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calendar   Tuesday - October 08, 2013

they ain’t got the balls

“Without helmets and pads, children are much more susceptible to getting hurt”

School Bans All Balls At Recess

Cartwheels and Tag Also Forbidden



Officials at Weber Middle School in Port Washington are worried that students are getting hurt during recess. Thus, they have instituted a ban on footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, or anything that might hurt someone on school grounds.

Tossing a football during recess has long seemed to be a rite of passage for kids in the school community.

“I think we need the soccer balls, the footballs and everything, so we can have some fun,” one student said.

But the students will have no such option anymore. They were just informed that during recess, football is out and Nerf ball is in. Hard soccer balls have been banned, along with baseballs and lacrosse balls, rough games of tag, or cartwheels unless supervised by a coach.

Students were not thrilled about the news.

Port Washington schools Supt. Kathleen Maloney said the change in policy is warranted due to a rash of playground injuries.

“Some of these injuries can unintentionally become very serious, so we want to make sure our children have fun, but are also protected,” Maloney said.

Without helmets and pads, children are much more susceptible to getting hurt, experts said.

...

Several districts from outside Long Island are already contacting Nassau County educators. Soon, additional schools may be jumping on the banning balls bandwagon.

The Port Washington district said the softer foam balls put students in the best situation to cut down the chance of getting injured.

I think they should just wrap your child in thick, organically grown, pesticide and peanut free cotton batting, and set them in rows in a nice quiet dim room with indirect lighting. That will make the indoctrination sessions easier too. It’s for their own good after all.

And Remember, pointing a finger, saying “pow pow!” or eating a sandwich into any vaguely L-shaped form is a Zero Tolerance Weapons Offense and will get your child suspended/expelled/psychoanalyzed and their meds increased.

Now children, everyone stand up and sing the Praise Obama song after we Pledge Allegiance To The State. And tell teacher where daddy touches you and where he keeps his guns.


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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/08/2013 at 03:13 PM   
Filed Under: • EducationNanny State •  
Comments (7) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  
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