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Sarah Palin's enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List.

calendar   Monday - January 31, 2005

More From Money Grabbing Leftists

Officials in several states now want to add a vanity tax on “cosmetic surgeries.”

This is just WRONG!  What the hell is wrong with people who allow this sort of theft to take place?  Who’s to decide what is cosmetic or not?  What if keeping one’s job necessitates the procedure?  Where will it stop?

Just remember, this encroachment by government into our daily lives is made possible by the same people who generally do not have much of a stake in government revenue accumulation.  In other words, they pay no tax.  If they pay no tax, that means they do not make much money so this kind of stuff would never apply to them.  Therefore, they don’t care because they see it as another way for government to enrich the trough they feed from.

Lest ye forget:  when we reach the point where 51% of the population no longer pay taxes, what’s to prevent them from becoming a major force in elections to then vote themselves even more largesse---at our expense?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/31/2005 at 06:18 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
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We Need To Take A Lesson From These Guys

The Bahamians are doing it right. Illegal aliens get treated like shit and deported.  Claims of abuse by UN or human rights Gestapo types are summarily swept under the rug as, “nope, sorry, not happening here.  No violations.  Thank you for your concern.  Now please fuck off and mind your own business.”

We have a lot to learn.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/31/2005 at 06:17 AM   
Filed Under: • Illegal-Aliens and Immigration •  
Comments (3) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Starting Monday With A Laff

A guy goes to the U.S. Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, “Have you been in the service?”

“Yes,” he says. “I was in Vietnam for three years”.

The interviewer says, “That will give you extra points toward employment”, and then asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”

The guy says, “Yes 100%...a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off.”

The interviewer tells the guy, “O.K. I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00 A.M.”

The guy is puzzled and says, “If the hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., then why do you want me to come in at 10:00 A.M.?

“This is a government job” the interviewer says. “For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls.......no point in you coming in for that”.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/31/2005 at 06:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Sunday - January 30, 2005

Antidote

I apologize for our Benevolent Dictator’s shameful behavior in his recent post below ("Cause Of Tsunami Discovered!"). For those of you who are still gagging, I offer the following game for your immediate medicinal use. We’re going to play “Where’s Waldo”. Carefully examine the photo below and see if you can find Waldo ....

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 05:46 PM   
Filed Under: • Eye-CandyHumor •  
Comments (14) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

OH GOD!  THIS IS SO FUNNY!

Maybe it’s a guy thing but this had me laughing so hard I was crying.  CRYING!!!!!  Tears coming down fast and furious such that I could not see the keyboard for a couple of minutes.

Have fun.  And thanks! Joanny!!


An MRE Story by Frank Rodgers

I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to “Cook her something she’s never had before” for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY never eaten.

I got out my trusty case of MRE’s. Meal, Ready-to-Eat. Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories. Here’s what I made:

I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-King, and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice. I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sauteed in shaved garlic and olive oil.

In another pot, I blended the Chicken a-la-king, noodles, and rice together to make a sort of mush that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added some spices, and blended everything together in a glass pan that I then cooked in the oven for about 35 minutes at 450 degrees.

When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops, and a bed of yellow poop. I covered the tops of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like velveeta) and added some green sprinkly thingys from one of my spice cans (hey, if it’s got green sprinkly thingys on it, it looks fancy right?)

For dessert I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed ‘em up, added five packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream, and some water. I heated it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous organism, and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it. Voila--Ranger Pudding.

For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named “Military Special"--it sells for $4.35 per fifth) and mixed in four packets of “Electrolytes - 1 each - Cherry flavored” (I swear, the packet says that). It looked like an eerie kool-aid with sparkles in it (that was the electrolytes I guess… could’ve been leftover sand from Egypt).

I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle, and set the table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy-series China (that shit is fucking EXPENSIVE… my set of 8 place settings cost me over $600), and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter.

She came over, and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE spaghetti-with-meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the food, and said “This looks INCREDIBLE!!!”

We dug in, and she was loving the food. Throughout the meal, she kept asking me how long it took me to make it, and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking fine meals. She kind of balked at the makeshift “wine” I had set out, but after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses during dinner.

At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed with delight at the “Chocolate mousse” I had made. Huh? Chocolate what? Okay… yeah… it’s Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make… yup.

Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my restroom. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself “uh oh” and a resounding but petite fart punctuated her utterance of dismay.

Let the games begin.

She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air Freshener, 1 each, Orange scent. Yup. The Army even makes smellgood) and returned to the couch, this time with an obvious pained look.

