Sunday - December 24, 2006

Sunday Funnies

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/24/2006 at 01:01 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Saturday - December 23, 2006

Reuters Doesn’t Trust Anyone

Reuters news agency is a waste of time. First they hire Arab photographers who photoshop the war in Lebanon and now they offer us this “fair and balanced, unbiased coverage” from Afghanistan ....

U.S. Kills Top Taliban Leader
_{KABUL (Reuters) - Sat Dec 23, 2006 9:59am ET163}

U.S. forces said on Saturday they had killed the Taliban’s military chief in southern Afghanistan, who had close links to Osama bin Laden and was heir to the rebel leadership. Akhtar Mohammad Osmani was the most senior leader killed yet and was targeted in a region where the insurgency is at its bloodiest, a military spokesman said. The Taliban denied he was dead.

Osmani and two other guerillas were killed in an air strike on their car on an isolated desert road on Tuesday, spokesman for the U.S.-led coalition force, Colonel Tom Collins, said in Kabul. “Mullah Osmani is the highest ranking Taliban leader that we’ve ever killed,” he said. “His death is very significant and will hit the Taliban’s operations.”

The Taliban said Osmani, anointed by the group’s leader, Mullah Mohammad Omar, as his heir in 2001, was alive. “We strongly deny this. He is not present in the area where American forces are claiming to have killed him,” commander Mullah Hayat Khan told Reuters by telephone. “The American and NATO forces from time to time make such false claims. It’s just propaganda against the Taliban.”

Then Reuters gives us the punchline ....

Neither the U.S. or Taliban comments could be independently verified.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 03:43 PM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias •  
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Busted!

The only thing worse than an annoying spammer is a for-real crook. Combine the two and you have a Nigerian Scam, the most evil lifeform on the planet. Even more evil than IslamoNazis. The Nigerians send out millions of internet fishing hooks trying to catch a sucker and occasionally they succeed (Reference: P.T. Barnum - “one born every minute").

It does my heart good to see one of these sleazy, bat-shit boneheads get nabbed and put away. This is a great Christmas present for all of us. The only downside is the feds only managed to catch the foot-soldier (also known as “gopher"). The two heads of this scheme are still safely back in Nigeria. DAMN!

On the flip side of this crime story, I think we need to kick these two bothers here in Missouri out of the state - perhaps to Ill-Annoys. You can’t live in the “Show Me State” and get taken in by these idiots ....

Online Scammer Pleads Guilty In Federal Court
_{(ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH) - 12/22/2006}

A Nigerian man who helped cheat two Jefferson County brothers out of $115,000 pleaded guilty in St. Louis this week in a rare U.S.-based prosecution of a popular Internet-based fraud.

Femi Ikuopenikan, 35, who lived in Houston before his arrest, pleaded guilty in federal court Thursday of conspiracy to defraud the U.S.

The scammers Ikuopenikan worked for had set up an unauthorized Internet-based bank called Hallmark Trust Financial, and in 2003 convinced one of the brothers, referred to in court only as “W.O.,” that he could earn $6.7 million simply by transferring some money to the bank, according to an affidavit by FBI Agent Derek Schoon.

The other brother, “D.O.,” eventually became involved as well, according to court testimony. The fraud is commonly known as the “Nigerian scam” or “419 fraud,” for a section of the Nigerian criminal code. Victims are told that for a small payment of taxes, customs fees or expenses, they can earn millions helping government officials or diplomats spirit money out of the country.

Officials estimate that victims may be losing hundreds of millions of dollars a year this way. There are also many variations, but they all operate on the same principle: victims send thousands of dollars overseas and get nothing but embarrassment in return.

The cases are rarely prosecuted in Nigeria, because the government has little sympathy for “victims” who participate under the assumption that they are defrauding its government. U.S. prosecutions are rare because the scammers operate mainly from overseas and conceal their identities. Ikuopenikan was just a foot soldier, defense lawyer Richard Sindel said.

The Jefferson County brothers were becoming suspicious of the scheme so the scammers recruited Ikuopenikan when he went back to Nigeria for a wedding, Sindel said. Ikuopenikan was supposed to give the scammers more legitimacy by pretending to be a diplomat coming to St. Louis to deliver the money.

Ikuopenikan had the misfortune to try to get more money out of the brothers when the FBI was already involved, court documents show. He was arrested in Houston, but fled to Canada after being released on bond and was returned to the U.S. Last month. Ikuopenikan’s two laptop computers contained e-mails suggesting he was involved in “numerous” other, similar schemes, Schoon’s affidavit says.

