BMEWS IN TIME MAGAZINE!?!
Hmm if BMEWS can’t be Blog of the year, at least it got some publicity in the Magazine of Stalin,Lenin and Hitler LOL.... good Going I guess..
Wow, you made the big time, Skipper!
Wow! What’s next, a trackback from CAIR?
Posted by Oink
11/15/2005 at 06:29 PM
Congrats Skipper! Now don’t forget us little people when you are making the rounds of Fox News and The Daily Show.
Air America, Bill Maher, Al Franken ....
Posted by Oink
11/15/2005 at 06:59 PM
Awesome Allan! Congratulations! You deserve the recognition!
Wow! I’d better watch what I say from now on.
I am sooo not asking for your autograph.
Oink-CAIR?!!!!
ROTFLMAO!!!
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
11/15/2005 at 08:24 PM
Twerp, you may bow and kiss the ring!
Lisa, I am elevating you to princess consort.
Cannibal, sssshhhhhhhhhh ....
Robo, you are hereby knighted Protector Of The Realm ....
Infinity, you may bear the Holy Grail Of Inteligence henceforth ....
Oink, .... never mind ....
(all this and $1 will buy me a cup of coffee anywhere I want - BFD!)
I envision OCM & OINK seated on silk cushions, only partially visible in the torchlight, beside the Skipper’s Golden Throne. Whenever a Liberal raises his voice or takes a step forward, we snarl menacingly.
P.S. I wish your ring was the only thing we have to kiss.
Posted by Oink
11/15/2005 at 08:54 PM
Congrats, Allan - must run right out & purchase the mag to see it inprint!!!!!!..........Oink, save a silk cushion for me - thank you...........
Posted by Dottie
11/15/2005 at 10:14 PM
An Odalisk rates better than a cushion.
Posted by Oink
11/15/2005 at 10:23 PM
Geez, Oink, am not at my best in the pose...........
Posted by Dottie
11/15/2005 at 10:41 PM
ooppss - this pose..........
Posted by Dottie
11/15/2005 at 10:42 PM
Time magazine quoting Allan Kelly. The next thing you know his scowling face will be on the cover. What has the world come to?
Stan: More publicity for “King King”?
Dot: Are you sure? Back in those days they knew how to appreciate women with some heft to them.
OCM: Did you see the bong in the drawing? You been sneaking into the Skipper’s Harem?
P.S. An Odalisk is a member of the harem.
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 02:06 AM
Congratulations, Skipper.
[mumble] that it wasn’t the police blotter reports ... this time.
P.S. Skipper, (OINK desperately clawing out of the hole he’s dug for himself) That Dr. Hook song is one of the Great Put-Down numbers. It won recognition from Rolling Stone Mag in 1972 for doing the most to preserve Rock’nRolls’ lowbrow status. I like it!
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 02:17 AM
I’m choked up to see that my loyal fan club has not lost their edge.
This reminds me of ancient Rome where the conquering General would have his celebration parade through the streets upon returning from battle. The hero would ride in his chariot down the streets to the praise and cheers of the crowds while beside him walked a servant who repeated over and over, “You’re only mortal. You’re only mortal”.
Mvlti svnt vocati, pavci vero electi.
IIRC Oink, it got ‘em on the cover too.
I’m wondering what NewsWeak might do
towith you, Skipper.
did you expect from this crew, anyway? 
(ewe) gotta be kiddin’ 
Maybe I can get a scan of it. I’m too thrrrifty tae buy the damn thing. Oh, wait, that’s been taken care of. Nevermind.
StinK: Regarding that hole we’re in, Maybe if I got down on all four
... never mind .. anyway, you could stand on my back, jump out, then throw me a line?
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 02:55 AM
Dinnae expect tae look up ma kilt, laddie. Trrricky bugger.
Well, if either one or both of us would stop diggin’ we’d be in better shape.
Maybe if we can con the others into throwing dirt in to bury us we can pack it down and work our way up. Watch those boulders though. The Skipper thinks of
like that. Funny guy, the Skipper.
I’m just surprised that they didn’t mention one of the Moonbat Blogs considering the source.
Congrats skipper!!!! you deserve it. Keep up the good and maybe you’ll get your Fartwah for sure.
