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Sarah Palin is the only woman who can make Tony Romo WIN a playoff.

calendar   Thursday - December 23, 2004

Anyone Know The Answer Tto This?

Tell me if you’ve noticed the same thing.

You can’t go anywhere today without seeing people donning rubber gloves before they do virtually anything.  This is especially true in grocery stores, delis, etc.  We get bombarded by TV, radio, and print media telling us to wash our hands often; we see notices in restrooms to the same end.

Employees have to wear hair nets virtually everywhere you go that serves food----for our protection against germs and disease.

But is it just me or are people getting just as sick today as they were when I was a kid 40 years ago and none of these protective measures were in place?  Have we become complacent?  Do we rely more on others to do what we used to normally do before?  Are we developing a race of people more susceptible to diseases because we take such extraordinary measures to protect ourselves from germs---making those self-same germs even more dangerous to us because we’ve not developed the anti-bodies to them.

Or can it be we’ve been duped into either spending money on useless measures or getting charged more money for something to offset the cost of these useless measures?

My father is fond of saying, “If it don’t kill you it will make you stronger.” I agree. We need to stop this namby-pambying we’re doing to ourselves.

Anyone got numbers?  Ideas?


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/23/2004 at 06:15 AM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
Comments (5) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

Here’s a real life version of this cult classic. 

It’s got to suck to have this happen so close to Christmas.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/23/2004 at 06:11 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Letters To Santa

These are great!  (hat tip to Jaguar!)


Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. 
yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin’ book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! 
Santa
____________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! 
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn’t they?
Santa
_________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I don’t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I’d like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad’s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he’s gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It’s time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
__________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid “Francis” nowadays? I bet you’re gay; I’ll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
_________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. 

Santa
________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do. I’m skipping your house. 
Santa
________________________________________________________________

Dear Santa,

I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Dear Timmy,

That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn’t work with me. You’re getting a sweater again.
Santa
________________________________________________________________

Dearest Santa,

We don’t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,

First, stop calling yourself “Marky”, that’s why you’re getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don’t live in a house; you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,
Santa


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/23/2004 at 06:07 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

calendar   Wednesday - December 22, 2004

Thank You GEICO Santa !!

Thanks to the GEICO Gecko Santa, this is now sitting in my driveway. Pardon me while I do my happy dance ....

HAPPY! HAPPY JOY! JOY!

image

VROOM! VROOM! CAN YOU SAY HIMM-EEEE????

335 Big Ponies Under That Hood, Boys and Gals! Whooo-hooooo ....

Oh, I almost forgot .... A big THANK YOU to Madison Square Chrysler-Jeep in Huntsville, Alabama!! Tell ‘em Big Al sent you!!


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 03:29 PM   
Filed Under: • Personal •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

A Warrior’s Poem

You media pansies may squeal and may squirm,
But a fighting man knows that the way to confirm
That some jihadist bastard is truly dead,
Is a brain-tappin’ round fired into his head.

To hell with some wienie with his journalist degree
Safe away from the combat, tryin’ to tell me
I should check him for breathing, examine his eyes.
Nope, I’m punchin’ his ticket to Muj paradise.

To hell with you wimps from your Ivy League schools,
Sittin’ far from the war tellin’ me about rules.
And preaching to me your wrong-headed contention
That I should observe the Geneva Convention,

Which doesn’t apply to a terrorist scum
so evil and cruel their own people run from,
Cold-blooded killers who love to behead,
Shove that mother’ Geneva, I’m leaving em dead.

You slick talkingheads may preach, preen and prattle,
But you’re damn well not here in the thick of the battle.
It’s chaotic, confusing, It all comes at you fast,
So it’s Muj checking out, because I’m going to last.

Yeah, I’ll last through this fight and send his ass away
To his fat ugly virgins while I’m still in play.
If you journalist wienies think that’s cold, cruel and crass,
Then pucker up sweeties.  Kiss a fighting man’s ass.

