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calendar   Saturday - March 02, 2013

Unacceptable!

In which Drew has a small Vizzini Moment at the Post Office, without the benefit either of Princess Buttercup or any iocane powder


Inconceivable!

image

Unacceptable!



I got a phone call from one of my employers the other week. “Have you moved again? Why didn’t you give us your new address?”
But, but I have! I moved in the fall, and I still live at 1 _____ Clinton NJ _____-____, just like I told you!
“Well, the Post Office returned the checks we sent you, and marked the envelope undeliverable. So we want to verify your address.”
Yup, that’s me, that’s where I live, and I get mail nearly every day.
“Ok, we’ll try it again.”

This morning I get a phone call from one of the office people at his shop. “We tried again with your paychecks, but they came back. Still undeliverable.”
Ok, just leave them on the counter, I’ll pick them up tonight, and try and get to the bottom of things with the PO on Monday.

So I go down to his office this afternoon, do my work, and pick up the envelope. It was addressed to me, at my address. Proper town, proper Zip Code. But instead of using a “1” in my street address, they wrote out the word “One”. And that was more than the United States Post Office could handle. They could not deliver the letter ... even though somewhere in the postal system, a sorting machine had stamped the base of the envelope “28849 1234 01”, which is my Zip Code, my +4 Code, and my house number. (Ok, I’m making up the numbers to ensure my own privacy, but still.) So even an illiterate postal delivery person could find the proper mailbox, since the +4 system is precise enough to locate a particular part of a particular street anywhere in the country. In theory, a letter addressed to Joe, 12345-1234 should come right to his mailbox, without benefit of his last name, street name, house number, town or state. That’s what the +4 thing is all about. It’s like military GPS, only without satellites. And with fewer targeted nukes.

But no. Not my local Klown posse. Big yellow sticker on the envelope: RETURN TO SENDER NOT DELIVERABLE AS ADDRESSED UNABLE TO FORWARD. And a bunch of coded secret numbers. And a barcode. And a date that’s six days after the post mark; the letter just sat in a bag somewhere for a solid week.

Not deliverable as addressed. Excuse me? You schleps aren’t even trying. Well you are. You’re trying to be a bunch of fuck-ups. And you’re winning.

I guess the folks that try to be classy and put the spelled out house numbers on their homes - “Twenty Seven” for 27, you know what I mean - I guess they never get any mail delivered that’s addressed to 27. That’s too much for the PO. Above their pay grade, outside their reading comprehension level. WTF?

Is this a bit of protest because your bloody moronic business model bleeds billions and you’re all going to lose your Saturday overtime? So let’s screw up because we’re mad? Or maybe the word has come down that with the billions in annual losses your carriers aren’t going to get their annual $10,000 bonuses any longer, for just doing their jobs. (I bowled last summer with a sub-contracted postal delivery person, and he told us that he loved his job so much because he was done working by 11:30am every day, and got a $10K bonus every year without fail. So that’s my source for that.)

Or maybe this is a case of the waiter spitting in the tea when the customer complains that it’s cold? 3 months ago I asked the front desk lady at the local PO to stop delivering the mail for the previous resident at our address, since she had moved out months before that. I had some little form to fill out that said that my wife and I were the only people living at this address. That cured the problem ... for about a week. I still get more mail for the previous resident than I do for myself, and she hasn’t lived here for at least 9 months now. I always leave it in the mailbox, and put up the little flag like I’m supposed to, and about half the time or less that mail gets taken away. Only for some more of it to be left here the day after.

So now I’ve got to waste time and go down there Monday and complain again. Which probably means I won’t get my mail properly delivered for the next several years. Government union employees are entitled to revenge, right? Probably says so right in their contracts. The nerve of us citizens even asking politely that they do the jobs that they’re so well paid for.

But OMG. “One” for “1” and they can’t deliver the letter. OMFG. Inconceivable! Unacceptable! And completely expected.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 03/02/2013 at 08:06 PM   
Filed Under: • Government •  
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