When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
Saturday - July 10, 2004
Light Hearted Stuff for Saturday
With a tip o' the hat to Sandy, I bring you some light hearted reading today.Subject: Blondes
DEAD BMW
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often?"
EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out," he says.
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
RIVER WALK
There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo!” she shouts, “How can I get to the other side?” The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, “You ARE on the other side.”
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, “We were the first in space!”
The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”
The Blonde said, “So what? We’re going to be the first on the sun!”
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!” said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?”
She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“HelOOOooo,” answered the blond. “They’re watch dogs!”
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/10/2004 at 01:47 PM
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on 07/10/2004 at 01:47 PM
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Batty’s Back
Another blog site update: I finally decided to invest in a professional logo creation package and tinker around with the site banner and a few other odds and ends to further personalize the site instead of using the canned templates we've been using. I got "The Logo Creator" from LaughingBird Software and went to work.First of all, I decided that after all the complaints from our readers it was time to put Batty back on the banner. So he's there, snarling and overseeing everything again. He's guarding the flag to make sure no damned hippies try to burn it. I dug through the image library provided with Logo Creator and stumbled across the image you see on the left. I thought it was cool, with the Pentagon (which is also home plate in baseball). Radar dish mounted on top and fighter aircraft scrambled - it just kinda fits.
All that was left was the site name. Logo Creator lets you insert text and do all kinds of magical things to it, like give it a metallic, embossed, gradient look like you see. Altogether, it seemed to me to give the site a high-impact powerful logo.
Let me know what you think. I may tinker with it a bit more but for now I'm pleased with the new look.
Note: Last night I secretly changed the master background to a high-contrast blue-gray stripe and when Vilmar got up this morning he freaked. Naturally, I told him I couldn't see any stripes. He rebooted his computer to see if it would clear it up. I finally confessed to the evil deed. Hey, we have to dork with our Benevolent Dictator occasionally just to keep him awake. Mheh-heh-he-he ....
Baseball Update: The Cubbies lost badly to the Cards last night but there's two more games in St. Louis before the All-Star Break next week. Cubs placed Sammy Sosa, Moises Alou and Carlos Zambrano on the NL All-Stars team. Sammy will be in the Home Run Derby on Monday for the sixth time.
Dirtbags on the Left Coast
A solider returns from fighting in Iraq. He was wounded there. He participates in his hometown 4th of July parade and hears what all soldiers fear: cries of baby killer, murderer, and lots of "boos!"It all started when one of the parade announcers looks at him and in a sarcastic voice, says into the microphone, "And what exactly are you a veteran of?" That's all the crowd needed to begin its atrocious behavior.
Of course, she is now backpedaling so fast her shoes melted off her feet. Her defenders are saying those words were directed to President Bush and not the soldier.
And, also, this happened in the Socialist state of Washington on the leftist paradise of Bainbridge Island where Kerry's supporters marching in the parade were cheered to high heaven.
One last note: that announcer's father? He died in Vietnam.
(must.....control....the......fist......of........death!)
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/10/2004 at 07:18 AM
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on 07/10/2004 at 07:18 AM
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Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award
This week's award goes to an organization within the United Nations, the International Court Of Justice. On July 9, the court handed down an "advisory" decision declaring Israel's wall, that is being built to keep out Paleswinian terrorists, is illegal. The Barking Moonbat Of The Week Award is not being given to them because of this idiotic decision but because for fifty years they never said a word about another wall, in Berlin. The Berlin Wall was built to keep East Germans from escaping to freedom in the West, guaranteeing the virtual slavery of these people for half a century. The ICJ, which was founded in 1946, never uttered a peep about that wall but now it seems they think the Israelis are wrong to try to protect themselves from madmen with bombs strapped to their chests.For those who are interested, there was one lone dissenting vote on the decision, from Judge Thomas Buergenthal, who is the only member of the court from the United States. You can read his declaration here.
In case you're wondering, don't expect the ICJ to rule any time soon on the illegality of the Great Wall Of China either. The president of the court is Shi Jiuyong .... from Communist China. Other members of the court are from Egypt, Jordan, Venezuela, Sierra Leone, France, etc. The court's composition is available here.
The International Court Of Justice
Daily Dose
Quote Of The Day"The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time."
