BMEWS
 
Sarah Palin's image already appears on the newer nickels.

calendar   Saturday - October 02, 2004

Feeling Bold

I’m walking out on a limb here but hurricane forecasters have come out to say that Florida should be in the clear insofar as further hurricame activity goes this year.

In light of that, I thought it appropriate that I should post this, contributed by Ric, which helps define whether or not you might be a Floridian.

Let’s hope the “hurricane gods” don’t think I’m being too flip and throw another one our way.... (squats in front of ceremonial firepit, makes offerings of Cubs and Cards memorobilia, mumbles chants, dances deliriously, yells, “GO YANKEES!!!!!”...........then faints)


You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances, Ivan or Jeanne.

Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time.

You’re looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color

You think of your hall closet/safe room as “cozy”

Your pool is more accurately described as “framed in” than “screened in”

Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it

You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months

You, too, haven’t heard back from the insurance adjuster

You now understand what that little “2% hurricane deductible” phrase really means, ( If your lucky enough to still have the 2%, which mysteriously went to 5% )

You’re putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood

You were once proud of your 16” electric chain saw

Your Street has more than 3 “NO WAKE” signs posted

You now own 5 large ice chests

Your parrot can now say” hammered, pounded and hunker down”

You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations

You stop what you’re doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street

You’re depressed when they don’t stop

You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood, roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer

You’ve spent more than $20 on “Tall white kitchen bags” to make your own sand bags

You’re considering upgrading your 16” to a 20” chainsaw

You know what “Bar chain oil” is

You’re thinking of getting your wife the hard hat with the ear protector and face shield for Christmas

You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable

You look forward to discussions about the merits of “cubed, block and dry ice”

Your therapist refers to your condition as “generator envy”

You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator, doesn’t get electric

You ask your sister up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds!


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Posted by Ranting Right Wing Howler   United States  on 10/02/2004 at 05:45 AM   
Filed Under: • Humor •  
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