Wednesday - October 15, 2014

the sleep walker

Sleep walking? 

I have never been a drinker. No big deal.  Just never developed a taste for the stuff.
Never cared for the smell of the hard stuff, tried some once and burned my gut.

When I was much younger, I discovered I couldn’t even drink much of something I did like. Probably a good thing perhaps.  The problem has always been my gut.  I know that doesn’t read like anything believable, but it’s true.
Remember a long time ago when there was a fad for exotic rum based drinks? Or was that just in California?  Tastes great.  Until it hit the stomach and then the pain was not even describable. I can not explain the why of it. 

I remember a day when along with friends we’d get together and buy kegs of Rolling Rock Beer.  Pabst also btw.  But even then, I could only take maybe 6 or 7 at the most. Not kegs, glasses. I’d be sort of sober but not quite, and then the pains would come. Got all the way to the chest too.  No kidding.  Just beer for gosh sake.
So what I’m saying is, I was sober because drinking the smallest amount of anything really hard, cause pain and even affected breathing.
And that all brings me to the latest installment of my existence here in merry olde England.

I discovered red wine.  Late in life I do admit.  Not only that, but this summer I rediscovered beer.  Bud to be exact.  Small bottles too. 
I still can not drink the wine full strength or even a lot of it for all the reasons above.
Anyway, I discovered that sleeping pills work much better and faster if taken with wine, and beer will work too.

As mentioned already, I had this accident which was my doing cos I got lazy and didn’t want to bother going for a ladder or step stool.  It was not a very large or even a very heavy box I was reaching for and so though, this’ll be easy.  Well it wasn’t.

When the pains started, even the aspirin / codeine combo (500 mg aspirin/10mg codeine) just had no effect at all.  And the pain was even waking me up.

Out of desperation, I raided my wife’s meds and took her stronger pain killer.
Something called Tepentadol, 100mg.  Fortunately, I didn’t have to take too many for too long to cope, and as the days went by the aspirin/codeine combo started to help.

But one early morning …. after an earlier entire day and evening of head and neck pain, that night I took my usual sleeping pill, added two Tepentadol (200mg) two glasses of wine, some popcorn to watch a movie in bed and, a beer.  Which was later followed by a second beer.  Then off to dreamland and I don’t even recall what movie I thought I was watching. I even may have imagined I was watching a movie.  Which is one hell of a trick cos there isn’t any TV in my bedroom.  But I can promise you I had no pain.  Except ….

Where things get interesting and go bump in the night.

I’m usually up way earlier than the wife, driven more by hunger I think than wakefulness.  Once up that’s it.  So every morning when she gets up, I bring her morning tea.  Often I also bring her breakfast but generally she just wants toast or a biscuit of some kind.  Sometimes she like that horrid Marmite stuff but usually it’s marmalade.  Oh yeah, something else called Welsh Cakes, which are small, thin and round cake like things. Look more like soft cookies.

So into the kitchen I went one morning last week, had the darndist hard time trying to cut that stupid and stubborn cake in half so I could put an egg in it thinking I was cutting an English muffin, which over here are now sold as muffins since they really are not English to begin with.  Never mind. I thought I was cutting a muffin in half when in reality what I had on that plate was a Welsh cake.  You do not cut a Welsh cake in half. They are too thin to begin with and crumble.  And so they did. I destroyed two of them before I realized I was not cutting a muffin.
So …. with tea and her one lonely remaining Welsh cake, I woke her up with apologies for the cake, asking her how in the world she ever expected me to get an egg inside that tiny thing.  Bleary eyed she asked me what time it was.
I turned around to look at the clock …..

It was three in the morning.

And btw … head beginning to hurt now …. time for the aspirin/codeine again.
But no wine and no beer. 

Posted by peiper     on 10/15/2014 at 09:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Fine-Dining • weird stuff •  
• Comments (6) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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