Stin: Boulders? What boulders? I dinnae see any bouldrrrrrrrs here ....
(OK, lads! Bring in the earth movers. Steady. Steady. OK. Drop!)
BC: A Fartwah upon me! Perish the thought!
They wouldn’t dare try to blow me up.
Hold on ! Someone’s knocking at my front door. Be right back ....
Skipper: OCM is becoming a problem. His POT
addiction is costin’ $250 a week. OCM sez, “I can’t Blog without weed .” OCM is worse than a crack whore. OCM said, “Just get me waisted 
and you’re half way there. When my MINDs tore-up, then my body don’t care.” 
I think this is the way that TIME says, “We have our EYE on [YOU].”
I’m glad we don’t have editors Oink.
Fuctus Democratus Homotit Saluteit (We salute the Democrats before they lose, bunch of Homos)
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 08:24 AM
Skipper: No such thing as bad publicity.
Someone’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell,
someone’s knocking at the door, somebody’s ringing the bell,
do me a favor, open the door and let ‘em in yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, maybe. They can’t get our names, can they? OOOPS, that map!
Stinkerr: A young lassie asks a Scottsman what he wears under his kilt. He invites her to reach her hand under it and find out for herself.
She does, and says, “OOOH, that’s gruesome!”
“Aye! Do it again, Lassie, and it’ll Growsum more!”Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 08:31 AM
WOOOHOOO! Congrats to the Skipper! *starts dancing to ‘Cover of the Rolling Stone’* I LOVE this song...*Grooves*
And the euro-peons and their UN fellow travellers want to wrest control of the internet away from us? From my cold, dead fingers....
Message to fwance: Va vous foutre. (translated: “go
yourself)
Message to UN:
s
Fwench military credo: Veni, Vidi, Cucurri. (I came, I saw, I ran)
LC RP
Z: I feel neglected—where’s the acknowledgement of my contribution to the Lowering of Standards? I’m glad too we don’t have editors—even with editors, newspapers cannot get simple facts straight.
Severa: It does Rock, does it not? Shel Silverstein wrote it.
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 08:53 AM
Oink: That’s not true. I was the one who asked the Skipper for more pig smileys just for you. I was beggin’ more than anybody for you to come back.
I love it when you Indiana people say, “Hoooser Daddy?” You know that.
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 09:16 AM
Aw shucks, ZWoof… But back to bringing down the Skipper! Remember that Far Side cartoon where the postman had gotten into a nest of weiner dogs? He had them hanging all over him. That’s how Our Fearless Leader must feel about his feckless crew.
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 09:56 AM
You must wear your underwear on your head like Sand Monkey, sorry OCM.
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 09:56 AM
The Skipper told me that the crew was like a Wolf-Pack not weiner dogs, Oink.
That’s a better mental picture. Poodles is probably the most accurate.
A flock of Poodles torturing OldCatMan with his own underware.
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 10:10 AM
re #9 ... Skip ... where you gettin coffee fer a buck a cup? ( the extra $0.30 I pay must be fer the Taxachusetts governor) ... never mind ...
Congradulations!
OK, it’s off-topic, but I wanted to put it where many would see it.
AP and UPI reported today that the French government announced that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender”. The raise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France’s white flag factory, thereby disabling its military.
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 11:52 AM
RE #33: No, the crew here is like being pecked to death by a bunch of ducks.
QUACK! QUACK!
"Attacked by a flock of rabid butterflies”
“Trampled by stampeding chipmunks”
“Stoned to death with popcorn”Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 12:45 PM
I think we better start diggin’ sideways, Oink. Just for safety sake. You did bring the air packs, right?
Weiner dogs, wolves, poodles, ducks (?), whatever. At least we’re not a bunch of
Carguy, go down to a Speedway station or some other place they sell mugs for coffee refills and buy one. I find that a lot of places will give a lower price on refills, even in some other company’s cup. I was up in Buffalo a couple of months ago and the price of coffee went from $1.50 to $0.59 in one place when I used my own mug. I’m not suggesting that this would work in Starbucks or the like. I bet they’d laugh you out of the place. Of course, I’ve never been in a Starbucks. Paying four bucks for a slice of mud doesn’t entice me much, either.
