we weren’t sandbagging it, we just weren’t as focused as we perhaps could have been. We won the first game by 12 pins, then we won the second one by 60 pins. Then our opponents just threw in the towel, and we won the last game by something like 130. All while bowling a little under average.

Negative Tactical bowling is the greatest when it works for you. You win all the points yet your averages go down, so we have a better advantage against next week’s challengers. I guess we could have actually tried to shave points and thrown some gutter balls and 2 pointers, but we aren’t that good. That’s real sandbagging. It’s easy to spot ... watch the team bowl solid marks the first 4 or 5 frames, then suddenly start throwing crap as long as they stay ahead, then pull off solid strikes in the 10th if necessary. There’s also the “rotation” style, where the ‘bagging team has their worst bowlers do the best they can while their stars have a totally disastrous night ... and they still win by just a bit.

That’s not us. No, we had a poor night and the other team had a worse night. So we just convinced ourselves afterwards that we did it on purpose to keep our averages down. We’re subtle that way. Nobody would ever guess that we have a strategy, what with Ann out on the approaches doing cartwheels and Tami talking the ladies on the other team to do the YMCA dance, while Mike and I tell naughty jokes and crack wise. And we’re sober the whole time!

I can’t wait ‘till Pam puts up our latest standing sheets at bowl.com. We’re league 2435.

Freakin Anthony threw an 867 last night. He’s the star bowler of the league. Of the entire alley. Of the whole county. I think he was born on lane 17, and he’s lived and worked his whole life in that place. 299, 289, 279. Boy is just too damn good.

Posted by Drew458     on 12/01/2009 at 09:31 AM   
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   Monday - November 30, 2009

Some bad bowling news for Drew.  Health and Safety deems it “dangerous.” Kid ya not.

So next time Drew posts info on his bowling night, be aware of the danger he faces.  Serious stuff here.

Elf & safety strikes again: £250,000 study to tell us ten-pin bowling is dangerous

By Steve Doughty
30th November 2009
DAILY MAIL

It’s a peril that only a crack team of health and safety experts could have uncovered.

After two years and £250,000, they found that ten-pin bowling alleys up and down the country could be a ‘very dangerous’ environment for families.

They concluded that it was too easy for children or teenagers to run down lanes and get trapped in machinery that sets up the pins - even though there was no record of any such accident having happened.

The bizarre Health and Safety Executive report found that members of the public would be at risk if they walked along the 60-foot lanes to knock over pins by hand.

Its authors even considered ordering every bowling alley to put barriers across lanes. But they were forced to admit defeat - after realising that bowlers must be able to see what they are aiming at.

Their report said: ‘ Because customers need to see the pins and bowling balls entering the machine, managing the risk of access into the machine from the lanes is more difficult.’

Instead they have told operators to fit photoelectric beams to lanes so that pin-setting machines will cut off automatically if anyone trespasses.

John Ashbridge, of The Ten-Pin Bowling Proprietors Association, said: ‘I have been in this industry for 40 years and I have never known any member of the public injured by a bowling pinsetter. I have never heard of anybody going near the pins.’

Mr Ashbridge said he had watched HSE inspectors examining a bowling centre and he found their attempts to detect possible dangers ‘hilarious’.

He added: ‘Some operators have now fitted photoelectric beams. They don’t cause any problems - they don’t stop the machines because nobody ever goes near the pins.’

The HSE inquiry was begun after a technician was crushed to death in 2006 in Barking, East London, when a pin-setting machine was mistakenly left plugged in.

The two-year investigation also concluded that staff must wear earmuffs to mask the noise of balls hitting pins.

An HSE spokesman said: ‘The investigation revealed that the machinery used nationally in bowling alleys did not have adequate safety features.’

Susie Squire, of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: ‘The HSE has overreacted to a one-off tragedy by wasting a fortune of taxpayers’ money producing a pointless, naval-gazing report.’

THE MAIL

Posted by peiper     on 11/30/2009 at 01:34 PM   
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   Monday - November 23, 2009

A night full of surprises

Bowling hasn’t been going so great for me this season. I found my average dropping every week, and my ability to get the ball to do what I wanted getting worse and worse. Cleaning the balls, going over them with a scrubby pad, soaking them in warm water and detergent ... none of that made a difference.

