schoolgirl described as “fit, healthy and popular” killed herself because she felt fat and ugly.
on 11/26/2008 at 11:18 AM
This girl was certainly not fat. Ok, maybe she wasn’t drop dead gorgeous, but she was 13 for heaven’s sake. An age of potential, and blooming. She could have grown up to be quite nice looking. This is very sad.
Parents, you have a fight on your hands. Everything is image these days, and the drive to be popular is even stronger than it was when we were that age. Find some non-patronizing way to get the right message across. And make sure you get that message out all the time.
That’s the word I needed Drew. “Message” I think the one these poor dupes are getting is a very false one. And this isn’t the only story of it’s kind this week. Never mind last month.
I can hardly have said it better myself, you two.
This story is one that I personally can connect to, as I happen to have a sister who is very much like those teens, struggling to live up to the impossible against some mutated perception of themselves that they can never live up to.
It just shocks me how many toss everything away.
Sickening.
And to top it off? We now know that Ms. Drew is getting off with a slap on the wrist legally.
It just disturbs me how cheaply we value life, history, facts, reason, and morality.
Instead, we enshrine a cult of the opinion, of the irrational, of the illogical, of the superficial, and of the materialists.
When nothing is sacred or forbidden, anything is fair game.
Somebody can kill themselves on a whim, slander millions falsely and then retreat behind the walls of “opinion”, commit treason and then retreat behind the walls of “free speech”, and truth ceases to exist, instead being subverted to countless opinions instead of those opinions subverting themselves to empirical truth, research, and study.
It is times like these that I weep for the West. For Freedom is not long left to the weak and cowardly.
Or to those who value nothing.
My prayers to the girl, her fellow teenagers who left us in the prime of life, and their families and loved ones.
Posted by Turtler
11/26/2008 at 05:26 PM
I just don’t understand. My heart goes out to the family. And the girl, who threw away the potential of a life. For what? Image?
I don’t get where these ‘perceptions’ Turtler mentions come from.
Don’t get me wrong, I grew up in the television era, but, for some reason ‘image’ never hit me or my sisters like this. I’ve dated thin girls, fat girls, and girls in between. Granted, a nice body might initially attract me, but I can’t tell you how many girls I either didn’t date at all, or stopped after the first date, because their ‘inner beauty’ didn’t match the outer beauty.
They were just plain mean girls.
I suspect that might be true in this case. It wasn’t the guys making fun of her, it was the girls. She’s too fat, doesn’t wear the right clothes, etc.
I remember a girl I knew at about the same age. Her name was Doris, but all the girls called her ‘Dorcas’. Why? She wore horn-rimmed glasses, hand-me-down clothes, and, despite the then current popularity of a shag-cut, it didn’t look all that great on her.
We kinda hit it off. She was smart, in the ‘nerd’ sort of way, like I was. And, bonus, she played chess! Not as well as I did, but she seemed to be as interested as me. Next thing I knew, we were an item, at least to the other girls. Just because we would spend part of our lunch break over my pocket chess set, the girls would march by singing:
Chris and Dorcas
Sittin’ in a tree
K I S S I N G ... etcWell, you get the picture. No guys ever gave me any grief for spending time with Doris.
I don’t know if that ‘teasing’ did anything to Doris. Her family moved away after that year. Never saw or heard of her again. But before that, together we started the jr high chess club that’s still in existence over 30 years later.
Research: Just for Turtler, I did some research. I dug out my old jr-high yearbook. Doris had a definitly nice shape under those hand-me-down clothes. I knew that, of course. One other thing we did together was work on the 8th grade yearbook. I was a photographer/layout, she did layout.
(Which ended up badly for the same reason… the teacher who was sponsoring us committed suicide because of ‘image’ issues. Why? I don’t know. Fortunately, she did it the year after we put this yearbook together.)
BTW, if anyone was teased more than Doris was about our relationship, it was me. I was teased by my parents and sisters. Looking back, Doris was the first girl I ever called on the phone, and who called back. Constantly. Yet we never dated. I was too young to date, according to church guidelines. Group activities would have been acceptable, but she was of a different faith. Our activities were the chess club and yearbook.
I think I know the problem.
Nowadays, kids are taught ‘self-esteem’.
Note that, as taught, self-esteem is divorced from things like achievement, accomplishments, etc. Doris had accomplishments. So did I.
No, nowadays, self-esteem is a right. So, don’t ‘dis’ me bro. I’ve a right to respect!
Actually, no. You don’t have a ‘right’ to be respected. Respect has to be earned.
