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calendar   Thursday - July 08, 2010

Today’s Literary Quote

Formerly known as ‘What’s Christopher Reading’, I decided to change the title.

I’m reading Simon R. Green’s Secret History series. Book Two - Daemons Are Forever. (Mr. Green seems to like parodies of Bond books.)

Our hero Edwin is busy with an elf-lord. Two of Frankenstein’s monsters are ganging up on his girlfriend Molly the witch. Simon R. Green is really a sick man. Who else could imagine this?

By now everyone else in the cafe had run for the doors, not wanting to tangle with a Drood in full armour, and I was happy enough to see them go. They would only have got in the way. The two Frankenstein creatures had closed in on Molly, reaching out for her with their large, mismatched hands. Molly laughed in their ugly faces, and hit them with a simple spell that made all their stitches come undone at once. The two monsters cried out in harsh, hopeless voices as ancient cat gut exploded like rows of firecrackers in their skin, undoing them like zippers. They fell apart, bit by bit, their separate pieces pattering to the floor, slowly at first and then in a rush. Hands fell from arms, arms from elbows and then from shoulders. Legs collapsed. Torsos hit the floor hard and opened up, spilling long-dead preserved organs onto the floor. The heads were the last to go, features slipping one by one from the faces, until finally the skulls cracked open and the dry, gray brains fell out.

By then I had my own problems. The elf lord was closing in on me, smiling his nasty, superior smile.

Moral? Witches are bitches. They do not appreciate fine stitching.


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Posted by Christopher   United States  on 07/08/2010 at 12:56 PM   
Filed Under: • HumorLiterature •  
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