Monday - November 10, 2008

YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US, PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE.

YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT TO US, PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE.
Heck, I didn’t even get that far.

Due to a family medical history, every four or five years I have to go through the
bother of a Colonoscopy.  Routine and thousands are done every year and I’ve had this done in the past.  But to be honest, I have a few concerns.

When my GP gave me the paperwork to call the hosp. unit , Gastroenterology,
I was given a password.  Huh?  I need a password to call and make an appointment?
Yup.  Seemed weird ta me but hey.  If that’s how it’s done.  Stupid sounding password though but okay.

So I called and the appointment was made to ‘consult’ with the doctor who would then schedule the procedure.  Well, it was almost nine weeks before I got to see the doctor for about 15 minutes.  I was then informed that I would get something in the mail in six weeks informing me of the time and date when they would do the exam.
Ok … whenever.

I have an appointment for a medical exam on the 20th of the month.
So here’s the routine and I’ll tell ya but just between us.  I’m not sure I have much faith in these folks.  I’m certain it’s only me but …..  so here you are.

You get a letter finally setting the date and time with a request to call and confirm your appointment.  If you don’t, the appointment will be given to someone else and there’s a time frame in which you should confirm the date. 
Hmmmm, you consider that option.  Maybe you can get away with doing nothing for another year.  You really don’t want to go to the bother of this, especially when you sign that god awful paper that tells you about the things that can go wrong. 
But with a family history of Colin Cancer, always better to be seen and checked because …. ya never do know.  Right? 

So then, you call this number they’ve given you to confirm.  The line is busy. Wait a few minutes and call back but the line is still busy.  This goes on for about five or so minutes and then suddenly when you call back for perhaps the third time, bingo.  It’s ringing.  Oh joy.  It’s still ringing.  Ring-Ring-Ring.  It goes on.  And on.  No automated pick up that tells you how important your call is to them (not that you’d believe it anyway) and no request to please stay on the line.  Ring-Ring $£!!#~!*

Say wait a minute.  Did you even dial the correct number?  A quick glance at the number showing on your phone screen confirms you have dialed correctly.
Ring-Ring-Ring and by now you say aw the hell with it.  Hang up and wait about fifteen minutes and making sure you’re dialing the right number with eyes on the screen …. Bzzzzzzzzzzy!  AhhhhhhGDit %$!!£”%*.  So you wait some more and call again.  Surely this time.  Ring,ring,ring,ring, but you have to hang up this time because you have a desperate need to use the loo (bathroom to us yanks) and you can only keep your legs crossed tightly for so long.

AH … THE PAUSE THAT REFRESHES!

Now back to the damn phone which by now you regard as a mortal enemy to be overcome by whatever means.
Ring,ring,ring,ring and another dozen of the same and still nobody answers.
You get to thinking, maybe your call to confirm your appointment is only important to you and this confirms that.  Ring,ring.

Well finally you’ve had enough and so call the hospital’s main switchboard and ask if there’s perhaps another number for the Gastroenterology dept., as the number you are calling doesn’t answer.  By this time about a half hour has passed.  You ask if maybe you’re calling after hours in error.  You have to ask that because of all the stuff they sent in the mail, the instructions, the powder you’re to mix with water and drink before the exam, the paperwork and the map and the warning about mistakes etc., there are NO hours of operation listed therein.

No, I haven’t called after hours the switchboard tell me, and they do have another number for that department and will call it for me and wait on the line.
Whatever … (they never did give the other number though. Hmm, maybe it’s a secret.  Maybe they’d give it out if you send in a cereal boxtop. ) RING! Ah, success!
Someone has actually picked up the phone.  But ,,, they don’t say anything. After a slight pause they finally say …. “Yes?” In other words, they don’t answer with a dept. name.  You know.  Like for instance, “Hello, Morgue Dept.  How may we be of service?” You drop em we cart em. haha.

Well here’s how the conversation goes from there.
You:  Is this Gastroenterology?
Them:  pause …
You:  Hello?
Them:  Yes?
You:  Ah .. Enterology – Colonoscopy dept.? 
Them:  Yes.  (sounding very much put out and a bit annoyed. probably because they had to pick the phone up.  I don’t blame them at all honestly.  Who knows what I may have interrupted. Maybe something … you know … lets not go there.

Fine. It’s done. Your appointment is officially confirmed but you’re left wondering again if you really want to go through with this on the 20th.  It’s a real pain but in the end (lol) you know you must.

It’s taken over two months to get this far in the process.

Stay Tuned.  See the extended text because ..... 

Posted by peiper     on 11/10/2008 at 12:12 PM   
Filed Under: • Medical • UK •  
• Comments (1) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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