I finally threw in the towel and had the pro shop guy at the alley give them a bake and a resurfacing. Baking is the name of the process where the ball spends an hour or so in a machine called a Rejuvinator, where a small area on the ball is hit with a hot air jet, and then the ball is rotated over an oil absorbing pad from 3M. Modern balls absorb quite a lot of oil, and heat is about the only way you can get the oil out. But it’s a very precise kind of heating; just dipping the ball into boiling water or putting in your own oven is a sure-fire way to make it crack in half. Been there, killed 2 balls already. Not going there again.

Resurfacing is just that. The pro shop has a machine, much like a potter’s wheel, that has the torque to spin the ball around real quick while someone bears down on it with a sanding block. A good resurfacer can sand down a ball in a couple minutes, then sand it back to whatever finish you want, from dull to ultra-shiny.

So a bake and resurface pretty much brings the ball back to like-new condition, and it’s usually good for about a third to half a season of play. Both my balls were turning into duds, so I had it done.

And it works.

I started this season with a 173 book average, and after 12 weeks I’m down to a 162. I threw pretty well the first 2 weeks, which spiked my numbers up to the 195 range. Then the whole thing turned to poop. [ book averages are good only for the first week in this league. Good idea or bad, that’s how it is. ] Tonight I threw a 650 series, almost. 644 or something like that. 203, 248, 193 I think it was. And we won all 7 points handily. Or maybe it was as one of the semi-pro guys on the league said, that the oil pattern was much better tonight. He surmised that the alley had cleaned out their lane cleaning machine. Ok, my team noticed that the back ends were pretty snappy, but there was significant oil out past the 10 board. It seemed to go all the way out to the 5 or 4 board about halfway down the lane. That’s not what I’d call “much better”, especially if you’re an Out & Back kind of roller ( vs a Down & In kind ). No, for once I think our team was operating on at least 3 1/2 cylinders, instead of our usual 1 1/2. So we had a great night, and had a lot of fun with the folks on the other team. That’s what we’re there for anyway. Sure, it was great doing a bit of ass kicking, especially against a team where the match up was just about scratch. 2 pins handicap. And they weren’t bowling poorly tonight either. We were just bowling better. That’s a nice thing to experience. I just hope we can do it again next week.

You know what sucks about throwing an ‘almost 650’? Realizing that doing that means ... with a bit more practice, a lot of control, and a little bit of luck ... maybe I can throw a 700 series. I’ve never done that. Never. Not yet.

Hope springs eternal!

So that was my nice surprise for the night. The two posts under this one were my not so nice surprise. I’ve got to think about this a bit, but I’m liking it less by the minute.

Posted by Drew458     on 11/23/2009 at 11:36 PM   
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   Monday - September 21, 2009

“Everyone knows coyotes have broadband, right? Acme® ISP” (Drew)

everyone knows coyotes have broadband, right? Acme® ISP

Reminds me of an old, a very old routine by Burns and Allen. circa 1930’s and again on TV early days.
Gracie upset over missing dog. George suggests she put an add in the lost and found and Gracie says, “Don’t be silly George. Dogs can’t read.”
George turns to camera. 

I wouldn’t have started Monday off exactly this way but couldn’t resist after reading Drews post.
Note to Drew.  You need to join a union as I see by comments of hard work performed on behalf of capitalist Rich Lady, she is taking unfair advantage of working class proletariat but keep chin up comrade as come the revolution we all drink Borscht. 

OH ... Vital info for conservatives.
Apparently we’ve all been misinformed re. Obama.  Turns out he’s one of us in spite of health care thing. Yeah really.

Would I lie? All I know is what I read in the paper and in the paper Obama says, “I’m a Conservative.”

The article goes on to explain that European Cons talk to him and say they do not understand why Americans are calling him a commie or a socialist as, by their standards, Obama is a Conservative.

which says something doesn’t it, about cons. over here.

Posted by peiper     on 09/21/2009 at 02:42 AM   
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   Wednesday - August 26, 2009

Thirty Two Fifty

Last post for summer bowling league. Winter league starts Monday!


We went into the final night in 3rd place, 7 points over the 4th place team whom we played.

The hard partying college girls, that team that gets the huge handicaps from everyone, was in 2nd place, 2 points over us. The previous week they had been in 1st, but the “PITAs”, a team made up of young folks who work at the bowling alley (there were 2 of those teams on this little league), beat them 5-2 last week to take the lead. So we had a chance to take 2nd - if the girls got shut out and we won at least one game, then we would take 2nd because our Total Pins count was higher. If they won one (2 points) and we won two or more (4 - 7 points) then we would beat them just on points.