Ikuopenikan could face up to five years in prison and a fine up to $250,000 when he is sentenced in February, but will likely get two years or less in prison, according to court documents.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 02:57 PM   
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Christmas Gift Idea #2

Here I sit in ragged clothes, freezing to death because we’re out of coal. And Tiny Tim is coming down with a fever. I type and type on this rusty old 486 PC and monochrome green screen monitor. I can’t afford anything better. Late at night I go walking out along the roads and collect discarded soft drink cans and sell them to recyclers for a few pennies.

I live on a box of crackers a week and sometimes a can of vienna sausage when I can find one in the dumpster. It’s a hard life out here in the blogosphere keeping you fine folks entertained. I do it because I love all of you so much. You are such wonderful, beautiful people that I feel compelled to endure the cold and starvation just so I can bring a smile to your face and keep you up to date. I love you all.

Yes, day in and day out I suffer and sacrifice for you, dear readers. I drag myself out each morning from under the newspapers I use as a blanket on the park bench where I sleep. Coughing up blood from the severe case of tuberculosis I am saddled with, I make my way to the home where my sainted mother lies on her death bed. After consoling her, I trudge to the blog office and try to spread a little love and cheer to all.

All I’m asking is that you please dig deep into your pockets and drop a few pennies into the offering cup. It is so little to ask. Please help out a poor blogger today. Your gift will not go unrewarded. As long as I can still breathe, I will continue to grind the organ while the monkey dances here for you every day. God bless you all and may God have mercy on Tiny Tim ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 09:25 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-Stuff •  
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Road To Somalia

All hell is about to break loose in the Horn Of Afirca. But first, a little background ....

In 1991 dictator Mohammed Siad Barre was overthrown and the country fell into total chaos with fighting between seven or eight warlords for control. An interim government was appointed and support was provided by the UN. In the latter part of 1992, President Bush (41) tried to help hold the country together with aid and transport for Pakistani troops who comprised the main UN peacekeeping force.

In 1993, the UN asked the US to take over military operations and President Clinton sent in the troops. Then in October 1993, the Black Hawk Down incident took place and after seeing American soldiers bodies dragged through the streets on CNN, Clinton got cold feet and pulled all troops out. It was the wrong war in the wrong place at the wrong time and a decision was made to cut-and-run. All US troops were out by mid-1995.

Oddly enough, John Kerry and the NY TIMES didn’t object to the intervention in Somalia and praised President Clinton for his wisdom while Secretary of Defense Les Aspin took the blame and resigned.

In recent years, a radical Islamic group, the Islamic Courts, has taken control of most of the country with the interim government boxed up in one small corner of the country next to Ethiopia. Ethiopia is providing aid and military advisers to the interim government as a sort of buffer between them and the Islamic militants because (1) Ethiopia is mostly Christian and (2) North of Ethiopia is Islamic-dominated Sudan and the holocaust in Darfur. They’re caught between a rock and a hard place.

Which brings us up to current events. Oh, did I forget to mention that Ethiopia has one of the most advanced armies and air force in Africa with thousands of tanks and jet fighters. They are being challenged by a ragtag “army” of teenage boys armed with AK-47’s and led by older warlords who have no qualms about throwing kids into the meat grinder. To further complicate matters, Islamic mercenaries are arriving on the beaches of Mogadishu in droves.

Like I said ... the Horn Of Africa is about to explode ....

In the Third Day of Fighting in Somalia,
Worries of a Sharp Escalation by Ethiopian Forces
_{ZANZIBAR, Tanzania (NY TIMES) — December 23, 2006}

Any hope of a quick peace in Somalia vanished in a burst of artillery shells on Friday, as fighting between rival forces raged for a third straight day. Residents of Baidoa, the seat of the internationally recognized transitional government, said they saw columns of Ethiopian tanks chugging toward the front lines, heightening worries that Somalia’s internal problems could soon become regional ones.

Meanwhile, residents in Mogadishu, the battle-scarred traditional capital and the base of Somalia’s powerful Islamist movement, said they saw sailboats packed with foreign mercenaries landing on the city’s beaches. According to United Nations officials, the transitional government, with the help of thousands of Ethiopian troops, has inflicted heavy losses on the Islamists, who rely on teenage boys to do much of their fighting. On Friday, the fighting was concentrated in towns ringing Baidoa, where witnesses said bodies were piling up in the streets.