Have you heard the ‘blue ribbon’ joke, Oink?
I’ll let OCM stick to his own underwear ... comments. In a manner of speaking, that is.
Ducks with Fangs Skipper
BrainWashed Hungry Ducks With Fangs, Gooose Steppin’ into Global Bloggin’ History.
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 12:49 PM
Anyway, I heard that OCM wears a kilt around the farm ... so the goats don’t hear the zipper.
Now, there’s a mental image, Z Woof.
StinKerr: Colorado is knee deep in mountain climbers wearing kilts. Mountain goats have special keen hearing.
I heard that OCM rumor too and I’m glad I didn’t repeat it.
OCM is going to be rich soon so I’m staying on his good side.
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 01:03 PM
Speedway coffee? Horsepiss. I do like Starbucks Coffee, but in West Central Indiana we define Red State, i.e. Walmart but no Starbucks. Before y’all give me any crap, I got my “Real Man Card” punched for life—40 years ago.
Not heard the Blue Ribbon joke, by that name. And the kilt/zipper joke sounds suspiciously like a joke originally told on us, The Scotch. STOP! I know, but that’s the term in certain areas, especially Canada. J.K. Galbreath wrote a book by that name.
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 02:38 PM
Never heard of Speedway, and I refuse to pay Starbucks prices. The coffee ain’t that bad but, it ain’t THAT good either!
Around here it’s Dunkin’ Donuts (owned by some Fwench outfit) or Honey Dew mostly. Honey Dew is a local chain, started about 25 years ago, about 3 blocks from where I was living at the time. Now they’re pretty much all over southeastern New England.
I have had Tim Horton’s when out around the Buffalo area. Not too bad. About the same as everyone else’s.
As with most sailors I have seen (old or new), my brain will just not get up to speed in the AM without at least 12 ounces of caffene! (black mind you ... no cow juice)
“Castle Duckula, home for many centuries to a dreadful dynasty of vicious vampire ducks – the Counts of DUCKULA. Legend has it that these fowl beings can be destroyed by a stake through the heart, or exposure to sunlight.”
http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/chamb/duckula.html
You are all relatives of Count Duckula? Aiyeeeeeeeeeee! Shriek! Scream!
... Skip’s lost it! ...
Ain’t he cute? NOT a Moon Bat!
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 04:01 PM
I’ll play the sissy then, I gotta have cream or some lightener of some description in the java. I didn’t drink coffee in the Navy, but I did make damn good coffee when I was messcookin’. The
hoboslifers told me so. I’ve learned to like it more since I got out. Kona is a favorite when I can get it. I hope to try real Blue Mountain some day.A cup of that Speedway coffee keeps my hands shakin’ all day. Okay, it’s a 38oz cup. I don’t go back for more. Not right away, anyway. I ain’t tryin’ cowpiss. I’ll take your word for it.
There’s a Tim Horton’s down the street here, I haven’t tried it yet. I’m still tryin’ to figure out how Tim Horton’s got to Ohio. I’d bet that none of these Buckeyes ever heard of Tim or know who he was. DD is everywhere, I suppose. Speedway is aka SuperAmerica. I see that they’re midwest regional, now that I’ve checked. Oh well, I’ll still use their cup in Buffalo at the Sunoco station and Wilson Farms. It’s just coffee, after all, and since Americans can’t make tea properly, I’ll drink the stuff and make tea at home. No cow juice in that. I’m not English, ya know.
I wish I would have said, Jack-Booted, BrainWashed, Hungry Ducks with Fangs, Gooose Steppin’ into Global Bloggin’ History.
Posted by Z Woof
11/16/2005 at 04:50 PM
Ahhhh, Jack Boots! Now we’re gettin’ somewhere, Z!
Ve haf vays of making liberals shut up, ja?
OK, here’s the deal ... if Rolling Stone puts me on the cover, I’ll cut a CD of myself singing the Dr. Hook song, with Oink and OCM singing backup. Of course OCM will be asked to provide the “refreshments” for the band. What other songs would you like to hear on this possible Solid Platimun hit album?
