Liberal-Speak
The problem is that many of these speech forms will truly meet with deferred success in the true meanning of the phrase. That is, that eventually they will succeed in being adopted. More’s the pity.
Softening reality serves no useful purpose. When the County Jail becomes the “Holding Center” for example, everyone gets all warm and fuzzy about it. Screw that, it’s still a jail and should be referred to as such. I mean, there’s a certain attraction to “holding center”. It’s almost like a giant county hug. If you’re in the jail and somebody wants to “hold” you, you’re about to have problems you may not be prepared for.
Then there’s Human Resources. Personnel departments got such a bad reputation that they changed the name. It’s still the same collection of cold hearted bastards that’ll screw you for ten minutes of overtime or automatically deny an injury claim. Where’s the difference?
Never mind, I have “issues”. Not problems, resentments or troubles, mind you, they’re “issues”.
TRUE, true, true. But some are funny, “testosterone poisoning’ for ‘adolescence’.
“TAB” (Temporarily Able-Bodied) for people without handicaps—sobering, too.
Consider the idea of looking out for another person’s welfare. Warm and fuzzy, no? Now think about the “Welfare” Department.
Posted by Oink
11/20/2005 at 09:11 AM
Then there’s “entitlement” programs. These nice folks are ”entitled” to that welfare.
It’s alive and well in a lot of places and sometimes comes in handy. When I was heard to bitch about “ergophobic children of bachelors” the lazy bastards I was discussing didn’t bitch about it at all.
They weren’t stupid, they were just synaptically impaired.
If you can’t successfully engage them combatically (?) meld and ally yourself with them.
(If you can’t beat them, join them.)
Copulate ‘em if they can’t accept a witticism.
Posted by Oink
11/20/2005 at 01:11 PM
C.E. to replace A.D. is quite usual now. The odd thing is that many think it means “Christian Era” instead of “Common Era”. That probably frustrates those who fostered it.
The oddity is that there is nothing “common” about the C.E. The Chinese, Japanese, Jews, and Muslims have different dates. And I believe there are at least ten others. But most use the C.E. for convenience and reserve their system for formal occasions and religous affairs.
So maybe we should call C.E. the Convenience Era. Or use a Convenience Calendar, C.C., or use C.D. for Commonly (Used) Date, or......
Anything to appease those who must endlessly fix the unbroken and found obscure references such as A.D. an impediment to world peace and human happiness.
I vote for “deferred success” as the Newspeak phrase of the year. It is a bit unclear though. How about “defsucc” instead?
Posted by KenS
11/20/2005 at 03:26 PM
Who expects language to be logical? Why is it good to tell your female companion that she’s “a vision” but not good to tell her she’s “a sight’” Unless you haven’t seen her lately, then she’s “a sight for sore eyes”.
We should have some juicy words saved for use when we really need them. Using them constantly robs them of their power.
Posted by Oink
11/20/2005 at 04:27 PM
Drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
[George Carlin] I don’t take a
, I leave a
Absolutely correct on overuse causing loss of effectiveness. Mom would save certain words for the rare occasion when she really wanted to make a point to my father. She’d make him squirm when she trotted out the dreaded “F-word”. He used it all the time and it didn’t mean anything but when she got rolling.... WOOOO ... EEE-Ffective!
I have a major problem with the word “issues” - hate it - just say we have a “problem” with what ever.............
Posted by Dottie
11/20/2005 at 08:07 PM
Yep, me too, Dottie. I was busy in a robot cell at work one night and missed hearing a fire alarm. I came out of the cell and the place was deserted. It seemed like a good time to hit the break room for a smoke. Someone saw me and called me on the two way radio. She told me that they were all outside for a “safety issue”.
I’m thinking that they all walked out over some safety concern. It was only when I got out there that I found that there had been a fire alarm. Like so many of these PC words and phrases it is obfuscatory. It wasn’t a “safety issue” it was a damn fire alarm. I would certainly have moved quicker had I thought that the building was on fire. Of course, that would have been a “combustion issue”, I suppose.
Kerr: Maybe, instead of “safety issue” the intercom could broadcast a high-pitched, hysterical voice screaming “FIRE” . That’d empty the building. Except, of course, for the fews dozens who were trampled to death in the panic.
Hmmm. Perhaps something in the middle, that tells you this is serious without using trigger words? Our office building had an alarm that sounded like Red Alert on the USS Enterprise.
Posted by Oink
11/21/2005 at 02:21 AM
Anything would have been better than the sick buzzer sound they used there. It was barely discernable over the ambient noise of the place. I’m thinking that the hysterical voice would have been better. We certainly had enough candidates to make the recording. A good alarm is something that penetrates any other noises and gets everyone’s attention. This didn’t.
Remember the announcement at the WTC on 9/11 telling everyone to stay where they were and that everything would be OK? That wasn’t just semantics.
Posted by Oink
11/21/2005 at 09:37 AM
