There’s One Born Every Minute

 

1. Duh… no shit.

   In the early 60s, my sister ordered a boobie enhancer thing. It contained a picture of a mans hand.

   Posted by DR@HDfixit       02/15/2005  at  01:26 PM  



2. Hey Dr@ !  Let’s move our ‘boner’ jokes here.  Allan won’t mind.

   Allan, re: your first Q&A—it is crucial that you first determine that the lawyer is dead.

   Posted by Oink       02/15/2005  at  04:03 PM  



3. Oink, Feel free to drop the boner and lawyer jokes here. I need some entertainment today!

   I agree with Oink. First make sure the fucker is D.E.A.D.

   

   Posted by The Skipper       02/15/2005  at  04:18 PM  



4. Dr@HDfixit & I (I’m confident I speak for him also) do not want to repeat all our sparkling bons mots.  So get your ass over to This is TOOOOOOOO Messed Up.

   Posted by Oink       02/15/2005  at  04:26 PM  



5. From: There’s One Born Every Minute.
   
   I tell ya what offends me is the TV commercials that say: “If your erection lasts more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help.” (Ciallis, Viagra, etc)

   Yea...right.

   Emergency room:
   “Hi...I’ve got a boner that won’t seem to go away. What do I do about it? Can you help me young lady? I mean… I feel so....victimized” (wink wink)
   .
   .

   Then Oink says:

   ...let me suggest one from the USMC that may be more enticing to the “young lady”.

   Ma’am I got a hard-on so tight I can’t close my eyes!
   
   .
   .

   ...Blue steel… a cat couldn’t scratch it.

   .
   .

   ...when any woman sniffs your aftershave and asks,
   “What have you got on?” The proper response is,

   “I got a hard-on, but I didn’t know you could smell it.”

   Posted by DR@HDfixit       02/15/2005  at  04:36 PM  



6. Darn DR@ !  My parents always told me, “You’ll remember the answer longer if you look it up yourself.” Which, even back then I suspected really meant “I don’t know the answer either.”

   Posted by Oink       02/15/2005  at  05:02 PM  



7. By the way;
   Responding the this in no way implies anyone here has a teeny weenie.

   Posted by DR@HDfixit       02/15/2005  at  05:08 PM  



8. But it might, it just might. Better be careful....  OOOPS!

   Do you remember, years ago, there was a program you could sneak onto somebody’s computer, that gave a convincing looking error message.  “Probable cause of problem—user has small penis.  Do you have a small penis?  YES NO.” Of course, it would not let you click on NO.  I Ctrl-Alt Deleted the bastard.

   Posted by Oink       02/15/2005  at  06:09 PM  



9. Sorry, have I missed anything?  I’ve been locked in the bathroom with a ruler.  Those darn things only go up to 12 inches, and my wife finds the pencil marks unsightly . BULL    

   Posted by Oink       02/15/2005  at  08:23 PM  



10. Oink, do what I do. Tie it to a tree, hop in the car and drive until it gets tight. Check the odometer and there you have it. 

    Posted by The Skipper       02/15/2005  at  10:18 PM  



11. Yeah, the water is cold,and Real Deep Too!!

    Posted by stan       02/15/2005  at  10:59 PM  



12. How do you save a lawyer from Drowning?
    Take your foot off his head!

    Not that you would want to.

    Posted by Tyler       02/16/2005  at  02:05 AM  



13. My personal favorite:

    Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
    A: One is a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other’s a fish.

    Posted by Bear       02/16/2005  at  06:44 AM  

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