After 10 more minutes she excused herself again, and retreated to the bathroom for the second time. I could hear her say “What the hell is WRONG with me???,” as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the porcelain bowl. This time, they sounded kinda wet, and I heard the toilet paper roll being employed, and again, LOTS more air freshener.

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest, kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn’t come out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn’t want her to hear me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks. She came out with a slightly gray palor to her face, and said “I am SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am so embarrassed, I can’t believe I keep running to your bathroom!!” I gave her an Immodium AD, and she finally settled down and relaxed.

Later on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had enjoyed it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her all the used MRE bags and packets in the trash can. After explaining to her that she had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of “Army food” she turned stark white, looked at me incredulously, and said “I ate 9,000 calories or dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?” After I
concurred, she grabbed her coat and keys, and took off without a word. She called me yesterday. Seems she couldn’t shit for 3 days, and when she finally did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down the hall. She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat the high caloric intake, and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her again, unless she was PERSONALLY there to inspect the food beforehand.

It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually, and said that that was the first time she’d ever crapped in a guy’s house on a date. She’d been so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears on the couch.

I know, I’m an asshole, but it was still a funny night.

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: NONE


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 05:44 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (6) Trackbacks(1)  Permalink •  

Cause Of Tsunami Discovered!

In what’s been termed as a great scientific discovery, international scientists have dicovered the cause of last month’s tsunami.

Interviews with several passengers on board a private yacht which was sailing in that area of the world late in December revealed that 4 people have been fingered as responsible for having engaged in an experiment involving water displacement.

Only recently have these 4 consented to being photographed.  A scoop from one of my friends resulted in my obtaining a copy of that photo.

See for yourselves the villains of this horrific disaster.  When asked to give a name to what they were doing, they alluded only to something called “cannonballs.”

image

(hat tip to Joanny!)


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 05:18 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (18) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Public Enemy #1

Thanks to LC Geno, we have added a new name to our Roll Call Of Evil Bastards. Ward Churchill is the Dept. Head of Ethnic Studies at University of Colorado in Boulder.

This professor wrote an essay on 9/11, that very night, and it was published the next day. As you can guess it was full of Commie, anti-American BS.There was a big stink in Colorado about it that never went anywhere at the time.

This issue resurfaced within the past few days as the pus-bag was being protested for a speaking engagement in New York. Emporer Misha gave it a right and proper rant - “Will Somebody Put This Anal Chancre Out of Our Misery?”

Thanks to LC Geno, we now have the full text of his “9/11 Essay”. WARNING! This piece of drivel is long and may induce vomiting, high blood pressure, nausea and a strong desire to visit your local firing range ....

See More Below The Fold

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 03:32 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsEducation •  
Comments (5) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Iraqi Elections

I’ve seen this on a couple of other blogs and often wondered myself:

“WHERE ARE ALL THE HUMAN SHIELDS WHO WERE SO READY TO PROTECT SADDAM HUSSEIN’S REGIME WHILE THE VOTING WAS TAKING PLACE?”

No French, German, American or ANY human shields whatsoever to protect the polling places from bombs.

I wonder why?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 01:46 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat Leftists •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Freedom Marches On

“If liberty and equality, as is thought by some are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in the government to the utmost.”
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

“Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.”
Herodotus (484 BC - 430 BC)

“Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.”
Orison Swett Marden (1850 - 1924)

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“It is hard to say that something is legitimate when whole portions of the country can’t vote and doesn’t vote.”
Senator John Kerry (D-MA) on “Meet The Press”, Sunday, January 30, 2005.

“John Kerry can kiss our collective ass.”
BMEWS Staff (01/30/2005)


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 11:32 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (12) Trackbacks(1)  Permalink •  

Iraqi Elections: Update

The polls are now closed in Iraq and one thing stands out. According to CNN, 72% of Iraqis turned out and voted. SEVENTY-TWO PERCENT. With radicals setting off car bombs and shooting at them, nearly three-quarters of the population risked life and limb to vote.

I’d say the Iraqis want a free, representative government real bad, wouldn’t you?

On the other hand, in America we’re lucky if we get 60% of the registered voters to actually come out and vote. When the worst danger any of them may face is the possibility of running into an ex-spouse at the polling place.

Did you vote last November? If not, consider yourself on probation.

From Iraq, Cigars In The Sand has your full election coverage, complete with pictures.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 10:06 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (2) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

IRAQI COVERAGE: “F**K THE MEDIA!!”

Bloody bastards have nothing better to do than distort the truth for their own gratification and to fit the mold of their politically idealistic beliefs.

