Wednesday - December 29, 2004

Zoom, Not Boom !

I had never thought that a lot of my tales involved things blowing up.

On second glance, I guess that’s so. But would you rather I tell you a story about how I discovered Marshmallow Cream?

Didn’t think so.

Now, I fished the Bering Sea for a decade. In the winter. Sun never came up. Inside the Arctic Circle mostly and more cold than you will ever know. EVER. Had frostbite twice. I have the scars to prove it.

Been overboard twice. Once at night and the other in broad ‘daylight’. Water temp is 32 or less, saltwater freezes at 28.

Nasty weather. Hey, those folks in the Indian Ocean getting hit by a 30 foot wave .... I can only laugh. I’ve seen thrice that.

Now there were good things about fishing.

I sometimes did a summer gig just to pay the bills on my beach front in OR.

There’s an emblem, embroidered, that says ‘I Skied the Bering Sea’. You could buy it out on the Aleutians and sew it to your jacket or whatever. Sort of a badge.

Insane concept huh?

Well, one June the sea went flat. Glassy. And we were all caught up with work and so it’s time for some fun.

Whales, BIG FUCKING WHALES were breaching and showing fluke all around.

Time to go ‘skiing’.

Now, I (one of my addressees is my little brother, he has also been there and done that. Hi Dan.), got to go skiing.

Here’s what you do. Take a 4 x 8 piece of 3/4 plywood with holes drilled to hold a tow rope and some handles.

Launch the skiff, small boat for you landlubbers, maybe 11 foot. And tie the ‘surfboard’ onto the skiff.

And go zoom.

Now, you can’t do this without some protection. Namely, a survival suit. The water’s so fucking cold that it’ll kill ya in minutes.

And off you go. Zooming around the whale flukes, BTW, those flukes are wider than the skiff is long, holding on for dear life. Falling off is a bad thing, because with a suit on it is next to impossible to get back on the board or in the skiff.

All the while wondering if some fucking whale is going to ... breach on ya.

Then, when you go to shore, you buy one of those emblems.

I skied the Bering Sea.

And the only boom involved was those flukes smacking the water.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/29/2004 at 06:09 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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