Sunday - December 03, 2006

SAVE THE GOAT!

It has been months since I have been able to run a goat story. I was beginning to despair of ever hearing of another goat like the one on a pole in Pakistan. This has bothered me greatly. After all, one of the primary missions of this blog is to protect the goats of the world from the Muslims who take great pleasure in humping our precious goats.

Now finally I have stumbled across another heart-warming goat story to help spread holiday cheer through the world. This goat is in Sweden, the country that gave us gorgeous blondes, Viking marauders, Bjorn Borg and ABBA - quite a set of accomplishments from a country that is frozen most of the year. This goat is huge and made of straw - which probably means it is safe from the Muslim goat “lovers”. Maybe.

The Gävle Goat, or “Gävlebocken” as it is known in Sweden, is older than Santa Claus. Unlike Jolly Old Saint Nick however, the Gävlebocken doesn’t bring presents or keep a list of who is naughty and nice (Muslims in the first category by default). No, the Gävlebocken just stands there in the middle of town - a massive statue of straw. Which brings up the subject of ... fire.

“Fire?”, you ask. Yes, the Gävlebocken has become the target of choice for Christmas terrorists. Year after year, the local fire department in Gävle has had to rush out in the middle of the night to save the goat. These goat-burning fanatics are members of the Axis Of Naughty. Yes, I can reveal all now - Glenn Reynolds and his evil minions have been behind the annual burning of the goat! And unless he gives me an “instalanche” real soon now, I’m turning him over to the Swedish Homelannden Securytie.

Key quote in the story below: “not even napalm can set fire to the goat now.” Yeah, right. Has anyone checked out the recent large shipment of ”willy pete” to a certain lawyer-type blogger in Tenessee? The Swedes better keep an eye out for Reynolds. He hates goats ... and puppies. Trust me. Would I lie to you .... ?

Swedes Guard Christmas Goat From Vandals
_{STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) - December 3, 2006, 11:52 AM EST}

For 40 years it has been torched, vandalized, had its legs cut off and even been run over by a car. But officials in the Swedish city of Gavle are guaranteeing that this year’s giant straw Christmas goat—the victim of Sweden’s most violent yule tradition—will survive unscathed.

The 43-foot-high goat—a centuries-old yule symbol that preceded Santa Claus as the bringer of gifts to Swedish homes—has been burned down 22 times since it was first set up in Gavle’s square on Dec. 3, 1966.

But for its 40th anniversary Sunday, officials think they have finally outsmarted the resourceful vandals by dousing the battered ram with flame-resistant chemicals normally used on airplanes.

“It is impossible to burn it to the ground this year, although you might be able to singe its paws,” said Anna Ostman, a spokeswoman for the committee in charge of building the goat. “After 40 years, we think we finally found the solution.”

The company providing the fireproof treatment is so sure of its resilience that its spokesman Freddy Klassmo told newspaper Aftonbladet that “not even napalm can set fire to the goat now.”

For those who want to follow its fate, a 24-hour Web cam has been set up to film the straw goat where it stands on the central square in Gavle, 90 miles north of Stockholm. However, the security guards that have watched over previous versions have been called off, Ostman said.

“We can sleep very soundly at night now,” she said. “The goat can too.” While the origins of the Christmas goat are unclear, the symbol is believed to date back to Norse mythology and the two goats that drew the carriage of Thor, the god of thunder.

Many Swedes place a small straw goat underneath their Christmas tree, or hang miniature versions on the branches. Since 1966, just 10 of Gavle’s giant goats have survived beyond Christmas Day. Aside from being burned, several were beaten down and the 1976 goat was hit by a car.

The vandals are seldom caught, but the 2001 culprit—51-year-old American Lawrence Jones—was convicted and spent 18 days in jail. The 2005 vandals—who witnesses said were dressed up as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man—remain at large. The pair fired flaming arrows at the goat, reducing it to its steel skeleton.

Posted by The Skipper     on 12/03/2006 at 12:30 PM   
Filed Under: • Fun-Stuff • Odd-Strange •  
• Comments (4) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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