Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

calendar   Thursday - July 08, 2004

What should we do?

Rumor and speculation abound that the marine who was reportedly captured and threatened with beheading may have set it up himself.

In other words, one great big hoax.

If this is true, what should we do once we have him again?

For all the grief he caused so many people, for all the resources he forced the military to use that took away from their mission in Iraq, for all the money he's cost in airing, producing, televising and broadcasting his "story" I think he should take a bullet to the neck.

What say you?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 12:53 PM    avatar
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DNC Flip-Flops

In honor of John Kerry's position shifts on issues, the DNC is having trouble deciding which bloggers to invite to the Convention later this month. First, they notify the blogger he or she has been accepted then they tell them the next day that they have been rejected.

Bill, at INDC Journal got "the treatment" first. Then John Tobain got treated the same way.

Both of the bloggers above are conservative sites. Could this be a plot by the DNC to keep possible "unfriendly" bloggers away?

Either way, we here at BMEWS have absolutely no desire to set foot in Boston for the convention. I predict there will be so many Leftist Moonbats in the city during the convention that a new space-time continuum phenomenum could occur: a mental black-hole, wherein all rational thought is sucked into an enormous vortex from which no sane speech can escape. We've alerted Stephen Hawking to our theory.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 11:07 AM    avatar
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The Poodle Visits Native Americans

During a campaign tour of the Apache Nation on Wednesday, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry said he had a plan to increase every Native American's income by $40,000 a year. However, Senator Kerry refused repeated requests for details of his plan.

He also told the Apaches that during his Senate career he has voted YES for every Indian issue ever introduced. Before his departure, the Apache Tribe presented the Presidential candidate a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, Running Eagle.

After Kerry left, tribal officials explained that Running Eagle is a bird so full of shit that it can't fly.

(With a wink and a thanks to Ana!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 08:56 AM    avatar
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Conspiracy theorists---BEWARE!!!

The Breck Girl attended the "super secret" Bilderberg meeting earlier this year and his performance there sparked renewed interest in the Kerry camp resulting in his selection as VP candidate. So what does Edwards know and when did he know it?

My question is this: if this group is supposed to be meeting in order to promote a globalist agenda because national sovereignty is an antiquated concept with attendees being "movers and shakers" how did Edwards get invited? For that matter, Ralph Reed?

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 07:43 AM    avatar
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The Poodle and The Breck Girl

By now if you do not know that The Poodle selected The Breck Girl to be his running "mate" then you've been living in a cave.

Could it be that he did this so if the elections do go as he expects he'll have The Breck Girl handy to file a lawsuit? Maybe call in the UN to mediate or pass a resolution?

No matter. Hundreds of articles will be written about The Poodle's choice and hundreds more about The Breck Girl himself.

So here's my $.02's worth.

For most Republicans and Conservatives, this presents us with wonderful targets: You have two HUGELY rich millionaires campaigning and calling themselves the champions of the underprivileged!! That's a bit much. It's a joke really that anyone could ever fall for that. You also have The Poodle with his numerous flip flops on issues, the latest of which was his stance on abortion. He's against it but has never signed any bill along those lines. I read somewhere that if this were the 1860s era and Kerry was running against Lincoln with the discussion being slavery, then Kerry would say that as a Catholic he personally does not believe in it but he has to respect the rights and opinions of Protestants and other Christian voters who favor it.

Sorry, a guy that can't vote his convictions is a piece of shit as far as I am concerned.

Then he goes out on the stump talking about "values." VALUES?!?!?! From this fucktard?

Try some consistency, you asshole! That's something I value. But he can't do it. It is not his nature. He's a new age guy full of nuances. Hey, John! Stick your nuances up your ass!

One last thing: Kerry keeps saying he wants to eliminate Bush's tax cuts to the rich.

He is worth millions, his wife, anywhere between 800 million and a billion. Edwards is worth about 60 million. You think changing this law will affect them? HA!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 07:38 AM    avatar
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."
-- Clarence Darrow (1857 - 1938)

On This Day In History

July 8, 1853 - Commodore Perry Sails Into Tokyo Bay
Commodore Matthew Calbraith Perry, representing the U.S. government, sails into Tokyo Bay, Japan, with a squadron of four vessels. For a time, Japanese officials refused to speak with Perry, but under threat of attack by the superior American ships they accepted letters from President Millard Fillmore, making the United States the first Western nation to establish relations with Japan since it had been declared closed to foreigners two centuries before. Only the Dutch and the Chinese were allowed to continue trade with Japan after 1639, but this trade was restricted and confined to the island of Dejima at Nagasaki.