As the two sides continued to blast each other with machine guns and artillery, an exodus began, with thousands of residents from the battle zone squeezing into aged trucks with pots, pans and sacks of clothes and fleeing to safer areas. Ethiopia has acknowledged that it has dispatched several hundred military advisers to help the transitional government repel the Islamists. But on Friday, Ethiopian officials continued to deny that their troops were engaged in combat.

“Tanks? What tanks?” said Zemedkun Tekle, spokesman for Ethiopia’s Information Ministry. “We have not sent any heavy arms into Somalia. Such talk is just propaganda to stir up the people.” The realities of waging war in a desperately poor country are setting in. At a hospital in Burhakaba, a town near Baidoa, a doctor stood in a filthy waiting room crowded with wounded and listed all the things he did not have: “No X-ray machines, no operating tables, no nothing.”

Islamist leaders have tried to frame the escalating conflict as a nationalist struggle, one aimed at evicting Ethiopian troops, whom they call infidel invaders. While Somalia is almost purely Muslim, neighboring Ethiopia has a strong Christian identity, even though it is actually about half Muslim. The two countries are longtime rivals and have fought over contested border areas before.

All schools in the Islamist-controlled areas have been closed indefinitely so more young people can be funneled to the front. On Friday, recruitment centers were swarming with teenage boys begging for guns. In Mogadishu, mosques blared out a call for retired soldiers to lend their expertise to the new jihad. Ethiopia’s Foreign Ministry issued a statement late on Friday warning the Islamists to end their “hostile anti-Ethiopian activities. The situation in Somalia has turned from bad to worse,” the statement said. “Ethiopia has been patient so far. There is a limit to this.”

Ethiopia has the most powerful military in the region, and many analysts fear that Ethiopia may be only days away from unleashing its helicopter gunships and jet fighters. Somalia has been mired in crisis since 1991, when the central government collapsed, setting off a long, nasty interclan war. While the United Nations and donor countries have struggled to get a new government on its feet, a grass-roots movement of Islamic courts has steadily gained power.

The Islamist movement defeated the last of Mogadishu’s warlords in June and immediately restored a sense of law and order unheard of in the capital for 15 years. Then the Islamists began pushing outward, eventually reaching the outskirts of Baidoa, which their troops are now attacking from two sides. The transitional government, meanwhile, has never been popular and its leaders spend much of their time outside Somalia. American officials have said that if it were not for Ethiopian protection, the transitional government would have fallen months ago.

The fighting began near Baidoa on Wednesday, as European diplomats were meeting with leaders from both sides in an effort to strike a peace deal. The diplomats were initially upbeat. But as the fighting has intensified, the diplomats have become more pessimistic, saying that the rank-and-file Islamists seem bent on war even if their leaders are conciliatory.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 08:16 AM   
Filed Under: • Africa • RoPMA •  
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You Can Run - But You Can’t Hide

Two things struck me about this new “instant death” missile: (1) In it’s final test flight, it hit 7,000 mph (Mach 10) and (2) It only has a range of 600 miles (or so they say). Now, with speeds like that you could conceivably hit a target anywhere on Earth in an hour or less - if you could get enough fuel in it. My guess, based on what I saw of the model specs, is that they could expand the length by about two extra feet (making it 14 feet in length) and you’d have the range to have Osama Bin Laden taken out in less than less than an hour, no matter where you fired it from. Five minutes or less if you fired it from Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean.

Quick response? More like instant death. The enemy wouldn’t know what hit them - especially if you loaded this missile up with a nuclear warhead. Now we’re talking real projection of power. No mess, no fuss. Push a button, go get coffee and come back in time to watch the fireworks via satellite. Yep, this ought to scare the bejeezus out of any aggressor. All we’d need then is a leader with the balls to use it. Can we resurrect Teddy Roosevelt now? I think we finally have his “big stick”. Mheh-heh ...

With an angled nose, flaps in the middle and an inlet on the underbelly, the device looks like a cross between a spaceship and a futuristic cruise missile. It’s designed to go nearly seven times faster than a Tomahawk — a flight from the Arabian Sea to eastern Afghanistan would take 20 minutes — and destroy targets with its own kinetic energy. Test flights are scheduled for 2008.

The pressure, drag and high temperatures associated with hypersonic speeds (typically, greater than Mach 5, or 3600 mph) used to be considered too extreme for an aircraft to handle in a controlled way. Only ballistic missiles and spacecraft burning rocket fuel, shooting into space and roaring back to Earth, could go that fast.

