Friday - November 21, 2008

Jihad to the rescue!!

Wouldn’t that be something if they did. And then went on to clean out Eyl, the other den of thieves along their coast.

So we’ll have to wait and see. But if it only took 4 carloads of local fighters to take out these pirates, WTH is wrong with the rest of the world sitting around doing nothing?

Strange News And Gossip

Ok, it looks like it’s one of those mornings. Nothing but weird out there today, and the weird part of that is that not much of the weird seems worth more than a sentence or two. And that means it’s the kind of day for a total mash-up style post ... let’s see what happens.

Amazing News Roundup!

Well, it’s a toss up. Or a cookie tosser. Your choice. Which is the bigger GAK story of the day, Hillary or Ashlee?

Hillary Clinton will be our next Secretary of State. So my guess is that our foreign policy is going straight back to poll driven popularity and do-nothinism, with stronger support for all the petty socialist tyrants around the globe. Wonderful. I guess the “compassionate conservative” failed policies of the Bush administration are going straight into the crapper.

Speaker of crapper, Ashlee “who the hell is this and why is she on the news” Simpson-Wentz gave birth to her child. And then named it Bronx Mowgli. Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Send that kid straight to the short bus, his life is ruined. Instant trailer trash, “BMW” is pretty much doomed from the start. And if he ever has any friends, he’ll just be plain old “BM”. Ain’t that the shit?



Another tie in the oddball news are these two stories, each filed under the “why are you doing this to me?” category ...

Of the 300 or so people that have been appointed to the Obafuhrer’s Army of Transition, 7 of them are openly gay.

Three of the seven gays named to the transition panels — businessman Fred P. Hochberg, former San Francisco Supervisor Roberta Achtenberg, and labor attorney Elaine Kaplan — held high-level positions in the Clinton administration.
...
The other openly gay members named to the transition review teams, in addition to Hochberg, Achtenberg, and Guest, include Rick Stamberger, president and CEO of SmartBrief, Inc., an online news publisher; Brad Kiley, an official with the Washington-based Center [of Research][/snark] for American Progress think tank; and Thomas Soto, co-founder of Craton Equity Partners, a large “clean technology” investment fund based in Southern California.

It doesn’t matter that several of these folks are leftovers and recycles from the Clinton Era. No. The news story is that they’re gay. Just like that idiotic judicial decision with Eharmony yesterday, it looks like we’re going to have Gayness shoved down our throats whether we want it or not. Gay executives, gay media, gay research, gay investments. That’s the kind of Change we’ve all been Hoping for.

Proto-humans had big floppy feet! Now, this is the story that’s going to make my day go better. It totally changes my outlook on life! But more importantly, were they gay? Who did their shoes? Tell us the important part!!!

Our ape-like ancestors might have walked like today’s gibbons, whose super bendy feet give them a floppy strut.

So they hadn’t even invented rocks yet, but they had the Pimp Roll down pat. Hmmm. In it’s own way, this is pretty gay news after all.



I tell ya, it’s a day full of contrasts and comparisons. A regular Ying-Yang situation, teetering over the abyss, trying to find a little balance. And that little segue let’s me use this graphic, which I hope my UK readers will just cherish:

Letting the see-saw rock back the other way, we have this amazing news: Michael Jackson has become a muslim! I guess he was reading about those 9 year old brides again. You betcha, now he will be known as Mikaeel, and has renounced his Jehovah’s Witnessing. Read all about it in the UK Sun, who wins the daily prize of free caulk for Most Atrocious Headline with their coverage in The Way You Mecca Me Feel.

Speaking of scary faces, not willing to be outdone by Whacko Jacko, and hoping to put the proper spin on the news for once, researchers in Poland have announced that they’ve found the actual grave of the actual early astronomer Copernicus! They dug up his old bones, gave them a good scan, and got out the Wishful Thinking computerized make-a-face machine and have declared that this is the face of Early Renaissance Science:

No word on whether this is the face of living Copernicus or dead Copernicus. It’s your call. Anyway, they found his grave in the uniquely named town of Frombork. Which lets me wave the Happy Birthday banner at another odd person, icelandic elf molester, extraterrestrial, and singer Bjork, who turns 43 today. Naming herself after the noise male walruses make going over sharp rocks, Bjork was doing Bai Ling (not that way you perv) before Bai Ling had her first pair of barbed wire and duck feather heels.
bjork, bjork, bjork!



