Tuesday - March 15, 2005

Baby Shots, Part III

Mystery Gal Sorry, gang. No clues this time. This beautiful little heartbreaker (aged 4 ½ at the time this picture was taken) is one of our BMEWS members and that’s all I’m gonna tell ya. Nope, not even if you stick hot pokers up my ____ or send me to Abu Ghraib. I ain’t tellin’. You’re on your own here. We have quite a few female members and it could be any one of them. Go ahead, guess away. She will reveal herself if she pleases. After all, a little mystery is part and parcel of every woman, eh?

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 07:42 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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More Baby Shots

Who Is This Child? He later grew up, moved to Colorado and became a grouchy old fart with way too much free time on his hands and way too many feline companions. He eventually became a BMEWS member where his rehabilitation is currently in progress. As you can see in this picture, even at an early age he was practicing flipping the bird to anyone looking. He hasn’t changed one bit in the 20 million years since this picture was taken. Back then dinosaurs were a major problem around baby carriages. That is why only very ugly babies survived. (just kidding)

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 07:26 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Bulldozer Lawsuit

It has been brought to our attention in the last few minutes that the family of Rachel Corrie (winner of the 2003 Moonbat Pancake Competition) have today filed a lawsuit against the State Of Israel and the Israeli Defense Forces for flattening their daughter with a bulldozer after the stoopid bitch had the almighty arrogance to stand in front of the son of a bitch as it was working to destroy Palestinian terrorists’ safe houses. Do you believe the unmitigated gall of these asshats? Would someone please put these shit-fer-brains out of my misery?

The family of Rachel Corrie, a pro-Palestinian activist killed by an Israel Defense Forces bulldozer in Rafah two years ago, sued the State of Israel and the IDF for damages in the Haifa District Court on Tuesday.

The 24-year-old Corrie was killed on March 16, 2003 when she tried to block an IDF bulldozer from destroying a Palestinian house near the Philadelphi Route, the strip of land in the Gaza Strip bordering Egypt.

The family has asked for roughly $324 thousand in direct damages, as well as punitive damages. They also said they have yet to receive all of the material from the IDF investigation into the matter.

Memo To Israel: Not so much as one thin dime, dammit! In fact, send these fucktards a damned bill for scraping the shit off the front of the bulldozer, thank you very much. And shoot their damned lawyer while you’re at it.

Major Update: As one of our members (Steel) predicted, these asshat forons have also filed suit against Caterpillar for selling the bulldozer to Israel. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! STOOPID FORONS!

SEATTLE - The parents of a 23-year-old activist killed while trying to prevent the demolition of a Palestinian home is suing Caterpillar Inc., the company that made the bulldozer that ran over her.

The federal lawsuit, which lawyers said would be filed here Tuesday, alleges that Caterpillar violated international and state law by providing specially designed bulldozers to Israeli Defense Forces that it knew would be used to demolish homes and endanger people.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR......

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 07:02 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Judges-Courts-Lawyers •  
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The Summer Of ‘51

It was the summer of 1951. Living was easy and the cotton was high. The future BMEWS Secretary Of War was just trying out his sea legs under the watchful eye of his 7-year-old cousin. Even then, in the early years, the future SecWar was leading a pampered life .... he had shoes (and SOCKS!).

Grampaw was working on his old rattletrap jalopy in the front yard and the future SecWar was exploring the porch area trying to find that nasty-assed pig that was making so much noise.

Later that night, the Mighty SecWar’s belly bulged even further, thanks to that porker and generous helpings of homemade biscuits, collard greens and fried okra.

Even way back then you could see the steely-eyed gaze of the future Moonbat Hunter peering out from under the blond mop of hair (he had his first haircut when he was only two weeks old), searching for evil in all its disguises .... just look at that mighty young man flexing those pecs and the rippling muscles waiting to grapple with that evil pig .... and we will not, in the interests of civilized discourse, discuss the noticeable bulge in the crotch area. Got that?

Memo: So, who else out there is brave enough to share their childhood pictures??? C’mon, were all of you ugly children? E-Mail me your pictures and I’ll post them .... and I promise not to PhotoShop them (too much)!

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 03:10 PM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
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Breaking News!

