Saturday - January 09, 2010

Plane Crazy

Are the airlines over reacting to situations now, because the Undie-bomber made a mockery of global security efforts? Or are they just putting in their own Zero Tolerance rules a bit late, rather like closing the barn door after the horse has left, and then burning down the barn just to make sure. You be the judge!



Pro:

3 drunken Brits arrested at Heathrow for making bomb threats on Emirates Air flight

Three men have been arrested on a passenger jet after an alleged bomb threat sparked a security scare at Heathrow Airport. Armed officers boarded the Dubai-bound Emirates EK004 flight - which had 331 people inside - on Friday night. Police said the alarm was raised when “a verbal threat was made to staff” as the plane was taxiing for take-off at 9.15pm. Three men, aged 58, 48 and 36, were arrested on suspicion of making a bomb threat.

The trio, thought to be British men who were sitting in economy class, are being held in police custody. Officers carried out a full search of the aircraft and found nothing suspicious.

Sky News crime correspondent Martin Brunt said the men were described as “people who had too much to drink”.

The Metropolitan Police said three people have been arrested. Passenger Cameron McLean said one man was taken off the plane in handcuffs before sniffer dogs were brought in.

“Police just swarmed the guy and rushed him out. I think he was a white male. There was another one but I didn’t see him.”

Con:

Flight aborted after strange note from passenger

Federal authorities filed a criminal complaint Friday against a 56-year-old man whose scrawled note invoking “Gilligan’s Island” led a Hawaiian Airlines pilot to turn around a Maui-bound flight and return Wednesday to Portland, Oregon.

According to the complaint and a 13-page supporting affidavit, Johnson and his girlfriend, Caroll Ann Miller, boarded Hawaiian Airlines Flight 39 on Wednesday morning bound for Kahului, Hawaii, on the island of Maui.

Once aboard, Johnson became upset because he was not allowed to store his bag under his exit-row seat, according to the affidavit, which was written by an FBI agent after interviewing Johnson, Miller and the flight crew.

About 45 minutes into the flight, Johnson gave a comment card in a sealed envelope to a flight attendant, who opened it, read it and gave it to the lead flight attendant, who then gave it to the captain, it said:

“I thought I was going to die, we were so high up,” the card said. “I thought to myself: I hope we don’t crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan’s Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange ... and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited (sic) to earth, landed on Gilligan’s Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I’d opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters.”

...

The pilot told investigators that, considering Johnson’s earlier behavior regarding his bag, he felt threatened by the card and decided—now about 90 minutes into the flight—to turn the jet around.

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) scrambled two fighter jets to escort the plane back to Portland.

I think it’s time to apply a DrewSolution to the whole situation:

• There is no more carry on luggage. All baggage will be searched, scanned, and put in the cargo hold.


• All passengers with be issued disposable light cotton clothing with hoods and booties, which they will wear before undergoing a full body scan. Strip naked, put the new clothes on, and your old outfit goes in the carry on bins, which are locked. Airlines will raise the temperature 3 degrees to compensate.


• No radios, cellphones, music players, books, laptop computers, or any hand held items at all will be permitted. All medications must be turned over to the flight attendants before boarding, and will be dispensed one pill or one injection at a time according to the dosage schedule that the passenger also supplies.


• All passengers will be issued a stun gun mounted on a telescopic steel fighting baton. In cases of Sudden Jihad Syndrome or other forms of passenger madness, all passengers are expected to put the stinger in. Parents who apply the stingers to unruly children will be fined the equivalent sum of $5000 unless an instantly formed tribunal of the other passengers agree that the little twerp was really annoying and deserved a righteous zap. Stun guns must be turned in upon exiting the aircraft.

There ya go, problem solved. Now can we knock of the BS already?

Posted by Drew458     on 01/09/2010 at 02:12 PM   
Filed Under: • planes, trains, tanks, ships, machines, automobiles • Terrorists •  
• Comments (6) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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