Possibly a single of Z Woof singing a Zappa tune (which one, pray tell)? We can have Dottie pose in the nude (tastefully covered in bat embroidered handkerchiefs) on the cover. Sinkerr can sing “Hot Rod Lincoln”. Bulldog can sing “A Hard Days Night”. Help me out here, gang ....
Skipper And The Moonbats Live At The Filmore
How about
Barb and Lisa 
doing a duet of ”Bei Mir Bist Du Shein”? I’d buy the CD just for that!
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 06:53 PM
The Blue Ribbon, condensed version:
Scot visiting England is walking back from a pub where he has overindulged. He falls into a ditch and passes out. Early the next morning a young English lass sees him lying there. To satisfy her curiosity about what’s under the kilt she lifts it and has a peek. Being a joker she pulls a ribbon from her hair and ties it around what she there and makes her way along the road.
Our hero, waking up, needs to heed the call of nature. He hikes up his kilt, discovers the blue ribbon and says “Ah dunno where ye’ve been laddie, but you’ve won the furrrst prize.”
HA HA HA!!!!!! I HAVEN’T THOUGHT OF THAT ONE IN YEARS!
You, of course will perform “Bonnie Banks O’ Loch Lomond” accompanying yourself on the bagpipes, with a stomach full of Old Style Country Haggis.(stomach, liver, heart, lungs, suet, oatmeal ...)
LBJ & Bulldog will duet “For He Is an Englishman” from HMS Pinafore
despite of all temptations...to belong to other nations...he remains an Englishman!
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 07:15 PM
I have envisioned, for the finale, (NOT “We Are the World”!) but the “Whiffenpoof Song’!
We would all link arms and sing:
We are poor little lambs
Who have lost our way,
Baa! Baa! Baa!
We are little, black sheep
Who have gone astray!
Baa! Baa! Baa!Gentlemen, songsters, off on a spree,
Doomed from here to eternity.
Lord! Have mercy on such as we,
Baa! Baa! Baa!(Not a dry eye in the house—especially when I do an acapella Oink Oink Oink)
Posted by Oink
11/16/2005 at 07:40 PM
I’ll sing but I’m not eating the Haggis. NO WAY. Why do you think we all leave that lovely homeland? It’s the food, I tell ya. Haggis, black pudding (blood sausage), tripe, turnips ... argh
Mom had to be retrained when we got here. Lovely Italian neighbor lady taught her about spaghetti sauce. A saint, that woman. I’m forever grateful to her.
Oh, there’s the name of the group too… Maybe “The Moonbat Slayers” [small type] “featuring the Skipper”? No? Yes?
Back to diggin’ that side passage. Just in case.
Re # 57 - yeah, Skipper - for you & all the other male member of BMEWS, considering the fact that my S.O. thinks I am the sexiest woman alive, I would be willing to pose for the cover of your CD..........
.........of course you realize I am writing this under the influence of a couple of glasses of wine at this time of the evening..........and tomorrow I may not remember what I have offered.............but, what the hell - at my age I think I still have what it takes....... 
and my motto is “Go for it”!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Dottie
11/16/2005 at 09:43 PM
Skipper - If you guys sing ‘Rolling Stone’ you HAVE to sing Dr. Hook’s other great hit ‘Freakers Ball’
StinKerr - I wouldn’t touch haggis for nothing but my husband tried it during his Navy trips to Scotland and LOVED it. To each his own I guess…
As for the coffee debate, I go to Starbucks occasionally but most stops for coffee are to Dunkin Donuts (the stores are EVERYWHERE around this blue state of Maine)
Yeah, I’ve had someone tell me that they liked haggis. Apparently the one she tried was soaked in whiskey. I don’t see it making a difference for me. I’d have to be soaked in whiskey to try it again.
She also told me that she thought that most Scottish food was based on a dare. I put it down to poverty and hunger.
Oh, I thought of another delicacy - kidney. Why anyone would screw up a lovely steak pie by putting kidney in it is beyond me. I can spot a kidney in that pie from ten feet away.
Dottie,
There’s always more wine. Deny everything but show up for the photoshoot. I’ll bring the wine.
HA! That’s fantastic.