Stepping onto the jetway after landing the astral plane, we have another NewsFight, a veritable battle of the depressing bands with the next two stories, and no way to connect them. Yet.

More news on The One’s picks for Two Three and Four, including putting “Crappy Nappy” Arizona Governor Janet “Borders? We doan need no steenkin boarders!” Napolitano into the lead slot at Homeland Security. It looks like Obarry is going to undo 8 years of Bush and 225 years of America just as fast as he possibly can. It’s really amazing how his campaign promise of “new faces in DC” really means bringing back as many Clintonistas as he can find. Does he have a job for Bill and Chelsea too?

Meanwhile back in africa, the mayhem continues in the Congo, and this continues to not be news. Tribalism at it’s worst, another former colony continues to be another failed state, and the lawless animals who live there continue their descent into heartless violent tribalism.

About 80 miles (130 kilometers) and a world away from Goma, the regional capital, the town is one of several perched across lush pastoral hills that was denuded of its inhabitants and ruled by extraordinarily unruly government troops since last week.

In this lawless corner of Congo, there are no police. There is no fuel, and no electricity. Terraced fields of precious beans and maize are untended. Shops stand empty. Children are not going to school.
...
The U.N. Security Council, meanwhile, agreed to send 3,100 more peacekeepers, boosting the 17,000-strong Central African mission. Though already the U.N.’s largest, the force has been heavily criticized for failing to stop the violence.

Sadness. Some things are incurable. Some things just can’t be improved. The only way to get these people past their stone age outlooks would be to sneak them across the border into the US and get them all jobs as taxi drivers in New York City. Hey, maybe there is a connection between the two stories after all!!



But wait, there’s more. In a nearly instant update, this just in! (sorry no opposable tale for balance this time)
Radical jihadiis will save the West from Somali pirates! Islam to the rescue!! Woo Hoo!!!


And just to wrap things up, we have two competing images. Both tawdry. Both idiotic. But both somehow insightful at the metaphysical philosophy level, unless you usually start your day with a couple of good bong hits, in which case they could actually be funny. You pick the “winner”.

Exhibit “A”: Madonna goes out in public wearing the front lawn. Nobody explained to her what “going green” really meant, did they?



Exhibit “B”: Surrealism at it’s finest. Or maybe an example of “transgressive junk food”? It’s a portrait of Britney Spears, made from grease stains, Cheetos and Velveeta. Now, that’s deep.

   Thursday - November 20, 2008

We were too late

White House moves Victory In Iraq date up from the 10/22 the blogosphere called, goes with 10/19 instead:

“the conditions are such that we are able to celebrate the victory we have had so far”
Dana Perino, White House Press Secretary



Does that make it more official? Or will you only concede victory when the MSM admits to it? Or are you waiting for Obama to lead the ticker tape parade?





Nothing is ever 100%; every war we’ve been in for the last 65 years or so has dribbled on a bit longer here and there, even after absolute surrenders or cease fires were signed. So if you want to hold out some more, be my guest. I’m calling this one DONE and WON. Now let’s get as many of our troops the hell out of there as soon as possible.






Looks like a timetable is close to being hammered out too, although it could also move up. Sooner or later you have to stop moving the goalposts and make the call. Anything that happens after that is an after-action incident or whatever mil-speak is for “after the game was over”.

Meanwhile, the Pentagon is under major cyber attack. The GWoT book isn’t finished yet, but this chapter has nothing left but a couple of footnotes. The focus will now shift back to Afghanistan, with perhaps a side trip to Somalia. Later chapters? Who can tell, but my bet is that one will be looking far to the East, and another will be looking a little bit to the West. Directly to the East? I don’t think so. I think that one will be The War That Wasn’t. My only real worry is that this whole book might just get banned by the next guy who wields the Big Pen, or that it will be turned back into some kind of crime drama farce story like the previous author wrote.

h/t to Sara at Pal2Pal.