-- Anonymous Navy Pilot
On This Day In History
July 10, 1987 - The Sinking Of The Rainbow Warrior
In Auckland harbor in New Zealand, Greenpeace's Rainbow Warrior sinks after French agents in diving gear plant a bomb on the hull of the vessel. One person, Dutch photographer Fernando Pereira, was killed. The Rainbow Warrior, the flagship of international conservation group Greenpeace, had been preparing for a protest voyage to a French nuclear test site in the South Pacific.
Two days after the incident, French authorities denied responsibility in the bombing and continued to do so even after New Zealand police arrested two French secret service agents in Auckland. Under pressure from New Zealand authorities, the French government formed an inquiry to investigate the incident and after several weeks concluded that the French agents were merely spying on Greenpeace. Later in the year, however, a British newspaper uncovered evidence of French President Francois Mitterrand's authorization of the bombing plan, leading to several top-level resignations in Mitterrand's cabinet and an admission by French Prime Minister Laurent Fabius that the agents had sunk the vessel under orders.
In Auckland, the two agents pleaded guilty to the lesser charges of manslaughter and willful damage and were each sentenced to 10 years in prison. Following negotiations with the French government, New Zealand released them a year later. In 1992, President Mitterrand ordered a halt to French nuclear testing, but in 1995 it was resumed, and Greenpeace sent The Rainbow Warrior II to French Polynesia to protest and disrupt the tests.
Today's Birthdays
John Calvin, Theologian (1509)
David Brinkley, News broadcaster (1920)
Arthur Ashe, American tennis player (1943)
Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
Friday - July 09, 2004
First Aid
Are you spending too much time on-line? If so, click here. Help is standing by.Top Gun
We have secretly obtained pictures of the US Navy's newest super stealth fighter.Well, almost ....
It's too bad. This plane deserves to be real.
Give me a friggin’ break!
California's Secretary of Education says something that you or I would call stupid and now demands are being made for his head! On a platter, no less! Here's the scene:The Secretary is at summer reading event.
A little 6 year old named Isis comes up and asks him if he knew that her name meant "Egyptian goddess."
He says it meant "stupid dirty girl." OK, that's crass. Moronic. I'll give you that. But reason to fire him? I don't think so. This whole political correctness shit is growing weary to me. Are we so thin skinned we can't tolerate something stupid? What? The little girl is going to be severely traumatized over this? Yeah, if you allow the panty-waisted liberals and the media have their way. Hell, they are probably insisting the mother take her to counseling right now to improve her self esteem.
Anyway, you gotta love a guy who's a bit crass. Especially when he does stuff like this:
"As mayor, he once greeted hunger strikers outside his office eating a hamburger."
Priceless.
Continuing: the mother has already stated Riordan's apologized. She considers the matter closed. She also said, "I'm not going to sue them for therapy bills."
But do you think the media is letting this go? Of course not. Riordan is rich. He was the mayor of Los Angeles. There's money to be made here as far as the media jackals are concerned.
Better still is the racial hysteria instigated by none other than a state assemblyman. We can probably guess what racial persuasion HE is.
"Democratic state Assemblyman Mervyn Dymally, who had scheduled a protest by civil rights organizations, canceled the demonstration after an apparent mix-up over the girl's racial background. Dymally was quoted in the San Jose Mercury News Thursday saying the child was "a little African-American girl. Would he (Riordan) have done that to a white girl?"
The stupid fuck AUTOMATICALLY assumed that a name of Isis meant the girl was a minority. Now, WHO'S the FUCKING RACIST???!?!?!?!?! By the way, the girl is white. A blond, too. With blue eyes.
Then the stupid moonbat fucktard would not return phone calls inquiring about his stupid-ass move. Know what he said?
"To err is human; to forgive is divine."
But apparently to forgive a secretary of education is not allowed. Stupid racist bastard.
More info.
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/09/2004 at 03:00 PM
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on 07/09/2004 at 03:00 PM
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LITTLE BITS OF NEWS and WEIRD STUFF, TOO!!
First, the NewsIt's way past time for Presidents to start doing stuff like this. President Bush has turned down an invitation to speak at the NAACP convention next week.
GOOD FOR HIM!!! Come, on! Give me a break! If you kept getting invitations to attend events where you were always criticized, where the whole organization can't stand your guts, and where you are ridiculed, what incentive would you have to go? The NAACP is a worthless organization mired in racial hatred and bigotry. For some reason they never complain when Dummycraps have virtually no representation in the US cabinet or in high offices of the DNC when the sitting President is a Dummycrap. But when it's a Republican at the helm, even two HUGE cabinet positions filled by Blacks is not enough to place them. How hypocritical can THAT be? It looks like President Bush is letting them know he sees through their bullshit.