I think that the ‘self-esteem’ movement is responsible for her suicide.
No, really. I can give another example. An accomplished woman who ultimately commited suicide over such ‘self-esteem’ considerations.
My favorite female vocalist, Karen Carpenter.
Looking back over this post, I see several ‘holes’ that will give Turtler a hard-on.
Ooops, sorry. I promised Drew I wouldn’t antagonize…
Then don’t, m’kay.
Personally, I’m still trying to figure out the “Ms. Drew is getting off with a slap on the wrist legally” part.
I don’t get where these ‘perceptions’ Turtler mentions come from.
Well, trust me, you have the luxury of not living on the Left Coast. Thank whoever you must for it, ‘cause the problem is endemic here.
Research: Just for Turtler, I did some research. I dug out my old jr-high yearbook. Doris had a definitly nice shape under those hand-me-down clothes. I knew that, of course. One other thing we did together was work on the 8th grade yearbook. I was a photographer/layout, she did layout.
Interesting. Now, if only you could realize that there is a difference between commenting on a high-school crush and stepping on a land mine that is an affront to millions of those who died to allow you to not salute Der Kaiser before lunchtime…
But it is an improvement, I guess.
Note that, as taught, self-esteem is divorced from things like achievement, accomplishments, etc.
Not always. Self-Esteem is, by rote, one’s opinion or state of mind regarding oneself. Thus, it it independent of achievements, or lack thereof.
In other words, more achievements do not necessarily mean that person has low self-esteem, or vice versa. At the same time, one may derive a high self-esteem from accomplishments real or imagined, or may suffer from low self-esteem for failings or imperfections, both real or imagined.
Of course, this is not a given.
For instance, what does it tell us about an individual’s self-esteem if they go off making ignorant, offensive declarations regarding things they have no idea about and then go off saying that their “opinion” is justification enough to excuse the classless and ignorant smear on millions who died to allow him to hold an electoral ballot for some other reason then reporting it to the local Reichwehr commissioner to track down the miscreant?
Absolutely nothing.
It may tell us a considerable amount about their intellectual integrity, their decency, their sense of respect, and their honor, but it tells us nothing about their self-esteem at all without supporting evidence.
Thus ends the example.
I see several ‘holes’ that will give Turtler a hard-on.
Hard-on? Actually no. However, you are correct that I am a male.
Which would raise the accuracy of your predictions up to… roughly 1/20. Surely a great improvement.
Ooops, sorry. I promised Drew I wouldn’t antagonize…
Then I suppose you have a time machine ready to go back in time and mug your past self before they make the astronomical mistake of dumping all over millions of men and women who gave their lives for you, or at least back in time to recognize your error and apologize to the dead and those few still alive?
If not, then I would have to say it is a little bit late for that.
Posted by Turtler
11/26/2008 at 09:50 PM
Sorry Drew, I didn’t realize this was a comment rather then a PM. In any event, here is my response in yet another place.
Then don’t, m’kay.
Please let him, Drew. It allows me plenty of opportunity to return fire.
Personally, I’m still trying to figure out the “Ms. Drew is getting off with a slap on the wrist legally” part.
It was a reference to the “charming” Lori Drew, who was just sentenced today and whose act was so heinous that she managed to do the unthinkable- unite almost the entire Internet against her,
Again, sorry if this is a repeat, as I have mentioned this in the PM.
Posted by Turtler
11/26/2008 at 10:37 PM
Hey, the instant speed of being online! I was just coming back here after reading your email and looking that woman up, to remind other readers that Lorie Drew was the woman who “got revenge” for her daughter on some other girl by pretending to be a boy who liked her online and then dumped her in the worst way. That other girl killed herself. Today Drew was found guilty of 3 minor charges and will have to pay a fine. If she loses her appeal.MSM called her the MySpace Bully
The woman is a total vindictive scumbag, but being that way isn’t actually against the law.
So that part of Turtler’s comment #3 takes this thread into even deeper water. There are obvious dangers with those social networking sites.
The woman is a total vindictive scumbag, but being that way isn’t actually against the law.
Well, the main issue with Drew is that she KNEW the family, KNEW that the girl was suicidal, KNEW that she was overly-dependent on outside affirmation, and KNEW how to get in contact with her.
That takes us A LOT closer to premeditated murder than somebody insulting the memories of millions of dead soldiers, or a shouting match at a bar.
Posted by Turtler
11/26/2008 at 10:56 PM
By Drew, I mean the Fitch, not our lovely Supermod here.
Posted by Turtler
11/26/2008 at 10:56 PM
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