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Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

calendar   Friday - April 01, 2005

Update

In sad news, the Army Captain I mentioned here who was accused of performing a mercy killing on an Iraqi was found guilty.

Would it have been as merciful had hew just ignored the guy and allowed him to “die with dignity?”


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 04/01/2005 at 07:27 AM   
Filed Under: • Military •  
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We Got Wack-Jobs, Too!

The Dems don’t have a lock on looney-tunes.

I remember reading about this several months ago (not sure if we posted on it and don’t feel like searching for it) but if you recall it was about a guy who was due to enter the Army just prior to the election.

His plans got foiled when his girlfriend said she was voting for Kerry. This is what he did:

Soper dragged Silveira, kicking and screaming, into her house before throwing her to the floor and spitting on her, police reports said. Soper reportedly bit Silveira and then placed a knife in her hand and told her to kill him, because a vote for Kerry would mean he would die anyway.

Oh, and one more thing.  He’s a high school dropout and still hopes to get into the military.

If the Army takes him at least they’ll know one thing:  he’s willing to act on his convictions.  (no pun intended)


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 04/01/2005 at 07:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Politics •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Jurisdiction

image
Jeff Koterba, Omaha World Herald, NE


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/01/2005 at 07:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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TGIF Humor

Tom did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling in bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed.

“What the heck are you doing in my bedroom?...and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.”

“WHAT! Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die! I’m too young,” said Tom. “I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter. “You can only return as a dog or a hen. The choice is your own.”

Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad.

“I want to return as a hen,” Tom replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about,” he said. “How do you like being a hen?”

“Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to explode.”

“Oh that!” said the rooster. “That’s only the ovulation going on. You need to lay an egg.”

“How do I do that?” Tom asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.”

Tom clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘plop’ an egg was on the ground.

“Wow” Tom said. “That felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:

“Tom, for GOD’S SAKE! Wake up! You’re SHITTIN’ all over the bed!”

Hat Tip: Dave


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 04/01/2005 at 06:16 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Open Thread: April Fools

Your Attention, Please.

All members are hereby encouraged to deposit all of their April Fools jokes in the comments for this post. All other posts today will deal with serious issues (well .... mostly). After depositing your April Fools jokes herein, please police the area around the container and wash your hands before exiting.

That is all ....

Memo: On a serious note, I have just added a new informational page about this blog. It is in the “Member Bulletins” section in the top right sidebar and is entitled “Visitor & Member Info”. Vilmar and I will try to keep it up to date and hope it will answer most of your questions about us and this blog. Check this page often for updates and assistance. In a related story: what the f**k am I doing up at 2:00am? Sleep is good. Insomnia is bad. Zzzzzzzz ....


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 04/01/2005 at 01:36 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (47) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  
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