You Are Not Alone
Ok, just checking to see if it works. And it seems to. I’m not sure how long member “Bill W” will be active, but I wanted to give folks the chance to say whatever they needed to say, anonymously if necessary. It’s a way I can help a little.
Posted by Bill W
10/29/2009 at 08:41 PM
My Dad was an alcoholic. Ultimately, he died of it when he was 45. If they’ve seen you “being an alcoholic”, chances are very good that they’ll do nearly anything to help you shake it and stay clear of it. Very little that you *could* ask them will be as tough for them as watching you and not being able to do anything.
But remember, they aren’t the ones with the problem, they simply cannot see it from your perspective. It’s a near certainty that they’ll be happy, overjoyed, at the chance to help and support you… but only if you let them know what help and support you need.
The battle isn’t lost as long as you haven’t stopped fighting to win it.
"They” being your family, friends and loved ones of course. Sorry, I’m pretty wiped and sore from a long hard day, and my brain is trying to shut down.
I’m an adult child of an alcoholic, I was always aware of how easily I could go down that same path so I never drank a lot in my younger days. Now I only have the occasional glass of wine. The lives of everyone who loves you will be so much better when you are sober. One day at a time. May God give you strength on the journey you are beginning and may He give your loved ones the strength to support you.
Girlfriend hit the road and I hit the bottle. I’d get off work and sit in a bar til sundown and then go home. Worked seven days a week and on Sunday I’d stop in at a tavern close to work. This is the one all the alkys stopped at. I could look around and see some of the really bad ones there. A real snakepit type of place. A guy I knew who was in his mid 30’s was having his first one of the day with shakey hands. Other long time hard drinkers I knew were beginning to drop like flies from accidents and liver damage. A couple of them got shot. None of them ever reached 45yrs old. After a while I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired so I just quit stopping in after work and went home.
Found another girlfriend and she was having to go to substance abuse class for her second DUI. So being her “support person” I went also. Heard all of the arguments and psycho babble and enabler stuff. What it really boils down to is two things: 1. Who’s in charge? You or the bottle. 2. Pick one. Live or Die. There are no other choices.
Good luck. May God bless you in your endevour.
Posted by Bill W
10/30/2009 at 08:19 AM
I am a sober alcoholic - the quitting was amazingly easy. What wasn’t easy was finding the key to my addictive behavior. Alcohol wasn’t my only ‘drug of choice.’
It all began to become clear - despite knowing the 12 step program, a deep (if not often fallen) faith and belief in God - until one day when I said - I won’t let my kids experience what is coming as they do not deserve it at all and I can do something about it now and I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of me.
I went out on a limb - by myself for my kids. No money (actually lived on $26.00 a month for a few months), no electricity for a few weeks, no heat. And borrowing money left right and indifferent from people who simply trusted me when I said, when I get back up on my feet - you are first. It took a lot - but I did pay it back in less than a year. And got a divorce.
Less than a year later I was remarried and sober. Sadly, it took another 5 years - in the midst of something I can’t even remember (probably a bad fight with my mom) it all of a sudden (I was venting rage alone in my bedroom before the kids got home from school) the real cause of all my weakness and addictive behavior came out - and from then on my life has been in my control. No more of the addictive needs, no more of the anger and most importantly no more of the nightmares that used to haunt me, even when I was awake - no wonder I wanted to kill the pain.
The pain can and will go away - if you only work at being the best person you can be. And admitting a problem and putting a voice to it - is the first step to removing the hold it has on you.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks Wardmama, that’s the kind of comment I was hoping for. This can be beaten, but it takes time and willpower.
Wardmama...you done good. God bless you and thanks for adding your story. You make a very compelling argument for taking back control of your life.