Crikey

transgressive pottery! Oy vey.

 

Where’s My Indictment?

Vice President Cheney, former AG Gonzales, Indicted in Texas



WTF? Are we seeing the beginning of the Show Trials, or has the prosecutor down in Texas lost his marbles?

Vice President Dick Cheney and former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales have been indicted on state charges involving federal prisons in a South Texas county that has been a source of bizarre legal and political battles under the outgoing prosecutor.

The indictment returned Monday has not yet been signed by the presiding judge, and no action can be taken until that happens.

The seven indictments made public in Willacy County on Tuesday included one naming state Sen. Eddie Lucio Jr. and some targeting public officials connected to District Attorney Juan Angel Guerra’s own legal battles.

Regarding the indictments targeting the public officials, Guerra said, “the grand jury is the one that made those decisions, not me.”

Guerra himself was under indictment for more than a year and half until a judge dismissed the indictments last month. Guerra’s tenure ends this year after nearly two decades in office. He lost convincingly in a Democratic primary in March.

Guerra said the prison-related charges against Cheney and Gonzales are a national issue and experts from across the country testified to the grand jury.

Cheney is charged with engaging in an organized criminal activity related to the vice president’s investment in the Vanguard Group, which holds financial interests in the private prison companies running the federal detention centers. It accuses Cheney of a conflict of interest and “at least misdemeanor assaults” on detainees because of his link to the prison companies.

One indictment charges Cheney and Gonzales with engaging in organized criminal activity. It alleges that the men neglected federal prisoners and are responsible for assaults in the facilities.

The grand jury accused Cheney of a conflict of interest because of his influence over the county’s federal immigrant detention center and his substantial holdings in the Vanguard Group, which invests in private prison companies.

So why is the Vice President being charged? Because he has money in an index fund (yes, it’s that Vanguard Group), and one of the companies in the fund is a prison management company, and some of the prisoners complained that the prison guards employed by that company abused them. Therefore it’s Cheny’s fault. Gonzales’s too, but the news didn’t say whether he had shares in the fund or not.

Well, gosh-a-roonie, Vanguard holds my 401K. Guess I’d better be on the lookout for the police.

h/t to the CNN TV news ticker, and a little help from PoliPundit.

Passing The Buck

Piracy watchdog hails Indian attack on pirate ship

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia – An anti-piracy watchdog group on Thursday welcomed an Indian warship’s destruction of a suspected pirate vessel in waters off Somalia, where hijackings have become increasingly violent and the hijackers increasingly bold.

In a rare victory in the sea war against the Somali pirates, the Indian navy’s INS Tabar sank a suspected pirate “mother ship” in the Gulf of Aden and chased two attack boats on Tuesday.

Noel Choong, who heads the International Maritime Bureau’s piracy reporting center in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, said he was heartened by the Tabar’s success.

“It’s about time that such a forceful action is taken. It’s an action that everybody is waiting for,” Choong told The Associated Press. “If all warships do this, it will be a strong deterrent. But if it’s just a rare case, then it won’t work” to control the unprecedented level of piracy in the Gulf of Aden, he said.

The pirates have stunned the maritime community with their brazen attacks, highlighted by last week’s hijacking of a Saudi-owned supertanker loaded with $100 million worth of crude oil.

As has been pointed out, 6 or 8 fleabags in a rowboat stole this:

the anchor is probably bigger than your house

Indian forces fired back, sparking fires and a series of onboard blasts — possibly caused by exploding ammunition — which destroyed the ship.

notice that they slyly don’t say whose ammunition was doing the actual exploding. Do ya think 20 or 30 rounds from a 4” machine-gun cannon might have something to do with this? 

...
... NATO ships can intervene to prevent the seizure of ships if they are in the vicinity.

“But what they don’t have the mandate to do is to board ships that have already been hijacked to free the crew,” NATO spokesman James Appathurai told The Associated Press in Brussels. Germany does not allow its warships to intercept hijacked vessels because their civilian crews of various nationalities could be at risk in the event of a fire-fight, Choong said.

