Sunday - February 25, 2007

Hollywood Hustle

Get ready. In just a few hours you will witness the ultimate public masturbation event. Everyone who is anyone in Hollywood is even now primping, adjusting, fidgeting, sweating and applying five layers of makeup and thousands of dollars worth of designer clothes ... all this in preparation for the annual awards these pompous asses give themselves every year.

The shindig starts on ABC at 5:00PT/8:00ET and will finally wind down well after midnight in eastern parts of the country as the celebrats gather their trophies and adjourn to the private parties where champagne and cocaine flow in abundance - there to pat the winners on the back over a toast ( or a snort) or shed crocodile tears with the losers.

I may watch the first hour just out of curiosity but that’s about as far as my attention span is good for these days. Besides, I hate watching people praise themselves for an acting job that really sucked but earned them an award thanks to studio politics, arm twisting and trade magazine hype. In other words, it’s just too dang phony for me. Sorry.

The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences (AMPAS) does do a lot of good work restoring old motion pictures (back when they made good movies with real actors) and there are an awful lot of good people behind the cameras working their butts off to make the stars look good.

To all the sound men, lighting men, grips, extras, stand-ins, stuntmen, cameramen and all the rest of the “average working men and women” behind the scenes, I offer my congratulations for a job well done in making movies more real and fun. Now if we only could find decent actors, writers and producers we’d be in business.

Oh, almost forgot. Let’s lose the politics and activist agendas that permeate everything coming out of Hollywood nowadays. Give us some entertainment. The vast movie-going public couldn’t give a rat’s ass about environmental concerns, liberals vs. conservatives, the justification for war or the plight of homosexuals when we plunk down $8 for a ticket.

We want to get away from all that for a few hours. Entertain us. Don’t try to indoctrinate us. We might buy more movie tickets if Hollywood would just make us forget our troubles for a little while and take us away to someplace we’ve never been before - not have our noses rubbed in every problem in the world. The world and those problems will still be there when the popcorn is gone and we emerge from a theater back into reality.

With that said, I will now descend from my soap box and offer you my picks for tonight’s Oscars©. I’ve watched most of this year’s crop either at the theater or on DVD. I cried at “United 93”, was shocked and amazed at “Last King Of Scotland”, deeply touched by “Flags Of Our Fathers”, highly entertained by “The Departed”, swept off my feet in amazement watching “Apocalypto” and almost bored to tears with “The Queen” (which did have good acting though). I haven’t seen “An Inconvenient Truth”. Don’t plan to. My bullshit meter is already pegged for the week. Enjoy!

Posted by The Skipper     on 02/25/2007 at 03:54 PM   
Filed Under: • Celebrities •  
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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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