Friday - March 02, 2012

Space Riddle

What’s the difference between the Moon and NASA’s cyber security?
The Moon is made of green cheese, and NASA’s security is made of Swiss cheese.
Lame humor, but come on. Swiss cheese is full of holes, just like their security. Horry Clap.

Chinese hackers gained control over NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in November, which could have allowed them delete sensitive files, add user accounts to mission-critical systems, upload hacking tools, and more—all at a central repository of U.S. space technology, according to a report released Wednesday afternoon by the Office of the Inspector General.

That report revealed scant details of an ongoing investigation into the incident against the Pasadena, Calif., lab, noting only that cyberattacks against the JPL involved Chinese-based Internet Protocol (IP) addresses.

Paul K. Martin, NASA’s inspector general, put his conclusions bluntly.

“The attackers had full functional control over these networks,” he wrote.

What the flippin’ flippity flock???

“Some of these intrusions have affected thousands of NASA computers, caused significant disruption to mission operations, and resulted in the theft of export-controlled and otherwise sensitive data, with an estimated cost to NASA of more than $7 million,” Martin wrote.

“In 2010 and 2011, NASA reported 5,408 computer security incidents that resulted in the installation of malicious software on or unauthorized access to its systems,” his report states. “These incidents spanned a wide continuum from individuals testing their skill to break into NASA systems, to well-organized criminal enterprises hacking for profit.”

Other incidents “may have been sponsored by foreign intelligence services seeking to further their countries’ objectives,” he noted.

NASA offered a statement to FoxNews.com saying that there was never a threat to the International Space Station, but did not specifically address whether there was a threat to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

“NASA has made significant progress to better protect the agency’s IT systems and is in the process of implementing the recommendations made by the NASA Inspector General in this area,” Michael Cabbage, NASA spokesman said.

Which translates into normal English as “We’re totally screwed, our naked ass is hanging in the breeze bruised and bleeding, but we’ve finally figured out that we’ve been totally pwned for ages now, and are thinking about doing something about it.”

Holy fuck chunks on a greasy paper plate. Have you dweebs tried the most basic stuff, like isolating your systems, setting up a firewall, and catching the hundreds of Chinese spies you have working there as employees? Do you know how much it sucks to have to say “It’s not rocket science” to a bunch of rocket scientists? Sheez!!

NASA said it is aware of the problem and taking steps to improve its computer security programs.

Gosh, I’ll sleep better knowing that. Who the BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP s running security there, TSA? And why are we not hearing that the whole damn team has been fired and placed under arrest?

[case #184572 showing that China is actually an enemy, so let’s continue to send all our jobs and money to them. ASSHOLES.]

Posted by Drew458     on 03/02/2012 at 09:19 AM   
Filed Under: • Computers and Cyberspace • Space •  
• Comments (3) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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