JackBooted, BrainWashed, Carnivorous Hungry Zomby Ducks With Fangs, Gooose Steppin’ Into Global Bloggin’ History.
Skipper: Per your request, TIME Magazine has been targeted for TERMINATION.
Skipper has a great big pointed fang
Which is his Zomby Toof
His right webbed foot is bigger than my other one is
Like a reg’lar Zomby Hoof
If he raids your dormitorium
Don’t try to remain aloof…Skipper might snatch you up screamin’ through the window all nekkid
An’ do it to [you] up on the roof, don’t mess with the ZOMBY Ducks.We are about as EVIL as a Blog of War can be!
Karl Rove said, “TIME Magazine has killed more poor, lonely, helpless trees, than any other magazine in American history.” Further, Rove did assurt, “I Salute the Skipper and his Freedom Lovin’ SWAT Team of heroic Zomby Ducks for ravaging TIME Magazine reminiscent of Jenjis Kahn, Senator John Kerry’s mentor.”
New York’s U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton‘s office released this statement late last night, “We now know, Karl Rove exposed the identity of the Skipper before Time Magazine. This reckless disclosure of America’s Top Freedom Fighter might hamper the Skipper’s ability to shove a boot up-the-ass of the stinckin’ Liberal Media.”
Screamin’ Howard Dean said, “All we know for sure is, there is no Hell, there is only France.
Posted by Z Woof
11/17/2005 at 06:01 AM
Attention New York Schmucks: Here we is, the Zomby Ducks.
Posted by Z Woof
11/17/2005 at 06:20 AM
FoxNewsSpew: 6:22 AM EST - Zombie ducks could be dangerous.
E.D Hill reported: Maybe not as dangerous as zombie crows but y’know. Still a threat.
Posted by Z Woof
11/17/2005 at 06:43 AM
BeerTender: Did you ever hear this one?
A flock of 681 fanged Zombie Ducks walk into a bar.....
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
Posted by Z Woof
11/17/2005 at 06:57 AM
Z-Mail: Wake Up
Don’t be lulled by PROPAGANDA.
You’ve Got Mail, that’s for sure.
Z-Duck Rule :rulez:
1. Z-Troof is like Katrina, it blows the lies away.
Posted by Z Woof
11/17/2005 at 07:07 AM
You could serve Haggis and Kidney Pie for the TIME Editors & Staff when The Skipper makes the cover. (To dust off an old canard concerning UK food. Q: Why is Scottish food so bad? A: It’s cooked by Scotts).
We could get Dot liquored up and she could carry it in dressed ala the picture in #12 above. I’ll put a large apple in my mouth and climb onto a trencher with a bed of parsley. ZWoff will prepare some sort of Duck Soup. Severa—7-11 coffee and day-old donuts. Revandryn will sing something she has selected herself. OCM will prepare a green salad.
Posted by Oink
11/17/2005 at 07:54 AM
Z-Duck Rule :rulez:
2. Carving Pig - Eat the snout and the trotters first, then the groin and the loins are then dispersed.
Posted by Z Woof
11/17/2005 at 08:15 AM
Went out to buy Time yesterday & it was already off the stands.............What to do - yes!!! Went online (Stin, take note) and found it!!!!!!!!!! Go BMEWS!!!!!!!!!!
Stin - can’t stand kidney - my ex is of English descent & I had to learn to make steak & kidney pie for him - yuck, yuck - looked & smelled like dogfood!!!!!!!
Now, yorkshire pudding - that’s great, esp. soaked with gravy - always would make it with roast beef............Posted by Dottie
11/17/2005 at 11:21 AM
Alright ... I gotta jump in here now.
My wife and I visit England and Scotland every few years. (This past June)
We usually stay in B&B’s #1) because they are usually less expensive, and #2) you get to try the local breakfast food. (#3 - you don’t need a reservation)
Yup, steak & kidney pie sux!
So does haggis and yorkshire pudding. NOTHING you can do to disguise those! Not even the best ale in the world. 
(sorry, I hate Scotch too)
For lunch/dinner we usually end up with a sandwich, fish and chips, or, one of my favorites, baked stuffed potato. I don’t know what it is, but you can’t find potato’s like that in the US.