What the X-51 does is to turn some of the most brutal effects of hypersonic flight to its advantage. Take shock waves, for example. Bursting through the air at a hypersonic rate produces a train of waves, one after the other, which can drag down an aircraft. But the X-51 is a “wave rider,” with a sharp nose shaped to make the waves break at precisely the right angle. All of the pressure is directed beneath the missile, lifting it up. The shock waves also compress the air to help fuel the X-51’s combustion process.

The craft is the same size and shape as a Joint Air-to- Surface Standoff Missile, so it can be attached to a B-52 or fighter jet. It runs on standard JP-7 jet fuel, not on rocket fuel, so it fits in neatly with the military’s existing logistical chain. The X-51 is made from a fairly standard nickel alloy, not from exotic materials. And the advanced engine technology is very real. In 2004, NASA broke speed records while testing its X-43A, a precursor to the X-51 (see “Breakthrough Awards 2005,” Nov. 2005). In a final test flight, the 12-ft.-long aircraft hit 7000 mph — nearly Mach 10. In other words, the X-51 is not just some lab experiment; it’s being designed from the start to deploy. “I’ve got tremendous confidence in it working,” the Air Force’s Mark J. Lewis says.

That doesn’t mean the X-51 will be in competition with a conventional Trident. It will have a range of only 600 nautical miles. And it first needs to be lifted into the air by a plane, then accelerated by a rocket-fueled booster before its hypersonic engine kicks in. But if the 2008 test flight is a success, the X-51 will be the first weapon other than a ballistic missile to fly at hypersonic speeds.

-- Popular Science

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 03:23 AM   
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Weekend Eye Candy

The weekend arrives again. None too soon. I’m beat, my head hurts, my back hurts and my eyes are sore. It’s time for a little medicine for the eyeballs, guys. One of the nicest things about life here in the Midwest is the bumper crop of healthy, good-lookin’ womenfolk and where else can you go to get a sample of these lovely ladies than our local colleges and universities. Around these parts that means the Big 12 Conference. From Texas to Iowa and Colorado to Missouri, here are the Gals Of The Big Twelve Conference. Choose your favorite ... college (I’ve got dibs on Nebraska) and cheer them on ....

(Warning: NSFW)

GET ME OUT OF HERE ...

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 02:32 AM   
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Saturday Silliness

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/23/2006 at 01:50 AM   
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   Friday - December 22, 2006

Through The Looking Glass

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/22/2006 at 05:34 PM   
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Christmas Gift Idea #3

I’ve almost finished our Christmas Gift countdown and if any of you ratbags out there thought I was going to forget the troops, you are hereby demoted and placed on KP duty for a month.

See these smiling Marine faces below? Do you want to keep them smiling? Or had you rather I just come beat you senseless? Good! Now get off your sorry, maggot butts and go send a gift to these wonderful guys and gals.

I’ve even provided you with a list of good places to start shopping. If you know of any others, drop me a line or post it in the comments. That is all. Carry on.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/22/2006 at 03:38 PM   
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What Is Not A Penis?

I’m sorry but this case is almost as ridiculous as the case against O.J. - for the opposite reason. There have been way too many uncertainties in the DA’s case since the beginning. I find it hard to sympathize with a bunch of pampered college jocks but in this case I have to make an exception. The DNA didn’t match, the other dancer didn’t tell the same story and many other inconsistencies have led me to believe Nifong was on a witch hunt from the beginning.

Now he’s starting to back off on the charges because the accuser can’t be sure it was a penis that “penetrated” her - if she was even penetrated at all. When is a penis not a penis? Regardless of whether they go to jail on assault charges, the lives of these three boys are ruined forever. Their stupidity in having a drunken, sophomoronic frat party was a bad move in the first place but is the price too high?

It’s too bad the whole damn Duke lacrosse team didn’t just hop into a white Ford Bronco with their passports and guns and try to run away when charges were first filed. If they had, I’d have less trouble believing the story of a two-bit stripper who doesn’t know the difference between a penis and ... whatever ....

Rape Charges Dropped in Duke Case
_{DURHAM, N.C. Dec. 22 — December 22, 2006}

The district attorney today dropped rape charges against three former Duke University lacrosse players, but plans to go forward with sexual assault and kidnapping charges, his office said today.

Michael B. Nifong, the Durham district attorney, made the decision after learning on Thursday that the woman who complained of rape could not be sure that she had been penetrated with a penis, a distinction that would determine whether what happened to her meets the legal definition of forcible rape in North Carolina.