FUCK THEM AND THE HORSE THEY RODE IN ON! Good on ya' Dubya!
The caterwauling about Bush and Cheney being tied to Halliburton is ceaseless from the Dummycraps and the media lap dogs kissing their ass.
So here's a nice twist. It looks like Enron favored nicely in The Poodle's portfolio. Not only that but he's had to return contributions from an implicated Enron representative.
And the topper of all toppers? Teresa (pronounced "Teh-RAY-Zah", as in, "Kerry plans Teresa your taxes!") sat on a board with Ken Lay!
Think you'll hear about this on the news? Yeah, right! And pigs will fly, too!
The Weird Stuff (thanks for the links go to Neal Boortz's site)
Want to know the 100 WORST titles in porn movies?
Um Hmmm, oh, yeah, it's nasty so if you have kids, put them in another room while you laugh your ass off.
Feel like performing your own circumcision? OW!! OUCH!! YIKES!!!
Check out The SmartKlamp: Single Use Automatic Circumcisions (note: not for the squeamish!)
John Kerry’s wife
I got this from a friend (thanks, Ana!) and I have no reason to believe the information is false simply from what I, myself, have read. I just never put all the names together.Anyway, read about The Poodle's wife. Then ask yourself this question: "IF The Poodle gets elected, won't his wife's associations with these groups and with these companies be considered a conflict of her own financial best interests given that the span is global? Can you imagine him as President making decisions impacting our national security or decisions affecting trade relations or our economy given the countries his wife's businesses are in? How comfortable will we be that any decision he makes will not have an impact on his wife's ability to make money (or be able to protect it if it is in a blind trust) for when he leaves office?
Anyway, here goes (I've edited a bit off the ends so you may already have seen this in your emails having come from like minded friends.)
Please send this to as many people as you can.
OBTW if anyone has a corporate legal background and can explain how The Poodle can position himself in such a manner that the issues I mention above become moot, I am all ears!
As time goes on, we're just getting to know the possible future First Lady of the United States of America, and it is quite interesting. You'll be hearing even more about Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic front-runner.
She has quite a track record, especially when it comes to the causes she donates to. One of her favorite charities is the Tides Foundation.
What is that, you ask? This foundation sends hundreds of millions of dollars to groups that protested the invasion of Iraq; that demands open U.S. borders; and provides legal defense for suspected terrorists. Among other groups supported by Kerry's wife: Ramsey Clark's International Action Center. This is the same Ramsey Clark that offered to defend Saddam Hussein.
Another group seeks to ease restrictions on immigration from terrorist nations.
Another group has links to the terrorist group Hamas. And on and on.
American jobs are OUTSOURCED (outside the US!) by John F. Kerry and his wife Teresa Heinz-Kerry!
We need to ask:
Why not manufacture in America and ship finished products overseas?
How many American workers are in these Heinz overseas factories?
HEINZ WATTIE'S AUSTRALASIA - Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
HEINZ SINGAPORE PTE. LTD. - Republic of Singapore
HEINZ WATTIE'S LIMITED - Auckland, New Zealand
HEINZ JAPAN LTD - Tokyo, Japan
HEINZ-UFE LTD. - Guangzhou, People’s Republic of China
HEINZ COSCO - Qingdao, People’s Republic of China
HEINZ KOREA LTD. - Inchon, South Korea
HEINZ WIN CHANCE LTD. - Bangkok, Thailand
HEINZ INDIA PRIVATE LIMITED - Mumbai, India
PT HEINZ ABC INDONESIA - Jakarta, Indonesia
PT HEINZ SUPRAMA - Surabaya, Indonesia
