Lawyers Have Feelings Too
Oh No. The St. Pete TIMES is delivered to my home. A terrible waiste of trees. Now the courts are going to order me to change my name to Z-Pussy.
Sure, OCM’s name is just fine, figures.
Posted by Z Woof
11/21/2005 at 08:43 AM
How about drooling idiots? No, of course not. That’s reserved for the Florida Supreme Court. Buncha Woosies. I’ve never called a lawyer “pit bull”. I have more respect for dogs than that.
One of the local
ambulance chaserspersonal injury lawyers styles himself as a tiger “If you’ve been injured, you need a tiger on your side!” I wonder if that’s more acceptable to that panel of idiots with nothing better to do. I see nothing wrong with the “Pit Bull” name that these enterprising guys have assumed for themselves.Pond scum just doesn’t have the same ring.
I’ll be first to tell this joke, if it’s OK?
A group was shipwrecked on an island. Crates of supplies had washed up on a nearby island, across a shark-infested channel. The lawyer volunteered to get them. As he swam across, the sharks lined up, three on either side of him, and escorted him.
One passenger asked, “What the hell was that?”
“Professional courtesy.”Posted by Oink
11/21/2005 at 09:03 AM
Another Lawyer Joke, if it’s OK?
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
Posted by Z Woof
11/21/2005 at 09:33 AM
And they’re off and running ... The Skipper will be posting today’s SacredCowburger soon.
A group of terrorists have seized an airplane full of lawyers. The Mad Dogs are threatening, until their demands are met, to realease one every hour.
Posted by Oink
11/21/2005 at 09:45 AM
When the Skipper is away....
Italian Love Song
When the moon hits your eye
Like a big pizza pie
That’s amore.When an eel bites your hand
And that’s not what you planned
That’s a moray.When our habits are strange
And our customs deranged
That’s our mores.When your horse munches straw
And the bales total four
That’s some more hay.When Othello’s poor wife
She gets stabbed with a knife
That’s a Moor, eh?When a Japanese knight
Used a sword in a fight
That’s Samurai.Wait, there’s more..........
A rope goes into a bar. The beertender kicks her out, saying, “We don’t
want your kind in here.” So the rope ties herself in a knot, frizzes up
her ends, and tries again.The beertender says, “Hey, aren’t you the rope I just threw out?”
The rope answers, “No, I’m a frayed knot.”
Posted by Z Woof
11/21/2005 at 09:59 AM
This is totally illegal now with the new rules here.
Maybe the Skipper won’t notice.
An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City . . .
. . .with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said, “Fluctuations.”
The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, “Fluc you Amelicans, too!”
Posted by Z Woof
11/21/2005 at 10:07 AM
I think of them as oxygen thieves!
C’mon guys! There are only two lawyer jokes in the world; the rest are the truth!
I turn my back fer five minutes and the inmates start burning down the asylum. Double-dose of valium and xanax for everyone, nurse! STAT!
C’mon guys! Come up with better jokes! This is a classy joint!
BWAH-HAH-HAH-HA-HA-HA-HA ....
OK, OCM! You won that round!
What’s black and brown and looks good around a lawyer’s neck?
A Rottweiler!
Valium & Xanax for everyone - lawyer jokes are so passe’...............
Posted by Dottie
11/21/2005 at 08:35 PM
No self respecting shark would EVER want to be compared with a lawyer!
And Z I I’ve got one for you:
When Catholics do the offering they draw a big circle on the floor and everyone throws their money in the air. Whatever lands in the CIRCLE belongs to God.
In Protestant services they throw the money up and whatever lands on the SEATS belongs to Gods.
And at Jewish services they throw the money up...and whatever God wants He keeps.
“If you’re swimming in a creek-
And an eel bites your cheek-
That’s a moray.”Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
11/22/2005 at 03:04 PM
Barb: that reminds me of another lawyer joke! Thanks!
An elderly miser wanted to prove he could take it with him. He gave his Preacher, his Doctor, and his Lawyer each $3000 with instructions that the envelope was to be tossed into his grave before it was covered up.
At a bar, after the burial, the Preacher confessed that he had slipped a thousand out of the envelope: the Doctor confessed to keeping $2000. The Lawyer said,
“Gentlemen, I’m ashamed of you! I put in my personal check for the full amount.”
Posted by Oink
11/23/2005 at 01:39 PM
11/21/2005 at 10:24 AM
