To the citizens of the United States of America (Now Pay attention, this is long)
I have been somewhat under the weather last 24 hours with this awful darn stomach bug. Really bothersome, and I had intended to simply say the heck with today, I’m gonna flake out in an easy chair and try really hard NOT to move. Just read. But when I first chhecked my email and found this from a friend, well.
I just couldn’t ignore it. Could I?
I thought it was funny, I sure hope you guys have a sense of humor altho I do confess the thing about guns did bother me some. OK, it’s only humor after all BUT. It also has it’s base, doesn’t it, in someone’s idea of Americans and guns. Those are usually ppl who hear about and read about guns in the USA, but have never lived in our country. What would they know about self defense?
If anyone is offended by this, keep in mind that you have a right to sue for hurt feelings over here. But you have ta come here to do it.
on 07/16/2008 at 06:38 AM
Let’s see:
There is a point here. We really don’t have much in the way of political candidates these days.
If Her Majesty actually ruled the British Empire, I might go along with this idea. However, as the power seems to rest in the (wimpy, sissified, hiding under the bed so as not to offend the Muslims) Parliament, I cannot agree. At some points, I think the U. S. should annex the British Isles and Commonwealth and make the appropriate changes so they are actually a republic and the citizenry have more say in things.
(Then maybe we could move all the Democrats, Liberals, Socialists, and other light minded twits to Quebec and declare them ‘independent’. How’s that sound?)
One last thing. We keep the guns. If Her Majesty remembers, we had a war about that some 230 odd years ago. We won.
Agree Archie - as Charlton Heston said - “Out of my cold, dead hands.”
-’12. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of “Nancies"). Don’t try rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us. ‘-
I love (American) football - however as we now have Brett Farve insisting on re-joining after his umpteenth ‘retirement’ announcement - not to mention the show-offs, parole violators (how’s that one going Marvin?) and abasement of the sport to elevate the Saints (thank God they dropped the Cowboys) with the mantel of ‘America’s’ team drivel - I have to go with the Queen on this one (by the way - is it only America who makes all the game/sports teams wear so much ‘protection’ that they look stupid)
-’13. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn Cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.’-
America’s game, my #*%. I’m with the Queen on this one.
However, as Archie said - the Queen isn’t really running things - much like America - we are promoting fiberal ‘figureheads’ as the POTUS no longer is running things - and with Obamanation it is a cardboard figurehead.
God Save America.
Um, item 5…
In all the last updates on things on their side of the pond, they seem to favour lawyers and therapists as much or more than we do.
Now, the other part of 5 could provide a solution for the lawyers and therapists, but…
Posted by B3
07/16/2008 at 11:30 AM
If she wishes to revoke our Independence, she can damn well come over here and do it.
And bring your entire military force (including the Beefeaters and the ceremonial Redcoats), cause you are gonna need it.
And that is before we intern all British nationals, disarm or destroy all British military units in Iraq and Afghanistan (and anywhere else they and we are fighting together), and forge an alliance with Guatemala and Argentina to seize control of Belize, the Falklands, and the British colonies in the the Caribbean and Pacific, and issue an ultimatum to every nation Britain has an alliance with to either revoke it, or face the consequences.’
In addition, we can ask the Spanish if they want Gibraltar back. And they can have it if they join the war alongside us against the British.
Yes, we love you guys. However, we will NOT allow the arbitrary imposition of laws without consent. See 1775. Only this time, the balance of power is reversed.
Seriously, if the Falkland conflict ignited again today, the Royal Navy would probably be unable to contest the Argentine Navy in the area, and would be dependent on the garrison to hold out (which, granted, may be possible, given the massive quality gap between the Brits and Argentine forces).
However, even alone, the US could probably deal a devastating blow to Britain. If we could manage to get an agreement with Argentina, Guatemala, and/or Spain, then their relatively weak and overstretched military would easily be overrun.
I am sorry, but even relatively benevolent rule without representation (see George III) is tantamount to Tyranny.
And that would be my answer even if Britain was a muscular democratic republic such as the 1900-1956 Britain.
It would ESPECIALLY be my answer now, as Britain is too willing to supplicate before the Islamists.
However, that is not to say I am willing to reconsider.
Here is my counter offer to the Queen:
1. America and all her overseas territories must retain autonomy as a Dominion.
2. American Military forces are to remain staffed by American commanders unless a case-specific exception was made, though they will be under a British High Command.
3. America must retain her political structures and offices under the greater umbrella of the British Commonwealth. Our own politicians are corrupt enough. We don’t need ones who have never been to the US being corrupt in regards to us.
