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calendar   Tuesday - March 06, 2007

Equal Time

In the last 48 hours, since I posted the “Faggot Poll” below, I have received 37 e-mails from homosexuals accusing me of homophobia in every way, shape and form. A few of them demanded “equal time” to explain how “hurtful” and “demeaning” the word “faggot” is to them.

Memo to homosexuals: Cry me a river, girls. I get called much worse every freaking day. Get over it.

However, in the interests of “Equal Time” and under the rules of the Federal Communications Act of 1934, I present the following as a counterpoint to the whole Ann Coulter “faggot” kerfuffle. Happy reading ....

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Review:

Michael Thomas Ford garnered lots of laughs in 1998 with Alec Baldwin Doesn’t Love Me and Other Trials from My Queer Life. The follow-up collection of pieces from his syndicated column, That’s Mr. Faggot to You, continues Ford’s exploration of contemporary gay life. In the title essay, reports of a teenager who successfully sued his school district for failing to prevent physical and mental abuse by his classmates prompts Ford to recall his own traumatic high school experiences and leads him to recognize that, years later, “he is happier, more successful, and a great deal more attractive” than his classmates.

In other essays, he discusses the you-and-me against-the-world relationship he has with his black Labrador, proposes a new line of Christian-friendly action figures (including a Jonah and the Whale Play Set, “appropriate for bath-time use or fun in the pool"), and even manages, despite his uncertainties, to offer an adolescent nephew dating advice (concluding that “guy problems were guy problems, regardless of who the person creating the dilemma was or how many holes she or he had"). That’s Mr. Faggot to You is a humorous slice of contemporary gay life that’s bound at least to elicit a smile from any reader.

Cranky, bemused and extremely funny, Ford (Alec Baldwin Doesn’t Love Me) is brilliant even on potentially mundane topics like high school reunions ("Michael Thomas Ford is very proud to announce that he is still queer… [and] happier, more successful, and a great deal more attractive” than his former schoolmates) and the giving of advice to his 12-year-old nephew about girlfriends (it wasn’t so bad, once he mentally substituted Roberto and Jesse for Amber and Megan in the junior-high love triangle). Ford is peeved at a number of people, including Baptists boycotting Ellen, a certain senator from North Carolina and former ACT-UP leaders who now want gay men and women to be “just like everybody else.”


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Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 03/06/2007 at 05:56 AM   
Filed Under: • Satire •  
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Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
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