Barking Moonbat Early Warning System

Sarah Palin's image already appears on the newer nickels.

Tuesday - July 20, 2004

On Gay Marriage

One of the hot-button issues of this Presidential campaign is the subject of "gay marriage". Personally, I think everyone has it all wrong. That includes the Left and the Right. We have more important issues to obsess over during this election year, like national security, the economy, taxes, etc. I think it's time to defuse this issue before it gets out of hand.

For the record, I am not homophobic or "anti-gay". I am, however, a staunch Conservative and can proudly boast that I have never voted for a Democrat or Liberal candidate for office since 1972 (when I became eligible to vote). Regarding homosexuality, I can sum up my entire philosophy about homosexuals in three words: "I DON'T CARE". It is no more any of my business what Bruce and Steve do in their home than it is what Bill and Susan do in theirs. I just don't care. All I ask is that they keep it to themselves. I don't want to have Bruce and Steve over for dinner and listen to their sexual exploits any more than I want to have Bill and Susan over for lunch and listen to them talk about their love life. LA-LA-LA-LA-LA .... I CAN'T HEAR YOU ....

Love is a private matter between two human beings. The only type of "love" I absolutely, totally disapprove of is that between that damned gecko and the gorgeous brunette in the GEICO commercials on TV. There is no place for "lizard love" in my universe.

I also have a problem with incest and polygamy although not as intense as my dislike of "lizard love". Anything else .... I couldn't care less. As long as it involves two consenting adults.

Which brings me to the subject of "gay marriage" (again). Here's the problem: Conservatives and Liberals are taking it too seriously because of an often misunderstood Article of the Constitution ....

Article IV

Section 1. Full faith and credit shall be given in each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof.

Section 2. The citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of citizens in the several states.

What did the framers of the Constitution intend with that? Generally speaking, they wanted to insure some sort of homogeneity between the states such that if you bought land in Georgia, the Florida government had to recognize you as a landowner. Or if you were tried of a crime in Nebraska and acquitted, then the Texas government had to recognize that you were a free man. And on and on ....

Here's the catch, though .... whatever you may think, in legal terms "marriage" is a contract between you and another human being that is licensed by the state in which you reside. Did you catch that word? Let me repeat it: licensed. Marriage is not a "right" bestowed upon you by a state or federal government. You are simply given a "marriage license" that entitles you to live together legally and enjoy the benefits of your mutual contract.

Here's the point everyone out there (and I do mean everyone) is missing: historically, "licenses" have not been transferable from state to state. Don't believe me? Try moving from Mississippi to Indiana. You have 60 days to turn in your Mississippi driver's license, take a written test and get issued an Indiana license. Fail the test and you get no license and can't drive in Indiana. Or an even better example, move from Indiana to Illinois. Your license to carry a concealed weapon is no longer valid at all and you better leave your firearms at home. The list goes on: fishing licenses issued in Louisiana are not valid in Arkansas - you need to re-apply. Hunting licenses, ditto.

Marriage licenses are the only state-issued licenses that have never been treated this way and that has only been by public consensus. A marriage license is still a state issued license just like the others mentioned above, no more and no less.

The solution to this whole "gay marriage" issue is really quite simple: treat marriage licenses just like other state-issued licenses. If you get married in Ohio and later move to Wyoming, you go to the courthouse, present evidence of your marriage in Ohio, take a test (optional) and get issued a Wyoming marriage license. If the voters of Wyoming pass a law saying "gay marriage" is not legal then .... let me see, you get issued a temporary permit to live together while you're in Wyoming but without the benefits of a legal Wyoming license (whatever they may be). I'm sure our various state legislators can sort out the details.

This solution is really very simple and satisfies everyone, Liberals as well as Conservatives. If a homosexual couple wants to get married in California or Massachusetts and the law there says the state may issue them a marriage license, then they may feel free to do so and enjoy all the privileges of married bliss (whatever they may be).

If, however, that homosexual couple decides to move to some other state where "gay marriage" licenses are not issued, they know beforehand that the rules will be different in their new home. And if they decide to sue in their new home state because they think their "rights" are being violated, everyone yell "BULLSHIT!" because, as stated above, marriage is not a "right". It is merely a state-issued license.

On this issue, Conservatives are wrongly assuming it is a Constitutional issue and an attack on "traditional marriage" from the Left. Liberals are wrongly assuming it is a Constitutional tool they can use. Both sides are wrong for all the wrong reasons. Liberals want to use state-issued licenses to enforce a Liberal agenda nationwide, regardless of what the people in other states think. They wrongly assume marriage is a "right". Conservatives, on the other hand, see it as something in the Constitution that needs to be fixed or sodomy will be forced on the nation as a whole, thereby destroying the "sanctity of marriage".

I say to both sides: the solution is right there, in front of your eyes .. as I described above. Stop fighting over a non-issue.

And while we're at it, let's make marriage licenses renewable every ten years or so, just like driver's licenses. If the marriage is failing, the couple just doesn't renew the license (of course suitable penalties would apply for "early withdrawal"). We could put millions of divorce lawyers out of business overnight. And that would be a good thing, wouldn't it? And don't even get me started on "learner's permits" ....

OK, everyone! Time to weigh in on this issue! The discussion is wide-open. Tell me if you think I'm full of shit on this issue. Tell me if you think I'm right or wrong. Speak your mind or forever hold your peace.

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Posted by The Skipper

on 07/20/2004 at 06:00 PM
Filed Under: • Patriotism •
• Comments (31)

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.