Sunday - March 27, 2005

Depression: Whip It .. Whip It Good

Russian scientists have completed a new study on depression and released their results. It seems that a better alternative to Prozac and Paxil is .... a good old fashioned butt-whippin’.

Siberian scientists believe that addiction to alcohol and narcotics, as well as depression, suicidal thoughts and psychosomatic diseases occur when an individual loses his or her interest in life. The absence of the will to live is caused with decreasing production of endorphins - the substance, which is known as the hormone of happiness. If a depressed individual receives a physical punishment, whipping that is, it will stir up endorphin receptors, activate the “production of happiness” and eventually remove depressive feelings.

Russian scientists recommend the following course of the whipping therapy: 30 sessions of 60 whips on the buttocks in every procedure. A group of drug addicts volunteered to test the new method of treatment: the results can be described as good and excellent.

Hmmmm .. methinks Stanley, OCM, Oink, Barb and a few other depressed members around here could use a little therapy. All right, gang! Bend over and grab your ankles. I promise this will hurt me more than it will you but it is for the greater good, OK?

Crack that whip Give the past the slip Step on a crack Break your momma’s back When a problem comes along You must whip it Before the cream sits out too long You must whip it When something’s going wrong You must whip it Now whip it Into shape Shape it up Get straight Go forward Move ahead Try to detect it It’s not too late To whip it Whip it good

Yes, it seems Devo was decades ahead of their time, eh?

Posted by The Skipper     on 03/27/2005 at 11:42 AM   
Filed Under: • Science-Technology •  
• Comments (21) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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Not that very many people ever read this far down, but this blog was the creation of Allan Kelly and his friend Vilmar. Vilmar moved on to his own blog some time ago, and Allan ran this place alone until his sudden and unexpected death partway through 2006. We all miss him. A lot. Even though he is gone this site will always still be more than a little bit his. We who are left to carry on the BMEWS tradition owe him a great debt of gratitude, and we hope to be able to pay that back by following his last advice to us all:

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It's been a long strange trip without you Skipper, but thanks for pointing us in the right direction and giving us a swift kick in the behind to get us going. Keep lookin' down on us, will ya? Thanks.

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