On Wednesday, Russia’s ambassador to NATO, Dmitry Rogozin, called on the international community to launch a joint amphibious operation against pirate strongholds in Somalia. However, any such operation would likely require the approval of the U.N. Security Council, whose resolutions on anti-piracy operations are vague, Choong said.

All well and good. So, what’s going to happen? Are the navies going to step up? Will the UN get tough and act? Stop holding your breath; you’re turning blue. No, the solution will be to let Somalia solve it’s own problem, with a little assistance from the West. Because the West actually believes the islamist-leaning anarchist shitpile called Somalia actually sees this piracy, which is that nation’s only source of income these days, as a problem! This is the nation that can’t be mentioned without saying how they have had no government at all for the past bazillion years. But they will solve the piracy problem! Or at least, the All-African transnational anti-terrorist cricket team will get the job done ...

NATO is committed to helping improve security in Africa but expects African states to take the lead in fighting piracy off the continent’s shores, said the NATO secretary general, Jaap de Hoop Scheffer, Reuters reported from Accra, Ghana.

De Hoop Scheffer was responding to a call by Ghana’s defense minister, Albert Kan-Dapaah, for closer collaboration between African regional bodies and NATO to combat piracy and tackle other problems, including money laundering.

The NATO chief spoke during an international alert over piracy off the Horn of Africa, where Somali pirates have caused havoc.

“This continent still has many problems, but it is my strong conviction that Africans should be in the lead to find solutions for those problems, and not others,” de Hoop Scheffer said after arriving in Ghana on Wednesday.

Horry Clap, what a bunch of idiots. First off, NATO has no business there in the first place. What part of North Atlantic do you see off the coast of Africa in the Indian Ocean? Next, a large number of the countries yabbering away about this have instructed their ships to do essentially nothing. Gee, that helps ever so much.

And what are the Americans doing? Well, gosh, you’d think your eardrums would be breaking from the thunderous popping sound as the whole bunch of them ram their heads up their asses as fast and as hard as they can, as they set their mental clocks back to 1999 ...

There have been no reports of attacks on vessels flying the American flag, and officials have interpreted that as a sign that the pirates do not want to provoke the U.S. Navy directly.

Morrell said the piracy problem “requires a holistic approach from the international community at sea, ashore, with governance, with economic development.”

Admiral Mike Mullen, chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff, said this week that there were legal and military obstacles to combating piracy.

“One of the challenges that you have in piracy, clearly, is, if you are intervening and you capture pirates, is there a path to prosecute them?” he said.

Although some analysts have warned of a link between pirates and terrorists in the region who say they are aligned with Al Qaeda, Mullen said, “I have not seen any connection to Al Qaeda or to terrorists per se.”

We are fuckin doomed. Piracy doesn’t NEED a connection to terrorists, because piracy IS terrorism. The one and only, OG, all original, first out of the gate, early bird getting the worm, ORIGINAL kind of terrorism. The ORIGINAL international capital offense. And in today’s world, if some group of thugs says they’re part of AQ, you believe them, DUH. Especially if they’re in that corner of the world that just recently had an AQ-esque government overthrown, which then vowed to go guerrilla and fight their way back to power, which is exactly what they’re doing! So our Bright Boys are looking at it as a criminal endeavor that can be solved with economic stimuli, peace, love, and granola. As we head into a depression, when there will be no money to even stimulate ourselves. “A holistic approach”. Kum-bay-friggin-yah.

Joe Biden, Genius And Savant

“Mark my words,” the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. “It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We’re about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.”

DOT ONE: Remember how, 6 or 8 months ago, we were told that Iran wouldn’t have enough centrifuges to make enough enriched uranium to build a bomb with for at least the better part of a decade?


DOT TWO: Remember how, a few months before that, we were told that Iran really didn’t have nuclear weapons ambitions because they had stopped work on bomb design several years ago?


DOT THREE: Remember the news, a couple years before that, about the Pakistani scientist A.Q. Khan, the guy who developed that country’s functional nukes, who had given the plans to every rogue islamic nation he could get in touch with? Then how Musharraf pardoned him, and how now he denies the whole thing and claims he was a scapegoat? Even though Libya, in the wake of 9/11, gave up it’s nuclear ambitions and turned the plans over to the US?


