BMEWS
 
Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

calendar   Friday - July 16, 2004

Figures lie and liars figure

FromThe Best of the Web edited by James Taranto I got this article. It is absolutely incredible how the media does not even question the bullshit behind these statements.

A couple of days ago I ranted about how the rest of the world can basically go fuck itself for criticizing the US at the AIDS conference.

Now guess what's come out of there? That there are at least 3 million children in the world who are orphans.

Your first thought? "AWWW, how awful for those poor children!"

Not so fast, bucko! Guess what the UN considers an orphan?

According to them, ANY child who has lost ONE or more parents is considered to be orphaned!!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

ONE or more? In other words, if I were under 18 and my father were to die today I would be an orphan? Hey, I've always been told an orphan child is one where both parents are killed. Anyone here brought up differently in that regard?

What else can we expect from the United Nations and the bureaucratic fucktards that infect it? They will do anything it takes to twist conventional wisdom and accepted practice in such ways to make it look like the world is falling down around our ears in misery.....even if it means bald-faced distortions.



Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/16/2004 at 06:36 AM    avatar
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Taking The Poodle To Task

The Poodle took a stab at President Bush for not having spoken to the NAACP by saying:
"I will be a president who talks with everyone those who agree with me and those who don't"

So, does anyone in the audience have contacts at Bob Jones University? How about the KKK? Think we can get them to invite Kerry to speak? The invitation should be worded such that it is so open on the availability that Kerry simply CAN NOT say he has a scheduling conflict? What do you think he'd say?

Of course, the answer would be "so sorry, scheduling conflict."

And why would he say that? Because he can't come out and say that those two groups do not represent his core values and beliefs.

Yet President Bush, who was associated with the dragging death of that black man in Texas because of a commercial run by the NAACP, is supposed to just drop everything and go visit that nest of vipers? Even though the NAACP no longer stands for what President Bush believes in or stands for?

Again, hypocrisy and flat out misrepresentations rear their ugly heads in the person of The Poodle and his lackey minions in the Dummycrap party.



Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/16/2004 at 06:26 AM    avatar
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner."
-- Aristophanes (450 BC - 388 BC), "Knights", 424 B.C.


On This Day In History

July 16, 1945 - The First Atomic Bomb Is Successfully Exploded
On this day in 1945, at 5:29:45 a.m., the Manhattan Project comes to an explosive end as the first atom bomb is successfully tested in Alamogordo, New Mexico.

The Manhattan Project (so-called because of where the research began) would wind its way through many locations during the early period of theoretical exploration, most importantly, the University of Chicago, where Enrico Fermi successfully set off the first fission chain reaction. But the Project took final form in the desert of New Mexico, where, in 1943, Robert J. Oppenheimer began directing Project Y at a laboratory at Los Alamos, along with such minds as Hans Bethe, Edward Teller, and Fermi. Here theory and practice came together, as the problems of achieving critical mass-a nuclear explosion-and the construction of a deliverable bomb were worked out.

Finally, on the morning of July 16, at the Alamogordo air base, 120 miles south of Santa Fe, the first atomic bomb was detonated. The scientists and a few dignitaries had removed themselves 10,000 yards away to observe as the first mushroom cloud of searing light stretched 40,000 feet into the air and generated the destructive power of 15,000 to 20,000 tons of TNT. The tower on which the bomb sat when detonated was vaporized.

The question now became-on whom was the bomb to be dropped? Germany was the original target, but the Germans had already surrendered. The only belligerent remaining was Japan.




Today's Birthdays

Mary Baker Eddy, Founder of Christian Science Church (1821)
Roald Amundsen, Norwegian polar explorer (1872)




Extra Credit

Once In A Blue Moon
Although the full moon occurring Saturday, July 31, 2004, will look like an ordinary full moon, it will actually be a bit extraordinary—a blue moon. A blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month. For a blue moon to occur, the first of the full moons must appear at or near the beginning of the month so that the second will fall within the same month (the average span between two moons is 29.5 days). July 2004 will have two full moons: the first on July 2, the second on July 31—that second full moon is called the blue moon. The last blue moon was in 2001 and the next will occur in 2007. The rare phenomenon of two blue moons occurring in the same year happens approximately once every 19 years. 1999 was the last time a blue moon appeared twice, in January and March.

Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/16/2004 at 12:13 AM    avatar
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calendar   Thursday - July 15, 2004

When?

Spelling and grammar errors are one thing. This however, is ridiculous. Only in New York ....



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 03:53 PM    avatar
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Freedom Of Religion

OK, everyone. Buckle on your crash helmets and strap on the body armor. I am about to boldly go where I probably shouldn't go but I can't just let certain comments ride anymore. Today we are going to examine the First Amendment to the Constitution and how it applies to religion.
Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
There you have it. This amendment actually covers three topics: religion, speech and assembly. I propose to examine only the first of these .... through the eyes of the men who wrote it.

But first, let me ask you to do a little research. I want you to examine the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, our currency, our laws and our public buildings. Tell me, how many times do you see a reference to "Jesus" or "Christ"? To the best of my knowledge there are none. I have checked everywhere, including The Federalist Papers, The Anti-Federalist Papers and every document associated with the Founding Fathers of our country. Yet they were all Christians, weren't they? Men who, without exception, believed in their personal salvation through Jesus Christ. So why this omission on their part?

It wasn't an oversight. It was intentional. Yet on the other hand, if you look at the above documents, laws, buildings and papers you find numerous references to "God". Most often referred to simply as "The Creator". Why did they do that? They did it out of a sense of humility and the understanding that there has to be a greater power than man or else this whole silly business of "life" is just a joke. However, with that said, nowhere did they say that everyone must worship God. They were merely acknowledging the presence of some kind of supreme being and other people could either acknowledge that fact or not and could call that supreme being whatever name they wished.

You have to keep in mind also the times the Founding Fathers lived in. This was a period known in the history of western civilization as the "Reformation". Sixteen hundred years after the birth of Christ, countless wars had been fought as first the Catholic Church and later the Anglican Church struggled with the political leaders for dominance.

The first revolt against the Catholic Church and its constant interference in political matters was by Martin Luther in 1517. The Catholic Church was rife with corruption and bribes, and meddling in the affairs of kingdoms was commonplace. The Pope could and did order Crusades and depose Kings and Queens at will.

Then along came Henry VIII who, in 1529, declared himself head of the English Church and thumbed his nose at the Pope. He later went on to marry, divorce and behead several wives but (and this is important) in 1534 he made a law called the "Act of Succession" in which everyone had to swear allegiance to Henry VIII as head of the English church. Thomas More, his Prime Minister and author of "Utopia", and John Fisher, saintly bishop of Rochester, refused to swear. They were both beheaded for their trouble. All in all, before Henry VIII died in 1547, he had around 60 people executed for religious reasons.

The next two hundred years would see the regency of England shift between Anglicans and Catholics, as well as numerous bloody wars over what the state religion should be and who should control it. In 1569 however, a new religious sect appeared in England. They were called "Puritans" because they wanted to purify the church. In 1593 the Puritans were outlawed and several hanged. The persecution of the Puritans continued into the 17th century when they finally packed up and left the country, going to the New World to found the Massachusetts Bay Colony in 1630. The Plymouth Colony was founded in 1620 by a group called "Separatists" who wanted to break away entirely from the Anglican Church. Meanwhile, in Virginia, the royal colony there was founded as an Anglican community and required to conform to the Church of England (though without a bishop, confirmations, ordinations, etc.).

Are you starting to get the picture yet? You have to understand all of this in order to understand the men who lived in these times and why they made the decisions they did. When they signed the Declaration Of Independence in 1776, two-thirds of the signers were nominal members of the Church of England, but they did not want the colonies to be governed by bishops. Many Anglicans fled to Canada or remained as Tories.

One final point, the framers of the Constitution used several models for their new government, the most noteable of which is the Magna Carta which the Barons of England had forced King John to sign in 1215 to establish some measure of control over the English monarchy. Do you know what the very first article of that document says? Here, read it yourself ....
(1) FIRST, THAT WE HAVE GRANTED TO GOD, and by this present charter have confirmed for us and our heirs in perpetuity, that the English Church shall be free, and shall have its rights undiminished, and its liberties unimpaired. That we wish this so to be observed, appears from the fact that of our own free will, before the outbreak of the present dispute between us and our barons, we granted and confirmed by charter the freedom of the Church's elections - a right reckoned to be of the greatest necessity and importance to it - and caused this to be confirmed by Pope Innocent III. This freedom we shall observe ourselves, and desire to be observed in good faith by our heirs in perpetuity.
So here we have the Founding Fathers meeting in Philadelphia in 1787, with the history of church abuses and royal interference in the church fresh in their minds. We're talking about a state-sponsored church with a King or Queen as head of that church. A monarch who absolutely ruled their political and spiritual lives and who could have them beheaded if they practiced any religion other than the state ordained religion.

