BMEWS
 
Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

calendar   Tuesday - November 02, 2004

Election Shenanigans

In Atlanta, babies were not allowed in the polling centers with John Kerry clothing. George Bush cowboy boots are another matter entirely.

If you’re approached by a pollster while voting today, here are ten great things you can say to them. Besides, the obligatory “f**k you”, “eat s**t” and “I voted for Nader”.

If you really want to have a good time, put on a John Kerry T-shirt and a George Bush mask and go scream like a loon outside your polling center. But when the cops show up, don’t think for a minute that “the devil made me do it” is a viable defense.

The first final returns are in .... from Guam. George Bush beats John Kerry by 17,264 to 9,540. Who the f**k is Campagna Badnarik and why did 53 Guamanians vote for him (her?). I’m confused.

Alaskans today are also voting on whether to totally legalize the possession and sale of marijuana. Democrats claim if the bill passes, Alaskans will be too stoned to notice evil Republicans stealing all of the oil in ANWR. Governor of Alaska was unavailable for comment .. reportedly in “doobie session” with legislature.

Tom Dasshole has filed a lawsuit to stop evil Republicans from writing down license plate numbers of Indians voting in South Dakota. Judge immediately grants the restraining order after Dasshole explains the Indians are afraid the white men are stealing their souls by writing down their tag numbers. So Sioux Me!

In eleven states (Mississippi, Montana, Oregon, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma and Utah) voters get to cast their vote either for or against gay marriage as part of their state’s Constitution. North Dakota’s gay population (approximately 2) are outraged.

Headline Of The Day: “World Riveted By US Election”. Riveted? Dear World: get a fucking life, OK?

In Paris, US citizens living abroad are staying up with their French comrades to celebrate a Kerry victory. Memo to those US citizens in Paris: if Kerry wins, don’t even think about coming home. The Revolution begins the minute Bush concedes.

In New Jersey, someone spilled salt on the floor at a polling center and they evacuated the building, thinking it was anthrax. And here I thought salt was only this effective when applied to a bird’s tail.

And finally, porn star Seymour Butts is promising to give away free DVDs to anyone who shows up at New York’s Times Square Virgin Megastore with proof that they voted in today’s US presidential election. You just can’t make shit like this up. You just have to be patient and the story will come to you. Feel the Force, Luke.

My Projection for the Election .... Bush - 262 Electoral Votes, Kerry - 261 Electoral Votes .... the contest will be decided by the US House Of Representatives .... Democrats will claim they were robbed again .... four more years of whining and pouting .... Vilmar and I finally crack and start taking out Liberal pinheads with sniper attacks .... after being caught and tried, we will be sentenced to five hours of community service by Conservative judge. That is all. Carry on.

Note: Just kidding about the sniper shit. Bwah-hah-ha-ha-ha ....


avatar

Posted by The Skipper   United States  on 11/02/2004 at 03:38 PM   
Filed Under: • Democrats-Liberals-Moonbat LeftistsHumor •  
Comments (1) Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  
Page 1 of 1 pages

Five Most Recent Trackbacks:

Once Again, The One And Only Post
(3 total trackbacks)
Tracked at diamond painting uk
The Glee alum's dark cheap diamond cheap diamond painting painting locks were styled stick straight and tucke diamond painting kits d behind her diamond painting kits ears diamond painting uk…
On: 03/20/21 10:12

Vietnam Homecoming
(1 total trackbacks)
Tracked at 广告专题配音 专业从事中文配音跟外文配音制造,北京名传天下配音公司
  专业从事中文配音和外文配音制作,北京名传天下配音公司   北京名传天下专业配音公司成破于2006年12月,是专业从事中 中文配音 文配音跟外文配音的音频制造公司,幻想飞腾配音网领 配音制作 有海内外优良专业配音职员已达500多位,可供给一流的外语配音,长年服务于国内中心级各大媒体、各省市电台电视台,能满意不同客户的各种需要。电话:010-83265555   北京名传天下专业配音公司…
On: 03/20/21 07:00

The Brownshirts: Partie Deux; These aare the Muscle We've Been Waiting For
(2 total trackbacks)
Tracked at 香港特首曾荫权和部分高管分别用步行或搭乘公共交通工具的方式上班
西安电加热油温机 香港盛吹“环保风” 专家指市民已从被动变主动 中新网9月29日 淮安导热油电加热炉 电 据香港中通社报道,9月29日晚由香港某环保团体举行的“无冷气夜”,吸引了5万名市民及超过60间企业承诺参加。这是香港最近环保活动不断升温过程中的大型活动之一。 进入九月,香港各界环保活动渐入高潮,层出不穷。特首高官与各界市民齐齐参与,是其中一个最大特色。…
On: 03/21/18 12:12

meaningless marching orders for a thousand travellers ... strife ahead ..
(1 total trackbacks)
Tracked at Casual Blog
[...] RTS. IF ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS CONSTRUED AS BEING CONTRARY TO THE LAWS APPL [...]
On: 07/17/17 04:28

a small explanation
(1 total trackbacks)
Tracked at yerba mate gourd
Find here top quality how to prepare yerba mate without a gourd that's available in addition at the best price. Get it now!
On: 07/09/17 03:07



DISCLAIMER
Allanspacer

THE SERVICES AND MATERIALS ON THIS WEBSITE ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" AND THE HOSTS OF THIS SITE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, TO THE EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF SATISFACTORY QUALITY, MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, WITH RESPECT TO THE SERVICE OR ANY MATERIALS.

Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:
  1. Keep a firm grasp of Right and Wrong
  2. Stay involved with government on every level and don't let those bastards get away with a thing
  3. Use every legal means to defend yourself in the event of real internal trouble, and, most importantly:
  4. Keep talking to each other, whether here or elsewhere
It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

THE INFORMATION AND OTHER CONTENTS OF THIS WEBSITE ARE DESIGNED TO COMPLY WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS WEBSITE SHALL BE GOVERNED BY AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND ALL PARTIES IRREVOCABLY SUBMIT TO THE JURISDICTION OF THE AMERICAN COURTS. IF ANYTHING ON THIS WEBSITE IS CONSTRUED AS BEING CONTRARY TO THE LAWS APPLICABLE IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY, THEN THIS WEBSITE IS NOT INTENDED TO BE ACCESSED BY PERSONS FROM THAT COUNTRY AND ANY PERSONS WHO ARE SUBJECT TO SUCH LAWS SHALL NOT BE ENTITLED TO USE OUR SERVICES UNLESS THEY CAN SATISFY US THAT SUCH USE WOULD BE LAWFUL.


Copyright © 2004-2015 Domain Owner



GNU Terry Pratchett


Oh, and here's some kind of visitor flag counter thingy. Hey, all the cool blogs have one, so I should too. The Visitors Online thingy up at the top doesn't count anything, but it looks neat. It had better, since I paid actual money for it.
free counters