Stop Right There!

 

1. In the Orient there was no china. Just a
   hole. And if you were on the 2nd story ...
   you could look down through two holes.

   Get used to it Allan, it is a new bidet.

   I predict this trend will seriously diminish
   the overall reading skills of Western
   civilization.

   I further predict this trend will contribute
   to a further upswing in psychoses borne
   of bad potty training.

   There will be a pandemic of hemorhoids.

   Household accidents occur some 40% of the
   time in the bathroom ... make that 60%.

   Here’s one you can relate to Allan ..
   the term ‘worshipping at the porcelain
   God’ will become impossible without assistance.

   Posted by Steel Turman       03/21/2005  at  07:41 PM  



2. I had a plumber like that one time.

   Posted by Yellow Dog       03/21/2005  at  07:44 PM  



3. It’s a Japanese toilet. Nothing new or fancy. They were common in Japan when I was there in the 1970’s

   Semper Fidelis,
   ASM826

   Posted by ASM826       03/21/2005  at  07:46 PM  



4. Don’t use it until it’s mounted

   Posted by Officer Pupp       03/21/2005  at  07:51 PM  



5. That’s all well and good, guys but it leaves a lot to the imagination. Like how does one squat over it .. if one indeed does squat? Does one just stand and take a flying potshot at it and if so, from which direction? Maybe one simply lays on one’s back and drops buttocks into the chute and prays to Buddha that all comes out well? Dammit, people! We need answers here! The best scientific minds in America are tied up in knots over this mysterious object!

   Posted by The Skipper       03/21/2005  at  07:53 PM  



6. Why would someone take the legs off a perfectly good baby carriage and glue it to the floor?

   Posted by Tequila Mockingbird       03/21/2005  at  07:56 PM  



7. Baby carriage? Japanese toilet? Mounted? Bidet?

   I’m lost. 

   Posted by The Skipper       03/21/2005  at  08:01 PM  



8. EITHER

   1.  One of those Your-a-Peein’ crappers where you grab a pair of hand-holds, squat, and hope you don’t shit on your shoes.

   2.  MoveOn dot Org Headquarters

   Posted by Oink       03/21/2005  at  08:03 PM  



9. #2: we have a winner!

   Posted by The Skipper       03/21/2005  at  08:12 PM  



10. Looks just like the restroom in that seedy little bar I hung out in while in Toulon. ‘Cept it’s cleaner… (my guess is that most guys stood up and the alcohol ruined their aim...)
    
    For those that don’t know, Toulon is in France.

    However, I’ve never been to MoveOn.org headquarters… so Oink may be right. I assume he would know… trysts with Monica and all…

    Posted by Christopher       03/21/2005  at  08:22 PM  



11. well, it’s way to small to bathe in.  I don’t see a captain’s wheel anywhere either.

    Maybe it’s a baby washer.  Although when my kids were that small we used to just use the kitchen sink.

    It would be easier to hurl in that when I can’t get off the floor.....

    Posted by prairie biker       03/21/2005  at  08:36 PM  



12. Thank you, thank you.  I’ll be gone most of tomorrow, so the second best will have to step up..

    Posted by Oink       03/21/2005  at  08:57 PM  



13. Second best?

    OK. It’s the unisex restroom in the Bill Clinton Lie-brary.

    Posted by Christopher       03/21/2005  at  09:42 PM  



14. It reminds me somewhat of the squatters in Morocco.  They are a shallow, square basin in the floor with a pair of footprints raised about 2-3” with the hole in the middle - no handholds - not for the weak-kneed.  One squats to do one’s business - and one brings one’s own bumwad.  Otherwise, the only recourse is Arab style, which has much to do with the Arab custom of eating and handshaking with the right hand only - one of the more unclean taboos I can think of.

    Posted by bowpet       03/21/2005  at  11:27 PM  



15. I can’t help but think, “Man, that was one heckuva drunk plumber!”

    Posted by JSThane       03/22/2005  at  05:29 AM  



16. Hey, BowPet, you fergot to mention .............
    those toilets in Morocco are for MEN - when I was there in ‘95, we were traveling back up the coast from Oaladiyah {that’s misspelled, I know - pronounced wall-ah-DEE-yah} and stopped in a college town, for a break in the drive - I really, REALLY had to go - we went to a ‘coffee house’, ordered coffee - I went ISO - the man behind the counter directed me downstairs - there were two men waiting on steps at the bottom - the one utilizing left, then the other two took their turns - the young ‘custodian’ noticed me - gestured that I stay back, as he sloshed water - when I was allowed around - hole in the floor with “footprints” {felt as though I was back at Parris Island!  } - I just couldn’t, with the young man outside the entry way .................. had to wait ‘til we got back to Casablanca & the upscale hotel .................. my bladder was ready to sue for separate maintenance at that point ................. FYI, folks, as I understand it, women either “hold it” ‘til they get home, or just ‘let loose’ as they walk along the streets ................ one reason the burqas are so popular ..................

    Posted by Diamond Mair       03/22/2005  at  12:18 PM  



17. Diamond,

    When I was hitching around in N. Africa, it was 1972 and the Muslim/infidel business didn’t seem as polarized as it is today.  My girlfriend at the time went in the same squatters as I did, with no problem.

    Re the “go on the move” burqas - The Djelabias that most men there wore have plenty of room in them as well (I bought a good wool one when I was there & got a lot of Halloween mileage out of it for a few years).  Once when we were stuck hitching in the same spot, I noticed a man squatting for a while a few yards down the road, on the side.  I wondered what he was doing there, but didn’t pay him much mind, until he arose and departed quickly.  You can imagine what he left behind - the proverbial steaming heap, but it was too warm to steam.

    We moved on as well.

    Bowpet

    Posted by bowpet       03/22/2005  at  08:51 PM  



18. Back when I was going to college, we had a bunch of exchange students from Iran. In fact, I once had an Iranian roommate who was a Palestinian from Kuwait. He and his buds would huddle quietly in front of the TV, which they’d turned up real loud so the CIA couldn’t hear them discussing the latest stuff they’d read in the propaganda rags from back home.
    Anywho, come winter you’d go into the stall to find muddy footprints on the seat where one of the furriners had squatted on the toilet. And every now and then you’d hear a loud thump and furrin cursing as one of them slipped off.

    Posted by Anachronda       03/22/2005  at  09:05 PM  



19. BowPet, back in ‘95, it wasn’t that bad either, except for ‘dirty looks’ a blue-eyed, blonde female {me} would receive for wearing jeans & T-shirts ................ the begging, which is so common in so much of the world, was kind of a shock {standing in front of a restaurant, looking at the menu taped to the window, & a FILTHY, smelly hand comes between you & your companion, and “Baksheesh” is rumbled over your shoulder .............. kinda puts the kibosh on appetite ...........}
    Anachronda, when I was in “A” School in 1977, at Naval Air Station Millington, Iranian & Kuwaiti military officers were also attending .................. we were asked to make them welcome ................ the Kuwaitis were VERY friendly - but the one Iranian I tried to chat with was downright monosyllabic ................. dunno if he didn’t like women/didn’t like women in uniform/didn’t like women in men’s uniforms {I wore what used to be called ‘sateens’, solid green men’s utility uniforms, & combat boots (size 4)} .............. hadn’t thought of THAT in years - thanks for the memories!!
    Semper Fi’

    Posted by Diamond Mair       03/22/2005  at  09:21 PM  

Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.