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calendar   Tuesday - February 07, 2006

Ice Age Conspiracy

Two stories to relate to you this morning. The first one comes from a scientist in Russia who says we’re about to enter another little Ice Age due to less heat coming from the sun. I just happened to see this right after getting my weekly updates from Scientific American (more on that below) ....

Scientist predicts ‘mini Ice Age’
ST. PETERSBURG, Russia, Feb. 7 (UPI)

A Russian astronomer has predicted that Earth will experience a “mini Ice Age” in the middle of this century, caused by low solar activity. Khabibullo Abdusamatov of the Pulkovo Astronomic Observatory in St. Petersburg said Monday that temperatures will begin falling six or seven years from now, when global warming caused by increased solar activity in the 20th century reaches its peak, RIA Novosti reported.

The coldest period will occur 15 to 20 years after a major solar output decline between 2035 and 2045, Abdusamatov said. Dramatic changes in the earth’s surface temperatures are an ordinary phenomenon, not an anomaly, he said, and result from variations in the sun’s energy output and ultraviolet radiation.

The Northern Hemisphere’s most recent cool-down period occurred between 1645 and 1705. The resulting period, known as the Little Ice Age, left canals in the Netherlands frozen solid and forced people in Greenland to abandon their houses to glaciers, the scientist said.

Now, really! Ordinarily you’d read that and shrug it off as more madness from some Russian scientist who’s on the dole and begging for research money after the fall of the Evil Empire, wouldn’t you? Especially in light of the fact that it totally contradicts everything Al Gore has been telling us, right? But wait! What’s this .... ?

SPOTLESS SUN
(SPACEWEATHER.COM)

The sunspot number has been zero for nine consecutive days--the longest stretch of blank suns since October 1996. This is a clear sign that solar minimum has arrived. Solar activity should remain low, although surprises are possible. Scientists track solar cycles by counting sunspots—cool planet-sized areas on the Sun where intense magnetic loops poke through the star’s visible surface.

Very few sunspots were seen on the Sun from about 1645 to 1715 (see chart below). Although the observations were not as extensive as in later years, the Sun was in fact well observed during this time and this lack of sunspots is well documented. This period of solar inactivity also corresponds to a climatic period called the “Little Ice Age” when rivers that are normally ice-free froze and snow fields remained year-round at lower altitudes. There is evidence that the Sun has had similar periods of inactivity in the more distant past. The connection between solar activity and terrestrial climate is an area of on-going research.

image

It was at this point that a strange tinfoil hat flew out of my closet and landed on my head. With a flash, the answer hit me! It’s a conspiracy by the Looney Left and MOOS-lim radicals to trick us into extinction so they can take over the world.

As evidence I present: (1) The morons at PETA want to force us all to give up our fur coats and wear nothing but lightweight cotton; (2) Al Gore and his Lunatic Environwhackos are trying to throw us off with crap about “glowball warming” so we won’t see the approaching doom from a frozen world; (3) The MOOS-lims are trying to drive us out of the Middle East ‘cause they know that’s the only place that won’t be frozen under a glacier in a few years; (4) The Democrats are up to something - I just know it. They’ve been too quiet lately.

So there! The Skipper reports, you decide. Let’s see if we can start a comment thread to rival most of the crap over at Democratic Underwear.


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 02/07/2006 at 11:04 AM   
Filed Under: • Fun-StuffSatireScience-Technology •  
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