Russ Vaughn
2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment 101st Airborne Division


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 03:22 PM   
Filed Under: • Media-BiasMilitary •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

We Aim To Please

I caught Oink’s comment thread about adding a special “Oink” smiley emoticon. Not being one to shirk his duties, I immediately added the “pig” smiley for Oink. Barb, please forgive me!

I’ll add some more unusual Smiley icons for everyone else to have fun with over the next week. Any suggestions?

pig  pig  pig  pig  pig

Update: I have received numerous suggestions and have added them as well as a few others. Here they are for your viewing pleasure. Use them wisely ....

barf  - Barf

beerstoyou  - Beers To You

boobies  - Boobies

cutebutt  - Cute Butt

dickhead  - Dick Head

doggiestyle  - Doggie Style

playboy  - Playboy Bunny

threebeers  - Three Beers

sheep  - Sheep

smurf  - Smurf

monkey  - Monkey

All these are now available for you to use in comments with the other emoticons (smileys). So There! That oughta keep you perverts busy for a while. Bwah-hah-ha-ha-ha-ha ....


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 02:45 PM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (7) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

The Gloves

A nice young man wanted to purchase a Christmas gift for his new sweetheart.

As they had not been dating very long, after some careful consideration, he decided that a pair of elegant winter gloves would strike just the right note - romantic, but not too personal.

Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he went to a fine department store and chose a pair of lovely white fur-lined gloves. The sister did her own shopping, buying a pair of panties for herself. While the clerk was wrapping the items, she got the boxes mixed up, and gave the gloves to the sister and gift-wrapped the panties for the young man.

The young man sealed the package without noticing and sent it to his sweetheart, who opened it on Christmas to find his enclosed note:

“I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she demonstrated the short ones she wears that are easier to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked very sharp.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.  All my love.

(P.S… The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing!)


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 02:32 PM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

The Good News Does Not Stop

This put a huge smile on my face! Blue states to lose seats; Red states to gain seats.

Oh, Pendulum!  How I see thee swing!!!

It won’t be long now before it starts to lop off the heads of these moonbats surrounding me!

Savor this piece.  Read it slowly.  Then read it again and gloat.

BWAH! HA! HA! HA!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 02:22 PM   
Filed Under: • EconomicsPolitics •  
Comments (4) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

The Sky Is Falling!  The Sky Is Falling!

Not a day passes by where the MSM and cry-baby liberals lament the sad state of our economy.

Bush lost more jobs than any other president!

Unemployment is awful!!

Inflation is increasing!!

I still have people in this area I talk to (not too many do anymore!) who think Bush is a bad president.  When I ask them why they get struck by this stupid look and can no longer talk.

How bad is Bush?

I don’t know about you but in Florida unemployment is approaching the “unmeasurable” stage.  Jobs go begging.  The stores are filled.  Plasma TVs and flat screen TVs and monitors are flying out the department store doors.  People drive REALLY nice cars.  (These are not the actions of people suffering economically. And before you give me any shit about credit card debt, default rates are at their lowest in almost 10 years!)

Home prices here have almost doubled in 4 years with about a 10-15% annual rise in values.

The stock market is at its highest levels in 3.5 years (I am finally just now beginning to recoup the shitload of money I lost from my retirement account.  Don’t even ask!)

oil prices keep plummeting.  A month ago gas was $1.99.  I saw it yesterday at $1.67.

Don’t believe me about the economy?

Go here.

And here.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 02:10 PM   
Filed Under: • Economics •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

COUNTER-SUE!!

I hope Wal-Mart counter-sues the crap out of these barking moon-bats and wipes them out financially so they have to go homeless.

A mother is suing Wal-Mart because her daughter (a mental defective) who was a Wal-Mart employee who went on a tirade against a customer and police.

