Captain’s Mast
THE GENTLEMAN’S PAGE: A Practical Guide for the 19th Century American Man
In the Presence of Ladies“Chesterfield says, ‘Civility is particularly due to all women; and, remember, that no provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman; and the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours; nay, even a little is allowable with women; and a man may, without weakness, tell a woman she is either handsomer or wiser than she is’”
http://www.lahacal.org/gentleman/ladies.html
Posted by Oink
02/22/2006 at 11:18 AM
Uhhhhhh, OCM? What, exactly, is your criteria for “old farts”? Is it strictly age-based, and if so, what’s the minimum? Is it gender-specific? Inquiring minds need to know .........................
Posted by Diamond Mair
02/22/2006 at 11:52 AM
It saddens me that so many people prefer blunt crudity to to polite discussion. But, it’s not just on the net. People seem to be ruder and more demanding all the time. I’m trying to teach my daughter to be polite even when she disagrees vehemently about something.
It’s tough to do, I have a very short fuse on my temper; and, as I’ve gotten older I tend not to “suffer fools gladly” anymore. But, I’m learning to smile politely and leave the idiots to stew in their own venom. Saves me a lot of annoyance! And keeps my
healthy.
“The Dirty Dozen”
(the Major, Lee Marvin; Maggot, Telly Savalas
Major Risman: “Now, are there any questions?”
Maggot: “Sir, Do we have to eat with nig**rs?”
Major Risman (outside the door, over the sounds of a huge brawl): “It’s all right, Sergeant. The gentleman from the South made some kind of inquiries about the dining arrangements. He and his colleagues are discussing the place-card settings. All right?”Posted by Oink
02/22/2006 at 12:41 PM
Casting call! We will now begin shooting this scene outside, in the parking lot. The only roles that have been decided are: The Skipper as Lee Marvin, me as Jim Brown. The role of Private A.J. Maggot will be surprise. So, if you BMEWS males will accompany me to the parking lot..?
The women can wait here until we begin shooting the “Party Scene—Night Before Mission”
Posted by Oink
02/22/2006 at 01:06 PM
*SIGH!* I had the privilege of meeting Telly Savalas when I was 16 - he was in Northern VA spending Easter with his brother’s family - we’d stopped at a drugstore on Easter Sunday - I was waiting in the car - my Dad came out & said you won’t believe who your brother just shook hands with - Telly Savalas - of course, I had to rush in - as I was entering, Telly was leaving - I ran out & extended my hand - he took it & kissed it - I almost swooned - at that point, I’d not seen ”The Dirty Dozen” - ”Kojak” was not yet on the tube - the only role I knew him from fer sure was in ”Birdman of Alcatraz” - but when ”Kojak” aired, you can bet I was glued to the set!
Posted by Diamond Mair
02/22/2006 at 01:16 PM
Also, Skipper - these things tend to run in cycles - as a founding member of a Marine Message Board, and then the split of that Board into two, a year ago - there are some from both “sides” who seem to feel the need to bait/argue with each other still, going back & forth between Boards - our WebMaster has had to resort to suspending privileges for periods of 2 days to indefinitely ......................... personally, I think we’re all just ready for Spring!
Posted by Diamond Mair
02/22/2006 at 01:23 PM
Whatever happened to good old-fashioned walking the plank, keelhauling or thirty-nine lashes
*Peacenik moonbat ON*
“Why can’t we be friends. Why can’t we be friends...”
*Peacenik moonbat OFF*Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
02/22/2006 at 02:37 PM
Annoying the monkey, at least it’s better than spanking the monkey…
Unfortunately, the ones who need to abide by *the core rules of netiquette* the most, won’t read it, and if indeed it is read, will think themselves above it.
All
to the annoyed
before 
Posted by SouthernDoll
02/22/2006 at 03:36 PM
EroticDoll, you’ve been in this situation before, too!!