The team we played last week, the one made up of semi-pro ringers (who all also work at the bowling alley), dropped all the way to 5th place because of the beat down we delivered then. hahaha!

So we were slotted to play team Just Us. We have a lot of fun with those guys, and it’s usually just about a heads up, no handicap competition. We got 12 pins in handicap last night, and both teams were out to win.

We bowled really well the first team. I started off with 5 strikes in a row, left an open in the 6th, then struck again in the 7th, and finished with a 211, nearly 40 pins over average. Our anchor, Rex, started game 1 with 6 strikes in a row and finished with a 238. Our ladies did well too, coming in a bit over average. But the old guys and Air Doug, the team we were playing, had their game on. They also bowled really well. So it went back and forth the whole game. At one point they were up 40. At another point we were up 64. But in the end we won. By 6 pins.

The college girls won their first game too. The Pressure!! We had to win another game and they had to lose from that point forward if our team was going to take 2nd. But there was no collusion at all from our competition. Which is as it should be. There were on fire. Well, as on fire as you can be when it’s Old Guy Bowling. Which is a really slow approach, a soft swing, no bending, no super strong releases that rip the cover off the ball and rev it up like a dynamo. Just walk forward, give the ball a flick and drop it. But drop it in the right spot, and flick it just so every time. And that gets the job done.

Our ladies did even better in game 2. My wife threw in the 170s, a 30 over game for her. I was very tired; I’d been up since 5am moving our stuff all day. But I still managed to roll a 185, a decent 10 over game. And Rex threw a 247. But the old guys were cooking, and for once Air Doug was NOT caving in to pressure, or having a fit about his thumb fit, or even losing his marbles because the hand dryer wasn’t working. And he was still high on his 687 series from last week, so he was confident. The best we could do was pace them. They took the lead after the 5th frame, and as hard as we tried to close the gap, they wound up winning by 43 pins.

The college girls got smeared. They were bowling really well, throwing their best games of the season, but the PITAs rolled an 800 game. So we still had a chance. But we had to trample in game 3 so we would finish with 4 or 5 points for the night.

We did what we could. At one point in game 3, maybe around the 4th frame, we were up 47 pins. Then our ladies faltered. And I wasn’t having a great game in the early frames either, and Rex kept leaving 10 pins. Changing lane conditions; time to make an adjustment. Improvise, adapt, overcome! But our attempt at a rally didn’t happen, and the old guys were charging. They were striking left and right, and getting spares when given the chance, while we were leaving open frames. We did manage to get all strikes in the 5th frame, which won us the Beer Frame, and that was actually the only Beer Frame won on this league all season. Nice for us. Miller Lite for me ("free" only covers the cheap beer) and ice cream for the rest of my team. I finished with a 176, only a couple pins over average. Rex threw a 188, which is a bad game for him. Icky low scores from our ladies. And the old guys pulled a 700 game. So we got beat. And we wound up 2-5 for the night.

The college girls lost their third game as well. I didn’t notice the score.

So in the end, the final standings were exactly the same as they were going into the night. PITAs took the win, the party chicks held onto 2nd, we finished 3rd, and team Just Us was in 4th. Plus all the other lower finishing teams, who cares?

And our big prize money?

$32.50 per person. Woo hoo.

Summer league is just for fun. Winter league is where the big money is.

Posted by Drew458     on 08/26/2009 at 07:45 AM   
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   Saturday - August 22, 2009

Free Bowling For Everyone

Woo hoo! Free Bowling!!

The USBC is giving away a free game of bowling to anybody and everybody. The want the whole country to stop by their local lanes on Saturday September 5th and give it a try.

Coupons can be downloaded from here. Fill out the form, download it, print one per person, and go. That’s all there is to it.

Ok, you’ll have to rent a pair of bowling shoes if you don’t have any.




Well, there is an easier way ...

You could just print this. It’s the actual coupon, full size and in full color.

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by Drew458     on 08/22/2009 at 05:10 PM   
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   Tuesday - August 18, 2009

One Whuppin, Delivered

It was the first position round tonight at bowling league. After the last 3 weeks of victories, we were tied for 3rd with that team of ringers, although we were ahead in total pins. So we played them tonight, and gave them 12. And then we preceded to destroy them. We won all 3 games handily, by 46, 85, and 117 pins.