She later went to another Wal-Mart and purchased a shotgun which she used to wax herself (good, I feel the gene pool is a bit cleaner now.)

Anyway, this asshole mother is saying Wal-Mart should have known she was deranged and not sold it.  Yet Texas law says that info is private and no one can look for it.

Had Wal-Mart looked and denied the sale, this mental midget of a mother would have sued Wal-Mart for invading her daughter’s privacy.  She’d have found out about the denial of sale because after denial her daughter would have gone ballistic on the spot, caused a scene, etc.

Sue ‘em into destitution, I say!  Greedy money grubbing bastards.  And the fucking lawyers who took the case!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 07:05 AM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-Lawyers •  
Comments (0) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

What Pisses Me Off

Right now there is an interview on NPR with another asshole who has a program on NPR, Garrison Keilor.  That guy really irritates the shit out of me and I just realized it was not just his politics (he’s a flaming panty waisted liberal) but his VOICE!

Do you get as irritated as I do at the voice of so many liberals?  It’s hard to describe but usually it is “quiet” “soft”, “lilting” and very condescending sounding.  No trace of character, leadership, courage, strength.  Like a mother talking down to her child after he flings the pet gerbil or hamster up against the wall:  (I’ll type this softly so that you get the effect) “now Timmy, you know you shouldn’t do things like that because the gerbil is a living creature which has rights and feelings.  Go apologize to it and give it a little kiss to make it better.  Mommy’s going to take a valium now.”

Hard to describe but I think you know what I mean.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 07:00 AM   
Filed Under: • Miscellaneous •  
Comments (6) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

I Don’t Care

When it comes to this sort of bullshit from the ACLU, I really do not care anymore.

Just who the fuck does the ACLU think it is?  The World Court?  Last I checked it was A(merican) C(ivil) L(iberties) U(nion) not TCLU T(errorists) C(ivil) L(iberties) U(nion)

So what if these assholes were hog tied?  Or threatened with being shot? Or threatened with snarling dogs? Or beaten.  Yes!  Beaten!  To within an inch of their miserable fucking lives as far as I am concerned.

Why do I feel this way?  Because the pressure shit heels like the ACLU have brought upon the military in the treatment of detainees ahs resulted in many of their release---only to go RIGHT BACK to what they were doing before---joining a terrorist movement.

Kill ‘em all!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 06:49 AM   
Filed Under: • Judges-Courts-LawyersTerrorists •  
Comments (6) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

Something Stinks In Washington State

You should all be aware that the race for governor in Washington state is tight.  So far, the Republican, Mr. Rossi has a slim lead after a couple of recounts.  But Dummycraps are already saying their candidate, Gregoire, has won by 8 votes.

So what’s going on?  The Democrats are pulling some stunts (DUH!  Who’s surprised by this?) that I believe are somewhat unethical.  It turns out about 500 ballots were initially rejected because the signatures were considered invalid.

When this recount mess started, letters were sent to 423 of the 573 voters whose signatures were not in the system.  The letters asked for them to update their signatures.

This smells a lot like the Florida mess in 2000 when Democrats were trying to change the rules.

This mess started when people in power connected to the Democrats started to rant and rave.

Something is really wrong with this whole scenario.

Whereas I can feel some sort of empathy with the people whose votes were not counted, I still fall back on the premise that every citizen has a DUTY, an OBLIGATION to make sure all their data are correct.  If they choose to use absentee ballots rather than show at a polling place, then they should also make sure that all the data needed to verify their information is correct and updated and in place at the supervisor of elections office.

After the election it is too late.  Too bad.  The one fucked is you--by you--for not doing your job.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 06:44 AM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsPolitics •  
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What The F**K?!?!?!

What kind of lunacy is this?  A braille remote for televisions?  Sorry, but if it takes braille for you to read, how the hell can you watch TV?

image

Thanks to Neal Boortz’s site.


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 12/22/2004 at 06:37 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
Comments (5) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  
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DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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