Allan’s New Avatar?
O K
Take a breath Allan.
Don’t go tossing us all overboard for fish bait. Keel-hauled… indeed.
Posted by DR@HDfixit
03/24/2005 at 12:36 PM
Riggs
(clamps hands over mouth)
MMMmgghh...ghhhmm!...hhhnnmmgg!!!Allan
(leans in with glint in eye)
Just one word, Jackass. One word.Riggs
Captain Crunch!Riggs runs way, covering heart and genitals as Allan methodically loads his M82A1 Barret .50 cal sniper rifle.
Posted by Riggs
03/24/2005 at 12:46 PM
Captain Bligh!
It won’t help to cover, Riggs. One shot from the .50 will make an exit hole about .... ohh .... aw, fuggit .... it’ll cut you in half, OK?
Now .... RUN!
All that’s lacking is a pair of steel ball-bearings for him to roll in one shaking hand.
Posted by Oink
03/24/2005 at 01:13 PM
See here! I know Oink and Riggs took those strawberries .. and .. and .. I proved it conclusively. Yessir, they thought they could put one over on me but I outsmarted them. That Ensign Oink has always been a troublemaker and he put the men up to that “old yellow stain” stunt. They never supported me, he turned them all against me and Riggs .. he just followed along with Ensign Oink. They all hated me, yes they did .... click .. click .. click ..
Can’t be Captain Crunch. There’s no white mustache.
Aye Cap’n!
Anyone want to step forward and relieve the paranoid Captain of duty? I’ll be Fred MacMurray—I’ll support you, then deny under oath that I ever said it.
Posted by Oink
03/24/2005 at 02:04 PM
Mr. Christian took the strawberries over the island and his local filly.....and we all know who Mr. Christian is....
Noooooooo please not Russell Crowe as an avatar, he really is a jerk in reality.
ps I think a Aragon Avatar would be more appropriate for you Allan...and his big sword
Riggs,
You mean like this?
(hopefully I can make my escape while Allan is busy nailing Riggs!!)
Oh btw if any make mention of sword in the negative, be warned, I have a large bar of carbolic soap and a whip in hand to deal to you without mercy…
Yeah I know he’s a Jerk AoF-but Damn ain’t Russell Crowe a fiiine specimine of a manly man-especially in THAT movie(one of my all time favorites incidentally)
Btw-in M&C Paul Bettany-the Dr.-is a ME-OW too!
Posted by Annoying Little Twerp
03/24/2005 at 03:50 PM
(Captain Allan removes the steel balls from his pocket and he spins them in his palm insistently as he speaks.)
Captain Allan: No, I, I don’t see any need of that. Now that I recall, he might have said something about messboys and then again he might not—I questioned so many men and OldCatMan was not the most reliable officer.
Lt. Stanley: I’m afraid the defense has no other recourse than to produce Lt. OldCatMan.
Captain Allan: Now there’s no need for that I know exactly what hell tell you. Lies! He was no different than any officer in the wardroom—they were all disloyal, I tried to run the ship properly by the book but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out that’s all right let them take the tow line. Defective equipment no more no less, but they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about steaming and circles. And then old yellow stain. I was to blame for Lt. Oink’s incompetence and poor seamanship. Lt. Oink was the perfect officer but not Captain Allan.
Ah, but the strawberries! That’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist! And I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t pulled BMEWS out of action! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer and
......(realizes he has been ranting, babbling) ......
Naturally, I can only cover these things from memory if I’ve left anything out, why, just ask me specific questions and I’ll be glad to answer them...one-by-one…
OINK JUST HAD A SERIOUS VIETNAM FLASHBACK. HE’S CRAWLING AROUND THE HOUSE ARMED WITH A PAIR OF SHEARS MUTTERING “GOOKS”!
THE CATS HAVE FLED. THE DOG IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN!
MY WIFE AND HER CAR ARE MISSING!
SOMETHING ABOUT REALIZING THAT HIS COMMANDERS ARE FUCKIN’ NUTS HAS CAUSED THIS TO HAPPEN!
FOR GOD’S SAKE— STAY AWAY !!
Posted by Oink
03/24/2005 at 04:12 PM
YOU USED TO WORK FOR FORD DIDN’T YOU !!!???
YOUR REAL NAME IS MCNAMARA—YOU’RE NOT TYHE SECRETARY OF WAR! YOU’RE THE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE ARENT’T YOU ????
BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA
Posted by Oink
03/24/2005 at 04:42 PM
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS .......
AND VILMAR’S REAL NAME IS WESTMORELAND!
BWAH-HAH-HA-HA-HA-HA .....
How ‘bout “Moby Dick” - Captain Ahab (Gregory Peck):
“Lay on your oars men. PULL!!”
