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Sarah Palin is the only woman who can make Tony Romo WIN a playoff.

calendar   Friday - October 03, 2008

Ultimate Squeegee Project, Day 2

Today I had an epiphany. I now know how Dr. Guillotine came up with his invention. I bet he was cleaning the windows one day, and saw a smudge on the outside of a double hung he wanted to get. He undid the latch, but nobody told him that the sash weight cords had rotted away ages ago. The latch opened and the entire upper pane - 3x4 feet - dropped like a lightning bolt. BAM! Huge shards of glass went flying in every direction. “Sacre merde!” he exclaimed in gutter fwench, “I could have lot mon head! ... ... ... ... ...  AH HA!!” And thus history was made.

A similar thing happened to me today. Scared the crap outta me, lemme tell ya. Luckily, the lower inner window was down, and the outer storm window was in place. So all the broken shards stayed between those two windows. At first I figured I was fired. This window was big, and the ancient glass was nearly a half inch thick. So I gathered up all my stuff and went and told the property manager. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

“Did you get cut?” “No, I’m fine.”
“Is there glass all over the place?” “No, it’s all between the other two windows.”
“Ok. Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”

Phew! I mean, come on, I’m working for a seriously old money rich person here. I expected at least a little flogging, you know? Throw me to the hounds a bit. Even one hound maybe? But I met the heir today. She’s in her mid-70s I think. She’s clean, she’s dressed well, her hairstyle looks very nice. She sits in a chair under a lap blanket, sort of facing the television, and smiles. And that’s about it. Early onset dimentia, poor old thing. So the property manager doesn’t really care; my piece is just a tiny slice (oops, a broken glass pun) of the latest million dollar renovation. So what’s another window when the bill is that big?

Then I figured, maybe they’re gonna go after my insurance. But I can fight that if they try. Nobody said a word about any of the windows not working or being dysfunctional. And it’s obvious that the only thing that made this one break was opening the latch. Opening and closing the window is part of it’s normal use expectation. So I think I’m Ok.

Good grief, this place is the size of a freakin hotel. Milady’s bedroom connects to her bathroom which connects to a dressing room which connects to m’lords bedroom which connects to his bathroom and to the eldest offspring’s bedroom, which connects to the middle children’s room which connects to the younger children’s room which connects to the nursery. And all these rooms connect to their own bathroom. You can walk around most of the upstairs of the house without even using the central hallway. At this point I’m keeping a lookout for secret passages. It’s a trip.

Tomorrow I hit the upstairs servant’s quarters. There’s about 5 rooms of them. Maybe more up in the attic? I haven’t been up there, but I know somewhere up on the roof there are at least two huge skylights, since all the bathrooms on the family wing have glass brick panels in the ceilings, and you can tell the light is coming in through another window somewhere up above. The back stairs - the servant’s stairs of course - are solid, but narrow, dark and steep. Not sure how I’m going to horse a ladder all the way up to the attic through there, with a flash light in the other hand. The main staircase on the family side - think Tara from Gone With The Wind, only this one has wall to wall plush carpet - only goes from the grand entrance way up to the second floor.

So at this point, the whole outside is cleaned, except for under the back portico because the Mexicans still aren’t done painting and fixing up the iron scroll worked balcony. I’ve got about half the upstairs inside done. So tomorrow I’ll finish the upstairs inside, go up and do the attic and go down and do the cellar (I can do them both together, Cinderella) windows, and hopefully get the portico done. I need to show up real early because I also have my regular Friday night office cleaning to do. So I’ll be there at least 2 days next week too. Then of course, there is the barn. Well, they call it a barn. I think it’s more of an actual carriage house - I looked in one of the windows and saw an actual carriage! - but no horses any more. But all the stalls and stuff are still there, and they’ve converted the upstairs into a couple of apartments for some of the caretakers. And the 8 black angus cows that keep the grass short in the front yard sleep somewhere else. (the front yard on the other side of the forest at the other end of the driveway. Actual cows in the actual front yard? I don’t think so!) But I look at it at 75 more windows, large, with mullions. Which need cleaning. $1000 please.

I’m winding down here with a rum and bottled tea. I’m living off of bottled tea lately, glugging down about a gallon a day of the stuff. Plus, the Arizona brand comes in really sturdy plastic jugs that are great for holding more window cleaning solution. So part of that wind down is watching the grand VP debate. It’s about 10:15 now, and I think Palin is finally getting her feet. She sounded like a chirpy idiot during the first part. OTOH, Biden just about oozes slime out of his pores, so even if he comes off better he’s still hard to watch and even harder to listen to, much less believe. So I’ll turn it over to the wise and fair media to tell me who wins this one.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell you about the dogs. They’re all my pals now. And they had a puppy party today. But I haven’t met the cats yet, though I have made peace with the parrot. He lives in a cage a little smaller than my first apartment. I have to go past that about 30 times a day, and he was shrieking at me and lunging against the bars the whole time. So I slipped him a bit of my sandwich, and now he just sits there and looks at me. So it’s either peace or heartburn. Parrots can eat salami and cheese can’t they? LOL


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/03/2008 at 12:40 AM   
Filed Under: • work and the workplace •  
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