Thursday - August 05, 2010

Country Life

J & A’s little quackers are locally famous. They even have their own channel at YouTube. All the neighbors are forever asking about their exploits ... because these two have the “It” factor, and provide all sorts of comedy. They aren’t really livestock, they’re pets. Affectionate and attention hungry feathered children who have totally bonded with their “parents”. And a certain pair of Chuck Taylor sneakers. Aww, so cute!

Harold & Skokie are great comedians and as I said earlier - have brought daily humor to us.  So much so, they have their own channel on YouTube.  We had no choice, they were in demand. Family and friends called and wrote asking for daily updates as they grew, feathers were sent for kids’ show-and-tells, all the questions everyone asked made the whole venture interesting.  So we began to put still photos and video footage together with music backgrounds. Go to YouTube’s search window and enter: ‘Cattywumpus Farm’ or “JabberwockyNation”.

But such a ducky idyll like this can’t last forever, and the two web-footed clowns are sometimes on the receiving end of the harsher aspects of nature. I told you about their being picked on by the local wild turkeys. This week’s adventure is far more serious. Coyotes. Hungry evil coyotes. A small pack of them. But coyotes who had not taken the Mom Factor into account. Big mistake.

What happened was this: noon, she left the boys on the porch for a moment.  Came outside sat down, heard a bunch of noise coming from our orchard that is to the left of our front porch.  She saw a group of turkeys light from the ground, go over the top of the orchard and fly toward the tall trees behind our dog kennel.  This is an indication of a predator.  Turkeys only fly when thoroughly freaked.  A second later a rust colored coyote showed up.  Mom Duck (Autumn) opened the door and shooed Harold and Skokie in the house…she had to take her eye off the coyote… but she’s well aware of their ‘double back’ routine.  I’m asleep upstairs and our log house is insulated so well for sound I didn’t hear anything till nearly too late.

She got the boys in…and waited…she had her .410 loaded sitting on the porch floor and her .38 in her porch chair. 

She sees no activity...thirty minutes later…opens the front door for the boys…they walk out…just as they hit the porch and walk to the left …this coyote shows himself just yards from the house.  She knows about quick movements with predators…she was careful...coaxed the boys back to her…the .410 was on the porch floor…the .38 with low recoil hollow points is in the chair also behind her.  Skokie went in the house no problem…Harold thought she was playing ‘tag’ and ran to the end of the porch… to the left...right toward the coyote...this caused the normally skittish coyote to charge to the house…which caused my wife to grab a log from the woodpile…and scream an unbelievable scream…that’s what woke me up and I ran down the steps…I hit the front door…and approximately thirty feet from the porch is a huge coyote…Harold is hugging my wife’s foot in fear…Mom is holding another log and this coyote isn’t backing down…she threw the first one and cracked him good.  Autumn gave him a look pupil to pupil they were twenty feet apart and she pulled her lips back to a full toothful ‘go ahead punk make my day’ in dog speak…my wife is little but she has her Dad’s voice….everyone that calls after she answers the phone calls her Mister.  LOL.  She growled back deeper and meaner than the coyote…LOL.  I grabbed her .38 and I was panicked didn’t think just shot to stop it all. I was worried this crazy coyote and her would go head to head.  I shot in the air like an ass. He took off.

We called the neighbors because they have cattle with calves and chickens and such…that’s when we found out there was a trio of coyotes that had gotten to chickens, calves and two deeply loved family dogs.  They said there’s three that aren’t leaving the area.  We always call each other, being so far apart and all.  Autumn and I met up with everyone and she was tapped for duty.  Autumn is a crack shot. 

Back to the coyotes … noon isn’t a proper time for coyotes ... something is wrong with this group that has all neighbor’s concerned ... seven neighbors ID’d a uniquely colored coyote with companions…what has us all worried is normally coyotes are skittish and easily shooed off.  These are NOT. 

So a-hunting she did go. Into the woods to get the Big Bad Wolf. Ok, the medium sized wolf, but there are 3 of them and only one of her. So she left the .38 and the .410 behind, and took the .264. Egads! A .264 is a 6.5mm hot rod deer rifle. It’s based on the .300 H&H case, the same one used for the .338 Winchester Magnum elk cartridge and the .458 Winchester Magnum elephant gun. It can shoot a 140 grain bullet at more than 3000 feet per second. And a 140 grain bullet in the small .264 caliber has exceptional sectional density, which means the bullets can shoot through damn near anything and keep right on going. Overkill? Hardly. “Too much gun” is usually just the right amount. “Too much rifle for a woman?” Don’t you dare go there. Country girls can handle anything when the job needs doing.

High summer is the best time to visit your relatives back on the farm. Send the city kids and grandchildren out to the country for a few weeks. So word soon got out about the ‘yote hunt, and it nearly became a carnival. Hey, it’s a bit of excitement for everybody.

Senior neighbors with good hearing and grandchildren spending the summer with them are having a type of “Where’s Waldo” with Autumn, the coyote massacre and “Miss Autumn’s out with her gun!” rumors.

First email came from an 80 yr. old WWII Vet. around 5 AM.  He said: “Remarkable, here I was heading into town when a familiar blonde carrying a familiar rifle walked onto the road.  She leans into the car window and says: “Could you get a message to Jeffrey?  Tell him, Mom Duck One - Coyotes Zero” and there were seven boys with her.  A few carrying their guns, water bottles and backpacks...is she taking on the Boy Scouts? Shes two miles from home.”

LOL.  “Miss Autumn” has a following.  Most of the kids here are staying with grandparents...and this is the biggest excitement.  A rigged boy scout trip in the woods day and night learning things.  It gives me hope that not all kids are stuck to their Wiis and Xboxes!

I check my phone for a message from the Great Blond Huntress ... four hours go by ... finally:

Her: “Me and my calvalcade of followers...lol...one down...two to go.”
Me: “Do you need me to come out and help you dispose?  Need a shovel?  Need the truck?”
Her: “No...it’s okay.....it’s all taken care of...”
Me: “You buried it?”
Her: “Not really.”
Me: “Wha?”
Her: “Jefferson.  Just what in the hell do you think I’m using to bait the trap?  The boys just learned hands on coyote anatomy.”

Yup, like I said, more than enough gun gets it done.

No pictures yet, not that they’d show much other than pulp. But I’m expecting to soon hear that the other two ‘yotes have been turned into throw rugs.

Wardmama, I think you’ve got some competition for Ace Varmint Remover.

Update: Mom Duck 2, Coyotes 0.  Still out in the woods, camping out with the local boys on their best scouting expedition ever ever ever!!; rumor has it than an unknown blond woman and her custom made Harry Lawson rifle have nailed another fanged furball. Dinner in the woods was franks and beans, a proper cowboy meal, followed by Jiffy Pop around the campfire. Hope those kids brought cameras, because nobody is going to believe their story back in the city without some pictures. Maybe we should get Autumn one of those horned helmets and a big metal breastplate. She’s got to have Valkyrie status in those kid’s eyes by now. Warrior Princess, at least.

Posted by Drew458     on 08/05/2010 at 11:04 AM   
Filed Under: • Daily Life • Fun-Stuff •  
• Comments (5) • Trackbacks(0)  Permalink •  

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