They decided, and rightly so, that this would be contrary to the new government they were designing so they made sure the First Amendment (first of the so-called "Bill Of Rights") stated quite clearly that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof". Quite plainly they said that Congress was outright denied the ability to establish a state-sponsored religion or to impinge on the rights of any religion the people chose to practice.

In my opinion, our modern secularists such as the ACLU have pushed things way too far and are interpreting the Constitution improperly. Banning Christmas displays from public ground and other such legal opinions are in effect "prohibiting the free exercise" of religion. This was not what the Founding Fathers intended. They simply wanted to keep the government out of the religion business. They did not envision a country where displays of religion would be outlawed. That is the kind of country they had escaped from.

With all that said, I might add that on one side of the equation we have the ACLU and the Socialists who are attempting to force people to practice their religion in seclusion and on the other side we have people like Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson who keep trying to force religion back into government. Both are dead wrong in my opinion and "We, The People" are being caught in the middle of a modern day war over religion that really should not be fought.

I say to all of them, "Leave us alone! If we want to pray, let us pray. If we don't want to pray, leave us in peace. If we want to put up a Christmas tree or celebrate Hannukah or Ramadan, then let us do so without interference. We want freedom of religion, not freedom from religion. That is what Jefferson, Franklin, Madison, Adams, Washington, et al. intended. If Congress tries to pass a law outlawing Islam or declaring the President head of the Baptist Church In America, then we'll call their hand and say "NO-NO!"

Otherwise, just .... let it be.



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 02:08 PM    avatar
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More on Mimimum Wage

I'd meant to post this later but a new reader's comments force me to do this now. The issue is minimum wage and I would venture to say our reader is either uninformed on matters economic, failed it in high school and college, or maybe, just maybe, is of the political persuasion that stresses emotion and feeling rather than logic and fact in the guidance of their decision making process.

Minimum wages HURT rather than help the economy. Politicians, especially Dummycraps, continually beat the drum that our current minimum wage will not allow a person to raise a family. Well, DUH!!! Of course not! If you have a family and have just a minimum wage job, poverty will be your friend for the rest of your life. And deservedly so. Taxpayers and businesses should not have to bail you out because you are incompetent and can not find something better. You should have thought of that before you had kids. Either that or get 2 jobs to support your family.

For you bleeding hearts about to pounce, allow me to state that OCCASIONALLY people lose their jobs and have to get minwage jobs. But if they have any ambition and skills, that job will be transitory.

Now, let's really discuss who earns minimum wage. There may be millions of people who do so but according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics,
"Slightly over half of workers earning $5.15 or less were under age 25, and about one-fourth were age 16-19. ... About 2 percent of workers age 25 and over earned the minimum wage or less."

Many of those people are students or kids just starting out. The rules about ambition and skills apply here, too.

Now, did you know that only about 2% (TWO PERCENT) of American workers OVER 25 earn the minimum wage?

Liberals scream, "OH MY GOD, VILMAR!!! THAT'S AWFUL!! THOSE POOR PEOPLE! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP THEM!"

My response? "FUCK 'EM!!!"

You know why? Because many of those people are either wives looking for something to do to get out of the house and hope to soon transition to something better but do not really need to because hubby earns a good enough salary or they are retirees (like me) who are bored and will take anything as long as it is interesting. Plus we can tell the boss to go fuck himself as we do not need a reference!

Businesses and the American taxpayer should not be saddled with paying you more money just because you think you want more. If you are worth it, quit and get something better. If you are not, I'll see you at a drive-up window when you ask me if I want to "super size that?"

So, enough of my ranting, read this article by Alan Reynolds (a senior fellow at the Cato Institute who previously served as director of economic research at the Hudson Institute and as vice president and chief economist at both Polyconomics and at the First National Bank of Chicago. ) Whaddya think, is he experienced in that about which he speaks? I think so.