Bernard Ebbers Guilty on All Counts NEW YORK, March 15, Washington Post—Former WorldCom Inc. chief executive Bernard J. Ebbers was found guilty of conspiracy, securities fraud and making false filings with regulators for his role in a massive accounting fraud that led to the downfall of the nation’s second largest telecommunications firm, costing millions of investors billions of dollars. The jury of seven women and five men held Ebbers, 63, responsible for filings that boosted WorldCom’s reported earnings and hid the fact that its business was deteriorating for nearly two years. WorldCom filed for bankruptcy protection in July 2002, later announcing it had uncovered $11 billion in fraudulent accounting entries.

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 12:57 PM   
Filed Under: • Crime •  
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Vote For Oink’s Avatar

After due consideration, we have decided to turn the choice of Oink’s avatar over to our gentle readers. We trust that in their infinite wisdom they will choose the appropriate avatar for dear old Oink, our resident male chauvinist pig. We have selected ten .. uh .. “pig-like” avatars from our extensive library and post them here for your vote. Choose wisely ....

Update I: Ooooooohhh, you folks aren’t really going to stick him with Michael Moron are you? Yeegads!

Update II: Uh-oh! Oink is getting desperate. Someone from Oink’s location in Indiana just tried to sign up as a new member with a bogus e-mail address. Developing ....

Update III: Things are getting close. The race is between the “Yawning Pig”, the “Fahren-Pig” and the “Suckling Pig” is in third place. Stay tuned ....

Update IV: The “Fahren-Pig” leads the pack with the “Yawning-Pig” in a dead heat. All other piggies sucking hind tit, as we say down South ....

Update V: “Fahren-Pig” and “Yawning-Pig” are neck and neck coming around turn three with “Suckling-Pig” and “Horny-Pig” close behind. This may be a close race, folks. Polls close at midnight tonight!

Update VI: Yeegads! There are some nasty people out there! I just received the following picture from an anonymour source who wanted to know if I could turn it into an avatar for Oink .. in light of his recent confessions. Please hurry up and vote before this all gets out of hand. I have disabled vote limiting so you can vote as many times as you want. HAVE AT IT!

PHOTO CENSORED FOR BEING IN INCREDIBLY BAD TASTE!—The FCC has deteremined that this blog is getting too silly. Way too silly. Now, stop it!

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 11:33 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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I Hope Y’All Caught This Bit Of Irony

Many radio talk shows discussed it.  Many people wrote about it.  But none pointed it out as well as Rush Limbaugh.

The issue is the NY Times story about how looters had systematically pillaged Saddam Hussein’s weapons bunkers. In what could be nothing more than a deliberate execution of a carefully thought out plan, as soon as Saddam fell, the facilities were cleaned out.  And this included VERY sensitive material used for making nuclear arms.

Now, let’s go back to all the braying we’ve been getting from the left and the retards in the media plus all those asshole dummycraps in the house and senate stepping up onto their little soap boxes saying, “The war is illegal!  There ARE no WMDs!” “We are acting like imperialist war-mongers!” etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum, ad infinitum.

Yet here comes the NY Times, in effect, ADMITTING there WERE weapons!  If not, then what was stolen?  Or does your definition of a WMD NOT include nukes?

Yet the Times also said there were no WMDs. 

So which is it, NY Times?  Or is this another of your fabrications?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/15/2005 at 07:22 AM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias • Terrorists •  
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Kill All The Lawyers (Part 2)

Right here in little ole’ Tampa we have another gross miscarriage of justice.

Parents allow their 16 year old jagoff son to stay out all night.  He goes clubbing.  For some reason he’s in this parking garage and an argument breaks out.  He dies.

The parents are no pillars of society themselves.  She’s a mental case and the father (after 5 years, mind you) still wears his SON’S clothes and cologne.

However, a jury awarded them $1.2 MILLION for pain and suffering.  The guilty party?  The garage owner for not having enough lights!!  In some bizarre mathematical calculation the garage was 20% responsible, the club 40%, the mother 25% and the father 15%.  Yet only the garage got sued.  Not the club.

Can anyone guess why?  (hint: follow the money)

This is an absolute abomination!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/15/2005 at 07:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-Lawyers • Outrageous • Stoopid-People •  
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Who’s Got Some Chlorine?

The human gene variety, that is, because the pool needs cleaning.  I think you’ll agree after reading this.