Posted by Diamond Mair
02/22/2006 at 04:04 PM
DiamondMuir
“this situation before?”...oh yes! i have been an annoyed monkey girl before
i hope your s-i-l is doing well, he is in my prayers
Posted by SouthernDoll
02/22/2006 at 04:16 PM
Posted by Oink
02/22/2006 at 04:18 PM
Don’t piss off the monkey. The Skipper doesn’t have a parrot. He has a grumpy monkey so you better bow down to him (and toss in a banana every once in a while).
Seriously, it seems that about every six months the crew gets restless and I have to break out the belaying pins and the cat o’ nine tailes. Then everyone calms down for another six months.
What some of you people do without me? I am your host, your chef, your psychiatrist, your best friend, your drinking buddy and ... your mommy. All for free! DAMN! I’m tired! And poor! So settle down or walk the plank! ARRRHH!
Re: “The Dirty Dozen”
I always have tears in my eyes at the end of the movie. When Jefferson gets shot while dropping grenades down the bomb shelter air vents always gets to me.
Posted by MAJ Mike
02/22/2006 at 05:15 PM
Hey Oink - I noticed that you quoted from the “Practical Guide for the 19th CENTURY American Man”. Now, I’m certain that ladies existed back in the 19th Century...but they are a VERY RARE find in the 21st Century.
I quit being a “gentleman” the day I realized that the feminine gender will willingly and eagerly hamstring you with that antiquated notion. Don’t even get me started about the topic of equality!
shin: I’m not sure. Been out of the market too long. My Dau/law told me her female workplace peers are trying to act out “Sex & The City”, with the expected abyssmal results. My daughter is 26 and not married finally has a boyfriend she’s crazy about**. Meeting her boyfriends was like getting to know the new lieutenant in Vietnam—something you avoided in order to save yourself pain.
My two sons are unlike brutish Stanley Kowalski (Brando in “Streetcar Named Desire") but are “real men”. Don’t ask me what it is, but I know it when I see it; honor and the ability to shut up about yourself are involved. They had girls tripping them and beating them to the floor. Several girls then moved on to the next trophy. I don’t think it’s been easy since arranged marriages were abolished.
**Another damn Asian, my two sons married Asians. They’re like potato chips, you can’t stop with just one
Posted by Oink
02/22/2006 at 07:39 PM
*ham*string....ha!
sorry Oinky
Posted by SouthernDoll
02/22/2006 at 07:43 PM
oink: my little brother married an asian. she is my favorite sister-in-law. i get this great respect from her because i’m the older brother of her husband’s. It’s Chinese Rules that i am always right. i like that. what a great culture.
Skipper: let’s don’t get carried away with all this political correctness like cbs news. we are different. we are better. if i want to say that my guitar wants to kill ocm and eroticdoll, because she is 5’4 and 210lbs, i should have that right. it’s called freedom of speech. sure i’ve been kicked off of every blog i’ve ever been on. just today i was banned from The Health Care Blog (THCB) for talking about fat women. Damn fat women are really throwin’ their weight around. I bet the odds be 50% to 50% that I might have something to say. thanks Skipper for not bannin’ me yet.
My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
You know, your mama and your daddy
Saying I’m no good to you
They call me dirty from the alley
Till I don’t know what to do
I get so tired of sneakin’ around
Just to get to your back doorI crawled past the garbage and
Your mama jumped out, screamin’
“Don’t come back no more”
I can’t take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me madLater I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren’t there
She told me don’t bother to call again
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin’ around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and
Your mama jumped out, screamin’
“Don’t come back no more”Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren’t there
She told me don’t bother to call again
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin’ around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and
Your mama jumped out, screamin’
“Don’t come back no more”
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad
Posted by Z Woof
02/22/2006 at 08:10 PM
Ah yes, the dung thowing, hair pulling, biting, foul tempered monkey that you just don’t ever mess with, unless you’ve got one of his paws hanging from a leather strap around your neck. What comic mentioned that one?
NOW IMPRESS HER BY SHOWING HER YOUR CHEST
What on earth IS your major malfunction? Other than being rude and obnoxious. It’s very tiresome.