I bowled pretty well, going 185 for the first game and 211 for the second, and was striking really well into the 3rd game. Then I threw the ball wrong and bruised my thumb. Man, that hurts. So I switched to my lighter ball, but the damage was done, and I finished with a 158. But I went one on one with their super bowler, the kid who grew up in the bowling alley. I matched him strike for strike more than halfway through each game, and was actually ahead of him for 8 frames of game 2. But he struck out the last 3 frames, jumping from a 145 in the 7th to finish with a 235, against my 211. He’s that good, and is the anchor and then some for that team. But tonight he just couldn’t put it together. But we could. I could. I did, and I could see it driving him crazy. And that makes it all worth it.

So, does this 4 week run of victories, 26-2, lock us into 2nd for the finals next week? I’m not really sure. I think we may have to play these guys again next week, battling it out for 3rd place. But we’re up 7 points and lots of pins, so if we do have to do that, and we win even one game, then it’s a lock. And maybe, if we stomp them again, we can sneak into 2nd. That would be nice, not that there is a trophy or any real difference in prize money. It’s all rinky-dink, cuz it’s summer league. Still, it’s nice to come out ahead in the end.

Posted by Drew458     on 08/18/2009 at 09:38 PM   
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   Tuesday - August 11, 2009

Movin’ On Up, finally

We took all 7 points again tonight in bowling league. We won all 7 last week too, and 5 out of 7 the week before that I think. So my team is slowly floating up from nearly last place into the top ranks.

Tonight we gave the other team 20 in handicap, and one of their guys didn’t show. So 10 off his average for the absentee score. Then we bowled pretty well in games 1 and 2, winning by 60 or more each time. Then, to our amazement, 2 of the 3 people on the other team suddenly had a “family emergency” and they were gone. Huh? Whatever. So that left them just one active bowler, and 2 is the minimum legal lineup in this league. Or “one bowler and a vacancy; a vacancy will count as a valid bowler” - but let’s not go into that nonsense again. We checked with the alley staff, they checked the bylaws, and it was a forfeit. So I explained it properly to everyone: “Your team does not have a legal lineup for this game, so a forfeit situation exists. That means your team has given up the opportunity to win both the game and total wood. Our team still has the opportunity, but to do so we have to bowl at least as well as our team average minus 10 pins per bowler.” And we did. The guy on the other team stayed, and bowled his game anyway. It will count towards his running average, but that’s it.

This was the last week of scheduled bowling. Now we enter into the last 2 weeks, which are position rounds. Which seems a bit silly, given that their are only 8 teams on the league, but that’s how the rules are written. So winning all 7 tonight will move us up, perhaps as high as 3rd place. Which means we’ll play the 4th place team, and depending on how everyone bowls next week, may get us a shot at first place.

It would be nice to win a league, even a dinky one. But it doesn’t matter. Even the prize money is tiny; I think the purse for first is $72 per person or something silly like that. It’s just for fun.

I think I’ll put my balls out in the car tomorrow, to toast up in the sun and burn the oil out of them.



I think winter league starts the last Monday of this month. Yikes, where has the summer gone?

Posted by Drew458     on 08/11/2009 at 08:36 PM   
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   Tuesday - August 04, 2009

Strike!

President Obama turns 48 years old on Tuesday, and although Press Secretary Robert Gibbs would not give details on any plans for the event, he did suggest the First Family may have had some early celebrations at Camp David last weekend.

“I know the president spent a little time with some friends over the weekend at Camp David,” said Gibbs, “playing basketball and having dinner and bowling.”

Secretary Gibbs reports Mr. Obama bowled a 144 with three strikes and a nine in the last four throws.

“I told the president, ‘Look, if you’d have done this in Pennsylvania, my life would have been a little easier last spring,’” Gibbs joked of Obama’s bowling game in the lead up to the Pennsylvania primary. Then-Senator Obama’s score last April, a whopping 37, provided teasing for a candidate trying to project the common-man image.

Bowling has been somewhat of a thorn in the side of the President since taking office as well.

Joking about his now famous bad bowl, he said it was “like watching the Special Olympics” during an appearance on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.” The President since apologized for his remarks.

