Saturday - February 22, 2014

the continuing adventure in trying to make sense where there isn’t any. the wife’s screwball cousin

Poor Brain Dead Cousin Jo. The adventure continues.
Saturday, February 22, 2014

The folks who are regular bmews readers have seen one of the things I am about to write before.  In fact … they have read it at least three times, and there’s a good reason for that.

Since there are always new folks stopping by to read this site, and newer folks who do not comment but missed the past post on the topic, it’s important to repeat it.

It isn’t enough to merely tell you how very stupid my wife’s cousin is.
I have to lead this post with an old example, although the newest which I will get to, is pretty extreme all by itself.

This is a woman so stupid and so scatterbrained, she once called us to ask how one gives oneself …. an enema.  She never, she assured us, had to do that and so had no experience, and didn’t understand the instructions. 

It all started some yrs ago when I found the woman is so dumb, she was worth writing about.  Since I do not see or speak to her as often as I once did, as she used to visit the house frequently back then, over time there have been fewer stories to share about the person I have dubbed:

POOR BRAIN DEAD COUSIN JO, the continuing saga into the witless, kooky mind of our subject.

Every once in a great while she does provide reason to share some new bit of idiot’s delight.  As happened yesterday.

The wife got a call from a very happy and excited PBDCJ, ( see above) who was thrilled to discover that the new phone she bought a couple of weeks ago,
has a speaker phone.  Which means she no longer has to hold anything in one hand to her ear. Only drawback was that the base seemed a bit heavy to speak into. Say What?

Now understand I’m party to only one side of the conversation and that means all I heard was my wife telling her, no. You don’t need to hold the base up. Put it down and simply talk.
Story does no end there.

In the very late afternoon our phone rang, I picked up and guess who.
What?  Some newer disaster?  Well, in a way. 
She called to ask me how to use her speaker phone as she couldn’t understand or recall how she discovered it in the first place when she called earlier.

Jo is the sort of person who will call and ask a question and then repeat it and then make a comment on it while all the time, you are trying to answer her question. But she generally isn’t listening to you because, she is still talking and saying the same things.

I tried telling her that since the phone was new she should still have the instruction book that comes with those things. She said she did have it.  I told her there would be an illustration showing her what each feature was and what they did. I also mentioned that usually there was a button right there on the front of her phone base.

She then started telling me at was a BT phone and the model number, blah,blah,blah.
She was still talking when I hung up.

-30-

Posted by peiper     on 02/22/2014 at 03:23 PM   
Filed Under: • Stoopid-People •  
• Comments (2) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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