HEINZ UFC PHILIPPINES - Manila, the Philippines
HEINZ HONG KONG LIMITED - Wanchai, Hong Kong
H. J. HEINZ (Botswana) (Proprietary) LTD. - Gaborone, Botswana
KGALAGADI SOAP INDUSTRIES (Pty) LTD. - Gaborone, Botswana
REFINED OIL PRODUCTS (Pty) LTD. - Gaborone, Botswana
OLIVINE INDUSTRIES (Private) LIMITED - Harare, Zimbabwe
CHEGUTU CANNERS (Pvt) LTD. - Chegutu, Zimbabwe
HEINZ SOUTH AFRICA (PTY) LTD. - Johannesburg, South Africa
HEINZ WELLINGTON’S (PTY) LTD. - Wellington, South Africa
HEINZ EUROPE - Hayes, Middlesex, England
H. J. HEINZ COMPANY LIMITED - Hayes Park, Hayes, Middlesex, England
H. J. HEINZ COMPANY LIMITED - Rovereto, Italy
H. J. HEINZ COMPANY LIMITED - Telford, England
JOHN WEST FOODS LIMITED - Liverpool, England
H. J. HEINZ FROZEN & CHILLED FOODS LIMITED - Hayes, Middlesex, England
H. J. HEINZ COMPANY (IRELAND) LIMITED - Dublin, Ireland
H.J. HEINZ COMPANY OF CANADA LTD - North York, Ontario, Canada
OMSTEAD FOODS LIMITED - Wheatley, Ontario, Canada
ALIMENTOS HEINZ C.A. - Caracas, Venezuela
DISTRIBUIDORA BANQUETE, S.A. - San Josi, Costa Rica
HEINZ ITALIA S.r.l. - Milan, Italy
FATTORIA SCALDASOLE, S.p.a. - Monguzzo, Italy
COPAIS FOOD AND BEVERAGE COMPANY, S.A. - Athens, Greece
HEINZ POLSKA Sp. Z.O.O. - Warsaw, Poland
PUDLISZKI S.A. - Pudliszki, Poland
WODZISLAW, S.A. - Wodzislaw, Poland
ETS. PAULET S.A. - Douarnenez, France
H. J. HEINZ FROZEN S.A.R.L. - Paris, France
HEINZ IBERICA S.A. - Madrid, Spain
IDAL (Industrias de Alimentacc, Lda.) - Lisbon, Portugal
MIEDZYCHOD S.A. - Miedzychod, Poland
HEINZ C.I.S. - Moscow, Russia
HEINZ GEORGIEVSK - Georgievsk, Russia
CAIRO FOOD INDUSTRIES SAE - Cairo, Egypt
HEINZ REMEDIA LIMITED - Tel Aviv, Israel
STAR-KIST FOOD DB’OR LIMITED - Haifa, Israel
H. J. HEINZ GMBH - Dm2 m3%ldorf, Germany
SONNEN BASSERMANN - Seesen, Germany
KONINKLIJKE DE RUIJTER BV - The Netherlands
HAK BV - The Netherlands
FOODMARK - The Netherlands
HONIG MERKARTIKELEN BV - The Netherlands
DRUKKERIJ DE GROENBOER - The Netherlands
H. J. HEINZ B.V . - Elst, The Netherlands
H. J. HEINZ BELGIUM S.A. - Brussels, Belgium
SERV-A-PORTION - Turnhout, Belgium
Arimpex Industrie Alimentari S.R.L. - Rovereto, Italy
Comexo S.A. - Chateaurenard, France
HEINZ EUROPE - UK and IRELAND - Factories: Chorley, Fakenham, Grimsby,
Kendal, Kitt Green, Leaminton, Luton, Okehampton, Telford, Westwick
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/09/2004 at 11:11 AM
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on 07/09/2004 at 11:11 AM
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Israel kicks ass!
What a hell of a success rate--105 out of 109 suicide attempts thwarted! That is impressive. I only hope the Israelis killed the sons of bitches they found with these things. Then, of course, also their families, dogs, cats, goats, (you get the picture!)And who says a wall does not work to keep out the verminous infidels!!!
Speaking of which, maybe the Israelis ought to go pay the World Court a visit and lob a few mortar rounds in there while they are at it.
It is to be reported today that the Court has declared Israel's wall to be illegal. What gall these bastards have! The one single thing that has reduced terrorist attacks on the Jews and the World Court says it has to be torn down?
That's like telling a man constantly shot at by criminals that he can't wear a bullet proof best or carry a Kevlar shield to protect himself. This would be the equivalent of the World Court telling the US it could not continue the SDI initiative back in President Reagan's day. I guess as far as they are concerned we do not have a right to protect ourselves but terrorists have the right to kill us.
Then again, considering the stupid fucks sitting on the world court, this is to be expected. Nothing would make them happier than a defeated Israel. I hope the Jews tell them to go suck hind tit.