A man hits the jackpot.  Another man’s son goes to the jackpot winner’s house and parties with the jackpot winner’s grand daughter.  He gets so stoned he dies.

Now, apparently according to the father, all of a sudden it is the jackpot winner’s fault that his dumb ass-wipe of a son died so he is suing.

Why a judge isn’t just throwing this out is beyond me.

Yes, kill all the lawyers.  It is time.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/15/2005 at 06:57 AM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-Lawyers • Stoopid-People •  
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Biased?

NO!!!!!  You Don’t Say!!!  REALLY!!!!  The MEDIA?!?!?!  Biased?!?!?!

I wonder how much time some geek sat around searching Lexis-Nexis to come to THIS brilliant conclusion?

I could have told these dumb sons of bitches that years ago.  Practically every single election since Reagan, for that matter.

And the media is not biased??????  Here I thought they were all non-partisan journalists.  Silly me.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/15/2005 at 06:54 AM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias •  
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Caption Contest

Here’s another picture of a little hottie over in Lebanon.  Obviously the glad-rags are not in vogue over there.  Amazing how little we know about a country, eh?  And here I thought they were all devout Muslims.  Then again, Beirut USED to be called the Paris of the mid-east. Or Riviera of the mid-east. (or something like that.)

So…….observe person with arrow over head.  And just WHAT is her hand about to do?

Now give us a good caption for this photo.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/15/2005 at 06:51 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Tuesday Laffs

Petey The Snake

(This should be read out loud. Try to do it with a straight face)

Petey was a snake, only so big. Petey lived in a pit with his mother.

One day Petey was hissing in the pit when his mother said, “Petey, don’t hiss in the pit, go outside the pit to hiss.”

So Petey went outside of the pit to hiss.

Petey was hissing all around when he finally leaned over and hissed in the pit. Petey’s mother heard Petey hissing in the pit and said, “Petey, if you must hiss in a pit, go over to Mrs. Pott’s pit and hiss in her pit.

Petey went over to Mrs. Pott’s pit to hiss in her pit, but Mrs. Pott was not at home so he hissed in her pit anyway. While Petey was hissing in Mrs. Pott’s pit Mrs. Pott came home and found Petey hissing in her pit. She said, “Petey, if you must hiss in a pit, don’t hiss in my pit; go to your own pit and hiss.”

This made Petey very sad, and he cried all the way home.

When Petey got home, his mother saw him crying and said, “Petey, what’s the matter?”

Petey said, “I went over to Mrs. Pott’s to hiss in her pit but Mrs. Pott was not at home, so I hissed in her pit anyway.

Mrs. Pott came home and found me hissing in her pit and said, “Petey, if you must hiss in a pit go to your own pit and hiss, don’t hiss in my
pit.”

This made Petey’s mother very angry and she said, “Why that mean old Lady! I knew Mrs. Pott when she didn’t have a pit to hiss in”.

Hat Tip: Joanny

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler     on 03/15/2005 at 06:44 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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You Had To See This Coming

We now have a motive for the multiple slayings in Atlanta last week, according to the Atlanta Journal. It seems that Brian Nichols was an oppressed African-American ....

Brian G. Nichols considered himself a “soldier on a mission” the day he terrorized a courthouse and a city with a gun, according to a law enforcement official who witnessed Nichols’ first statement to authorities.

The official said Nichols, who was being tried in a rape case when Friday’s deadly shooting spree occurred, considered himself a wrongly accused man in a legal system unfair to African-Americans.

After his capture Saturday afternoon, Nichols gave a three-hour statement to local, federal and state law enforcement agents at FBI headquarters in DeKalb County.

In an interview with The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the official said Nichols described how he had been stewing in jail while awaiting retrial on charges that he held his ex-girlfriend hostage and sexually assaulted her. The first jury couldn’t agree and the judge declared a mistrial.

Nichols said he was angry that many of the inmates around him were also black and he wondered how many were innocent.

“He called it systematic slavery,” the law enforcement official said.

OK, everyone .... repeat after me ....

BULLSHIT!

Dang! That one broke my Bullshit Detector!

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 04:02 AM   
Filed Under: • Outrageous •  
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The Last Laugh

^{Henry Payne, The Detroit News, Michigan}

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/15/2005 at 03:51 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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