Barking Moonbat Early Warning System

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

Saturday - May 14, 2005

Tough Love

If you thought human sexual reproduction was a strange, twisted, dirty, sloppy, messy way to keep the species going, then you need to take a look at the Palolo Worm of Samoa (pictured below), which wins this week’s prize for most bizaare sex act ....

The palolo worm makes its home, according to Anja Schulze of the Smithsonian Marine Station, in the shallow reef, where it uses its sizeable jaws to dig itself a burrow in the limestone substrate. Most of the year it lives quietly, feeding on algae and microorganisms, small crustaceans, and even its own young.

As the time approaches for it to spawn—which in Samoa usually happens in October or early November—the palolo worm undergoes an extraordinary transformation. The organs in its posterior end, except those involved in reproduction, begin to degenerate.

Eventually these rear segments become little more than sacks engorged with either sperm or eggs. At exactly the right moment, Fauchald said, “the rear end starts some very heavy muscle contractions and eventually breaks off.”

The liberated segments then start spiraling toward the surface. They float for up to an hour until the outer casings split open, spilling out their contents. Sperm fertilizes the floating eggs in a vast reproductive frenzy that happens just once a year and lasts only for a few hours.

But successful fertilization is not guaranteed. “There are several complicating factors,” Fauchald said. “You must have an adequate sperm concentration. There must be enough mucous present to keep everything together, so that the spawning mass is not fragmented or washed apart. A storm would be a big problem.” So would large quantities of predatory fish.

Did I mention that the Samoans have an annual festival where they wait for the worms .. uh .. sex act to float to the surface, then they gobble up the mess as part of an annual ritual? I just thought you might like to know.

Hardcore palolo connoisseurs grab the wriggling green-and-blue worms and swallow them raw on the spot. Most scoop them up in clumps and dump them into buckets.

The next day there’s a celebration—a kind of Thanksgiving feast, Samoan style. The worms are fried in oil or baked into a loaf with coconut milk and onions. A new daily special shows up on local restaurant menus: palolo worm on toast. It’s considered quite a delicacy.

Now, which is more disgusting .... the worms or the humans? We report, you decide ....

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/14/2005 at 08:01 AM
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •
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In A Produce Section Far, Far Away

Just in time for the release of “Star Wars III” next week, we found the funniest parody of Lucas’ films ever made ....

May The Farm Be With You!

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/14/2005 at 01:42 AM
Filed Under: • Humor •
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The Way We Were

_{Milt Priggee, Seattle (WA)}

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/14/2005 at 01:32 AM
Filed Under: • Humor •
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Friday - May 13, 2005

Baseball News

The Chicago Cubs are playing tonight in Washington, DC for the first time since 1899.

106 years and two World Series later .... GO CUBS!

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 07:36 PM
Filed Under: • Sports •
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Byrd on the Bible

Seems like a good day to heap scorn on our representatives. This is one of the most inane speaches on the floor of the Senate. This is what passes for rational debate? Good Grief.

Via Radioblogger, via Powerline

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Posted by Drew458

on 05/13/2005 at 03:39 PM
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •
• Comments (1)

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Fisking Congress

There’s nothing I detest more than reading minutes of the Congressional Record. Occasionally though, I read a speech and can’t resist laughing at some of the antics of our CongressCritters. Today’s laugh is being provided by Representative Doris Matsui (D-CA) whose husband served in Congress for 26 years before expiring a few months ago. Robert Matsui died suddenly in January of this year and was buried January 8. The next day, Doris was on the phone calling all of her friends to let them know she was going to run for her late-husband’s seat. Doris has been a lobbyist for decades and even served in the Clinton administration. Get the picture?

Well, anyway, Doris won her husband’s seat in the special election and joined the Congress just a week ago. Yesterday, she stood up and made the following speech (as recorded in the Congressional Record). Comments in the text are from yours truly ....

REPUBLICAN ABUSE OF POWER IN SENATE—(House of Representatives - May 12, 2005)

(Ms. MATSUI asked and was given permission to address the House for 1 minute and to revise and extend her remarks.)

