Monday - November 16, 2009

It says “solutions oriented” on my resume

And that isn’t a lie. It means finding a middle ground to please both sides. It took me about 20 minutes of research to find two steps that can make everybody happy.

On the other hand, fuck the crybaby liberals in Boston. Cry in your lattes, bitches. They ought to be outnumbered about 100,000 to 1, so “democracy” says ... screw you.

(posted at Vilmar’s, Weasel Zippers, etc)

Old Ironsides’ upscale Charlestown neighbors are trying to pull off what British, French and Barbary pirate guns failed to accomplish in more than two centuries - silencing the cannons of the nation’s oldest commissioned naval vessel.

Miffed residents of a posh condo complex have invited the commanding officer of the USS Constitution over for a glass of wine so he can hear for himself that the frigate’s twice-daily cannon blasts - a tradition dating to 1798 - are “more disruptive to the neighborhood than you might have imagined.”

Commanding Officer Timothy Cooper received the most recent complaint two weeks ago from neighbors suggesting naval officers assigned to the historic vessel eliminate the morning and evening blasts on weekends, reduce the size of the gunpowder charge and turn down the volume of the national anthem recording played during the daily flag raising and lowering ceremonies.

“The residential population and congestion of this area has (sic) grown significantly and, it seems to us, that the cannon charge/noise is excessive,” the unidentified resident first wrote in an Aug. 26, 2009, letter obtained by the Herald.

High-end condominium developments have sprung up across from the Charlestown Navy Yard over the past decade, transforming the once hardscrabble waterfront into a toney enclave.

“Over the summer, we have entertained several times, and we have had guests sit up in shock when the cannon goes off,” the resident wrote. “It has also awakened them at 8 a.m. while they are vacationing and then blasted them again at sunset.”

Cooper, a 39-year-old Marshfield native, said he was surprised by the complaint, but he wants to work with the residents. “We’re hoping to find a way where we can be good neighbors and maintain the tradition,” he said.

The legendary, 204-foot-long battleship is equipped to hold 44 cannons, but only two take turns shooting a four-foot blast of gunpowder twice a day, Cooper said.

Hey, the Navy was here first, so bite me.

OTOH, if you read the original article and watch the little video, Gunner’s Mate 1st Class Suzanne Dangler does a walk through of the firing procedure. Inside the old cannon is a cleverly hidden 40mm Saluting Gun. It’s pretty much the breech and barrel stub from an old one barrel Bofors gun welded in under a false cover plate.

When the Constitution fires off it’s twice daily salutes, it fires from the port side out over the wharf. Old Ironsides is berthed pointed out to sea, so shooting over the wharf is firing in the direction of town. Where the whiny condo dwellers live. Firing from the starboard side out over her own small private bay would be quieter, but it wouldn’t be at all photogenic, and the saluting exercise is both a tradition and a photo op for the tourists.

Facts?
The 40mm Saluting Round is a standard issue munition. It’s a cut down Bofors case filled with 200gm propellant. Looks like black powder to me from the flash. The same DODIC B650 round is used on all ships:

40mm Salute fired on the USS Tarawa

The 40mm Saluting munition DODIC B650

Solutions?
The DODIC B650 Munition has a physical twin called the DODIC B550. The B550 is made with only 50gm of propellant. Right now, the B550 munition is only authorized for use at the Marine Barracks in Washington DC and at the Marine Headquarters (FMPAC) at Camp Smith in Hawaii. Both are densely populated areas, yes? Hmmm.

The USS Constitution was also built with bow chasers. This means is has cannon ports that face forward. The bow chasers are the same kind of cannon used in other parts of the ship. These cannon are on wheels. So move a couple around. Using the bow ports would still give the tourists the photo op, but it would point the guns away from land.

Expand the munition authorization, move the cannon. Then everybody is happy. Except me. And Vilmar and Weasel. And any Americans who respect the Navy and it’s traditions. Which ought to be hundreds of millions of us.

I say use a proper full on charge of real black powder in one of the 32 pounders. That’s probably about 10lbs of gun powder. I’m certain that’s much louder than any dinky old salute round, either 200gm or 50gm. Add salutes at dawn and noon. Hell, use the ship as a cuckoo clock, and fire the guns off once an hour, every hour.

Others say replace the blanks with iron cannon balls and have at it. Nice idea, but you’d have to fire over Navy buildings, and those old smoothbores never were that accurate. Not worth the risk to your own stuff, although the odds of hitting a Conservative in Boston are pretty slim.

Oh, and for those who noticed that the old ship is looking kind of stubby: right now the Constitution is undergoing another renovation, which will replace the upper decking and the top part of the masts. Every board cut by hand, every treenail hand hammered, every bit of strapping hand forged. The mid-part of the ship is also being opened up, taking out a length of rail that was put in many years ago and replacing it with original style netting. When the $6 million job is finished late next year, the ship will be as close to original as it’s been in over 100 years. Pity that all the renovations mean that only about 15% of the ship is original, but that’s what you get with wood, iron, and salt water.

Posted by Drew458     on 11/16/2009 at 09:31 PM   
Filed Under: • planes, trains, tanks, ships, machines, automobiles •  
• Comments (4) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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