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calendar   Thursday - October 20, 2005

NEWS FLASH!

SADDAM PLEADS INNOCENT
BAGHDAD (AL-JIZZ)

In a surprise statement issued to the Iraqi People’s Court today, Saddam Hussein denied any knowledge of the deaths of 300,000 Kurds and Shiites. The former “Benevolent Dictator” wept in his cage in the courtroom and declared that the murders had most likely been commited as part of a drug deal that went bad. Saddam vowed that if released he would pursue the real mass murderers to the “ends of the earth”.

President Hussein, who was re-elected with a mandate from 98% of the Iraqi population in 2000, was visibly shaken as descriptions of torture and genocide were read aloud. He stated for the record, “These were my people. How could anyone do this to them behind my back? I have vowed to hunt down these vicious drug dealers who commmitted this horrible crime.”

Hussein’s lawyer, Yahanni Al-Kaquan, issued a brief statement as the proud leader of Iraq was led away in chains, “It is a travesty of justice to charge this noble leader with these crimes simply because he was there when they were committed. I say to the jury that if the WMD don’t fit, you must acquit!”

Al-Kaquan then introduced a motion to the court to have the trial moved to Los Angeles, stating that it would be impossible for President Hussein to get a fair trial in Baghdad. Iraqi judge Al-Ans Yto denied the request and scheduled testimony to begin November 28 with prosecution witness Mahk Al-Fuhman, a Kurdish policeman, to take the stand first.

- Stay tuned to BMEWS for further developments in this breaking news story ...


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 10/20/2005 at 01:32 PM   
Filed Under: • IraqSatire •  
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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