Castration Is Next
The pussification of the American male has now reached the point of no return. Men, it's all over now unless you're prepared to take a stand. You're either for us or .... you're sitting down.Indianapolis Web Jackpot
Meet Kerry Edwards, a bail bondsman here in Indianapolis. Very soon he will be a lot richer. See if you can guess why .... and no, it has nothing to do with the fact that he looks an awful lot like James Earl Jones. Please note in the story below how much the Kerry-Edwards campaign was willing to pay him. Mheh-heh-he ....
The Web site an Indianapolis bail bondsman started two years ago so he could post a photo of his toddler became an instant bonanza on Tuesday.
Suddenly kerryedwards.com was a highly sought-after Web address. But back in 2002, the 34-year-old Indianapolis man was the only one with an interest in it. He bought the rights and posted a picture of his now 4-year-old son, Kerry Parker Edwards. He figured few would ever see it.
On Tuesday, the site received more than 51,000 hits.
Phone calls to the 22 N. Delaware St. 24-hour bail bonding office began around 8 a.m., said Joyce Carlson, who owns the business with her husband.
One of the first calls was from the newly formed Kerry-Edwards campaign, asking Edwards to donate his Web domain to the campaign. Edwards said he's in no financial position to give it away, especially when he says offers up to $30,000 are pouring in.
Since the announcement, Edwards said he's received about 75 calls and more than 200 e-mails about the site. They have included offers from an advertising company, a Wisconsin investment group and a Republican in Texas promising to pay more than the highest bidder to keep the site out of the hands of Democrats.
Full story at Indiananpolis Star News.
Daily Dose
Quote Of The Day"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
-- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)
On This Day In History
July 9, 1846 - U.S. Takes San Francisco
Shortly after the Mexican War began, U.S. Captain John Montgomery sailed his warship into San Francisco Bay, anchoring just off the settlement of Yerba Buena. On this day in 1846, Montgomery led a party of marines and sailors ashore. They met no resistance and claimed the settlement for the United States, raising the American flag in the central plaza. The following year, the Americans renamed the village San Francisco.
Surprisingly, Europeans did not discover the spectacular San Francisco Bay until 1769, although several explorers had sailed by it in earlier centuries. When Spanish explorers finally found the bay in that year, they immediately recognized its strategic value. In 1776, the Spanish built a military post on the tip of the San Francisco peninsula and founded the mission of San Francisco de Asis (the Spanish name for Saint Francis of Assisi) nearby. The most northern outpost of the Spanish, and later Mexican, empire in America, the tiny settlement remained relatively insignificant for several decades. However, the potential of the magnificent harbor did not escape the attention of other nations. In 1835, the British Captain William Richardson established a private settlement on the shore of Yerba Buena Cove, several miles to the east of the Mexican mission. That same year the U.S. government offered to purchase the bay, but the Mexicans declined to sell.
In retrospect, the Mexicans should have sold while they still had the chance. A little more than a decade later, a dispute between the U.S. and Mexico over western Texas led to war and the eventual annexation of California by the U.S. When the Mexicans formally ceded California to the United States in the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe, San Francisco was still a small town with perhaps 900 occupants. That same year, however, gold was discovered at the nearby Sutter's Fort. San Francisco became the gateway for a massive gold rush, and by 1852, the town was home to more than 36,000.
Editor's Note: Can we please give it back to Mexico? Pretty please?
Today's Birthdays
Nikola Tesla, Electrical engineer & inventor (1856)
Samuel Eliot Morison, American historian (1887)
Tom Hanks, American actor (1956)
Thanks to The Quotations Page - The History Channel - The Biography Channel.
Thursday - July 08, 2004
2,000,000 BC
I've been considering this for some time and I think I finally have the answer. I've been pondering why the Liberals in this country hate George W. Bush so much and why they're practically on the point of self-explosion every time they think of him (which is almost every waking minute of every day). They have almost approached obsessive-compulsive behavior over Bush. Al Gore is a prime example. His every recent public speech starts out calm but before he gets two minutes into it he has evolved into the spitting, screaming, vein-bulging, Bush-bashing robot from hell. It's amazing to watch. Observe the protestors parading down our streets too. Their silly signs spout all kind of nonsense that they surely cannot believe - not if they are rational. They protest against Bush by getting naked in the park and taking pictures. Can anyone call this "normal"?This behavior is abnormal and anti-social, to say the least. Conservatives, like myself, find ourselves in a quandary. If we fight back against these people with the same neurotic behavior, we stoop to their level. Plus, they accuse us of being "mean", the so-called "vast right-wing conspiracy" or calling us the "republican attack machine". If we ignore them and try to go about our business, they escalate their madness as though only they can "see the light" and we're ignoring them at our own peril. There seems to be no way to reason with them and their concept of a "common meeting ground" is for the rest of us to fall in step with their blathering idiocy and go along with their agenda.