M’kay! Seems like Fearless Reader is getting the hang of the game? Um, maybe, maybe not. Going X XX9 in the last 2 frames is worth 59 points. Which means, with a 144 total, he had an 85 in the 8th. Which means ... he still sucks. 85 in the 8th implies TWO MARKS in EIGHT FRAMES. Which is random chance, not skill.

9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 = 72

9 X 9 9 9 9 9 9 = 82

/ 9 9 9 9 9 / 9 = 90

9 / 9 9 X 9 X 9 = 102 (I’m assuming 9-0 for each frame following a spare. That’s Best Case.)

And this is not being reported as his average, just what he managed to score in one game. Ok, he’s a beginner, but golly gosh a roni, don’t you think the White House could have Norm Duke, or Walter Ray Williams Jr, or even Parker Bohn III stop by for a bit of a visit and a lesson or two? Personally I’d prefer to get lessons from Carolyn Dorin Ballard, who recently threw 20 strikes in a row at a tournament, but I’m sure Michelle would pitch a fit, even if her husband Daryl Ballard came along.

******************************



We got beat tonight, badly. Ok, we managed to win the 3rd game, but I think that the team full of sandbaggers we played threw it on purpose to keep their averages down. They’re out in front by quite a number of points, so they can afford to go soft in game 3. Mofos were chuckin 235s and 228s with 185 and 194 running averages? As if. And 2 out of 4 of them work, live, and grew up in that bowling alley? Puh-lease. I’ve bowled with little Ricky’s dad for years, and I’ve seen little Ricky throw at least 3 300 games in the past year alone. NO WAY this kid has a 196 average. Unless by a regular miracle he can go to league and bowl 238, 245, 122 all the time.

But I guess it isn’t impossible. The oil pattern tonight was whack. WTF kind of pattern can you lay down for non-PBA Experience league that gives just about no hook for anything other than a deep, super revvy throw to the 2 board, for games 1 and 2, but for game 3 it hooks like Sunday afternoon no matter where you throw the ball? I wound up standing 7 boards to the left in game 3 and the ball was still going Brooklyn and beyond. Huh? What the Eff? And that was my long ball. My short ball? I put it away. By game 3 I could not roll it to hit to the right of the 4 pin. COULD NOT.  Throwing it straight at the 10 would still break to the headpin. It was Suddenly Sunday. [ for non-bowlers, Sunday afternoon lane conditions are as “burnt” and “toasty” as they get. 8 million children have been throwing balls down the alleys all weekend, and there is no oil left anywhere. Even the carry down oil has been carried right off the lanes. It’s almost impossible to throw a ball with a controlled hook. The thing gets traction right off the foul line, and hooks insanely before even the middle of the lane. If you bowl in leagues, you don’t bother trying to practice on Sunday afternoon. It’s a waste of time. ] So these kids, power hookers, crankers all, were overhooking badly. And their only recourse was to throw more and more to the outside ... and there’s a hungry gutter out there, just waiting.

Still, we rather sucked. And I’m getting tired of rather sucking. I’d like to be in a league with a stable oil pattern, just so I could learn to bowl properly. I don’t want to have to make such an enormous adjustment every week that it feels like a whole new method of throwing the ball.

But ... my worst game was still better than Obama’s best ever. Big whup. Maybe I can coin a new bowling phrase. Something that’s even worse than the “shit house” 111 score. A really, really bad game ... would be Presidential.

Posted by Drew458     on 08/04/2009 at 10:09 PM   
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   Wednesday - July 22, 2009

Skunked Again

We got beaten with a stick at league last night. Lost it 5-2. We played that team of hard partying college girls again. They’re all very nice to look at, yum, but they can’t bowl for shiz or salsa. So we gave up something like 140 pins in handicap. And, of course, they had their best night ever, while we had one of our worst. That’s our luck! It’s something like the Curse of the Bambino. Whatever. I had one game a few points above average, and the other 2 games I stunk. My 3 teammates did pretty much the same thing. But I wore an arch support in my shoes so today my foot doesn’t hurt very much.

I’m off, have to drive across the state to give a window cleaning estimate to a cute rich lady in a great big house, plus the barn and outbuildings. Looks like great money and maybe a week’s work if I get the bid.

Posted by Drew458     on 07/22/2009 at 08:33 AM   
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   Monday - June 01, 2009

Blogging Break

I won’t be around much for the next two or three days. I’ve got a nice big window job over on the other side of the state. So I’ll be off making money ... which will flow right through my checking account and out the other side to pay some bills. That’s life!