See what he has to say about the direct correlation between minimum wage hikes and the increasing numbers of people making LESS THAN minimum wage! Oh, yeah! It happens!

He also says this about those who bray so loud and long for higher minimum wages:
"Cutting off the lowest rung on the ladder of opportunity may please some members of labor organizations who stand much higher on the ladder, because it reduces future competition for better jobs."

So if you are one of those who demand a higher minimum wage you would be subjecting millions of others to even lesser amounts. Surely as a caring and loving liberal you can't have that, can you? Or is it that it is all smoke, mirrors and bullshit to keep the American public misinformed through deceptive emotional outcries?

Oh, one more thing, go read this post I made several months ago about poverty. It will tell you about the fate of those who are in poverty in the US and how many people, when in the bottom quintile of earnings, often go from the bottom to very near the top. Life is a cycle. I should not have to make it my responsibility to guarantee you more money for your labor nor should businesses be saddled with it either.

And when you are done with that one, then go re-read this.

Now, GO!! DISMISSED!!!



Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 10:31 AM    avatar
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3 on S**t-For-Brains, Kerry

Before I start in on The Poodle, I thought I'd share these links with all of you. The first one enables you to get voting records for members of Congress, the second focuses on Kerry but you can change that to anyone though use of their search feature. I got these from a local friend. Thanks, Jeff!

Also, for more info, don't forget to read the Scary Kerry files.


Well, well, well! The Poodle goes around bellowing that President Bush did not read a key Iraq intelligence assessment and it turns out HE, HIMSELF, did not do so prior to voting on it and giving the president authority to go to war.

Of course, his staff is trying to deflect the heat off the issue by saying they want to have a one page presidential summary document released by President Bush.

Fucking hypocritical bastards!


Read this excellent piece by Jeffrey Herbener that exposes the deception, lies, subterfuge and outright hypocrisy of Kerry's desire to raise the minimum wage, provide health care and improve education. The author also discusses how complicity linked the unions are in this whole deception.

But hey!! Come on! When you know, as unions do, what happens when minimum wages are raised, and that it creates an underclass of underemployed and unskilled people, it is, as the author so eloquently puts it:
" perhaps, the most socially malignant way imaginable to raise union wages."

He then walks us through the effects on the economy with this stupid move. I've heard the logic he uses espoused before but for those who have not, try this on for size the next time a liberal tells you we need to raise the minimum wage:
Try as they might, however, activists cannot deny the logic of economics. Otherwise why limit proposals for raising the minimum wage to a paltry $7 an hour? Seventy dollars an hour would be better and $700 better still. Neither would they limit their beneficence to America—they could declare a living wage for everyone and conquer world poverty with the stroke of a pen. That they don’t advocate such patent nonsense is proof that they cannot deny logic in the end."

There's lots more. Please read it. Share it with others. Take cribs notes and carry them with you. Assault liberals with it!


The Poodle flip-flops on abortion........but you are not surprised, are you, dear reader?

Here's what he said in Dubuque:
"I don't like abortion. I believe life begins at conception."

But..........he also adds:
"I can't take my Catholic belief...and legislate it on a Protestant or a Jew or an atheist ... who doesn't share it. We have separation of church and state in the United States of America."

Hey, fucktard! There IS no separation of church and state. You asshole! NOWHERE in the constitution will you find those words. We ARE prohibited, by the constitution, from MANDATING a STATE RELIGION! Dumbass piece of shit!

Therefore, if The Poodle is against abortion, why is it he did not vote for the partial birth abortion bill? And how does he balance and justify his voting record on this issue, the views of the Church he professes to be a member of, and the taking of sacraments in direct violation of Church dogma?


Allow me to end this post with the following which some of you may have already seen a version of this in emails:

Did you know that whereas Sen. Edwards has missed 43 percent of Senate votes while running for President, Sen. Kerry has missed 88 PERCENT!! But do you hear any outcry from the folks in Taxachusetts or North Carolina? Amazing, huh? They have no problem with taxpayers paying these guys $158,000 per year for hardly showing up.

