BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

calendar   Monday - March 14, 2016

historical trivia

History of the Condom

I’ve always been a student of history but I didn’t know this.

In 1272, Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat’s lower intestine.

In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/14/2016 at 09:25 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorRoPMA •  
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calendar   Saturday - February 13, 2016

no content?

"No content” he says?

Arrgh, I’ve got your content, right here.

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/13/2016 at 08:07 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - February 11, 2016

celebrating multiculturalism

What goes around, comes around
It’s the camel joke, only different!


A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck.
Only a sheep, and a sheepdog, were washed-up with him.
After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. 


After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two
animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. 
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red, with beautiful
cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.


As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely
man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled
fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.


A few weeks passed-by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The
only survivor was Hillary Clinton.  That evening, the man brought Hillary to
the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus
clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.  Pretty
soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as
long as he could but he finally gave-in and leaned over to Hillary and
told her he hadn’t had sex for months.  Hillary batted her eyelashes, and
asked if there was anything she could do for him.


He said, ‘Yes! Please take the dog for a walk.’






... and Achmed says to the genie of the lamp, “yes, please hold down the camel!”

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 02/11/2016 at 08:00 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Tuesday - January 26, 2016

such power

Miss Cleo, she impressed!!

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 01/26/2016 at 06:21 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Monday - December 07, 2015

the pun husky strikes again

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Doncha just hate it when the pets are bigger book nerds than you are?


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 12/07/2015 at 12:53 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Thursday - November 26, 2015

Warming Up Some Leftover Chicken

UK Ladies Knit Sweaters For “Rescue Chickens”

“Begaawwk!"
“What’s that Daisy? Timmy fell down the well?”
“Begaawwk!! Buc buc buc!”
“And there’s a meteor about to strike the wellhead?”
“Gerracck!”
“"Use the power winch? Great idea, let’s go!!”
“Begaw!”

No, not that kind of Rescue Chicken

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No, you are not hallucinating





A mother-daughter team from a southwestern port city in Cornwall, U.K., are knitting mini-wool sweaters for rescued ex-battery hens.

Bird lovers Nicola Congdon, 25, and her mother, Ann Congdon, 58, have been providing homes for former battery hens, who were kept in tiny cages under poor conditions for the sole purpose of egg-laying.

“The chickens absolutely love them,” Nicola told UK newswire SWNS. She said the chickens have “no problem” putting the sweaters on and that they only wear them for short periods of time while outside.

Battery hens? Is that the kind that are extra crispy for deep frying? Flat beer, self-rising flour, lots of spices? No? Not that kind of batter-y?

Or do chickens now come in voltages? “Um, gimmee 4 of those AA Rhode Island Reds, and a Cornish Marauder in Lithium 9 volts.” No?

Artillery chickens? 105mm, 120mm, 155mm birds? “Sah, forward mount loaded with AP roosters, target bearing 120.3 mark, range 12,000!! Ready to fire, Sah!” What, not that kind of battery either? What’s left? Certain not chickens for beating. Everyone knows you beat eggs, not chickens.

Arrgh, some things are just so confusing. 

I’m getting loopy. Maybe I should have a bit of pie to eat ahead of time. Just to make sure they all came out properly.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 11/26/2015 at 10:41 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffHumor •  
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double birdie

Happy Thanksgiving To All

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 11/26/2015 at 10:04 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Sunday - November 08, 2015

just a break, a very brief one, from the usual

Sorry about the quality of the scan.  I clicked the right boxes but this is the best my software could do.
Tried finding the original on line with no success.  So did scan.

Anyway .... it’s the humor that counts. And isn’t this true

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Posted by peiper   United Kingdom  on 11/08/2015 at 01:33 PM   
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calendar   Monday - November 02, 2015

Via Theo’s

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See More Below The Fold

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 11/02/2015 at 12:24 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorPolitically-Incorrect •  
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calendar   Friday - October 23, 2015

free guns for everyone

Well, free for some one. One. And they probably have to be American, living in the US of A.

But hey, free guns. An AR-15 no less. With just a click of the old mousey.



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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/23/2015 at 10:35 AM   
Filed Under: • Guns and Gun ControlHumor •  
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calendar   Sunday - October 18, 2015

I had to snag this

Found it over at American Digest ... a horror story and a great joke, in about 100 words. Superb.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/18/2015 at 07:12 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Friday - August 28, 2015

the meme of mom

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A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.

Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/28/2015 at 02:51 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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calendar   Tuesday - August 25, 2015

at least she wiped it

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/25/2015 at 08:56 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsHumor •  
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calendar   Saturday - August 15, 2015

take two and grin


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 08/15/2015 at 10:02 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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