BASTARDS!!!  I HATE THESE SONS OF BITCHES!!!!

“What’s got me all exercised?”

The reporting on how voting is going in Iraq.

Read this.

Let’s start here:

The war-battered country appeared sharply divided for its first election since Saddam Hussein was overthrown in the US-led invasion in 2003 that caused deep international rifts.

Gotta bring up how the rest of the bed-wetting pinko fucks in the world think, huh? “sharply divided?” Whose knife is doing the dividing, fucknuts, when most of the country is Shiite?  Your journalistic jack knife, maybe, you jack-booted media thug!!!

This one really got my blood to boiling:

But the insurgent campaign, with Al-Qaeda frontman Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in the forefront, has panicked the population and posed a serious challenge to the Iraqi government and the US-led forces which invaded in March 2003.

What a crock of crap!  “panicked the population?” Stupid bastards.  Hacks.  Incompetent.  Fit only to be ass lickers of the left.

Let’s review, shall we?

What was the voter turnout in the US in 2004?

Go on, I’ll give you a couple of minutes to look it up.  If you can’t find it or are too lazy, try this: 60.7 percent. The highest in decades which leads one to conclude we were generally apathetic for quite a while.

Continuing the review, how many terrorist scumbags threaten us at election time (other than the moonbat left with their gloom and doom cries of disenfranchisement?) Yep, that’s right!!!! ZERO!!!  None!  Nada!  Zippo!

Yet in a free country our citizenry is so goddam lazy and apathetic it can’t get its collective ass out of its barca-loungers to go vote.

But in a country that has suffered under a brutal dictatorship for decades, a country constantly under attack by its own people dead set against liberty, democracy, and freedom wanting only to oppress the general population with their version of a theocracy, comes out in numbers approaching 72%, braving bombs, bullets, mortars and rocket attacks for----------THE PRIVILEGE of voting as free peoples.

We should be ashamed!  I hang my head.

But I also heap great praise upon the brave people of Iraq.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 09:54 AM   
Filed Under: • Media-Bias •  
Comments (7) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

They Deserve This!

Our pals, the Germans, deserve what they’ve done to each other.  I chuckle.  I laugh.  I guffaw.  I roll helplessly on the floor in fits of mirth.

The scene: 

You, a female, are unemployed.

You collect unemployment insurance.

Time is running out so after 6 months of vacation and sitting on your ass doing nothing collecting almost 100% of your former wages you decide it is time to seek employment.

Your trot over to the Socialist Employment Emporium and apply for an admin job.

The employer calls you and you go for an interview.

WHOA!! Nelly!!!!  It’s a whore house and the employer wants you to spread ‘em for the Kaiser.

You are incensed, return to the Socialist Employment Emporium only to be informed that since Germany legalized prostitution, it is now considered valid employment.

In addition, because of the fuckwit who decided to abuse the a system and take his retirement in Florida Germany made modifications in its laws and reformed them such that now no one can refuse any legal job.  To do so they would forfeit rights to further unemployment compensation.

YOU HAVE GOT TO LOVE THIS!!!

These bastards deserve this kind of crap.

A Nation of Whores, indeed!!!

BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 07:58 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (6) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Which?  Who?  (Part 3)

Which?  Who?  Part 3

Okey-dokey.  Time for another session of Which? Who?

Let us know which gal you’d choose and then tell us her name.  If you don’t know, that’s OK, someone will.

So................................will it be:

Come Hither Girl?

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Sophisticated Girl?

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or, Bewitching Eyes Girl?

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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 01/30/2005 at 07:25 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (19) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Saturday - January 29, 2005

Playboy: Arab Edition

EXCLUSIVE! EXCLUSIVE! EXCLUSIVE! EXCLUSIVE! EXCLUSIVE!

CHICAGO (AP) - In a surprise announcement today, Hugh Hefner announced the first edition of the famous men’s magazine PLAYBOY to be published in the Middle East. “Hef” made the announcement at the Chicago headquarters of the famous men’s magazine while dressed in his signature pajamas surrounded by recent playmates. “Hef” said this was a chance to reach out to the Muslims in the Middle East and let them know they don’t have to wait until they murder infidels before getting laid.

In an exclusive news scoop for BMEWS, we have obtained a copy of the first edition. Below is the centerfold picture of the Playmate Of The Month for January in the new Arab Edition. All you radical Muslims can feel free to start wanking off on the count of 1 .. 2 .. 3 ..

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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 01/29/2005 at 06:37 PM   
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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