After giving Japan time to consider the establishment of external relations, Commodore Perry returned to Tokyo with nine ships in March 1854. On March 31, he signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with the Japanese government, opening the ports of Shimoda and Hakodate to American trade and permitting the establishment of a U.S. consulate in Japan. In April 1860, the first Japanese diplomats to visit a foreign power in over 200 years reached Washington, D.C., and remained in the U.S. capital for several weeks, discussing expansion of trade with the United States. Treaties with other Western powers followed soon after, contributing to the collapse of the shogunate and ultimately the modernization of Japan.

Today's Birthdays

John Davison Rockefeller, American industrialist and philanthropist (1839)
Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller, American Vice President from 1974-1977 (1908)
Kevin Bacon, American actor (1958)

Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/08/2004 at 02:39 AM    avatar
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calendar   Wednesday - July 07, 2004

Now You Know

According to "Encyclopedia Of The Middle Ages" by Norman F. Cantor, Viking Publishing, New York, NY 1999, the word "barbarian" originated in ancient Greece ....
The ancient Greeks thought that anyone who did not speak Greek was saying "ba-ba-ba", meaning nonsense. Hence the word barbarian for non-Greek-speaking foreigners -- inferior people, it was thought who live primitively without the benefits of civilization centered on Athens. The Romans, heir to Greek culture, adopted this concept, applying the term to inferior people principally congregated along the Rhine and Danube Rivers.
We would like everyone to take note that twenty-four centuries later, we still think people who spout nonsense are saying "ba-ba-ba". For this reason, we call them "Ba-Ba-Ba-rking Moonbats".

So if you find yourself surrounded by screaming and shouting "Ba-Ba-Ba-rking Moonbats" just look them dead in the eye and say to them, "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ......". If they still keep babbling nonsense, a #10 club to the side of the head will usually suffice to quiet the bastards.

This has been a public service message from the Ba-Ba-Ba-rking Moonbat Network. As you were.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/07/2004 at 07:21 PM    avatar
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Update!  Update!

Remember a few days ago I posted about how some traitorous Dummycrap pieces of shit had written the UN asking them to send observers to monitor our election this year?

Well, the UN turned it down saying the request had to come "from a national government or an electoral authority." I'm sure the verminous traitors were disappointed.

In this update article there is one fantastic quote by a member of

"Let me get this straight. A group of Democrats want to bring some people from countries like North Korea, Iran, Syria, China and Cuba – people that have never seen a democratic election in their lifetimes – to sit in judgment on our elections? What kind of voodoo politics is that? The last time a foreign body had any direct influence over the political process of this country, the situation was corrected by a war for our freedom from British rule. Are these so-called Americans so willing to surrender that hard-won right of self-determination now, and to such a shamelessly scandal-ridden group of anti-American dictatorships and terrorist sympathizers? We may as well dissolve the Union now and save ourselves the pain of watching it done for us."

You GO, Joe!!

As for the rats, a slow painful death would be too good for them but I am not in a position to administer it, even as Benevolent Dictator. I can only hope the people in the districts served by these moonbat fucktards kick them out on their asses at the next election.

DAMN IT!! I am still pissed off to think that our own elected officials would so casually turn over our election to a bunch of shitheels at the UN!!


(there, I feel better now!)

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/07/2004 at 01:58 PM    avatar
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Stupid is as stupid does

Numbnuts gets pissed off at girlfriend. Uses her email account to send a message to the White House threatening to blow it up and kill the President. Got caught. Got convicted. So far so good.

Bad news? He's a minor so once he's served his time his record will be clear. THAT'S a scary thought. I never did like that aspect of the juvenile law. Some crime records should NEVER be expunged. Underage drinking, small amounts of drugs, breaking some windows, that sort of crap, OK, get rid of it. Sex crimes, robberies, larcenies, rapes, murders, manslaughters, DWI, threatening a President, etc.--NEVER.

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/07/2004 at 09:52 AM    avatar
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Health Crisis?

Is it just a failed memory or does anyone else remember the distortions behind these numbers mentioned by The Poodle (and soon to be echoed by his VP nominee, the Breck Girl.)

