Saturday - April 02, 2005

One Year Ago

It’s Saturday and I needed a good laugh. Not just any laugh but a real belly-busting honker. I decided to go back into the archives and see what people were saying one year ago as the election was really gearing up and *John Kerry was riding high with a virtual lock on the Democratic party nomination. Here, we present for your viewing pleasure, an article that appeared in Newsweek magazine (a leftist rag that I refuse to subscribe to or even read) one year ago. Try not to laugh your ass off ....

Timing Is Everything

And John Kerry’s has always been perfect.
In this election, a wave created by the chaos in Iraq
  might carry the Democrat straight to the White House.

By Howard Fineman
Newsweek
Updated: 6:03 p.m. ET May 12, 2004

May 12 - John Kerry loves windsurfing, loves it so much he once made the cover of a glossy magazine devoted to the sport. As I report on his presidential campaign, it occurs to me that windsurfing symbolizes his political career—and the strategic theory that could bring him victory in November. For John Kerry doesn’t expect to be admired, let alone beloved. He doesn’t mind being labeled a “flip-flopper.” Indeed, windsurfing is just that: a constant maneuver to fill your sail. Kerry aims to catch the wind—and the drift of history. The war in Iraq is a hurricane, and Kerry hopes to ride it into office.

Kerry’s theory of this campaign is pretty straightforward: to be the guy people have no choice but to vote for on Nov. 2. Not because he has a stirring new vision (he doesn’t); not because he’s such a darned likable guy (he isn’t); but because circumstances are such that fair-minded “swing” voters have no choice but to pick him. He’s not running against the war, per se, but as the nobleman at the end of the Shakespeare play, a beacon of sanity on the battlefield.

An odd mixture of arrogance and self-abnegation, Kerry is under no illusions that voters will embrace him in a personal way. At a meeting with fund-raisers in New York the other month, he declared that his goal was to weather a wave of attacks and “preserve my acceptability.” There you have his strategy in its clinical glory: They don’t have to love me, they don’t even have to like me. If I am in the right place at the right time (and am “acceptable”) they will choose me.

Pardonnez-moi, whilest I roll on the floor. Has it really only been a year since this asshat actually thought he would be the next President? Sacre bleu! Oh shit! Why is it that every time I read about Kerry, I start talking with a Fwench accent. Dammit! I fart in your general direction!

_{*: the haughty, aristocratic, Fwench-loving, UN-schmoozing liberal from Massachusetts who (by the way) served in Vietnam, ran guns to the commies in Cambodia (by his own admission) and who pledged to release his military records months ago and hasn’t done so yet. Did I mention he served in Vietnam? How about the rich widows he keeps marrying? Ketchup, anyone?}

Posted by The Skipper     on 04/02/2005 at 11:45 AM   
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