Saturday - February 08, 2020

Ewww

I went to a pizza shop where instead of tossing the dough, the guy was beating the dough ball against his sweaty hairy bare chest to flatten it out.

“That’s really disgusting”, I said to another customer. 

She answered “Well, if you think that’s bad, you probably don’t want to watch him making the bagels.”

Posted by Drew458     on 02/08/2020 at 11:57 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Monday - February 03, 2020

Sometimes I Misunderstand The Headlines

“Kate Upton Partners With Canada Goose”

Hey, it’s Hollywood, anything goes, right?

Nah, it’s some climate change virtue signalling BS

Kate Upton is partnering with Canada Goose to raise awareness on climate change with outerwear that gives back.

The model is the face of the Toronto-based luxury brand’s latest campaign for its Polar Bears International Line, which raises money for protecting the threatened bear species and how it is affected by global warming and greenhouse gas emissions, the company announced Monday.

Upton makes her debut as the face of the brand’s Spring 2020 global campaign, supporting Polar Bears International (CNW Group/Canada Goose)

The PBI collection features five spring styles including rainwear and lightweight down options. Fifty dollars from the sale of each jacket , which start at $800, will go to the non-profit Polar Bears International organization. The conservation group provides funding for polar bear environmental research and advocacy. Polar bears were listed as a threatened species in the U.S. under the Endangered Species Act in 2008 because the sea ice habitat of the bears is shrinking as a result of climate change. Canada Goose has donated more than $3.5 million to the organization, the company said in a statement.

The winter coat maker, known for its puffer jackets marked with its ubiquitous red, white and blue patch that cost upwards of $1,000, has been sported by the Hollywood crowd in recent weeks. The brand was a sponsor at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, where it handed out hundreds of its limited-edition coats to directors and actors in attendance. The exclusive jackets were gray and designed with deep pockets and a Sundance 2020 logo on its sleeve.

Deep pockets ... seems appropriate when you consider how much they charge for one of their coats.

And I’m sure climate change is affecting the poor little polar bears, giving them warming weather so they don’t freeze to death so often, and more food to eat as well. Also, I have serious doubts is most polar bears are impacted by greenhouse gases.

No truth to the rumor that on weekends Kate Upton prefers to partner with Grey Goose instead.

Posted by Drew458     on 02/03/2020 at 01:37 PM   
Filed Under: • Climate-Weather • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists • Humor •  
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   Tuesday - January 28, 2020

blurring the lines

Posted by Drew458     on 01/28/2020 at 12:03 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor • News-Briefs •  
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   Saturday - January 25, 2020

Saturday Fun

Posted by Drew458     on 01/25/2020 at 09:53 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Sunday - December 22, 2019

Sunday Funny

Stolen from Ace.

Reminds me of when I was a young pup working night crew in the grocery store. Going shopping at 2am is a trip even if you’re sober. The giant store is deserted except for the gang of galley slaves slamming stuff onto the shelves; the place is a mess with cardboard boxes everywhere, the huge parking lot is empty and spooky. Weird music is blasting from the PA system. You will see strange and unusual things, and stranger people. It’s a journey to the netherworld. Highly recommended at least once in your life. 

Posted by Drew458     on 12/22/2019 at 09:12 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - December 11, 2019

Santa’s Little Helper

Posted by Drew458     on 12/11/2019 at 02:19 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Sunday - December 08, 2019

Who Needs A Hotline Anyway?

A desperate woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff, about to jump.

A filthy deadbeat wandering by stopped and yelled at her, “Look, since you’ll be dead in a few minutes and it won’t matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?”

She screamed back, “NO! Bugger off, you filthy old bastard!”

He shrugged and turned away saying, “Suit yerself, lady. I’ll just wait down at the bottom.”

She didn’t jump.

Posted by Drew458     on 12/08/2019 at 09:33 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Saturday - December 07, 2019

a billion in equity lost so far

Actor Ryan Reynolds owns Aviation Gin. He just posted a quicky “commercial” titled “No exercise bike included” featuring the actress from that Peloton ad. Looks like she may have put on a needed pound or two. She’s out at the bar with her girlfriends, not looking crazy or frightened, just kind of sad. She hammers down one martini as they console her and toast “to new beginnings”. Girlfriend 2 gives her another martini. In the last 1/8 second of the clip, “Monica“‘s left hand comes up from under the table, and if you’re really sharp you’ll see there’s no ring on her finger.

https://twitter.com/VancityReynolds/status/1203118775815622664/video/1

I wonder if a Peloton bike is heavy enough to work as an anchor so that the body never floats to the surface?