DOT FOUR: Remember how Iran has been playing games with the UN for ages, whining and crying and threatening, and how they spit on any and all sanctions against them a lie about their intentions and activities? That this has been going on so long it’s their standard behavior pattern, just like their buddies over there in North Korea?


DOT FIVE: Remember how far more sophisticated nuke plans turned up later, and even the nay-sayers at the UN couldn’t be sure if these had been distributed?


DOT SIX: Remember how Iran has made the news many times this year for testing more and more of their long range missiles? Ok, some of the pictures were “enhanced” a bit via faux-tography, but the missile tests were conducted, and they seemed to work.


DOT SEVEN:

Iran said to have enough nuclear fuel for one weapon

Iran has now produced roughly enough nuclear material to make, with added purification, a single atom bomb, according to nuclear experts analyzing the latest report from global atomic inspectors.

The figures detailing Iran’s progress were contained in a routine update on Wednesday from the International Atomic Energy Agency, which has been conducting inspections of the country’s main nuclear plant at Natanz. The report concluded that as of early this month, Iran had made 630 kilograms, or about 1,390 pounds, of low-enriched uranium.

Several experts said that was enough for a bomb, but they cautioned that the milestone was mostly symbolic, because Iran would have to take additional steps. Not only would it have to breach its international agreements and kick out the inspectors, but it would also have to further purify the fuel and put it into a warhead design — a technical advance that Western experts are unsure Iran has yet achieved.

“They clearly have enough material for a bomb,” said Richard Garwin, a top nuclear physicist who helped invent the hydrogen bomb and has advised Washington for decades. “They know how to do the enrichment. Whether they know how to design a bomb, well, that’s another matter.”

For most of a decade the “intelligence” people in the West have continued to go out of their way to underestimate Iran as much as they could, and to tie a blindfold on themselves on a daily basis. Wouldn’t want to upset the sheeple you know. Or have to be pro-active or anything like that.


Got your pencils ready? Good.

   Wednesday - November 19, 2008

100,000 citizens resist Obama

this post is dedicated to Turtler

An email from Grassfire.org:

+ + Obama Resistance Update
Grassfire.org

Christopher,

Thank you so much for taking part in Grassfire’s “Join The Resistance” campaign. I’m thrilled to report that in just one week, more than 100,000 citizens have joined the Resistance!

This is great news, especially with more and more reports about the very aggressive agenda President-elect Obama has set for the first days of his administration.

Obama’s promised executive orders alone will shut down oil and gas exploration, push radical global warming policies and force taxpayer funded abortions. And now Obama is promising more massive bailouts that will further expand government power.

+ + Our Goal: 200,000 Resisters This Week!

In order to reach our goal of 1 million Resisters by Inauguration Day, we must cross 200,000 this week.

We have already begun aggressive efforts to get the word out through conservative radio, Drudge Report and other means. But I need your help to spread the word TODAY:

Please forward this message to your conservative friends
right now and ask them to Join The Resistance. Your
friends can go here to sign:

http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?u=13283&PID=18705395

+ + Update on the Obama Booklet

Also, my staff is finalizing Grassfire’s booklet “Living In An Obama Nation” which outlines the 21 greatest threats the Obama Administration poses to your family and our nation. I expect to have this 48-page booklet to the printer tomorrow and shipping on time before the end of the month.

To request your copies or for a sneak peek inside the booklet, go here:

http://www.grassfire.net/r.asp?U=13279&CID=111&RID=18705395

Thank you so much for taking a stand with Grassfire! Together, we can mount a patriotic, resilient, conservative Resistance to Barack Obama and the socialist Left.

Steve Elliott, President
Grassfire.org

Ah yeah. Consider I’ve forwarded this message to all of BMEWS.

Schooled!

Continuing with to today’s Salute To India theme, Carol sends me this one.

Not Completely Dead Yet

Two Species Found, Both Thought Extinct

Well this is nice.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand — Researchers studying a rare and endangered species of penguin have uncovered a previously unknown species that disappeared about 500 years ago.