Compare that to Republican Sen. Bob Dole of Kansas who, in 1996, resigned his Senate seat - and his powerful post as Senate GOP leader - shortly before he formally accepted the Republican nomination for president. Shouldn't the American people insist that Kerry & Edwards have the integrity to do the same?

Adding insult to injury, according to the Boston Herald (3/1/04), "Kerry has been a virtual no-show in the U.S. Senate over the past 14 months, but he hasn't missed a paycheck," even though "federal law says some of his $158,000 salary should have been withheld." Edwards continues to cash HIS checks, too.

But, as the New York Post noted (6/16/04), "In 2000, then-Texas Gov. George Bush reimbursed his state a day's salary for every day that he was campaigning out of state and then-Lt. Gov. Rick Perry had to step in as acting governor."

Goes to show the amount of integrity these moonbats have.



Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 07:23 AM    avatar
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Ground Control To Major Tom

The Nigerians are finally getting creative ....


From: Dr. Bakare Tunde

Astronautics Project Manager

National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)

Plot 555 Misau Street

PMB 437 Garki, Abuja, FCT

NIGERIA


Dear Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access this trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account for subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct
number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely,

Dr. Bakare Tunde




Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 06:55 AM    avatar
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A Message For Our Troops

We make no bones about the fact that we support our troops. Both Vilmar and I served in the US Air Force and we want you to pass along some information to any troops serving today. When it comes time to get out, there are organizations dedicated to helping our troops transition to civilian life. We have added a link in our sidebar to one of these groups. It’s called “Helmets To Hard Hats”.

You can read about the efforts of this fine organization at this Department Of Defense on-line article or this article at ENR.COM. So pass the info along to any troops who are getting out soon. There are plenty of jobs out there for you and employers who need your skills. It’s our way of saying “thanks”. Or better yet, just click the banner below to get started on a new civilian career.





Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 12:45 AM    avatar
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Loser!

Slim-Fast has dropped Whoopi Goldberg as spokesperson after her lewd, outrageous comments at a John Kerry fund-raiser in New York last week. Goldberg is one of many Hollywood celebrities who have gone insane with hatred of George Bush and her remarks at the fund-raiser only augmented that fact. Walking on stage with a bottle of wine, Ms. Goldberg drunkenly blasted President Bush in a profanity-laced speech. Democratic candidate John Kerry has since tried to distance himself from the entertainers and their vitriolic statements.

Memo to John Kerry: You are known by the company you keep.





Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 12:37 AM    avatar
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Daily Dose

Quote Of The Day

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat."
-- Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)


On This Day In History

July 15, 1939 - From Indy To Miami
Carl Fisher, the founder of both the Indy 500 and Miami Beach, died in Miami at age 65. Born in Greensburg, Indiana, Fisher grew up racing cars and bicycles and aspired to be a successful inventor. He turned out to be a better businessman than an inventor, and left his first imprint on the business world when he partnered with Fred Avery, who held the patent for pressing carbide gas into tanks. Together, they manufactured car headlamps as the Presto-O-Lite Corporation. By 1910, six years after starting the business, Fisher was a multimillionaire. He bought land and built a track in Indianapolis, paving the track with local brick. By offering the largest single day purse in sport, Fisher guaranteed interest in his epic 500-mile race, and in less than five years "Indy" had become one of the premier car races in the world. In 1915, Fisher led the development effort for the Lincoln Highway, the nation's first continuous cross-continental highway from New York to California. Later, in the 1920s, Fisher developed the Dixie Highway, a road that ran from Michigan to Miami. Fisher fell in love with Miami, and in 1910 he bought a house there. It became his project to develop Miami Beach into a city. Fisher gave $50,000 of his own money to complete the longest wooden bridge in the state, stretching between Miami and Miami Beach. At that time Miami Beach was wild, and Fisher set about cleaning up the beach. He built lavish facilities near the water and invited the rich and famous to check out his creation. The Florida land bust of 1926 and the subsequent stock market crash of 1929 left Fisher penniless, and he lived in a small home on Miami Beach until his death.



Today's Birthdays

Rembrandt, Dutch painter (1606)

Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/15/2004 at 12:08 AM    avatar
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calendar   Wednesday - July 14, 2004

Another Milestone

And the beat goes on .... and the beat goes on .....
Drums keep a-pounding rythym in my brain ....
La-di-da-di-dee .... la-di-da-de-dah ....