Where and when did this mad behavior of theirs start? If you said after the 2000 election, you're wrong. After extensive archeological research on the matter, I think it started about 2 million years ago somewhere in Africa when caveman Agor decided that caveman Gobus was evil.
Gobus was better at hunting antelope because he was a strong man, a good hunter and he carefully stalked his prey. Agor was not as good a hunter because he was slightly near-sighted .... and lazy. While Agor hung back at the rear of the hunting party, whining about the midday heat and complaining that they were hunting on the wrong range, Gobus was carefully following the spoor of the antelope herd and carefully monitoring the wind to make sure the party stayed upwind of the prey. When the antelope herd was finally found and the hunting party prepared to attack, Agor complained that the antelope were beautiful creatures who should be spared and the hunting party should just go back to their caves and eat turnips .... or else the gods would be angry with them. Agor pointed to the sky where the sun was starting to set and proclaimed that the gods were already angry since they were taking the sun away again. He then turned and ran back to the communal caves and tried to stir up trouble with the womenfolk.
When the hunting party returned with piles of fresh meat, the tribe gathered around for the feast .... including Agor and his bastard son Kerr. Agor and Kerr helped themselves to the meat while everyone praised Gobus for another successful hunt. Gobus was a generous man and tried to make sure everyone was fed. The tribe loved him for this. Agor only ground his teeth in anger and yelled that Gobus was being too generous with his fellow hunters and that the tribe should share the food equally among everyone. Kerr agreed with his angry father at first but then changed his mind when he spotted another haunch of meat no one had taken.
What really stirred Agor's anger was the fact that Gobus was so well liked by the tribe. It never occurred to him that if he would just resolve his own issues and try to be more helpful, he might be more popular. He thought it was all Gobus' fault. It all started when the tribal elders decided to move the tribe away from Flada against Agor's wishes. He blamed Gobus for that and hated him ever since, finding any and every excuse to hurl accusations at Gobus .... which Gobus ignored. This only made Agor angrier and he infected Kerr's mind with his hatred. Things were coming to a boil in cavemanland.
Finally, one day the hunting party returned with plenty of meat but one of the hunters had been killed by a lion that slipped up on the hunting party just as they attacked the antelope. Agor was outraged and started screaming that Gobus had needlessly endangered the tribe by not working with the Fren tribe over in the next valley. He wailed that Gobus was greedy and instead of asking for help from the Fren he had caused the tribe to lose a good hunter. He claimed that Gobus lied when he took the party out that morning, that Gobus must have known lions would be out there. Agor started foaming at the mouth and dancing around, stripping off his loincloth and giggling insanely.
Gobus calmly watched him for a few moments then looked over to the elders who just nodded their heads. With a resigned sigh, Gobus walked over to the babbling Agor and bopped him on the head with his club, splitting his skull wide open. In the sudden silence, everyone could hear Kerr wail loudly for his lost father. Screaming hatred at Gobus, he ran off in the direction of the Fren tribe where he knew he would be welcome. Like him and his father Agor, they never bathed either.
So there you have it. Down through the years the Agor and Gobus DNA have continued to fight it out. Athens against Sparta. Rome against Carthage. England against Germany. France against France. And so on.
So you see it's all in the genes. Some of us want to be fed and happy and some of us are barking mad. Don't believe it? Look around you ....
What will environmentalists do now!
OH NO!!! Something worse and more evil than nasty cars spewing our emissions turns out to be...........................PEAT BOGS!!!SCREAM!!!! EEEEEKK!!!!! OH, NO!! NOT peat bogs!
Yep, turns out they are spewing so much carbon dioxide into the atmosphere that it is now considered a threat in the global warming scare.
My question is this: what will the tree hugging enviro-weenies do now? Demand catalytic converters or CO2 scrubbers be placed over all bogs? Stupid fucks probably will. Or demand everything human do from now on produce ZERO emissions as Mother Earth, GAIA, is in the process of purging herself from all the collective damage they allege we nasty humans have done over the ages?
Maybe what should happen is those stupid moonbats should kill themselves off in order to decrease the human population and the resultant human-caused pollution.
Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler
on 07/08/2004 at 09:56 PM
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on 07/08/2004 at 09:56 PM
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