Ms. MATSUI: Mr. Speaker, the power grab Senate Republicans are about to take is not about seven judges; it is about clearing the way for a Supreme Court nominee who only needs 51 votes instead of 60 votes.

Doris, Doris, Doris! You just got here dahling! Relax, babe! There’s no power grab here. These Republicans were duly elected by people who are clearly not as ignorant as yourself. Are you declaring a conspiracy exists here? Let’s see ....

Senate Republicans do not want a David Souter, an Anthony Kennedy, a Sandra Day O’Connor, a Ruth Bader Ginsberg or a Steven Breyer, all of whom were confirmed with nearly unanimous, bipartisan support.

Yes, they were confirmed as you say in the 1980’s by a Democrat-controlled Congress with a Republican minority that just rolled over to the Democrats and gave wusses everywhere a bad name. Now that Republicans are in power, the Democrats are whining and crying foul but Doris, dear, the only thing “foul” here is your Depends undergarments.

If President Bush is successful with this extreme power grab in the Senate, he will be able to appoint extreme, right-wing judges to the court.

Aha! I knew it! Here comes the conspiracy theory. Yes, Bush could appoint Satan himself if he wanted to. He also could appoint Donald Duck and Bugs Bunny if he were so inclined but that’s why the Senate has “advice and consent” power to keep Presidents from acting like Fruit Loops (pardon the reference to Bill Clinton there). All Republicans want is an end to this obstruction in Senate committees, allowing the Senate to vote on all nominees instead of having to listen to Robert “Drooling KKK Wizard” Byrd filibuster everyone to death. You must think Bush can exercise mind-control over a majority of the Senate. Is that right?

President Bush wants to turn the Senate into a second House of Representatives, rubber-stamping his agenda, and that is simply not what our Founding Fathers envisioned when they created two distinctly different congressional chambers.

Puh-leeze, Doris! Where did you dig up this language? From the mouth of Teddy Kennedy or Nancy Peolsi? I’d hazard a guess it was the latter. Sure sounds like her trash-talk. If anyone is “rubber-stamping” here, it is the Democrat Party’s “bosses” who are bullying their members into toeing the party line to obstruct anything the opposing party wants to do. And Doris .... the only “rubber” in this context is the one your father should have used.

Mr. Speaker, Democrats will fight to protect our constitutional checks and balances and basic fairness for the American people.

If Democrats do all that it will be the first time in our nation’s history that “fairness for the American people” was a top priority. As far back as I can remember, the Democratic Party has always stood for (a) telling the American people what to do, (b) twisting the laws to their own advantage, (c) taxing the shit out of the American people to pay for socialist programs, and (d) gaining more and more power in order to ultimately create a communist state.

Now, why don’t you just shut the f**k up and sit down, Doris. All we need in the Congress is another loud-mouthed broad spewing out the pre-chewed pablum from the Democratic Party bigwigs. Go back to Kalifornia and leave the rest of us alone. We’ll be praying the San Andreas Fault sends you and your ilk for a swim real soon .... with Teddy Kennedy as the lifeguard.

Doris Matsui (D-CA)

Babbling Bombastic Bubblehead
From Kalifornia

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 12:16 PM
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Politics •
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McCain-Kennedy Just Stabbed Us In The Back

While no one was looking yesterday, Senators John McCain (R-AZ) and Teddy Kennedy (D-MA) submitted a bill in the Senate to grant amnesty to illegal aliens and allow more to come into the country as “guest workers” ....

Washington Post - Friday, May 13, 2005

A bipartisan bill introduced in Congress yesterday seeks to revise the current immigration system by allowing millions of illegal immigrants in the United States to apply to be temporary guest workers and permit residents of other countries to seek the same status if they can prove that a job is waiting for them.

The new visa program proposed by Sens. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and Edward M. Kennedy (D-Mass.) would allow immigrant workers to leave and enter the United States as they please over the three-year life of the temporary visa.