Lurch is saying there are 43 million Americans without health insurance. Think about that number---it is about 15% of our population.

I recall reading somewhere that these numbers are fallacious simply because they include:

--- people who are already covered under someone else's insurance

---people who have health plans but choose not to pay the premium because they'd rather spend their money on wide screen TVs and beer

---shitloads of young people who figure that rather than spend money on insurance bet on their own youth and health to keep them relatively safe. Hey, I remember when I was young I hardly EVER got sick. Ran a saw through one of my fingers once but that's about it. Hell, I still hardly ever catch a cold.

So here we go again, more lies and distortions from the party that made lying an art form.

If The Poodle and the Breck Girl get their way, their proposal will set us back a TRILLION dollars. Try to conceptualize a trillion dollars. Laid end to end it's 500 BILLION feet or 94,696,970 miles (farther than from here to the sun!)

Here's another way to look at it. Assuming we have 140 million people working in the US, that would cost EACH and EVERY ONE of us about $715 per year (no excuses, no exemptions, EVERYONE pays!) Are you ready for that? How about this? Are you ready for paying double that because The Poodle proposes tax credits for many people under his plan who he feels can least afford to pay.

Read this article Prepare to get terrified!

Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/07/2004 at 09:44 AM    avatar
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calendar   Thursday - June 24, 2004

Just Say “No” To Michael Moore

Hold on. I'm about to start a shit storm here.

According to The Hill, the Federal Election Commission (FEC) could ban ads for Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" after July 30. I believe they would be perfectly correct in doing so. Wait a minute .... I already hear the Moonbat Democrats howling from the rooftops that this is censorship. Wrong! It's the law.

The McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Law prohibits corporate-funded ads that identify a federal candidate before a primary or general election. This part of the law was intended to restrict large corporations from freely giving their support to a political candidate without going through the process of donating money to a party or candidate, which is also controlled by the law. The whole law is intended to level the playing field and keep election advertising fair.

Is Moore's movie "advertising"? You bet. He makes no bones about the fact that he intends to impact this political election. So he has thrown together this muckadoo film that is partly fact and partly fiction with one purpose in mind: to defeat George W. Bush. He releases it the summer before the election in order to sway your vote. Plain and simple. Not to mention the fact that his ego gets a huge stroking and he stands to make a lot of money. It's advertising for his agenda.

What is advertising? It is simply a method of subtly controlling people's emotions through images and sound to influence them to buy a product. You know what I'm referring to. You are saturated with ads that try to scare you into thinking that your penis is too small or not hard enough, your vagina stinks, you car is not fancy enough, you don't have enough credit cards, your cat or dog is suffering malnutrition .... and the list goes on and on. Fear is the name of the game and they're playing on your emotions. It doesn't matter if you and your wife have sex twelve times a week, you still need viagra. Bullshit.

Fear and bullshit. Is that any way to help people decide who should lead the Free World? Not on your life.

Moore's movie and several others coming out this summer are just that - fear and bullshit, wrapped up as a "documentary" to influence your vote. It's bad enough that Moore is releasing his movie to influence your vote but I for one do not want to have to endure a constant barrage of ads for the movie.

The McCain-Feingold Law was passed in a bipartisan effort to clear the air during an election. All of these outside-sponsored fear/bullshit ads have to stop 60 days before the election. Sixty days is not long but it is something all voters need in order to allow them to step back, examine the candidates rationally, go over each party's positions and listen to the candidates debate. Sixty days to allow our emotions to rest and let us logically make up our minds who to vote for. Is that too much to ask for? Michael Moore and a few other Hollywood fucktards don't think you should be allowed to make a rational decision based on facts. They want to diddle with your emotions.

They tell you the war is going badly. According to the majority of our troops over in "the sandbox" things are getting better every day. Insurgents are being taken out and the handover to an interim Iraqi government is coming up next week.

They tell you the economy is trashed. According to government figures and corporate hiring records, the economy is booming, the stock market is at all time highs, interest rates are still low and the GDP is growing.

They tell you "Bush lied". They tell you the Patriot Act is an invasion of privacy. They tell you prisoners of war are being beaten and tortured. They tell you "Bush is Hitler". I'm surprised they haven't told us yet that "Bush is the Anti-Christ".

Does anyone out there remember the 1992 election? All we heard about was the "homeless" and how cruel the Republicans under Reagan and Bush, Sr. were. Hollywood went berserk, started "Comic Relief" to help all these poor "homeless" people that evil Republicans created. Does anyone know what happened to these "homeless" people? They seem to have disappeared after Clinton was elected. I wonder where they went to?