4. British Gun Restrictions and Political Correctness laws will NOT apply to the US unless specifically decided by America’s autonomous political bodies.
5. Just as America will have an autonomous political body, Americans will not be able to join Parliament.
6. Britain and the United States must regard all enemies to one state as enemies of both states, and act accordingly.
7. Britain MUST recognize that they have no right to rescind America’s Independence. They can only rescind their recognition of it.
8. As a part of America’s autonomous nature, all “Americanisms” must remain legal. “Britishisms” will retain their legal status.
9. As a part of the recognition between the United Kingdom and the Dominion of the United States that all enemies to one will be an enemy to the other, the Dominion of the United States pledges to retain a military force in the British Falklands to ward off any possible aggression.
10. The United Kingdom, in forming this union with the United States, must disavow all taxes between the start of the American War of Independence in 1775 (which, for formalities sake, will be counted as the “Powder Alarm."), and the date of reunion between the two countries. This disavowal extends to all states, even those not a part of the Thirteen Colonies at the start of the Revolution.
11. The Supreme Law of the Dominion of the United States will remain the American Constitution. the British Constitution will be 2nd in consideration, unless an agreement is decided upon and accepted by both parties at a later date.
12. London MUST recognize that this Union is subject to immediate and total dissolution at ANY time by either party to it. If this is refused, the bereaved party will, in accord with the inherent and inalienable rights of all Humans, will have the right to dissolve the Union by force of Arms. That is FINAL.If these are accepted, than we might have a deal.
(Sorry Peiper, but those are the terms of the counteroffer. Will you tell us what the Queen’s response is to my reasonable counteroffer?)
Seriously, Britain must decide if it wants to return as a Great Power, or fade away.
The US faces a similar threat.
All of the West must either stand up or fall dead.
Time will tell which will happen.
Posted by Turtler
07/17/2008 at 04:00 AM
Oh yes, I almost forgot: If the British insist on doing such a thing, not only will we deploy our military and see if Guatemala, Argentina, and Spain want their respective territories, we have another potential ally in the struggle against the British.
I am talking about a tiny nation that withstood the might of the Royal Navy in spite of being greatly outnumbered.
I am talking about Iceland.
They fought the RN to a draw, and with the aid of the American Fleet, they may drive the Royal Navy out of the North Sea entirely.
Be afraid, Queenie. Be very, VERY afraid.
Posted by Turtler
07/17/2008 at 04:26 AM
it was just a joke made by someone else. queen never said that but I bet she might be afraid as should all Brits ... of islam.
I would have thought it was obvious that I kind of got that from these:
3. America must retain her political structures and offices under the greater umbrella of the British Commonwealth. Our own politicians are corrupt enough. We don’t need ones who have never been to the US being corrupt in regards to us.
In addition, we can ask the Spanish if they want Gibraltar back. And they can have it if they join the war alongside us against the British.
Seriously, Britain must decide if it wants to return as a Great Power, or fade away.
The US faces a similar threat.
All of the West must either stand up or fall dead.
Time will tell which will happen.
Oh yes, that and my mentioning that Iceland’s military experience from the three Cod Wars would make them a valuable naval Ally in the North sea, while we have probably LOST more in one major Pacific battle than they have now.
SmackSmackSmack.
Are you sure you are well, old chap?
Posted by Turtler
07/17/2008 at 09:07 AM
Actually, I don’t have a LOT of problems with this, considering we speak the same language (sort of) and neither of us are real interested in the French (unless she happens to be (almost) wearing the latest in swimwear fashion...) Considering the wit twins (half and nit) running for the oval office, how bad can the Queen do? However, there are a few items that need to be ironed out. To wit:
1) Our firearms. Not negotiable. No. Trust me, you want (1) Us (the good guys) to have ‘em and (2) you want Us (the good guys) on YOUR side.
2) You put BARBECUE sauce on steak - NOT MUSTARD fer cryin’ out loud. Mustard is for Hot Dogs!
3) Lose Prince long puss. Any mope that gives up on the cute broad and picks up with a dame that looks like she had the losing end of an argument with a tree shredder hasn’t got the brains God gave pond slime. Diana wasn’t the brightest chick in the coop, but she was a lot easier on the eyes.
4) Lord High Judge Arsewipe - the one who said “Sharia is just fine” - he gets his wig and his butt a free ticket to the Louisiana swampland, at night, no moon and no mosquito repellant. And a 10 mile back home. after being swathed in pigs blood. Hey - the critters gotta eat too!!Now, we can continue negotiating from there…