McCain said current immigration policy is “unacceptable,” in part because it forces Mexican nationals and others illegally seeking to enter the United States to rely on human smugglers or risk their lives crossing the desert alone. In addition, he said, porous borders are “leaving Americans vulnerable” to terrorism.

Under the bill, millions of illegal workers and immigrants who want jobs in the United States could eventually gain citizenship. Illegal workers in the United States would pay $1,000 each to apply for H-5B visas that would require them to work for six years before seeking permanent residency. Foreign nationals would pay $500 each and would have to prove that an employer has a job waiting for them. Both would be required to pass a battery of police background and medical checks.

After working for three years, foreign national visa-holders could ask for three-year extensions and, in the meantime, apply for green cards. If the illegal immigrants continue working, pay an additional $1,000, study English and break no laws for six years, they could qualify for permanent residency. Ultimately, that could lead to full citizenship. In the meantime, visa-holders could leave and enter the United States legally.

McCain said he asked the Bush administration to embrace the proposal. The senator said he did not get a firm answer, but was told that the bill is “in accord with the president’s principles.”

When a large number of people commit a crime, you have two choices: (a) punish them all or (b) make what they’re doing no longer illegal. Guess which one your government is choosing to address the problem of illegal immigrants. I only wonder if this will apply to all invaders. If so, will we become just like France, laying down and rolling over everytime some outside group comes waltzing in? I am sick and disgusted with my government over this blatant disregard for my safety and security, not to mention a complete lack of commitment to preserving the sovereignty of the United States of America.

Forgive me but didn’t every single one of these politicians swear an oath to “preserve, protect and defend the people and the Constitution of the United States”?

This used to be a great country .... until the politicians decided that once elected they need no longer care what the American people think or want. To seal the deal, they try to take our guns away from us leaving them with a fully equipped army to put down any revolt by the people who become sick and tired of their arrogance. My fellow Americans, the end of the greatest nation the planet has ever seen is coming sooner than you think. Our elected officials are throwing it all away, just so they can stay in power. Greedy politicians will be our doom, America. It is happening even as I speak ....

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 09:57 AM
Filed Under: • Illegal-Aliens and Immigration • Politics •
• Comments (15)

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TGIF News Bytes

It’s finally Friday and you all are preparing to go play after the brutal work week (unless you’re a certain Senator from Taxachusetts - in which case you’re continuing the stonewalling over signing the SF-180 Form you promised to sign 103 days ago, releasing your military records for public perusal and verification of all the stories you claimed about your service). Senator Kerry, we’re waiting ....

Bed bugs are threatening the hotel industry. Not to mention gnawing on my butt.

It looks like Ellsworth AFB (South Dakota) and Pascagoula Naval Station (Mississippi) are going to get the ax. Republican Senators John Thune (SD) and Trent Lott (MS) are not going to be happy.

The FBI just rounded up several INS agents, policemen and military personnel in a large drug sting. Who watches the watchers, eh?

John Bolton escapes the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and goes to the full Senate for a vote. Senators Biden, Kennedy and Boxer distraught about “the one that got away”.

Iowa suffocating under cloud of giant fart. Actually, it was the chemical they put in natural gas to make it detectable (which smells like a fart) ....

CLEAR LAKE, Iowa - Lightning hit some Alliant Energy equipment and created a stink strong enough to wake up some residents. The rotten-egg smell was caused early Wednesday when lightning hit an odorizer, a device that mixes a chemical with a foul odor into the natural gas system,officials said.

Its purpose is to alert people to possible leaks, since natural gas itself is odorless.

The lightning struck at about 4 a.m., Alliant spokesman Ryan Stensland said.

He said it “fried” the odorizer and allowed the system to be flooded with the stinking chemical.

“We had hundreds of phone calls,” Stensland said. “We knew the main problem was the odorizer, but whenever we get a call like that from people with concerns about natural gas leaks, we have to check them out.”