Since I’ll be getting up around 5am tomorrow to be on the job site well before 7am, and I’ll probably be working until 6:30, then trying to zoom back across the state in time to vote in the primary ... I won’t be bowling this week on my Tuesday night summer league. Instead I went and pre-bowled this afternoon. And I took a pretty big chance: I used a “new” ball without throwing any practice games with it. But it isn’t completely new, just suddenly different. Even after I had it resurfaced, my Ebonite Total NV was still going really long, so I had the alley guy drill a balance hole in it. A balance hole can actually be more like an “unbalance hole”, because it takes a bit of weight off the lighter side of the ball, which makes the heavy side relatively heavier, which makes it hook more. [ While bowling balls are round, they are not evenly balanced. These days they have computer designed weight blocks in them, which gives the ball an asymmetric balance ... which means it turns to the inside when you roll it. And if you put a bit of turn on it yourself when you roll it ( what bowlers call “rev” ) then it’s going to turn quite abruptly at some point in it’s roll. You want that to happen! ] So I took 4 practice throws with this ball, 2 per lane, and got 4 strikes in a row. Good enough! So I did my pre-bowling with the NV, and threw 182-226-198 for a 606. Which means I threw my 2nd 600 series in a row, after last week’s 660. Which I have never, ever, never done before. Pretty cool I think. And, since last week’s series shot my average up to 183, my hope is that this 19 over average, on average, series will be enough of a boost so that my team can beat the other team this week, in at least 2 of the 3 games. We’re playing that group of drunken college girls, back for another year of boys, booze, and bowling. And even though they are quite cute they still rather suck, which is why my team is giving them a 179 pin handicap, even though we have a vacant position on our team.  Go team!

In other toothsome news, I never thought it was possible for any of these “internet models” to do their schtick, sans fabrique total, and not lose their innocence. I think I’ve been proven wrong. Yum. Talk about cute! It doesn’t get much better than this.

Posted by Drew458     on 06/01/2009 at 06:00 PM   
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   Tuesday - May 26, 2009

We Wrung The Ringers

What, you didn’t think I’d be taking the summer off from bowling league, did you? Hella no!

Ok, so it looks like our 4th guy isn’t going to make it. So our team will be myself, my wife, and our pal Rex from the Monday winter league. Rex’s team was ahead in that league the whole season, but lost the last 2 games to the team full of tactical bowlers (sandbagging wringers) who snuck in, caught up, and clenched the crown right at the finish line. 3 out of 4 folks on that winter league team are on a team on our summer league.

We played them tonight. And they were up to their old tricks, bowling just poorly enough to look like they deserved the 49 pin handicap we had to give them. And then it blew up in their faces. The weather was cool tonight, and on the edge of rain. That tends to make the lane oil stickier or something. Whatever, it turned out to be a great night for me and my wife, and a poor night for them. When they needed to turn it on, and finish the games off with strikes, they just couldn’t do it. And I could.

We took all 3 games handily. By 53, 75, and 89 pins I think. And I had an awesome night, throwing my first 600+ series in ... 250 league games? I can’t remember, but I know I didn’t roll a single 600 all season long in either league. I threw a 660 tonight, well over the expected 483 my average would indicate. By the middle of the 2nd game I was starting to throw poorly. When that happens my hook ball flattens out and just becomes a scewball, because when my arm tires my hand comes out late and tends to go around the ball instead of through it. And of course that means I throw way inside my line. But that inside line screwball went straight to the top of the rack, and I kept right on striking. 1st game was a 224, 2nd was a 216, third game was a 220; more than 175 over average for the series. I’m happy! The Mrs. threw one in the 190s, one a little above average, and one just under. So she had a decent night too. Rex, who is always anchor, needed us to carry him tonight. And we did. Fair is fair; we’re a team and he’s carried us plenty of times in the past.

So we had a good time, and after 3 weeks we’re solidly in 1st place.

Now I’ll get her to study a little more and hit the hay. That test of hers is Thursday at 8am, so she only has a little more time left for the books.

And I was also able to get past the tired bit, just by keeping my head down and making a big slow and low lunge. Be smooth, with a big follow through. And the ball rev up and roll down, and down, and down, and down, and then snap right over to the 1-3 pocket. BOOM!  hee hee, bowling is fun when you don’t screw up!

Posted by Drew458     on 05/26/2009 at 09:23 PM   
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