Posted by Oink
02/22/2006 at 08:51 PM
OCM...i often ask taller people to reach high things for me if i am at a store, at 5ft 1 and 3/4 inches( oh! and 113.5 pounds, and worth every bit of it in gold) it is a neccessity for me...so you did a wonderful thing for that little old lady
p.s. are the banana *smileys*...i looked , but i don’t see any?
Posted by SouthernDoll
02/22/2006 at 08:51 PM
Oinky?? that picture has GOT to be a malnourished figure skater( the outfit)...or...a transvestite? or perhaps an anorectic girl? lawd ha’ mercy
Posted by SouthernDoll
02/22/2006 at 09:08 PM
Um-not to sound over sensitive or anything BUT I’m struggling a bit with the old eating disorder and that photo kind of gave me the willys.
thank-see.Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
02/22/2006 at 10:03 PM
NO COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Dottie
02/22/2006 at 10:25 PM
Am on Skipper’s sh** list.........
Posted by Dottie
02/22/2006 at 10:26 PM
OCM -
Posted by Dottie
02/22/2006 at 10:37 PM
Bedtime for me
i will sleep peacefully tonight....
Manners and common decency go a long,
virtues that have *nothing * to do with PC, F.O.S., left or right.
Sweet dreams everyone and best wishes !
i enjoy and delight in the exchange of ideas with you
This is one of the , if not THE best, most unique, blog(s) on the web.
Posted by SouthernDoll
02/22/2006 at 11:48 PM
Doll: You are so correct. I’m glad to hear you are 113 lbs. I was banned from redstate.org for making a negative comment about Ted Kennedy. At redstate.org they let Deaniacs badmouth our President but ban me for a negative Ted Kennedy comment. They get 1 million visitors per month and growing rapidly. They PRETEND they are Republican but really the National Association of Manufacturers (NAM) is pulling all their strings. NAM’s President is X-Gov. Engler (R-MI) who is in bed with the unions (UAW) and Blue Cross. The Michigan chapter of NAM is selling Blue Cross, so these people must be put down like the rabid dog that they are. Lucky for me that I am the HSA consultant for PHD Jerry Zandstra who is running for US Senate in Michigan. Zandstra is ahead in the polls. Every email I send to Zandstra ends with - We need one smart Senator in Washington D.C.
I do believe that 5’1” = mijnet, sorry.
By the way. When President Bush was in Ohio last week talking with the Wendy’s employees he said, “Wendy’s is one of America’s first employers with tax free HSAs.” That is wrong. Wendy’s HSA program is only one year old. I discussed that comment with Mike Foster, 7-Eleven’s first HSA who I enrolled over 9 years ago, and Mike said, “Wendy’s HSA program is with dangerous employer-based HSA health insurance. That’s still Corporate Socialized Medicine.” I introdused Zandstra to John Irvine, 7-Eleven’s President of the franchisee National Leadership Council, who I also set tax free over 9 years ago in Detroit. John and Mike’s good buddy has just been promoted to Executive Director of HR at 7-Eleven. Today I have a phone meeting scheduled with Walmart’s VP of Benefits. As luck would have it, yesterday I enrolled a Walmart employee from Pittsburgh that I met 18 months ago. Our premium was 40% less than what she was paying out of her check to Walmart. Walmart charges their own employees 40% more than the real cost of health insurance and Walmart has the balls to call it a BENEFIT, the bozos. The President is also saying, “HSA health insurance has high deductibles.” That’s wrong too. This Walmart woman is named Pamela. She now has HSA Qualifying health insurance on her family with $100 deductible on accidents that pays 100%, including Rx, to $8 million lifetime max per person. Mr. President, $100 is NOT a high deductible.
Skipper: I’ll let you know if we need to have Walmart employees come to BMEWS to go tax free. Of course you would be compensated for the extra traffic. How much would you charge? We have the technology to enroll them without anybody even talking to them. You would just get large paychecks 2 times per week. EFT of course.
I’m Iowa born, I’ve come to set you free. (Iowa 23rd / Civil War / Texas Slaves)
Kick Ass / Take Names
Posted by Z Woof
02/23/2006 at 07:16 AM