Stensland said they brought in about 40 additional workers from surrounding cities to help go door-to-door to check on people. He said they found small leaks in some homes.

“While the overall situation was unfortunate, some good might have come from it,” he said.

The only good I see coming from it is that Iowa no longer smells like a cattle barn but now smells like giant farts. Maybe the lightning was a message from God, eh?

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 09:25 AM
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •
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Your Congress at Work

Not satisfied with working on judicial nominations, terror networks and other pressing matters, your congress critters voted to subpoena the makers of the Wizzinator to answer for their product.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A life-like prosthetic penis called the Whizzinator and other products promising to help illegal drug users pass urine tests provoked U.S. lawmakers on Wednesday to take legal action with subpoenas of manufacturers.

Now I don’t like to hire druggies (sorry OCM) any more than the next guy, but outlawing a fake weiner?

NSFW picture below the fold

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458

on 05/13/2005 at 08:51 AM
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •
• Comments (2)

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Flip-Flop

_{Jeff Koterba, Omaha World Herald, NE}

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 06:16 AM
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •
• Comments (15)

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Outrage Along The Border

Our government has lost its collective mind. Now they’re telling border patrol agents to ignore all illegal aliens. Guess why?

The behavior of the federal government has gone from neglect to a case of outright conspiracy ....

U.S. Border Patrol agents have been ordered not to arrest illegal aliens along the section of the Arizona border where protesters patrolled last month because an increase in apprehensions there would prove the effectiveness of Minuteman volunteers, The Washington Times has learned.

More than a dozen agents, all of whom asked not to be identified for fear of retribution, said orders relayed by Border Patrol supervisors at the Naco, Ariz., station made it clear that arrests were “not to go up” along the 23-mile section of border that the volunteers monitored to protest illegal immigration.

“It was clear to everyone here what was being said and why,” said one veteran agent. “The apprehensions were not to increase after the Minuteman volunteers left. It was as simple as that.”

Another agent said the Naco supervisors “were clear in their intention” to keep new arrests to an “absolute minimum” to offset the effect of the Minuteman vigil, adding that patrols along the border have been severely limited.

The time has come, my friends, to start looking over your shoulder. Our government has obviously entered into a conspiracy with Mexico to bring all of their overflow population to this country (illegally, I might add). This will not do. Clean your firearms and stock up on ammo. It’s going to get ugly real soon. Oh .... and Remember The Alamo!

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 12:12 AM
Filed Under: • Illegal-Aliens and Immigration •
• Comments (5)

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Today Is ….

Do you suffer from paraskevidekatriaphobia?
(also known as friggatriskaidekaphobia)

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/13/2005 at 12:01 AM
Filed Under: • Health-Medicine •
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Thursday - May 12, 2005

Ponderances …

1. Is nobility the greatest of all virtues?
2. What human interaction may cause a greater high than cocaine?
3. The U.S. economy is approximately how many more years ahead of the E.U.?
4. What is one classic marker of politically correct thinking doing damage to the young?
5. What is one classic example of politically correct thinking doing damage to adults in our public service sector?

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/12/2005 at 08:01 PM
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •
• Comments (8)

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Blah-Blah-Blah-Blah ….

Ahem! Your attention, please. The Skipper has an announcement to make.

I have added a new feature to the blog and in doing so, I have become quite embaressed. What I have done is add a new display to the Statistics at the bottom of the main content display page (right above the “Trackbacks” display). There is a new section below the main blog site’s statistics display called “Comment Champions”. This display lists who has left the most comments in order of how much bloviating the member has displayed over the years. It is updated with each display of the main blog page.

I was amazed to discover that I was not the leader when it comes to comments. Shiver me timbers! It seems that one of the BMEWS members has run his mouth off in the comments more often that I have. Consider this a challenge. How many comments have you left? Or have you been lurking and not talking?

Scroll almost to the bottom of this page to see who is the loud-mouthed-member here ....

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Posted by The Skipper

on 05/12/2005 at 04:45 PM
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THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong

Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing

Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:

Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere

It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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