There! Now that I've got that song implanted in your brain, it's time to announce another milestone in this blog's storied history. Born in the dark ages of the prehistoric era (back in January), we have managed to survive the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" (with apologies to Hamlet).

Sometime tonight we will be proud to host our 50,000th visitor. Watch the counter below and if you arrive at the rollover mark, grab a screen shot and send it to Vilmar or myself (e-mail addresses are on the sidebar). In return we'll send you a FREE Barking Moonbat Early Warning System coffee mug (which should be available within the next 3-4 weeks, according to our supplier). If anyone else wants one of these valuable collector's items leave your request in the comments on this post so we can guesstimate how many to order. The design is WAY COOL! Batty is on it! YAY!

WE HAVE A TIE! ....................

Both Daniel Karas and Alex Charnya slipped in under the wire at 50,000. Both will receive FREE BMEWS coffee mugs. Thanks to everyone for participating. We love you all. We will send Alex and Daniel their mugs as soon as they are shipped to us. Everyone else must pay up! Hee-hee-hee ...

Saty tuned for number 100,000 .... coming up soon.



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/14/2004 at 05:10 PM    avatar
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Le Bat Villa

With the recent addition of little Batzilla to Batty and Battina's family we discovered we needed to expand our real estate. Actually, Batty has been quite angry about it, dropping pictures of houses (and LegoTM models) on Vilmar's head at odd hours of the night and jumping up out of the toilet (scaring the f**k out of me) just when I'm about to sit down. The little f**ker has been flying back and forth between Florida and Indiana persistently hounding Vilmar and I. We finally decided to surrender to his terrorist acts.

Vilmar and I finally got the hint and ordered a custom-made Bathouse for the little family. It is a nice little three-bedroom ranch with room for up to 300 guests. Maybe with this new house, Batty can keep little Batzilla from screwing around late at night scaring people out of their wits. Don't worry, he has been temporarily "grounded" after this little incident.



The company's sales pitch did it for Batty & Battina:
Our best-selling bat house accommodates up to 300 bats. It is made of western red cedar and has inside chambers covered with HDPE plastic mesh. The landing pad is hand-grooved for entry. This bat house has an interior attic which serves as a thermal buffer between the roof and the bats. We caulk each house to ensure a dry bat house. This is the highest-quality three chamber bat house on the market! This house is ideal for nursing colonies, and larger bat houses like this one have a higher rate of occupancy. Bats provide a great ecological benefit to our environment as pollinators and as the main predators of night flying insects.
Hehehehe .... "night flying insects"? They must be talking about Michael Moore.



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/14/2004 at 03:29 PM    avatar
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Fifteen Minutes

Andy Warhol said everyone gets "fifteen minutes of fame". I haven't had mine yet. I'm still waiting for the world to recognize what an exceptionally intelligent, handsome, humanitarian I am. Not to mention my famed humility. One day you will all be able to say "I knew him when ....".

But don't worry .... on that fine day when the media surrounds me to congratulate me for (a) curing cancer, (b) curing the common cold, (c) bringing peace to the middle east, (d) inventing a car that runs on urine, or (e) winning the Nobel Prize for proving that France actually doesn't exist .... yes, on that fine day, my first words to the world will be "I owe it all to my blog-friends".

With that said however, there are already several people out there who have outstayed their welcome, i.e., they have used up their fifteen minutes of fame and are borrowing time from others. Here is my short list of people who IMHO never actually contributed anything to the world, should never have been famous in the first place and who really, really, really just need to go the f**k away ....

1. O.J. Simpson
2. Scott Peterson
3. Kobe Bryant (and his accuser)
4. Michael Moore
5. Jesse Jackson
6. Richard Simmons
7. Kofi Annin
8. Ted Kennedy
9. Jerry Springer

.... and the worst offender of all time .......

10. Brittany Spears, who has now turned into an alcoholic slut who wears the same clothes four days in a row.

If you can think of anyone else who should be on this list please don't hesitate to tell me ....

Update: You can add Rosie O'Donnell to the list .... and for God's sake please add the stoopid editor who chose this headline for a story about her.



Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 07/14/2004 at 02:55 PM    avatar
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More United Nations Nonsense

There is an AIDS conference going on in Thailand right now How appropriate.....Thailand, where women are women, men are women, children are sold into prostitution and where, as we used to say in the Air Force whenever we got deployed there, "I'm going to go to Thailand and work for the railroad.....laying ties (Thais) (OK, so it doesn't work as well written as spoken.)

Anyway, here we are at this conference and a bunch of protestors begin yelling "Bush Lies, Millions Die!" Then you have assholes (yep, he goes on the shitlist now, too!) like Richard (Gerbil) Gere saying that AIDS is a weapon of mass destruction. Could it be he is so full of shit from that impacted gerbil up his butt that garbage like this just gushes from his mouth? Somebody shove a gerbil in that asshole's mouth to stanch that flow.

What the fuck any of that nonsense they spew has to do with AIDS I do not know but........... as the country single-handedly responsible for providing for aid than the whole rest of the world combined, you'd think we'd get some gratitude.

Panty-waisted liberals and anarchist activists are also pissed off we are advocating abstinence as a form of controlling the spread of the disease and they are all up in arms over this. "How can Bush say this?" "Kids will have sex anyway!" "Give them condoms!!" "They have a right to pleasure. It's in the constitution someplace, I know it!!"

Listening to Rush Limbaugh a while ago I heard him bring up some good points. If liberals have such an attitude about sex because they think there is nothing we can do to stop people (especially kids) from engaging in it, then let's take it another step forward. We know lots of kids are going to try smoking. We know lots of kids are going to try drinking. Why not just tell them to come home, do it in their room and as they are engaged in it, leave cigarettes and some beer near their door?

The liberal response will be, "GASP!!! We can't have kids drinking and smoking!!! It will kill them eventually if they do not stop that dangerous behavior!"

Yet why is it they feel it is OK for these kids to engage in something that, through the tiniest of holes or imperfections or absent any protection whatsoever, will condemn those kids to a death much faster, much nastier than one through smoking and drinking? And cost taxpayers a shitload more money to keep these creatures alive?

Just what is it that is so bad about doing something 100% guaranteed NOT to cause contraction of the disease? Condoms can NEVER give you that assurance.

I am already pissed off at having my wallet tapped by these government sons of bitches and when so many of these AIDS problems can be stopped through a bit of self-control, common sense and a decent sense of morality, I REALLY get pissed off when my wallet gets tapped to take care of people who purposely engage in risky behavior. Even worse is that they BITCH about my not giving them even MORE money so they can continue to engage more often in that behavior.

Sorry folks, but natural selection is being denied in many of these whining countries because their own government won't take care of their people. Why is it that I have to pay to make them well or ease their pain or extend their life only to earn their abuse and lack of gratitude?

What we need are counter protestors yelling, "ZIP THAT FLY AND YOU WON'T DIE!!"

P.S. Don't EVEN think about starting in on me about the people that contracted AIDS through blood transfusions or rape. Yes, those people are not responsible for what happened to them and we should do all we can to help them. I am addressing those who insist on engaging in risky behavior whether they are in the US and are simply stupid or in other countries where they are stupid AND ignorant and refuse to listen.



Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/14/2004 at 01:58 PM    avatar
United-NationsTrackbacks (0) • Permalink

It’s Only For Our Own Good, Of Course!

Gee!! This ought to make you feel safe and warm and cozy and protected.

The UN wants to stop spam! Imagine that! An organization so ineffectual, so corrupt, so worthless that it habitually appoints violators of human rights to head the Human Rights commission, the organization that passed 17 resolutions against Saddam Hussein but never did anything to him, the organization that was in cahoots with Saddam and stole billions of dollars from Iraq in an oil-for-food scandal thinks it can stop spam.

You know how it will begin, right? An innocuous "tax" of $0.000001 cents per email. Think about it. It's not that much. You'd have to send 10,000 emails to pay one cent. But then they'd say it was "per person addressed". Still, no big deal, right? However BILLIONS and BILLIONS of emails are sent weekly. Now we are talking real money. And where would all that money go? Into the dark and very deep well of the most corrupt fuckers on this planet--the dictators who'd find a way to tap that little golden spigot.



Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 07/14/2004 at 07:08 AM    avatar
United-NationsTrackbacks (0) • Permalink
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