Gloom. Doom. Fear. Hatred. Anger. Lies. Bullshit. That is what they're selling. And they want you to buy it.

Just say "NO".

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/24/2004 at 02:50 AM    avatar
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

On This Day In History

June 24, 1812 - Napoleon Invades Russia
Following the rejection of his Continental System by Czar Alexander I, French Emperor Napoleon orders his Grande Armýe, the largest European military force ever assembled to that date, into Russia. The enormous army, featuring some 500,000 soldiers and staff, included troops from all the European countries under the sway of the French Empire.

During the opening months of the invasion, Napoleon was forced to contend with a bitter Russian army in perpetual retreat. Refusing to engage Napoleon's superior army in a full-scale confrontation, the Russians under General Mikhail Kutuzov burned everything behind them as they retreated deeper and deeper into Russia. On September 7, the indecisive Battle of Borodino was fought, in which both sides suffered terrible losses. On September 14, Napoleon arrived in Moscow intending to find supplies but instead found almost the entire population evacuated, and the Russian army retreated again. Early the next morning, fires broke across the city, set by Russian patriots, and the Grande Armýe's winter quarters were destroyed. After waiting a month for a surrender that never came, Napoleon, faced with the onset of the Russian winter, was forced to order his starving army out of Moscow.

During the disastrous retreat, Napoleon's army suffered continual harassment from a suddenly aggressive and merciless Russian army. Stalked by hunger and the deadly lances of the Cossacks, the decimated army reached the Berezina River late in November, but found their way blocked by the Russians. On November 27, Napoleon forced a way across at Studenka, and when the bulk of his army passed the river two days later, he was forced to burn his makeshift bridges behind him, stranding some 10,000 stragglers on the other side. From there, the retreat became a rout, and on December 8 Napoleon left what remained of his army to return to Paris. Six days later, the Grande Armýe finally escaped Russia, having suffered a loss of more than 400,000 men during the disastrous invasion.

Editor's Note: This proved to be not one but two of the Top Three Worst Military Plans of all time, which include ....
1. "Let's invade Russia in the winter"
2. "Let's pull a sneak attack on America"
3. "Let's let the French handle it"

Today's Birthdays

Jack Dempsey, American boxer (1895)
Ambrose Bierce, American satirist & journalist (1842)

Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/24/2004 at 01:31 AM    avatar
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calendar   Wednesday - June 23, 2004


At Eglin Air Force Base in Florida, the US Air Force is testing robot security guards. The $500,000 robots called Mobile Detection And Response System (MDARS) are currently in testing and other services are looking into using the mechanical guards too. In a related story, the US Air Force today changed its name to SkyNet and put out an all-points-bulletin for someone named Sarah Connor.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/23/2004 at 11:29 PM    avatar
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Rats! The Cubbies just lost a close one to the Cards. Final score: Cubs 9 Cardinals 10. The Cubbies outslugged the Cards but also had too many errors. Bummer!

As a consolation prize, the Orioles beat the snot out of the Yankees. Final score: Baltimore 13 New York 2.

The Cubbies have one more game against St. Looie tomorrow night. Matt Clement is on the mound. Then it's back to the Windy City for inter-league play with the White Sox.

Stay tuned. It's a long way 'til October, gang!

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/23/2004 at 11:07 PM    avatar
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Football Makes People Act Weird

I know you've all seen the weirdos in the stands at American football games, painted up in weird colors and wearing blocks of cheese or horns on their heads. I bet you also thought Europeans were too sophisticated for that kind of immature behavior.

Think again. Doesn't this little honey, who was seen at the Euro 2004 Soccer Championships, realize that those key-lime panties clash horribly with that blue Smurf outfit. Mon Dieu! C'est horrible! And don't even get me started on the two dorks beside her.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/23/2004 at 03:12 PM    avatar
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Dubious Honor

Living in Indiana is kinda strange at times. We have the most f**ked up time zones you have never heard of (three time zones in one state, one of which doesn't observe daylight saving time).

Indiana is also flat as a pancake. How flat is it?

I'm glad you asked.

The official highest point in the state is now .... a garbage dump?

OK, already. You can stop giggling any time you want.

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 06/23/2004 at 02:58 PM    avatar
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