Most Ridiculous Headline Of The Day
Vilmar should annoint Allan with a new title: Generalissimo-in-Charge of Finding the Weirdest Shit
Keep it up
Posted by Oink
02/16/2005 at 11:26 AM
That is all of our job descriptions here at BMEWS, Oink. Finding weird shit and exposing it.
From The Daily Tar Heel:
“I really wanted people to hear an honest portrayal about how women feel about their vaginas,” said senior Erica Robinson, events coordinator for the Carolina V-Day initiative. “Because usually when it is portrayed, it’s not honest.”
“I think it’s something refreshing for women to hear that is honest and real,”
That Story Reminded Me of a time long ago when a female flight of AirForce recruits was marching by and their Drill Instructor barked out the order…
“WHEN I SAY TEN-HUT I WANT TO HEAR 37 PUSSIES SUCKING AIR!”
You could have heard a pin drop as we all ... listened for it.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
02/16/2005 at 12:14 PM
Do you really want to know how women feel about their vaginas? Forget these stupid feminazis and their vagina monologues. Here’s how to tell ....
After making love to her, you look over at her and see her face and chest flushed red, with sweat dripping from her face and pooling up in her navel; her thighs quivering and her toes still curled up; a mile-wide smile on her face and her eyes sort of half glazed over .... then she rolls over toward you and just sighs. If you’re stoopid enough to ask “was it good for you?” then you need to have your ass kicked.
At that moment, a woman’s thoughts about her vagina are simply, “GIVE ME MORE!”.
The rest of the time they never think about it (except for that one week a month when they cuss at it).
DR@—I heard that for the women Marines, the DI said “I wanna hear those pussies SNAP!”
Women have told me that it must feel weird having something hanging between your legs. Not BAD, mind you, but weird.
Careful, Allan. Too many specifics might start to raise suspicion. Incorrect suspicion I hasten to add, and something you would be willing to refute personally to a woman who raised questions.
Posted by Oink
02/16/2005 at 12:48 PM
Damn Allan...
I had nearly forgotten about those moments.
The closest I get to piece of ass these days is scratching my butt.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
02/16/2005 at 01:20 PM
I had a boss who used to say this whenever he was about to one-up you in a story: “the first liar doesn’t stand a chance.”
So Dave, here’s mine.
I worked in a helicopter maintenance outfit in Missouri back in 1976. Women were just then making a break into all fields in the AF and we had a female mechanic named Robin (who worked in the office, natch!)
We’re all sitting on the floor of the hangar as our commander was giving us the minutes from a base level staff meeting and was telling us about a parade we had to participate in.
We all wore fatigues to work and having to dig out the old blue service dress was anathema. Of course, if we wore service dress we then had to be told which cap to wear so everyone looked “uniform.”
One was the wheel hat (bus driver hat, we called it) and the other was a service cap. You AF guys in the audience already can see the punch line, right?)
So one of the guys yells out, “Sir, what hat do we wear?”
Without batting an eye the commander says, “the cunt cap.” (because if you looked at it from the top.............you get the idea)
Vilmar, of course, never one to keep his mouth shut, IMMEDIATELY does an “eyes left” to Robin, then does an “eyes front” to the commander and blurts out, “I don’t believe you said that!”
A silence befell the hangar. No one looked at her.
After being dismissed we laughed our asses off. So did she. Now there’s a woman for you. She could take a joke and knew no harm or foul was meant.
The Women Marines (WMs for short) are rightly now just called Marines. Back in the bad-old-days they were referred to, behind their backs, as BAMs—Broad Ass Marines. If you called a ‘WM’ a BAM she would deck you. ‘Punch you out’ would be clearer. I am not kidding a bit.
The above-reffered-to cap (by Vilmar) is most commonly known as a Piss Cutter. Damned if I could ever discover why.
I like stories. GODDAM IT !!! I’m not being sarcastic!
Posted by Oink
02/16/2005 at 03:26 PM
I think everyone called it a cuntcap, even the ladies. Probably not anymore.
Oink; That would be because the South end of that unit is a Turd Cutter.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
02/16/2005 at 05:20 PM
That was good Vilmar
Oink was wandering about the origin or meaning of the cunt cap/piss cutter/turd cutter thing.
Here is my take:
Or should I say: So Vilmar, here’s mine.
I am not real sure on this so I can only offer my own experience
.
Way back when, I spent time on “Air Defense Alert”. Cold War stuff. We would “Scramble” the Jets sometimes several times a day. Soviet Bombers and Drug Enforcement runs mostly, a few “unknowns”.The first time I heard the “cutter” term used was when one guy was in the head (bathroom) when the claxon (loud horn) went off. “Scramble, Scramble, Scramble” Later on He is pissin & moanin something about needing another flight suit. Why? He has a brown stripe running up his back. Someone said: “Whatsamatter? Turd cutter too dull?” He was apparently in mid-turd production, pulled up his suit and for the next hour and a half had to smell his own shit from the back of his neck.
The next time was a young friend talking about his girlfriends butt. He said “ She has the finest turd cutter I have ever seen.”
So I suppose the Piss Cutter/Turd Cutter thing is akin to stopping mid-steam or “pinching one off” rather than “prairie dogging” which can cause those unsightly brown stripes on your flightsuit.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
02/16/2005 at 06:35 PM