Posted by Drew458     on 12/07/2019 at 04:23 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Friday - August 19, 2016

thanko yu for not sweating

Only in Japan!! Or by mail order!!! $42 at Japan Trend Shop

h/t to Stoaty the Weasel

Posted by Drew458     on 08/19/2016 at 09:04 AM   
Filed Under: • High Tech • Humor •  
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   Monday - July 18, 2016

back in the day

Hey, remember when Steamy had his blog running and he’d post those “when you see it, you’ll shit bricks” pictures?

Somebody sent me this one ...

... it’s been half an hour now, an I’m still not getting it.

Posted by Drew458     on 07/18/2016 at 03:46 PM   
Filed Under: • Eye-Candy • Humor •  
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   Wednesday - June 01, 2016

Never Miss A Chance To Drop A Good One

Yeah, I actually said it

So I’m painting the speed bumps here in the condo park, as you know. I’ve got the ones out on the main road done, finally. And my new signs seem to be getting the idea across. Our main road is divided; we’ve got an uphill lane 16 feet wide and a downhill lane 16 feet wide, with a little grass berm between them edged with Belgian Block. It looks good. The streets that the condos are on are not divided, but they are extra extra wide to allow for two way traffic.

So I’m on Overlook, the big loop street where most of the units are. The speed bump at the top of the street goes across the inbound and outbound lanes. It’s nearly 30 feet wide. So I mark off half of it for painting, which leaves plenty of room to get by on the dry side. And I put up my double sided bin sign, with it’s helpful “Go Around --->“ placard.  But that only blocks one side of the speed bump, even though drivers on the other side can see the signage that faces their way. I felt there should be a bit more. So I took one of my very few safety cones and put it out in the middle of that lane on the far side of the bump. Great, fine. Something for everyone, and now people coming from either side will see the sign or the cone, slow down, and swerve around them. There’s plenty of room, even if they swerve while some impatient type is barreling through coming the other way.

So I’m painting away, me and my baby 1” x 6” roller on a big long handle. Work that sticky oil paint in the noonlight sun. And I’m pleased with myself that folks coming from either direction understand what to do and are doing it. Nice. Ya got it figured out Drew. Well done.

And then two women arrive at the speed bump from different directions at the same time. Both stop and sit there glaring at each other.

I looked up, and the one stopped by the bin sign says “Who goes first?”

So I gave it a quick glance, her stopped at the bin, the other one stopped at the safety cone. “Isn’t it obvious?” I said, waving the other women through, “she does.”

“Why her? I think I actually got here just before her, and I could have just swerved and gone. Now I have to wait! And why is it obvious?” [ people suck. the wait was perhaps two whole seconds and was over by this point in the conversation. ]

“Well you know what the common rule is.” I told her, “First cone, first swerved.”

I think it’s time for Drew to come in out of the sun. Enough painting for today.

Posted by Drew458     on 06/01/2016 at 12:59 PM   
Filed Under: • Daily Life • Humor •  
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   Monday - April 11, 2016

Keep your eyes on the road, Your hands upon the wheel

New Jersey has these little light up message boards along the highways. They post traffic and weather conditions, Silver Alerts (ie misplaced senior citizens), and various safety reminders.

The one I saw yesterday was cute, reminding people that it’s against the law here to text while driving:

U DRIV

U PAY

I was going to use my cell phone to take a picture and then find a floating hotspot to upload it to Twitter, but hey, the law and all.

Posted by Drew458     on 04/11/2016 at 05:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Saturday - April 02, 2016

Seems Appropriate, Considering

see more odd stuff at MilkShake. I thought the .gif with the two Indian gunslingers was great.

Posted by Drew458     on 04/02/2016 at 06:28 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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   Monday - March 28, 2016

This was never part of Richard E. Nixon’s vision

Posted by Drew458     on 03/28/2016 at 03:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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