When she was interviewed on Thursday by an investigator from the district attorney’s office, the woman said she was penetrated from behind while she was bent over with her face toward the floor, but did not know with what, according to a person close to the investigation who would only speak on condition of anonymity.

Penetration with an object is considered sexual assault, not rape, officials said. There also is no D.N.A. evidence found on the woman from any of the accused men, investigators have said. “With the absence of D.N.A. and her not knowing what was going on, it’s the right thing to do and it probably makes the rest of the case stronger,” the source said.

The three former players, David F. Evans, Collin Finnerty and Reade W. Seligmann, have vigorously denied any guilt and said they had no sexual contact with their accuser. The woman, a 28-year-old African American student at North Carolina Central University, has said the three men raped her on March 13 in a bathroom at a Duke lacrosse team party where she was hired to perform as a stripper.

The case, with its various legal twists and turns, has become mired in issues of race, sex and privilege, and has attracted legions of followers nationally, from alumni to bloggers and activists for the black community who are taking sides with either the men or their accuser.

In October, the three talked to the CBS News program “60 Minutes” about a case that has split the Durham community and confused many about whom to believe. The three are free on $100,000 bail while awaiting trial. Pre-trial proceedings are scheduled to begin in February.

Mr. Evans said on the program: “This woman has destroyed everything I worked for in my life. And, worst of all, she’s split apart a community and a nation on facts that just didn’t happen, and a lie that should have never been told.”

Today, one supporter of the woman, whose identity has not been revealed, said she still believes her. “I think when a woman has been sexually assaulted and sexually abused and she can’t explain everything, when you have had three men attacking you, I can understand if she wouldn’t know if she was raped by a penis or other item,” said Victoria Peterson, who is active in the black community in Durham and is a friend of the accuser’s family.

The district attorney filed a document in Superior Court here just before noon officially dismissing the rape charges against the three. The document said that in an interview with investigator Linwood Wilson, “the victim in this case indicated that while she initially believed that she had been vaginally penetrated by a male sex organ (penis), she cannot at this time testify with certainty that a penis was the body part that penetrated her vagina.”

It went on to say: “Since penetration of the vagina by a penis is one of the elements of this offense that the State must prove beyond a reasonable doubt, and since there is no scientific or other evidence independent of the victim’s testimony that would corroborate specifically penetration by a penis, the state is unable to meet its burden of proof with respect to this offense.”

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/22/2006 at 02:57 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime •  
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Quote Of The Day

“Liberals are like people with stale breath talking into your face at a party. You try backing away from them or offering them gum, but then they just start whimpering. They’ve been using the exact same talking points about how we’re losing in Iraq since before we invaded.”

-- Ann Coulter, “Frank Rich Declares Iraq Box Office Poison!”

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/22/2006 at 11:07 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Most Ridiculous Item Of The Week

Dial T for Taliban

An extra scrupulous Reuters reporter was on the job in Kabul last week, bearing the good news that ....

“NATO and Afghan forces have killed about 50 Taliban fighters in the past few days in an operation in southern Afghanistan, an alliance spokesman said on Wednesday. There were no casualties among NATO and Afghan forces in the latest operation, said NATO spokesman Brigadier Richard Nugee. The Taliban could not be contacted immediately for comment.”

That’s right: You can’t trust those lying NATO spokesmen without checking first with the terrorists--sorry, not terrorists, but “Taliban fighters.”

-- The Weekly Standard Scrapbook, 01/01/2007

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/22/2006 at 10:59 AM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias •  
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Under The Yurt

As we reported here last Spring, the Krazy Kazakhs of Kazakhstan were in the process of building a giant pyramid in their new capitol city. It was financed with all the oil money flowing in that used to go to Moscow. So what happened to the giant pyramid in the middle of the Asian steppe? Well, it was built and is now open for business with yak milk for all ....

So what do you do now if you’re the repressive dictator of a miserable third world backwater? Well, you gather your thoughts (and your money) and you decide to enclose a good part of your capitol city under a giant tent (yurt) to keep out the -31 degree winds of winter on the the steppe. And you use a special fabric for the Giant Yurt that traps sunlight so your peoples can enjoy swimming and golfing in winter. Not that any of them know how to swim and none have ever seen a golf course. Those are just details ....

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/22/2006 at 10:13 AM   
Filed Under: • Odd-Strange •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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