“Ready harpooners!”
“O, Ye
Mighty WhaleOink!”-Dan D,
CanuckistanTo: Vilmar
Re: comment 13Dear Vilmar,
“You arrogant ass! You’ve killed us all!”
-The Hunt For Red OctoberPosted by Riggs
03/24/2005 at 05:57 PM
ALT....sorry I really can’t agreed with “fiiiine specimen”, he’s just another NZ’er who lives in Aussie.
I personally can’t get past his lack of personallity but then again maybe that is why he is an actor, so he can be a somebody once in awhile. Now Mel, he was the man in his youth for “fiiiine specimen”, he really looked great in the flesh,(he had a holiday home next right next to where I lived at the time), no studio make overs needed on him. 
*agree* slaps head
OCM...Question, you don’t swim, you don’t fly, your Ford is dead...do you own a horse and buggy????
Vilmar? VIN-TRAN more likely! See that swarthy skin, those epicanthic folds on his eyes? He probably has a beehive hat & a grenade hidden somewhere.
“I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from
a handsaw.”
Posted by Oink
03/24/2005 at 06:22 PM
How about this for an avatar?
YOUR ATTENTION, EVERYONE!
Christopher will be keel-hauled at six bells. All hands stand to. Please throw all garbage overboard to attract sharks.
THAT IS ALL!
Now Marco Ramius is a good second choice for the new avatar.
“Remember Vasiliy, One ping and one ping only”.
Allan, let’s face it, it’s time to try a new tack.
How about the original Quentin McHale for yourself, and Ensign Parker for Vilmar?
Might work....
Garbage???....thought big sharks were into Aussies nowadays....wait (leaves rest unsaid)
.
Wish there was a whistling avatar....hint hint
Guess I shouldn’t throw this into the arena as a suggestion, then?
Or how about this?After all, the actor’s name is similar…
(And no, I’m not sure exactly how much trouble I’m getting myself into, thanks for asking… whee.... )
Dammit to hell! I made my last post before I checked out Christopher’s suggestion...Woe! Always a day late and a dollar short!
The suggestion is still good, however, and I’ll get there first next time…
JSThane ..that avatar depiction has been suggested many times, over ruled and thrown out of court, no recourse, matter closed, so we have been lead to believe.
- massages OCM’s neck and back...hmmmm....horse or toyota is there a difference
In gratitude for Allan’s posting of “Invictus,” featuring my favorite sword-swinging babe, I hereby respectfully WITHDRAW any suggestion that a McHale’s Navy avatar is his appropriate choice.
The choice is obviously a photo of John Wayne as an old sea dog, from “Wake of the Red Witch!”
I agree, Archangel.
“Remember, shome thingsh in thish room don’t react well to bulletsh”.
-Marco RamiusPosted by Riggs
03/24/2005 at 07:24 PM
ApathyorFreedom:
I was unaware that particular suggestion was made before, but am not surprised. I’ll chalk it up to the fact that I’m relatively new here.
Even so, despite its irrevocable ineligible status, it does make for some rather humorous speculation…
Keelhauled eh? Might as well go ahead and suggest this one and, even better, this classic.
Or maybe I should just
.
Hats, always remember Alan wears hats. Please take this into consideration when placing your own avitar’s appearance (your image) into jeapordy. Ask Oink
Here is Cap’n Allan observing the latest wise-ass hanging from the yardarm.
Posted by Oink
03/25/2005 at 10:30 AM
Allan’s fond memories as Captain in the Royal Navy
There was severe overcrowding between decks, and hammocks had no space between, as only 14 in. were allowed between the clews. Rats abounded. As recruits to the Navy were largely impressed men, no leave was granted to prevent ‘running’. The only consolation was that in home ports so- called ‘wives’ were allowed on board, but they brought drink and venereal disease with them. Punishments were appalling - flogging was a daily occurrence and keel-hauling not infrequent. The diet consisted chiefly of salt pork.
Posted by Oink
03/25/2005 at 11:13 AM
OCM: re your #46, I liike the one where the blond chick is scratching my ears.
Posted by Oink
03/25/2005 at 11:40 AM
I’d tell her that if she gave me a blowjob I’d turn into a handsome prince. A curse like mine takes more than a kiss.
Posted by Oink
03/25/2005 at 02:32 PM
- OCm and Oink, my my what fun your children must of had been raised by each of you....must have perfect wives that tempered your humour.
My wife’s sense of humor ain’t too shabby either. One Easter she told our son that the cats lay the colored Easter eggs. He never forgave her after he shared that fact with his friends at pre-school.
Posted by Oink
03/25/2005 at 03:03 PM
03/24/2005 at 02:14 PM
03/24/2005 at 05:25 PM
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