The yellow-eyed penguin is considered one of the world’s rarest. An estimated population of 7,000 in New Zealand is the focus of an extensive conservation effort.

Mouse-sized primates called pygmy tarsiers, not seen alive in 85 years, have come out of hiding from a mountaintop in a cloud forest in Indonesia. Weighing just 2 ounces (57 grams), they resemble mini-gremlin creatures, as they have big eyes and are covered in dense coats of fur to keep warm in a damp, chilly habitat.

The last sighting of this primate alive was in 1921 when live specimens were collected and processed for a museum collection.

This past summer, the team trapped two males and a female. They placed radio collars on the animals for tracking.

It must be an Enemy Thang, you wouldn’t understand

Obama and Condi now have something in common

Al-Qaida’s No. 2 leader used a racial epithet to insult Barack Obama in a message posted Wednesday, describing the president-elect in demeaning terms that imply he does the bidding of whites.

The message appeared chiefly aimed at persuading Muslims and Arabs that Obama does not represent a change in U.S. policies. Ayman al-Zawahri said in the message, which appeared on militant Web sites, that Obama is “the direct opposite of honorable black Americans” like Malcolm X, the 1960s African-American rights leader.

In al-Qaida’s first response to Obama’s victory, al-Zawahri also called the president-elect — along with secretaries of state Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice — “house negroes.”

Speaking in Arabic, al-Zawahri uses the term “abeed al-beit”, which literally translates as “house slaves.” But al-Qaida supplied English subtitles of his speech that included the translation as “house negroes.”

The turbaned tumblefuck then spent the rest of the 11 minute video ranting on about the usual crap, full of veiled threats and anti-American hatred. Big whup.

Welcome to the big boys club Barry.

Got One

Now that’s the Chicago Way New Delhi Way!

Indian Navy Sinks Pirate Mother Ship

An Indian naval vessel sank a suspected pirate “mother ship” in the Gulf of Aden and chased two attack boats into the night, officials said Wednesday, as separate bands of brigands seized Thai and Iranian ships in the lawless seas.

The owners of a seized Saudi oil supertanker, meanwhile, negotiated for the release of the ship, anchored off the coast of Somalia.

A multinational naval force has increased patrols in the waters between the Arabian Peninsula and the Horn of Africa, where pirates have grown bolder and more violent. The force scored a rare success Tuesday when the Indian warship, operating off the coast of Oman, stopped a ship similar to a pirate vessel described in numerous bulletins. The Indian navy said the pirates fired on the INS Tabar after the officers asked to search it.

“Pirates were seen roaming on the upper deck of this vessel with guns and rocket propelled grenade launchers,” said a statement from the Indian navy. Indian forces fired back, sparking fires and a series of onboard blasts — possibly due to exploding ammunition — and destroying the ship.

They chased one of two speedboats shadowing the larger ship. One was later found abandoned. The other escaped, according to the statement.

Larger “mother ships” are often used to take gangs of pirates and smaller attack boats into deep water, and can be used as mobile bases to attack merchant vessels.

Last week, Indian navy commandos operating from a warship foiled a pirate attempt to hijack a ship in the Gulf of Aden. The navy said an armed helicopter with marine commandos prevented the pirates from boarding and hijacking the Indian merchant vessel.

Today there is a new word in Hindi: Oorah!





The INS Tabar is a fairly new frigate in their navy, commissioned 4 1/2 years ago. It carries a single 100mm gun with a high rate of fire, numerous supersonic cruise missiles, and the usual array of torpedoes and air defenses. Tabar has been on station in the Gulf of Aden for just more than 2 weeks now, and this is the 2nd intervention they have done. The first one on November 11, resulted in the “suspected” pirates running away. The Tabar was built by the Russians and is 410 feet long.

   Tuesday - November 18, 2008

Questions of a tired mind

Is the chef on the commercials for Campbell’s Healthy Requests soups actually Mike Huckabee?






Sure looks like him to me.





And that means it’s probably past my bedtime.

Coming Soon to a 1040 near you

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