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calendar   Tuesday - October 22, 2013

Fire Away!

Always Order Extra Rice



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I just finished eating some Thai Pad Basil (pad kra prao) that was left over from our visit to the local Thai place the other night. The thing about Thai leftovers is that the spices blend, and the dish somehow gets even hotter. And we like it hot to begin with.

So my mouth is rather on fire right now, and the sweat is running down my head like I’m in the shower. Oh, it hurts so good. Yum.

I realize that this is not a dining sensation most people would look forward to, so here’s a little tip: always order some extra plain rice. The starch puts the fire out. Thai restaurants always serve jasmine rice, which is tasty, but any starchy short to medium grain rice will work. American long grain rice doesn’t have enough starch, and ... well, let’s just forget about that horrible instant rice, otherwise known as Sin In A Box. Rice is the easiest thing in the world to make perfectly* so who needs the instant junk?

Actually heavy dairy products work pretty well too. And slices of fresh citrus - lemons, limes, oranges, grapefruit. Mango and banana to a lesser extent. Thai Iced Tea only works a little bit, and that’s because it has so much cream in it. No, if you go dairy, you want full fat heavy duty dairy.

What doesn’t work is slamming down glass after glass of water, iced tea, beer, or wine. They actually make things worse, by rinsing out your mouth and re-exposing your taste buds to all those lovely capsicums in the peppers which bring the heat.

So if friends drag you to some scary foreign eatery, and you think you might be being led directly into the mouth of an epicurean volcano, play it smart and order yourself a firefighter’s side dish: a big scoop of plain rice, two oranges cut into sections, and a nice cool mango lasi, a fantastic fruit smoothie made with plenty of full fat yogurt. Take a swallow of the lasi, swish it around your mouth a few times, then swallow. A forkful of rice, and chew it well. Another sip of lasi, and then a bite of orange, and you’ll be ready for the next forkful of firefood. Worst case, for places that can’t make up a yogurt anything - order a double dish of vanilla ice cream. No rice, no citrus, no yogurt, no ice cream? Where the hell are you eating? In that case get bread and a glass of milk. It’s better than nothing.

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Posted by Drew458   United States  on 10/22/2013 at 11:40 AM   
Filed Under: • Fine-Dining •  
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