BMEWS
 
When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

calendar   Wednesday - June 29, 2011

This One’s In The Bag

From Top To Bottom, Government Has Only One Policy:

Waste Money On Shit





Condo residents in Florida forced to pony up $200-$500 to DNA dog poop.

Poop Police to wage war on Phantom Shitters.



Good Lord, and I thought my condo association could waste money. We’re not even in the same ballpark as this bunch.


Plagued with pets that do business in all the wrong places, dog owners in the Village of Abacoa, a condominium association of 458 units, must pay a $200 fee starting Aug. 1. The money will pay DNA Pet World Registry to take the dog’s genetic fingerprint and keep the information on file.

Doggie droppings found in condo common areas will be collected and mailed in a plastic tube to the Knoxville, Tenn.-based company. If the poop matches the pooch, the owners can be fined up to $1,000. If they don’t pay, a lien can be placed on their home, said Susan Nellen, property manager for Versa Property Management, which manages the condo near Roger Dean Stadium.

Not everyone supports the policy.

“This is nuts. They will be testing all kinds of poop. Is this America?” said Troy Holloway, who owns one of the condos.

But managers say they have no choice. Dogs are defecating and urinating in elevators, in stairwells, on carpets and in the lobby, as well as common areas outside. The condo association is spending $10,000 to $12,000 a year replacing and cleaning, said Matthew Brickman, president of the Village of Abacoa Condominium Association.

“The smell is disgusting. Residents are embarrassed to have company. Dog crap is everywhere,” Nellen said.

A maintenance person from Versa Management will collect marble-sized samples found in restricted areas. The samples go in a leakproof plastic container about the size of a small perfume bottle containing DNA stabilization solution. The container is mailed to DNA Pet World, where the identification test is done.

If the illegal poop matches a registered dog, the owner can be fined. If the problem persists, the animal can be confiscated, Brickman said.

Feces identification is a booming business. DNA Pet World and PooPrints - its motto is “Match the Mess through DNA” - are spinoffs from BioPet Vet Labs. They started in October. By the end of the year, they expect 300 American franchises, Mayer said.

The process only works for feces. There is not enough DNA in urine to make a match, Mayer said.

Welcome to the nanny state. When society breaks down civility is the first thing to go. Respect for yourself and for your neighbors? Gone. The unspoken desire to make your little corner of the world a better place? Gone. It’s not my responsibility. Let someone else do it. And let’s see what I can get away with when nobody is watching, haha on you sucka.

We always had dogs when I was growing up. They would ask to go out, get hooked up to a long rope, and go out in the back yard to do their business. We’d come along later with a shovel and clean things up, although this wasn’t really practical in the winter, and lead to a rather spotty lawn in the early spring. And when the dogs went for a walk, if they dropped one, no, we didn’t clean it up. Nobody did. But the town wasn’t wall to wall dogs, and the poop was usually in the street. It washed away in the rain. It didn’t really matter. But most of us knew better than to let our dogs drop the big one on somebody’s lawn, even if we didn’t like them. Especially if they were watching; that could get you a punch in the nose.

A couple decades ago we started having the Baggy Brigade when people walked their dogs. I thought it was kind of gross at first, but later I came to see that this was a decent thing. It’s the responsible and considerate thing to do.

We are not allowed to have dogs in our condo village. Dogs aren’t even allowed to visit. I miss them. But even if we were allowed, I don’t think I’d have one. It just isn’t fair to the animal to be locked in the house all day, alone. Dogs need people around, and they need to get outside and run around and sniff things and do all their doggy activities. So the first part of being a responsible pet owner is determining if you can even properly care for one. If you can’t, then you don’t have pets. And if you take your pet around and about to do it’s business, you join the Baggie Brigade and you clean up after it. Period, no question, no hesitation. Anything less is not only irresponsible, it’s embarrassing. Because humans know the difference between right and wrong, and that’s all there is to it. I think the entire British Empire, and white culture in general, was built on that one concept of avoiding embarrassment. Be honest, considerate, and responsible, because you’ll feel like a real jerkwad when you don’t and then get caught out. Worse, people will talk.

Sounds to me like these folks in Florida are only one or two steps up the evolutionary stairs from the dogs they won’t clean up after, and that’s forcing the local nanny state to step in. Maybe they should just write a new bylaw that prohibits having dogs. It’s worked for us. But we both sure miss having a dog around sometimes. That’s the price you pay.

Hey ... Poop Police! Isn’t that one of Obama’s Shovel Ready jobs? LOL


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 06/29/2011 at 11:36 AM   
Filed Under: • GovernmentStoopid-People •  
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